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thisisevenharderthannamingablog · 7 years

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6.21/22 The Final Battle

Well, here we are. I can’t title this “the final write-up” because I still have to go back and finish six episodes in S2, but we’re certainly getting close.

My feelings about this show are large and complicated. My feelings about this finale are of overwhelming disappointment. Read on for large quantities of salt, like we’re talking “Visitors Guide to Hallstatt” here, maybe put on a helmet.

In the Enchanted Forest: Some but not all of the Storybrooke residents are returned to the Enchanted Forest castle, while others remain in the LWM. (???) They can watch events in Storybrooke through a mirror. Zelena arrives from Oz via magic hat (???) to let them know that there is another problem: the realms are disappearing. Additional refugees arrive, including Aladdin and Jasmine.

Regina is determined to find a magical solution, and poofs everyone to her own castle. Hook is just as determined not to wait on her efforts, and sneaks off on his own. Charming follows him to the beanstalk, which he plans to climb in order to look for a magic bean to get back to Emma. They essay the quest together, find a bean, and exit pursued by a random dragon (???).

Meanwhile, the other Regina shows up back at the castle, having abandoned the Wish World with Robin due to her being wanted for regicide there, and joins the effort.

In the other world, Emma burns the book. As the Enchanted Forest comes apart, the beanstalk sways. Hook falls off, and Charming rides the falling stalk down to the ground. Snow realizes that her husband is missing. She and Jasmine go to find him. They find Hook (unhurt somehow), and Snow stays to look for Charming while the other two take the bean back to the castle. She finds him, thinks he’s dead, and kisses him, which wakes him up somehow IDK.

The bean has already begun to wither, and Regina’s magic is insufficiently speedy to revive it in time to use it (??). Her evil half buys them time (??), sacrificing herself to hold back the oncoming destruction. Everyone else takes cover in the castle.

The erosion of the realms stops when there is only a small patch of Enchanted Forest remaining.

In the LWM:: Henry wakes up on the rooftop alone, and quickly finds that Storybrooke has been re-cursed. Fiona is his mother (???) , and Emma has been in an asylum for the past two years, ever since Henry ate that apple tart and poisoned himself in an effort to prove that magic was real. Neither the storybook nor the symbols that he wrote while in an Author trance are convincing. Fiona shows up to reinforce the fake reality in which they dwell and attempt to convince Emma to destroy the storybook as a final act of healing.

Fiona pays a visit to the pawnshop to visit Gold and Gideon and make sure their new story is in place -- that Belle ran off and abandoned them, and Fiona looks after them as best she can.

Meanwhile, Henry breaks Emma out, hoping to jog her memories with a trip to the site of her recent wedding. She does have flashes, but considers this part of her ongoing problem with reality. Henry determines to steal Emma’s car keys so they can leave town, but Fiona catches him and pushes down some stairs, breaking his arm. She uses this incident to convince Emma that the storybook needs to go, for Henry’s sake.

The worlds’ disintegration accelerates as the book burns.

Rumple asks Fiona to “reopen the investigation into Belle’s disappearance.” She offers him some hilariously bad Photoshops of Belle off seeing the world, blissfully alone.

Emma leaves for Boston (where, in the single least likely occurrence of the entire episode, her apartment is still there -- it’s not even dusty). She finds a version of the storybook that Henry made for her (when did he do that?).

Henry goes to Gold, who admits that he still has his memories because he did not entirely trust his mother, but also that he has no interest in being helpful; he just wants to find Belle. Henry borrows a mirror and a sword and goes down to the beach. He announces to anyone who might be watching via mirror that he’s going to fight the Black Fairy himself.

He’s all ready to do so when Emma shows up -- she came back! Even though she doesn’t remember anything, she read his story and she believes him.

Rumple concocts a potion and locates Belle, only to find that she’s agoraphobic in her new, cursed life. Fiona comes to the shop looking for her wand and reminds us that she has Gideon’s heart and can command him, because that will be important later. She uses the wand to translate the symbols Henry wrote in his trance, which are about the Final Battle. Rumple returns and confronts his mother, who promises to lift the curse from Belle and Gideon just a soon as she’s done with this fight.

