#* 𝐢𝐢. answered. ↷ this prophecy is how they enslave us.
@feargrown said: ❝ you’re always like this when you’re worried. disagreeable. ❞ from leksa
❝ DO NOT READ ME THEN, ❞ she had ventured deep into the desert, past sietch tabr, towards her only other place of solace. here they did not wail for the mahdi, there was no religion save old fremen ways and the sayyadina who kept them. it's simpler days, crysknife in hand, paper thin muddy brown fabric whispering of the skin of her back. she had stripped of her stillsuit, of the memories that followed here, sand rinsed them at the entrance and left sihaya to the damned penitent. suddenly the hunger for chukka placed before her fizzled out, spice settled against the back of her throat and she gulped around it. into it. ❝ i did not come here to be picked apart. ❞ childhood sprung up around them, she sheltered it where everything else remained, with all dead things.
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@ruingod said: ❝ you don’t understand. i need you safe. not because i don’t think you can handle yourself but because i can’t focus on anything else if there’s even the smallest possibility you’re in danger. ❞
THE SKIN BETWEEN CHANI'S BROWS FURROWS, was there not much the padishah emperor had to worry about? the holy war in his father's name, houses that came to challenge his rule, and lastly his lovely bride. as pale as ivory stone, perfectly groomed to stand by muad'dib's side, to be mother to the new empire. nevermind that arrakis belonged to fremen, to her own people, not off worlders. what was to become of their ways now? ❝ my safety is no longer your concern. ❞ she had searched his eyes out in that crowded room, wandered through the blue within blue, and when the veneer fell away so did her heart. he is usul and he is not. the boy who cared for nothing save equal footing between them didn't exist, he was messiah born. the taste of a single tear still on his lips.
❝ i grew up here, i know every inch of arrakis. if i do not wish to be found then i won't be. ❞ yet paul had, his prescience provided more knowing than chani was comfortable with, it meant that she took him with her everywhere. the echo of him within her own water would never fade. it beat loudly, a frantic tattoo against the inside of her stillsuit. she wants to disappear again. be forgotten entirely. bury sihaya and the myth of her where their love had floundered and died. could he not give her that? ❝ so take your legion and let me do so. ❞
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@astraldestiny said: ❛ i thought you’d like some company. ❜ from paul
EYES SOFTEN AT CORNERS, all around them stilltents are being pitched to welcome in the night. they meander about, a hub of gentle whispers, some prayers that get lost in the breeze. no doubt stilgar leads them, he spends most of his days that way. hers is already done. so she sits on a dune away from the rest, watching the sun take its path across the sky. soon it will disappear bathing them in the moonlight from the double moons orbiting the planet. this is her favorite time of the day when the beauty of arrakis is most over looked. to outsiders it was a wasteland of miserable heat, to the fremen it was precious. he is not an outsider anymore. ❝ i will always welcome your company, usul. ❞
she's tested the shape of his name in her mouth several times, paul doesn't fit there just right, neither does muad'dib. usul rolled around her gums, left a sweetness she had not once imbibed of, so chani keeps it in her teeth. unhooks them into a smile, they poke out more often with him around. ❝ sit. ❞
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@rejectory said: [ NURSE ] for chani to tend to paul while he's recovering from injuries.
THE DOOR TO THE EMPERORS CHAMBERS REMAIN FIRMLY SHUT — just beyond them a healer whose tongue had finally loosened enough giving minute detail to one. if there is satisfaction for the taking chani cherishes nothing, denial was a bitter pill to swallow. the air is heavy with spice, the concoction made to lessen pain discarded by his bedside, she hisses into a bowl of wrist deep wasted water. how much had usul given? who had taken without permission? the unanswered question draws a palm to press against his cheek, he asks for you sihaya, and the asking had turned to restlessness. ❝ you must rest, usul. ❞ her voice tastes like caution and arrakeen has been made aware their mahdi heeds but one. she, desert spring, spice blue eyes ever keen. ❝ how can one heal if they do not abide such a simple rule? ❞ there is fresh cloth meant to bind his wounds, and she picks it up, her hands white knuckle tight ringing liquid free. ❝ lay back. ❞
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@caracarnn said: a good fight is never clean.
