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obciidian · 4 years

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this day comes with heaviness to the heart. he, who is habitually tender and benevolent now mantled with woe and melancholy. the bereavement and the quietus within the heart feels all too vacant for him to process, even as it has been many years, it is still rather surreal to him... how fragile life candidly is. this certain despondency becomes evident across his features days before the anniversary and now that wisteria is such a significant part of his life, she has unfortunately embedded herself into witnessing the toil this takes on both the soul and psyche.

❛ you don’t have to do anything, i’ll be quick. ❜ the air around him is surprisingly clear, and the cool wind is pleasant against his face. he had meant not drag her along with him to the cemetery and yet, here they are. there is apprehension gathered amidst the thorax, such which presses down onto it and hinders the breath -- perplexity is not yet written across the expression, but manifested nonetheless, when he crouches down to clean the dust with some water and a paper towel. this being more than a ritual of what namoo would like to confide as paying respects, rather than having any meaning at all. ❛ we’ll be out here shortly. ❜ perhaps, this reassurance is more so to himself rather than to wisteria. ╱ @pcstilnt

#❪ queue. ❫#❪ onm. ❫ interactions.#tw: mourning #tw: death #❪ onm & aw. ❫ i used to confide this warmth is only temporary and evanescent until i met you.#pcstilnt

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obciidian · 4 years

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they say that a drunken man’s actions are his sober hidden intentions. there is a sense of truth in the phrase, which namoo cannot repudiate. whichever had occurred between the two of them was not solely out of lust or desire which is provided by a substance in their bodies -- there is something more to it, there must be, otherwise there would have been zilch softness and covetousness residing between their enervated bodies afterwards. whichever had occurred, namoo yearns for it to not be a product of his fantasy yet rooted in reality. he does not yearn to comprehend that what he had surmised was naught but in vain.

❛ i... see... ❜ the dispiritedness is onerous to conceal. namoo is not the type to be fully adequate of mantling the various sentiments which swirl through the heart and agitate it, regardless of the immense sense of equanimity habitually possessed and displayed outwardly. the way in which wisteria disregards this type of question, as if he had not labored from within to ponder and contemplate just how will he address their current situation for a few days, afflicts. patently, there is tension in their air -- dare he say, unwieldiness. ❛ sorry for bringing it up. ❜ the disillusionment and dejection pierce through the stripling, now lost in his own dismay. it isn’t solely denial which he ought accept but rather, the manifest rejection of anything but professionalism between the two of them, regardless of the night they have spent in each other’s arms. soon, he proceeds in his tasks to organize the store, inhaling a deep breath to seek composure of some sorts. ❛ did you, uh, put the lavender oil bottles away ? i can’t find them... ❜ ╱ @pcstilnt , cont.

#❪ queue. ❫#❪ onm. ❫ interactions.#❪ onm & aw. ❫ i used to confide this warmth is only temporary and evanescent until i met you.#pcstilnt

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obciidian · 4 years

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“ i want us to grow old together. ” -- the last one , wis @ her man ╱ source , open , @pcstilnt

many times it was told to him not to dwell onto the past, not to dream of the future. to concentrate his mind on the present moment ; the present moment filled with duress, with the worries of how many orders may he finish right this moment before his energies succumb. it is infeasible not to think of the future -- everything that he does commences a path for the future. his baby, his beloved, his mother... put before him, to be considered in the future -- how will it look for them ? bright and comfortable, or gloomy and morose as he had not given of himself for their own rapture ?

the mind which constantly is flooded with perturbations and consternation of the future, halts its process of overthinking. simply, nothing is pondered upon as he rests in her arms. the solace she offers his is immense, vehemently overpowering whichever concern resides in the heart. as if everything nulled and numbed, the limbs soften in her embrace ; she offers him the world at the palm of her hand, and he is too apprehensive to grasp onto it.

in these times of wonder, wisteria is all that he has. the love blooming in both of her chest and now her stomach as well, grounds him to this place. wherever she is, love finds its way to him. it is evident how enamored he is by simply gazing at him when he is around her -- namoo is hapless in a sense, trapped inside infatuation that cannot be shattered. and candidly avowing, he yearns it not to be shattered as well.

❛ i want that, too. ❜ these genuine words are mumbled against the fabric of her shirt, where he rests his head upon her bosom, relishing in the steady sound of her heartbeat. who would have thought in their right minds that namoo could obtain such pure sense of felicity and calm, and in a woman such as herself ? there had been no expectations of that sort within him, until he had met her... thence, he abruptly knew that their lives will be entangled together. ❛ i want the rest of our lives together to start already. ❜

#❪ queue. ❫#❪ askbox. ❫#❪ prompts. ❫#❪ onm & aw. ❫ i used to confide this warmth is only temporary and evanescent until i met you.#❪ onm. ❫ interactions.#pcstilnt

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obciidian · 4 years

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sit + neck — wis @ namoo 👀 ╱ source , open , @pcstilnt

distractions, saccharine lips -- or so he imagines at the tip of his tongue, now clung to the top of his mouth, move in a way that disables the mind of concentration. this had been one of the least brilliant ideas which namoo has had ; to sanction a never satiated woman such as wisteria into the office. he should have known better than to succumb to her whims. this request to join him in his session.

alas, he had succumbed in a matter of seconds, and the distraction is too much to endure. a few moments of heedlessness and patience were sufficient to proceed in matters of records and writings yet the more time progressed each kiss placed upon his neck withdraws him further away from concentration. ❛ hey, i--. ❜ a furrowed pair of eyebrows that mark his forehead in the now evident attempt to regain some sense of equanimity... albeit, in vain. ❛ can you maybe, give me half an hour ? alone ? ❜ the proximity is nearly suffocating, and there is oh so much that he can take before the arm that securely wraps around her waist, will take her to the nearest surface. perhaps, namoo is not as gentle as he may be perceived upon first glance ; temptation is grand, and he is a man after all. a man who is completely infatuated with the woman seated atop his lap. ❛ then, we can do whatever you want, my love. i promise. ❜

#❪ queue. ❫#❪ askbox. ❫#❪ prompts. ❫#pcstilnt #❪ onm. ❫ interactions.#❪ onm & aw. ❫ i used to confide this warmth is only temporary and evanescent until i met you.

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