#...are hell). im lucky. i know that. yet. sometimes the pain hits harder than the delights. i want to be happy for people on HRT. for...

[autism-corner]

despite loving being trans i always do long to having boy teenage years/upbringing. But. im also autistic. i think that even if i was AMAB i wouldnt have gotten that classic boy life. that realization both deepens the grief yet relieves the feeling because i know that that wouldnt have been me anyway.

#its weird longing for something that others can get so easily. so naturally. wanting something they dont even think about. #its not meant for me. #in all of my teenage life i get half a year of that living as a guy. and only at school. i have to make do. #its hard looking at people younger than me that are already on HRT or have even had surgeries. the world seems so unfair because im not at. #... that point yet. but i know that i have to be gratefull aswell. some people discover theyre trans way later than i did. i imagine that.. #... aswell long for what i have. knowing im trans at 16 and living in a country with fairly good trans care (although the waiting lists... #...are hell). im lucky. i know that. yet. sometimes the pain hits harder than the delights. i want to be happy for people on HRT. for... #... people that easily pass. but they remind me of everything i dont have yet. #i need to remember that deep down were all the same. i dont have it the best nor is my situation the worst. its just something thats... #... unfortunately a huge part of my life. #anyway. rant done. im excited to be an out trans guy in uni. #i need to stop thinking help. #its not bringing anything good rn :/ #YAY transgenderism 6=w=9 #sillyposting