#( like joker was born to do everything that arthur wouldn't )

[jokerownsmysoul]

For my whole life I thought that I can write emotional things only when I am inspired, when I am in the right mood and ideas rotate in my mind so quickly that sometimes it's difficult to keep up with my thoughts and I have to move my hand as fast as possible to write everything I'm thinking about and not miss a single word, maybe it's why most of the time I write in my computer because it's easier to throw up all my feelings.

I always thought that when I'm not in the middle of this flow of consciousness it's impossible for me to write beautiful things. That's why I avoid doing it. I would start to doubt my way of writing, my skills and myself. What I write is literally one of the few things that I like about myself, if I wrote when I'm not inspired it would be something that I certainly wouldn't like, then I would begin to doubt myself and everything I can do. I envy all those writers who write every day at any time, they don't seem to be addicted to this mood.

I thought I was, in a certain way. It has always been this way, at least, because now it's different. Since I write fics with Arthur/Joker I started writing even in those ordinary days when I wouldn't never write if it wasn't for him.

I'm starting to like what I write even if I'm not in that flow of consciousness that has always made me addicted to it. Arthur/Joker is teaching me not to press myself, to be less hard on myself. To love with more kindness the most important thing in my life, the thing I was born for and that has always helped me to love myself even in the hardest days, and I couldn't be more grateful to him for such a gift. Now thanks to him I love myself more

#sometimes i ramble i'm sorry #actually i'm very shy and introverted #other times i'm chatty #or both #Arthur fleck #Joker #Joker 2019 #Joaquin phoenix #jokerownsmysoul