Oh, and she’ll also have ultimate power by then, could even bring people back to life, if that was a thing he was interested in. He could have everything! But, no deal. He takes the wand. Fiona has one last trick, however; it’s still Gideon who’s going to kill Emma, carrying out Fiona’s final command to his heart, because “Darkness can’t snuff out the Light… only light can snuff out light.”

(What the everloving fuck? This plus that final line in the storybook is why it took my poor li’l English major ass a solid month to get around to rewatching this thematic dumpster fire.)

Anyway, Rumple goes ahead and kills her, with 20 minutes left to go in the episode.

(Wait, I thought killing people -- even bad people! -- was supposed to be BAD. Wasn’t that like half of S4.)

But this time it’s okay, I guess, because the curse breaks, and everyone gets their memories back. (So Snow and Charming could have just killed Regina’s no-magic ass in their flashback a few episodes ago and broken the curse themselves instead of letting Emma go through hell to save them. Good to know.) Everyone comes back from the Enchanted Forest as the sun sets. Gideon finds his sword, and Emma.

Belle finds Rumple, and on Henry’s direction, the two of them head to the mines in search of Gideon’s heart while Emma locks Gideon in the mayor’s office. Belle - and I can’t believe I am going to fucking type these words, give me a second - TWISTS HER ANKLE AND CAN’T GO ON because it’s not like her husband is the FUCKING DARK ONE AND COULD HEAL HER IN LESS TIME THAN IT TOOK TO TELL HIM TO GO ON WITHOUT HER.

But oh no, they had to give Rumple a tete a tete with his Enchanted Forest self telling him to just give it up, let the Final Battle go on, take all the power for himself teehee! This could have been a neat moment if it had been, oh, I dunno, built up in any way at all in the entire preceding season instead of just flung at us out of nowhere. Rumple decides to do the Right Thing, but his attempt to command Gideon to stop has no effect, because of… something the Black Fairy did, apparently.

Meanwhile up above, Gideon finds them again (natch). Regina gives a Hope Speech™. Emma fights Gideon but refuses to kill him, so he stabs her. There’s a lot of light. Emma appears to be dead until Henry kisses her.

For reasons I don’t understand at all, Gideon becomes an infant again. The storybook is finished. The Enchanted Forest is back where it was - Evil Queen included, and it looks like she and Robin are expecting. Snow and Charming get a farmhouse and a dog. Emma and Hook drive off in the bug to fight crime together. Regina gets to be queen of Storybrooke. Everyone gathers at Granny’s for a weird-ass homage to Da Vinci’s Last Supper.

(I have blocked every gifset that includes that scene that crosses my dash, because what the actual fuck.)

In sum, happy beginnings all around.

Also: In some wrapper scenes after an unspecified time jump, we meet a plucky young girl named Lucy and her fairy godmother, Tiger Lily. Lucy has a storybook and a sword and says she’s Henry’s daughter. Henry (now an adult and living in Seattle in our fade-out) has no memory of her. A grave new threat has overcome the Enchanted Forest and their family.

I didn’t pay much attention to these, as I am not planning to watch the season.

Parallels: This episode consisted of (depressingly) little else but direct callbacks to other episodes -- which is not nearly as effective as parallelism, unfortunately.

Fiona = Regina, obviously

The now-magicless Zelena travels by magic hat (1.17); apparently in his years off-screen, Jefferson made a new one

Emma’s pullup scene is a reference to Terminator 2 (another sequel, see earlier this season)

Operation Cuckoo’s Nest is a twofer, as the entire “operation” business is now several layers deep in self-reference. Unfortunately.

Killian and Charming climb the beanstalk from 2.06

Her Handsome Hero makes an appearance in 6.21 and then again in 6.22, when Rumple uses it to find Belle.

Fiona giving Belle an agoraphobic personality is reasonably close to Regina having locked her up

Snow kissing Charming awake was a callback to, well, rather a lot of their scenes since the S6 curse.

Fiona’s final plan as she explained it to Rumple - no more laws of magic, bringing people back to life, making them love - was lifted wholly from the OUaTiW spinoff, where it made a hell of a lot more sense.

We got one last reference to the price of magic, although it’s hard to see any rhyme or reason to how that’s applied these days.

Henry kissing Emma reverses the S1 finale.

Six seasons’ worth of material, magic items, and emotion to draw from, and this random grab-bag is what they came up with.

On a cheerier note, Lucy means “light” which I feel is appropriate for Snow White’s great-granddaughter and the granddaughter of a Savior.

