#i need to stop thinking help.

[autism-corner]

despite loving being trans i always do long to having boy teenage years/upbringing. But. im also autistic. i think that even if i was AMAB i wouldnt have gotten that classic boy life. that realization both deepens the grief yet relieves the feeling because i know that that wouldnt have been me anyway.

#its weird longing for something that others can get so easily. so naturally. wanting something they dont even think about. #its not meant for me. #in all of my teenage life i get half a year of that living as a guy. and only at school. i have to make do. #its hard looking at people younger than me that are already on HRT or have even had surgeries. the world seems so unfair because im not at. #... that point yet. but i know that i have to be gratefull aswell. some people discover theyre trans way later than i did. i imagine that.. #... aswell long for what i have. knowing im trans at 16 and living in a country with fairly good trans care (although the waiting lists... #...are hell). im lucky. i know that. yet. sometimes the pain hits harder than the delights. i want to be happy for people on HRT. for... #... people that easily pass. but they remind me of everything i dont have yet. #i need to remember that deep down were all the same. i dont have it the best nor is my situation the worst. its just something thats... #... unfortunately a huge part of my life. #anyway. rant done. im excited to be an out trans guy in uni. #i need to stop thinking help. #its not bringing anything good rn :/ #YAY transgenderism 6=w=9 #sillyposting

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

#ra speaks #it’s a silly joke/pun dw #we stay silly :3 #edit: #woahg. that’s a lot of notes. hi everybody o/ #10k. stop clenching your jaw and drink some water. #15k. eat some fresh fruit this week! I’m having kiwis tonight :] #20k. quit sitting like a shrimp it’s bad for your neck! sit up straight and do a little stretch every now and then #25k. I’m up at 2 AM but I’ll get to see the sunrise today :] if you can’t see that I hope you admire the sunset later today #30k. do something fun you haven’t done in a while. I haven’t drawn in months - I think I’ll paint a cat tomorrow :3 #40k. I just slept 9 hours straight for the first time in weeks :] remember to ask for help when you need it! no glory in senseless suffering

[captainjonnitkessler]

You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.

#there is not a third option. it is either trump OR biden #and one of those will be much MUCH worse for palestine #i'm really really sorry that these are the options. i wish they weren't. #but WHAT third option are you trying to take here? what on earth is your proposed outcome #that will actually make things better for palestine? #because letting trump win the election is NOT going to help them #i'm sorry but you need to set aside your feelings and take the option that will lead to less harm to palestine in the long run #you talk such a big game about how people need to be willing to make sacrifices to help palestine #but you yourself aren't even willing to hold your nose and vote to stop things from getting worse? #or did you think 'sacrifice' only meant not getting mcdonalds for a few months? #us politics

[tizzymcwizzy]

can you tell the brain rot is coming back

#I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM #I WORE AN ML SHIRT TO CLASS TODAY #WHO AM I #mlb #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #marinette dupain cheng #marichat #comic #ml #ml comic #mlb comic #my art #i need to go do my homework goodbye #fbbfhfjdjshshdh HELP

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[obsob]

one small step for. kitties

#mine #cats #i was gna share th process vid of this but its just 90% drawing little dots not thrilling #anyway i had a Day today but we live we go forth !! #i am going to try a new journal thing bc th hobonichi hasnt been slaying ngl . i might b a filofax girlie #ive bought a 2nd hand one off ebay for 12£ which will Do For Now to see if actually like it #i need to figure out th sizing of my pages im gna make my own....brain is so so small #i was gna do mini pages for daily journaling but i think ive excepted i am not. gna journal everyday like thats not happening #n then what happens when im then using dated journals is i fall behind n then i hve such an atrocious memory i cant remember what i did #like 3 days prior to back fill so its lots of empty pages and AAAA #ironic that i am journaling to help my symptoms but my symptoms r stopping me from journaling. can i win once #anyway i think this system will be better yes yes

[taxinealkaloids]

i love the tower princes. i love that there’s absolutely no way in hell that this friendship is even remotely good for either of them. love that they assuredly are making each other SO much worse with every second they spend together. 