ARRAKIS CUT AWAY AT THE SOFT UNDERBELLY OF THINGS resulting in iron will and indomitable spirit. where off-worlders saw arid desolation? the fremen knew nothing but beauty in the sprawling dunes and towering rock faces. sietches were carved into them, hollowed out for the preservation of her people. ❝ fremen do not understand the water soft way of clean. ❞ with weapons carved from the tooth of shai-hulud, milky white and faintly gleaming, sihaya had yet to find another blade to match its sharpness. ❝ neither can we ascribe to being wasteful, death's should be quick. ❞ so that much can be given back to the tribe, replenishing their sacred wells and honoring their maker. there is a reason they keep prayers on the tongue. she imagines he'll understand that where others have failed to.
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@ruingod said: ❝ I don’t like the way they’re looking at you. ❞
YOU'LL FIND NO ABSOLUTION IN SIHAYA'S SMILE, cheeks cracking from forced upright politeness. she's so ladylike in stillness — a pretty ornamental trinket freshly polished to gleaming perfection. its revolting. teeth blunted nails find bared skin of his forearm chisel a space in half-moons that won't leave anything but superficial embeds. still they're closely observed, fedaykin form rank in palace pets, mahdi's zealous believers. a disapproving cluck of her tongue and the atmosphere shifts, sand beneath feet quivering with slightest misstep. she's tread treacherous terrain before, how could house politics compare? ❝ was this not your doing, usul? ❞ more eyes find them, wide ' n ' wondering, even off worlders know sihaya hold's the emperors moods in her fist. a careful clutch, lengthy fingers widening their spread to encompass the scowl on his face. she does not cave to excess, to the bright glittering jewels that adorn the empresses head. the flesh tones of fremen represent those that had made this planet home. long before harkonnen invasion and atreides rule. ❝ ...and the reverend mothers. ❞ the glistening of her flesh is jessica, the fabric that clung to her wiry shoulders and the graceful slope of her spine was also. concubines were well presented, she bore her teeth to be reminded of that.
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@feyras said: “This was my choice.” ( from paul ! )
❝ THEN YOU MUST LIVE WITH IT. ❞ sihaya speaks, not chani, the woman born atop shai-hulud's back ( maker hooks firmly grasped in each hand ) falters. gives beneath the weight of a hundred would be's. she is a spring with which he dips into, sweeter than the single tear drop she'd once shed, sometimes usul is careful. reaching for her as if only she could gradually fill him up. today? he wades in mindlessly, and she buries the parts of herself that offer nothing but dull ache, does he come to her as mystic or man? can one still be humbled by another? so many questions yet no answers. he had asked plenty himself. to be her equal. sihaya will not beg for the same. it must be given freely or not taken at all.
