#(I know a lot of that is probably just me but like. you know kdlsajdkl)

[feroluce]

I've decided Ingo and Irida can bang once, under sex pollen circumstances, because it would be hilarious.

My ideal is that it's actually only Ingo who gets sex pollened, so poor Ingo is kind of a hot mess and meanwhile Irida is totally fine and normal and just trying to take care of her Warden. Hisui has different values and views than Unova, and Irida just. She does not care. She doesn’t see what the big deal is. She thinks Ingo is the weird one. And I think Ingo would be appalled by his own behavior later and be embarrassed about it and he's cute and funny when he's suffering through his own self-imposed Catholic Guilt akldjlafsjdlka

Ingo has some weird reaction to a pokemon attack or whatever on his way to the main settlement, so he isolates himself in an empty hut reserved for clan members from outside of the icelands. Irida eventually goes to check on him, because this is extremely unusual behavior. Ingo is typically pretty social, and as clan leader, he always goes to her to announce his arrival first thing.

Irida finds him basically in a rut, Ingo has shoved himself into a corner of the bed up against the wall and bundled up under all the blankets, all she sees at first are two silver cat eyes staring out at her. He feels weird, like he's burning up with a fever, and he can't sit still, he keeps shifting around uncomfortably. Irida asks what's up with him and Ingo takes way too long to answer, he keeps trailing off like he can barely think and just staring at her.

Irida finally declares that she knows what's wrong with him, she's seen this before! And if they leave this alone, it'll get way way worse before it gets better, but luckily Irida knows what to do for it! Ingo sags forward with relief because oh, thank goodness, he feels wretched, like the worst flu and just miserably uncomfortable, it's already been a couple hours and he can't take much more of this.

And then he sits back up and nearly keels right over again because WHY ARE YOU STRIPPING?!?!?

Irida: ??? You've seen me bare before, we've been in the hot springs together more than once?

Ingo: BUT THIS ISN'T THE HOT SPRINGS. ///

(Ingo says this facing the wall with his hand over his eyes because he turned around so fast it made him dizzy skzjskskx)

Ingo is very determinedly staring at a spot on the wall and he nearly jumps out of his skin when Irida just casually crawls up onto the bed and sits behind him. Irida tells him he can suffer through it if he really wants to, of course. She doesn't really get why he would, but she's seen people make that decision before. The clan will watch over him until it passes. Ingo asks how long it will last, because he already plans on doing so.

Irida: Days.

Ingo: ...

Irida: Several days, sometimes.

Ingo: ......

Irida: The longest recorded was maybe almost a fortnight?

Ingo: ............

It's only been hours and Ingo is already feeling desperate, and he's going to be like this for days? Possibly over a week? And Irida mentioned it would get worse? Ugh, just kill him.

But then Irida presses up against his back and even through all his clothes and the blankets, Ingo can feel her body and it's weirdly relieving for his current condition, like a heat pack on a sore muscle. Irida tells him he can do that, OR he can just let her help him. No one's ever died of this or anything, but it can get dangerous. Irida wants to help! Ingo is one of hers now. And she doesn't want to risk the life of one of her people.

Ingo doesn't really say anything, but he uncurls a little bit and stops gripping the blankets around him quite so tight, which she takes as a good sign! He has his knees drawn up to his chest, so she has to straddle his feet and lower legs a bit to make it work, but Irida manages to wedge herself between Ingo and the wall so she can at least get him to look at her and give her a straight answer. Ingo tries to start speaking a couple times, but he can't quite seem to string words together, he trails off just like earlier, staring at her like how Irida has seen people stare at the hot springs after being half frozen in the wastes of the icelands.

Irida nods and tells him physical touch is supposed to help, takes the hand that Ingo hadn't even realized he'd reached out, and sets it on her shoulder. She manages to get him to give her his other one, too, and sets it on her waist, and Ingo sighs. It really does help. It's not even that it feels good, it's just that he feels less bad.

Irida presses in closer, happily and proudly rambling poetic about how it must be a blessing of Almighty Sinnoh, that the cure for something so terrible is simply for two bodies to share the same space together so closely they interlock, isn't it nice?

The next morning, Ingo wakes up all groggy, and just kinda lays there blinking at the ceiling for several minutes until he realizes he hears someone else in the hut with him. So he rolls over and almost immediately has a fucking heart attack because there's Irida, still naked, kneeling in front of the fire and poking at with a stick trying to get it going again.

Ingo finally croaks out a quiet little please help me and Irida pats his arm and tells him of course she will. He's her Warden, he can lean on her when he needs to. 💕

She has bruises! And handprints! And oh god, did he seriously leave those bite marks on her?! NOOOOOO-

He behaved as though a depraved animal! A beast!! He shouldn't even be allowed near people anymore!!

Ingo is facing the corner, moping and red-faced and dealing with his Catholic Guilt, and meanwhile Irida is trying to decide what she wants for breakfast VSKDKXJKSKXKX

===========================

(About three weeks later, just when he's almost able to look her in the eye again, Ingo goes to Irida to report on some happening in the highlands. Irida pats him and tells him good boy. Ingo lights up and all but purrs for a second before his brain catches up like WAIT WHAT, NO.

Irida: Oh. Is that not ok? You liked being called that that one time.

Ingo, steaming red face in his hands: MY LADY, PLEASE.)

((Gaeric is unfortunately within earshot when this happens, and he laughs so hard he wheezes, and then when he and Irida depart, he slaps Ingo on the back so hard he stands straight for a few minutes afterwards ndodjwkskmdkx))

#nobokai #pla ingo #pla irida #pokemon legends ingo #pokemon legends irida #Ingo's Catholic Guilt vs Irida being dense as a brick FIGHT #they're such an amazing combination for stupidity I love them so much #(I know a lot of that is probably just me but like. you know kdlsajdkl) #nearly faceplanted into my steering wheel thinking about this afterwards but like #I love the thought of Hisui also not sharing Unova's weird ickiness around virginity and the concept of it #anyway Irida just casually saying over breakfast that oh so that's what sex is like she guesses she can see why so many people seem into it #and Ingo having a crisis while choking on his food because OH GOD HE TOOK HER FIRST TIME TOO NOOOOOOOO JFKDLSAJFKLDASJDFKLJAD #ingirida #submas #ingo #warden ingo #irida #suggestive