Wardrobe Department:

There was nothing new or interesting here.

In Hindsight: The villains on this show have gone steadily downhill in capability for the past few years. Regina enjoyed most of a decade as the tyrant of the Enchanted Forest, and 28 more years with Storybrooke in her iron grip before Emma broke the curse for which Regina had murdered her own father.

Rumple was the Dark One, holder of unmatched power, for centuries, came thisclose to living forever in a world specially designed for his happiness (S4).

Pan had absolute power in Neverland for centuries. Cora held sway in Wonderland for years, and got the better of Rumplestiltskin once (very nearly twice). Zelena ruled Oz for something like forty years, if my timeline is anywhere near correct.

Fiona lost her wand ten seconds after turning evil, and was defeated by a fairy who regularly gets herself nearly-dead and doesn’t even show up in the town’s magical ranking these days. She was imprisoned for centuries, sulking and plotting in the Dark Realm, before she made it to Storybrooke, where she spent a week romping around, finally cast her curse, her great work of villainy -- and it got broken and she got killed THE NEXT DAY.

What a loser.

I did a rare thing for me and asked Adam on Twitter what was up with this episode, given that most of it was clearly written for Regina, not the Black Fairy. I did not get an answer, and I suppose we’ll never know what caused this change in direction -- maybe it was as simple as the fact that JMo was leaving and Lana was staying next season, and they didn’t want to end the show. It seems inarguable to me, however, that this change was made, because absolutely nothing about Fiona’s actions makes sense in light of her character.

Fiona’s Dark Curse was (retconned to have been) intended to protect her son (Rumple) by taking all of the Enchanted Forest children to the Land Without Magic. Her later actions were fixated on Gideon as substitute for Rumple. The Dark Curse as enacted in the finale didn’t appear to have anything in particular to do with Rumple or with Gideon. They were both supposed to be cursed and oblivious, so how would that have been a happy ending for Fiona? Was she going to spend eternity watching their family from outside? Storybrooke under her curse had plenty of magic, too, ignoring what was supposed to have been the entire original point.

The new Dark Curse did end up having a lot to do with Emma, with whom Fiona had no relationship at all beyond the inescapably lame “you’re a Savior so I have to kill you” thing. It separated her from her family and drove a new wedge between her and Henry. Fiona had no reason at all to be interested in Henry -- but in this new world she adopted him? -- or in any of Emma’s family for their own sake -- but she made sure to send specifically them away, and no one else? She has literally never interacted with any of these characters, and it makes no sense that she would care about their whereabouts.

(And why for the love of Pete was Henry immune to the curse? I don’t think they ever addressed that. He wasn’t under the first one because he was brought to town later on, but there’s no obvious reason why he should have kept his real memories this time around.)

(While I’m at it, how in hell did she still have Gideon’s heart? She and Rumple were supposed to have been allies as of a couple episodes ago; there’s no way he would have made any deal without securing that.)

None of what Fiona did makes sense for the Black Fairy, but it would have been very much in keeping with Regina’s past actions. (Yes, even down to harming Henry. This is a woman who killed the thing she loved the most.) Even Fiona’s costuming was identical to Regina’s look in S1.

I’m too irritated by it to even really discuss Regina and Rumple’s ending for this season. Suffice to say that they got everything they ever wanted -- twice over in Regina’s case -- and I will never stop being bitter about it. What was even going on with Rumple here? Is being the Dark One irrelevant now? Because if he’s been 100% able to make good decisions this entire time, curse or no curse, and just couldn’t be arsed until this very moment, that blows up another enormous piece of show mythology.

Moving on before my blood pressure kills me.

In my opinion, most of this finale’s mess comes from chickening out with Regina. The rest of it falls out as a consequence of that decision. Having slotted the Black Fairy in for her at the last moment, having decided to make this a metaphorical battle and not a literal one, they had the problem of what do with all of the other characters. I suspect the decision went like “leaving them in Storybrooke would mean re-establishing their cursed identities for viewers who haven’t seen them in five seasons, and it would mean creating all new curse identities for some of them, so let’s just send them off to the EF and, um, they can do absolutely nothing useful there.” The Captain Charming scene was cute as far as it went, but it was also useless, and that dialog was flat-out terrible.