she will not acquiesce nor bend her knee like the militant masses, she will not shout his name as a prayer. she will form the letters with tenderness, feel them fade on the back of her tongue and watch the light come into the blue of them. they had came to her soft, hungry, waiting. she had found the knowledge in them and his desire to learn and it had been all she needed to know of what was now the padishah emperor. wobbly breath expels and she straightens, hands clasped in front of her. ❝ what else would you have me say, usul? i do not believe there is any more i can give. ❞
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@rejectory said: ❝ this is not about me. ❞ paul
NO, IT'S ABOUT LETO ATREIDES, and so this path he remains on shall never change its trajectory. he has left her completely ... with only memories of who she gave herself to, for that there is no forgiveness chani offers. just sadness. ❝ it is all about you, about your family ᅳ ❞ about a religion that had taken root in the heart of fremen in the shape of paul's face. lisan al gaib, they shout, whimper and moan. kneeling before their messiah with all the reverence she could never feel. the mahdi of messianic legend, and she was made part of it! sihaya, whose desert tears brought him back to life, kill the boy and let a god be born. all she had wanted was usul, her strength, not some voice from the outer world. who was he to be to her now? who was she to him? ❝ i told you that if you remained who you were i would stay by your side. i don't know you any more. ❞
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@rejectory said: "come a little closer." paul
A TAP OF HER FOOT AGAINST HIS CALF ᅳ usul is so easily distracted, favoring speaking above the willowy arch of her shoulder than to sit still beside her. as careful as the name he chose for himself, muad'dib, the native inhabitant of arrakis. she had chased it as a child, caught it carefully in the palm of her hands to map its large ears with her fingers until day had gave way to night. now she has him. and she would not call him anything but her strength. ❝ do you not have patience, usul? ❞ he will scoot her way should she hesitate, so instead chani leans into him, wraps her gloved hand around his own and points. towards the spice that rolls over the top of the sand, the sun is low in the sky, and it's as beautiful as the first time she showed him. she would do it a hundred times more if only watch his eyes brighten when he noticed.
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@diralupus said: ❛ the little one is quite active today. ❜
THE STILL TRANQUIL ATMOSPHERE SHIFTS, she is restless once more, uncomfortable in this position — skin stretched tight over a swollen belly, crowded. there's nowhere to go, no room to unfurl that doesn't press against organs. her bladder takes the brunt, a usual occurrence, and all her gentle guidance only gives back precious seconds. it's not a day for staying still, those hard kicks were life affirming, he'll be strong. pride swells in the epicenter of her, fingers catching over the thin fabric of her dress to glide across the peak of her abdomen. ❝ not there . . . ❞ a name forms, something that sounds like an unspoken promise, chani swallows it back. lets it sit where sons did. safe, still growing. ❝ -my left side, ❞ gathers his hand, shifts and releases, with little prompting he'll move. this world should know whose going to greet it, she speaks it into the earth, affirmation. ❝ move your fingers and you'll get a hello. ❞
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@corr1no said: ❛ i was in tact, that’s a fact, until you struck my nerve. ❜
THEY COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING OTHER . . . not set against this stone path muad'dib barrelled down, tongue-tied with the heady burn of cinnamon, it's all around them melange heavy air collecting in nostrils. she takes in greater quantities, feels the sloshing of it in her belly like a slow fire, and prays to the maker for an end to her own inadequacy. sihaya's arms remain empty, closing around nothing, and the more they reach for their beloved the more the ache grew. he was never really here, solidified into the present, true peace evaded them. had she more kindness to give irulan would be spared a little, she pawn, a key shoved into a lock that remained open — no fiddling required, the messiah sits a throne. and though his empress is beside him there's no arguing her place is shifty, unstable . . . those ever hungry eyes go unseen. only one woman mattered. and the spring in her never dried up, she was arrakeen's heart. and paul was arrakeen. ❝ the way things are will not change, expose your weakness less and there'd be no place to strike. ❞ the dismissal pecks at her teeth insistently, a warning. a promise.
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@feargrown said: 💋 aka: kisses for jace.
THE PRINCE TASTES OF MELANGE, lingering cinnamon on tongue dipped into mouths corner — the pad of her thumb had pressed there, fascinated by dimples highlighted by his lazy smile. it takes some getting used to, that heady almost disembodied feeling once spice hit the system, warming the belly and loosening limbs. one by one until you're an unspooled nervous system gliding across floor. she drinks in his sigh, stills beneath the clenching of fingers against hipbones, his longing has been made known. he sucks it up in gasping breaths against the nape of her neck — fingers curls there till a shiver races from her spine to his own. chani presses forward, just enough, feels that tipping point and braces them against it. if he wants more he'll need to say it, the curve of her tongue traces his bottom lip ( teeth following till flesh plumps and she's damn sure he'll shudder next. ) she waits for it, thighs spread open around his lap where she now sits.
