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#'updated for modern audiences' has become a curse to my ears i swear because it always means the same thing
parf-fan · 6 years
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2018 in-house shows posted!
Once more, no mention on their facebook page or in their emails, but I suppose that’s what I’m here for.  If you go to PARF’s website, you’ll find that the list of in-house shows has at last been updated for this season.  I took the liberty of copy-pasting it all here nonetheless.
King’s Court King Henry and Queen Catherine host the visiting king and queen of France. Never before have so many monarchs gathered upon a Mt. Hope stage! Will the Master of Revels, Sir Walter Roderick Kensington, be up to the task of entertaining four royals? Join them at the Endgame stage, and watch the saga of the Field of Cloth of Gold commence!
(I am so pleased that they specifically mentioned the question of whether Sir Walter will be able to cope with four monarchs.)
Human Chess King Henry and King Francis, in the spirit of friendly competition, have agreed to match wits in a game of Human Chess. All the denizens of Mt. Hope, from lowly peasants to noble knights, will take the board as members of the kings’ armies. But as the ring of steel fills their ears, and the thrill of battle heats their blood, will the contest stay friendly for long?
(I didn’t read the above description, for it undoubtedly contains what would count as spoilers to me.)
Ultimate Joust
As the sun sets upon Bosworth Field, four knights will meet in mounted combat, as a crowd of thousands looks on. Come and cheer for your favorite knight; thrill to the pounding hooves and the clash of steed and steel. Join the royal court and all the villagers of the Shire, in the epic Ultimate Joust that has made Mt. Hope famous.
(I didn’t read the above description, for it undoubtedly contains what would count as spoilers to me.)
Finale in Song
As the festival day draws to a close, the town gathers for a final celebration of song, dance, and laughter. Join King Henry and Queen Catherine, along with King Francis and Queen Claude of France, and the entire town of Mt. Hope, in a village event that reveals the very heart of the Shire.
(I didn’t read the above description, for it undoubtedly contains what would count as spoilers to me.)
Grand MacGuffin Melee Good Master MacGuffin has not had much luck with his establishment. It seems like every new business venture he tries always winds up in a massive brawl. But this time, he has decided to attract a fancier sort of clientele. Come attend the grand opening of MacGuffin’s Gallerie of Fine Arte. With such a high-class aspiration, what could possibly go wrong?
(I’d finished reading this before I registered that it was for a show I consider storyline, and therefore didn’t want spoilers for.  That said, this can only end well.)
Disasterpiece Theatre The Master of Revels, Sir Walter Roderick Kensington, has assembled the shire's best performers (who had nothing else going on at the time) to delight our guests with a masterpiece on the stage. They present a different modern story with a 16th century twist every weekend; and of course when Sir Walter tries to get something done-- anything that can go wrong will go wrong. It will truly be a Disasterpiece!
(As soon as I’d read the title and the fact that the description starts with naming Sir Walter, I was already dying with laughter.  I am so glad that character and his particular style of overwroughtness managed to become so iconic.  This promises to be fantastic.  I predict that they will definitely adapt Mean Girls, if nothing else.  I also vote for an adaptation of Newsies.  Les Mis would be great, but I dunno that that counts as “modern”, and it’s also a little long, ya kno?)
Bloody Best Attend the tale of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, He Who Would be King of Scotland. ‘Tis forty minutes of brutal combat, murder most foul, and disturbingly comic violence. And blood. There will be blood.
(B l o o d y B e s t i s t h e S c o t t i s h P l a y.  Which should be interesting, because the entirety of the grounds count as a theatre, and it’s only safe to name the play if it’s in the script.  So what if someone tries to interact with the performers regarding the contents of Bloody Best after the show is over?  Would improvised interaction be close enough to keep them safe?  Or will it call down the curse if they are forced to utter it in that circumstance?  And if the latter is true, will they then be able to get to the edge of the grounds / the gate into the performer-only area [that is, leave the theatre] in time to be able to perform the ritual to lift the curse?  Most importantly, am I cruel enough to put this to the test?)
The Sirens The pirate crew of the Relentless Contessa is out for blood and gold...on any other normal day, but today, they are taking a break to demonstrate their fierce musicality, daring boldness, and filthy pirate jests!