That entire half of the finale was pointless. Literally nothing was accomplished there that had any effect. In order to make all that nothing look like a very urgent something, the writers came up with this “Emma’s lack of belief will destroy all the lands” hack at what was obviously the last possible moment, and I say that because it is in DIRECT CONTRADICTION of the ENTIRE PREMISE OF THE SHOW.

We literally spent all of S1 and onward having it explained that what we think of as stories have objective existence in other worlds, that these people and these realms are real, with their own long and complicated history independent of our own; we only know of them because of the storybooks. Now all of the sudden they only exist if one particular person believes in them? What about the first 28 years of Emma’s life, when she didn’t believe in anything? What about the worlds she’s never been to, never interacted with? Stuff that happened before she was born? The history of the Authors, Mr Disney included? All of those other storybooks from the last hack job of a season finale?

The idea that the final battle is an internal one is fine in itself, but then what makes it final? Why was the Black Fairy involved at all? Why has it been six years and we’re still talking about whether Emma Swan believes in magic? Shouldn’t the “final” battle revolve around everything that has happened to her SINCE that moment, not take us back to just before it happened? What narrative purpose does isolating her from everyone except Henry - again! - serve?

It wasn’t even really a battle; the curse didn’t capitalize on any weakness in Emma’s character. We just rewound the tape to the S1 finale so she could make the exact same decision she made then -- to leave -- and then convince herself to come back sans apple tart-induced trauma? Was that supposed to be the big pivotal thing, that she came back on her own? Because that was pretty fucking drastically underplayed, and also pretty far from definitive. Emma could get her memories wiped tomorrow (and given this show, probably will), and we’d do the same thing all over again. The fact that they didn’t even feel a need to show her moment of deciding to act on screen says everything, I think.

And then we have the concluding fight, which defies explanation. One thing this show has generally done a good job with is parallelism, but here of all places it fell flat. Everything about the “climax” felt perfunctory at best. They introduced the vision of the fight with Gideon in 6.01, therefore they had to revisit it in the finale, even if it made no particular sense to do so (nothing about Gideon has made sense). This fight happened because a dead character who had no established reason for doing anything she did gave a pointless character an order that didn’t make any sense in the first place; Emma had to “die” purely because the writers said she would six months ago. As an action and as a scene, it accomplished nothing.

Having previously established that the sword was a real sword that would cut people, they hand-waved that and gave it a magical effect instead, allowing Emma to be struck down and then wakened by TLK. The TLK with Henry at the end of S1 was one of the most hard-fought-for scenes I have personally ever seen in any medium, with an entire season of loving development leading up to it; this one felt like a distant echo through a mile of aluminum ducting. Henry has barely even been in this season, hasn’t had a good episode for his character since 6.08. His relationship with Emma in particular has been on the back burner since “The Other Shoe.” The two of them didn’t even get a good spotlight in this episode what with all of the side action in the Enchanted Forest and with Rumple and so on. That kiss didn’t bring anything new to the story.

And so here we are, if not at the end of the story, at least at the end of a significant chapter.

Adam and Eddy wrote some of my all-time favorite episodes of this show, back in the day. At this point, I have to say that while they might make solid staff writers, they have no business running a show. They don’t care about consistency from one season or sometimes even one episode to the next, their creative toolbox appears limited in scope, their writing is self-indulgent, and they’re apparently not willing to follow through -- of their own accord -- on events that should have significant in-character consequences. The result is a finale that very nearly systematically trashes every piece of moral and magical world-building that was still standing after six seasons -- and which I feel comfortably certain will be ignored when the show goes into S7.

All of that said, I do want to end this on a positive note. I have over the past few years very much enjoyed the story of Emma Swan, the ugly duckling who thought she would never have a family, the lost princess who gave up on love, the hardass with her box of sentimental treasures -- the mother, daughter, sheriff, swordswoman, sorceress, leader, lover, and all of the other jackets she’s worn across the years, leather and otherwise, in the end a fully realized woman with a whole heart and a happy future ahead of her. That’s a story I will never get tired of, and for that I offer my gratitude.

To all of you reading this, I would like to say thank you as well, for the many hours of diverting conversation, for the moving and hilarious commentary, and for the friendships that have grown up from this unexpected ground. May your supplies of fic never run dry.

#b thinks about once upon a time #ouat #ouat 6x21 #ouat 6x22

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