────────────── in some ways , her story is a parallel of his . once doting father had chosen a life of vengeance and murderous rage , once innocent child condemned to an existence they didn’t want &. burdened with knowledge of the world ; they were both fighting to break the never - ending cycle of death and despair that their fathers had left behind , both desperate in the search for a truth they might never find . sam was fighting a losing battle with fate herself , at war with the creature within in hopes of staving off his transformation into grotesqueness . 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 , since dean had sold his soul to the devil in hopes of redemption ; perhaps @byassociation was better off than he .
❝ ‘ uneasy is the head that wears the crown . ’ that was always my favourite quote from shakespeare when i was at stanford . ❞ unbeknownst to sam , his reign in hell was steadily approaching , and that quote would ring more true than ever ; he’d lose everything in the fight for the crown , even his own humanity . ❝ but i think that i have a new one . . . ‘ presume not that i am the thing i was . ’ it’s a quote about rebirth , but it can also be about redemption . you aren’t cursed to become your father . 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 . ❞
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────────────── fingers tap lightly against the seam that runs along inner thigh , gaze jumps from face to face in the crowded room , leg shakes gently against the chair ( the quiet squeak from his movements is irritating , but it’s the only outlet that he has for his anxieties now ) as heavy sigh escapes his lips . the quiet ‘ 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔 ’ of the clock’s second hand serves as a reminder that he’s stuck here until dean comes to get them both ; he had been so hell - bent on following @godforget from the motel , helping him in whatever illegal bullshit he was going to do next , but sitting across from him now , sam wasn’t so sure if it was a good idea . ❝ how much longer before this dude shows up ? ❞
as if either winchester needed any more attention drawn to themselves as of late ; both of their faces were plastered on every news channel , at the top of the fbi’s most wanted list . even with his hair pulled back , jasper’s dirty baseball cap secured atop his head , he can’t help but worry that someone will recognize him , that the wrong ad will come up on the tv ( that after months of being on the run , he’d get caught in some backwater town in indianapolis with jasper by his side ) . ❝ i got a bad feeling about this . ❞
𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃 // “ you insisted on coming along, i was fine on my own ”
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────────────── heavy sigh escapes pursed lips as head rests against the glass of the stolen car , gaze remains fixated on the motel door where they wait for dean’s appearance ( ironic , considering sam is always made fun of for taking too long to get ready ) , the biting chill of the incoming wisconsin weather slipping through the slight crack in the window and leaking through the old beaten frame . he doesn’t turn around when @godforget speaks , doesn’t bother looking away from the worn maroon of the wooden frame . he’d been far less forgiving since returning with dean on the road , since his life had been ripped apart , since he’d died and become the catalyst for his brother’s own demise ; his humanity was beginning to fray at the edges , once soft persona now brittle and firm from the fracturing of his soul ( unbeknownst to him and dean , it wasn’t long before he’d lose everything and turn into the monster that they’d all feared he’d become ) .
jaw grits as teeth grind against one another , hazel hues drop to untouched pages of his father’s journal before throat clears . ❝ don’t bitch at me for my own emotions . wasn’t my idea for you to tag along in the first place . ❞ brute honestly more akin to that from dean or john , but sam can’t help the burn of frustration in his chest as book slams shut , as teeth tug at the excess flesh hanging off his index finger . ❝ dean wanted to see you before his year was up , 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 . but don’t act like i’m deranged for being upset that my brother has one foot in his own grave . ❞
𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃 // “ it’s not my fault i can’t interpret your emotional morse code ”
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