(THE SIRENS ARE PYRATES THIS TIME AT LAST FINALLY YESYESYES I HAVE BEEN WANTING THIS FOR YEEEEAAAARRRRS!!!) (No Bloody Shame [THE BLOODY SHAME!] though. I’m sad.)
The Rakish Rogues What happens when two French Nobles and two English Nobles are employed by Their Majesties to entertain the masses? They don't know either! Watch these charming nobles sing revelrous songs and regale you with rowdy vulgarities.
(After years of the Rogues being in some of the more lightweight outfits, their day of reckoning has finally come.  Boys, welcome to the excessively  heatstroke-laden life of a noble.)
The Irish Revels The three Eugenia Sisters, proprietors of The Wild Rose Inn, are celebrating the return of their father by reassembling the family band. Join them for rousing Irish folk music and quirky family values.
(THE IRISH REVELS ARE RETURNING THE IRISH REVELS ARE RETURNING THE IRISH REVELS ARE RETUUUURNIIIIINNNNNG!!!!!) (Yo, the MacGuffin Stables and Tavern has competition!)
Friday Knights Come see our Improv Track perform feats of mental, verbal, and physical agility for your entertainment! Presented in 2 acts, the first half is a competition of comedy as 2 teams face off against each other in "Whose Line..." style improv games hoping to earn the laughs and love of our audience judges. Then, after the intermission, both teams come together to perform a completely improvised musical based on the audience's suggestion!
(Quite pleased this is back.  Rest assured I shall actually attend this time.)
Neighborhoods Kings and Queens are great and all, but what do the average citizens of Mount Hope do on a festival day? Seek out these interactive stories that you can get involved in all over the shire to find out! Provide your expert opinion at a Town Hall Meeting; help track and arrest a wanted thief (or help the thief escape!). Get involved in the happenings of Mount Hope and influence the lives of its inhabitants at these scenarios found not on stages, but in the neighborhoods all around the shire.
(So.... literally exactly what it’s always been.  It’s just listed here this time.)
Music with Their Majesties Take a break with Their Majesties, as they demonstrate Their musical merits and host the best of entertainment from the realm.
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Robin Hood You think you know the story of Robin Hood? You've probably never heard it like our Apprentice of Revels and her rag-tag team are going to tell it to you.
(........ Apprentice of Revels?  There’s a Apprentice of Revels now?  Sir Walter has a hecking apprentice this year!  I’m like really really hyped about this character’s existence.  For some reason, my mom is convinced this role is gonna be played by Katie Markey.)
Finale Dumb Show Have you missed every Plot Show during the Faire day? Did you not even know there WAS a plot? Arrive to the Globe Stage 15 minutes before Finale In Song to catch up on what happened in the silliest way possible!
(I am left with a deep-seated happiness over the Dumbshow’s return.  But they wrote it wrong.  I have it from the actors, it is oNE WORD!)
The Legend of One-Eyed Willy The Cabin Boy of the "Relentless Contessa" has been tasked with finding more members for the ship's Pirate Crew. Come join his crew, and witness the tale of the most feared pirate to ever sail the seven seas! Presented by The Mount Hope Players!
(was One-Eyed Willy aboard the original Bloody Shame [THE BLOODY SHAME!]?  That wold be a good reason to fear them.)
King's Cavalry Join the Master of Revels and The Lady Mayor for some literal horse-play on the chessboard directly before our Human Chess match! Bring your nipperkins so that they may join the King's Royal Mounted Cavalry!
(Everybody who, like me, attends King’s Cavalry because they went to Chess early to secure good seats, Y’ALL BETTER FUCKIN’ CLAP AND CHEER FOR THOSE KIDS, I SWEAR!)
King Arthur: The Legend of Murray Everyone knows that King Arthur was the Wizard Merlin's greatest apprentice, but did you know Merlin had another apprentice after Arthur? Come experience the tale of Merlin's OTHER apprentice: Murray!
(I’m gonna have to figure out how to make this fit with the canon of BBC’s Merlin, friggin’ fantastic.)
Is... is there no Tournament Joust this year then, or....
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