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@ruingod said: ❛ good god, let me give you my life. ❜
HAS MUAD'DIB COME OFFERING IN HAND? she winds prayers through his parted mouth, plucks them free one by one, and sighs. do gods not require sacrifice? was sihaya not his mausoleum? it is water he's starved for her to see, to claim for keeping in a chasm of her own indulgent pleasure. palm pressed to the base of his throat there is yield in her own rageful stubbornness, the dig of her fingertips could rip open their messiah. how they would weep to see their deliverer so undone by a single lingering touch. ❝ you would let me take it... ❞ there lacks the curiosity of wondering in her lovely voice, this isn't a question. she presses that to the bow of his lips instead, thumb skimming along till she has traversed the path from one end to another. ❝ what a waste, usul. ❞ he leads the way, does he not? for fremen, for others, for his corrino bride whose bed still remained blessedly cold. ❝ give it to me in other ways and i will always be yours. ❞ a promise slick on her tongue, he can drink it up if he likes, slake his thirst as her own for him refuses to lessen.
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@ruingod said: ❛ hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you. ❜
MUCH CAN STILL BE LEARNED ABOUT OFF-WORLDERS, a truth universally known remains the same: to take what doesn't belong to you is sin. usul's has been given to another, sealed in a covenant — sihaya mustn't give credence to her own. ❝ move to another stilltent, ❞ only a fool ventures this far into the dunes of arrakis without proper equipment — beneath her tutelage the shedding of boyhood had become easier. and he was certainly no fool. the calculation was obvious, she measures the warmth of him in close proximity, wonders if the intimacy of it burdens usul in more than just mere words, she labors over her own wanting with a tilt of her chin towards the sandy colored entrance. ❝ stilgar will not deny you. ❞ what an honor to share precious space with his prophet, no? the humidity dampens the skin of his upper lip and she imagines herself sucking it free, fremen do not waste water, the moisture she could draw from him would fill the heart in the belly of her. it is unfair. ❝ but do not make this harder for me, usul. ❞ spice ran heavy on the tongue and with a single press of it to his own, there'd be no end to how they'd swallow each other whole.
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@feargrown said: have to be seen to be believed. fROM PAUL.
THIS WRETCHED ACCURSED ORGAN SLAMMING against a cage crafted from bleached white bone stutters and with it chani's quiet nursing of old wounds ends. she's never known a wail to hollow out her throat, but it catches, sounds like the prayers she gives to the maker. how dare he think to disturb the peace of her yali, to take his killing words and fighters from arrakeen to the sietch. what more could ��muad'dib want? is there nothing he won't snatch away for his water rich paradise? a palm sweeps over her belly, with each moon that passes the swelling fills her hips to bursting, she has something to hold in both hands, something she refuses him claim over. long may it stay that way, till her water returns to the tribe, till the maker cleanses the way for her son. ❝ there's nothing here to be seen, muad'dib. take your out-freyn and leave, back to your wife and throne. ❞
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@impercre said: ❝ i fear i make you uneasy. ❞ -Leto II
MUCH HAD. BEFORE LETO. BEFORE GHANIMA. WHEN THERE WAS JUST ARRAKIS. when shifting an ancient way of thinking and thrusting it outward for the taking had felt much like spilling water across wind swept sand. but prescience does not belong to usul alone, no bene gesserit trained child could shake the foundation of sihaya's own youth. why else would fremen have sayyadina's? and their reverend mothers did they exist for no reason at all? ❝ i am your mother, ❞ the reminder is soft, gets lost in space between them where one half of her heart stands in shape of a boy. he is hers, formed in the womb, and though no one could have foresaw twins it makes leto no less vital to her existence. ❝ it is not unease, it's worry born from love. never forget that. ❞
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