#tlt #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #my art #anyway ever think about how the empire of the nine houses is pretty much singlehandedly being run by ianthe #and not only are the 2 people who are supposed to outrank her no help at all #they're actually actively detrimental to the empire's functioning as they are both deep in their depression spirals #and won't stop trying to start the apocalypse like they wanna start the apocalypse so BAD!! and ianthe doesn't even want to #be saving the world. girl wants to be villainous. she's stopping the apocalypse with an air of 'UGH i have to do EVERYTHING around here' #you really can't blame her for needing a chew toy. luckily kiriona is right there and she's basically a professional chew toy. #she's used to it. who knows what she'd even do with herself if no one was chomping on her. so it works out!! (not)

[alackofghosts]

but ardbert, dear ardbert, would not forsake his heart

#thinking abt how he never stopped seeing her as a friend who needs help orz #Cylva #Cyella #Ardbert #fanart #speedpaint #i draw sometimes #Final Fantasy XIV #shadowbringers spoilers #eyestrain

[petorahs]

perfect killer / easy revenge.

#shuake #persona 5 #goro akechi #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #p5r #my art #help finally finished this bc i got coloring inspiration #90% of my wips get abandoned bc of the coloring stage 😭 youd think i'd learn how to simply stop coloring too #but i want them to be colored !! idk they deserve it #this one im actually proud of though #it fuels my need for akechi and burn my dread line from his theme lyric (plus my p3 bias) #while also having a csm reference ive been wanting to do for a while #lets gooo girl dinner (for me)

[keynb]

Mer!Mike and Aquarist!Will for pride month cuz I didn't do mermay lol (also a lil hint of buff byers cuz I can't help myself. Do you know how heavy a person is when they're wet? And with a huge fucking tail??)

Closeups:

#byler #byler art #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things 4 #keydrawsthings #i just love the idea of Will coming over to Mikes tank to get him out and Mike thinks hes gonna need help cuz everyone else always does #but Will just straight up dead lifts him out of the water and into his arms and Mikes gay fish brain stops working for like 5 minutes

[stuckinapril]

The whole “be responsible not for other people’s feelings but to them” distinction is so so true… at some point you need to realize that other people’s insecurities really are their responsibility & dimming or contorting yourself to make them feel better helps neither you nor them. Firstly, bc they need to realize what they’re doing and grow up. And secondly, bc you’re not just compromising on a one-time thing. You’re comprising on who you are as a person. I don’t want to look back when I’m older and stay stuck wishing I held my ground despite people’s projections or asserted my presence more or didn’t apologize so much for who I am. I really just want to own everything (the good and bad) & continue doing what makes me happy

#This is something to bring up to the therapist for sure bc im not perfect on this yet #and i think that’s also another thing im learning to be less hard on myself for — just realizing im 21 and that having insecurities or weak #Spots still is literally okay. Making mistakes is okay. I beat myself up for this too much #I am not a horrible person for being young & learning how to live & no one will make me feel otherwise #This goes in the other direction too in the sense that I need to stop being apologetic of my accomplishments for fear of #Triggering other people’s insecurities. That is not and nor will it ever be my responsibility #I’m always going to be graceful w other people’s emotions but I’m no longer going to overcompensate bc it helps no one #And is not a marker of love for me to do so

[that-ineffable-devil]

I know I already posted about this but it was on a reblog that I think got buried under the original and I need someone else to lose their mind with me.

So the wonderful human that commented on this post about Hell's understaffing problem made me rethink something that I think a lot of us are sleeping on: Hell is RATIONING something.

At the beginning of S2 in between other remarks, Shax mentions that Beelzebub has put some lower ranking demons "on half rations." But we know celestials and infernals generally don't eat, so surely it's not food, right?

So what could they be rationing?

And then I remembered how both Heaven and Hell keep close tabs on the miracles done by Crowley and Aziraphale on Earth--even the little things.

And how, in S1, Hastur is stuck in Hell waiting for "maintenance" to come fix a leak in the ceiling. It's played off as a joke and it's something that would be so mundane for a human in an office or apartment building, so we don't give it much thought... But they can do miracles. They could literally fix that with a snap. We've seen Crowley fix the Bentley, so surely a little leak is nothing.

And Aziraphale gets reprimanded for doing "too many frivolous miracles," which we initially ignore because it's exactly the kind of bureaucratic/corporate BS we'd expect from Heaven and Hell.

But what if it's not just BS?

What if the power sources used by angels and demons are not infinite? Worse, what if they're not replenishable?

What if Hell is rationing miracles, because there's not enough power to go around?

And if so, where's the power coming from?

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens meta #good omens s2 #good omens s1 #I have not stopped thinking about this fr #There's so many ways it can go #And I can't think of one other thing Hell could be rationing that makes sense #And this could have serious implications in the whole “We need Armageddon to happen” ordeal #don't send help #I'm just screaming into the Void #Sorry void

[k4pp4-8]

I think about my own headcanons so much that i forget they're not real like what do you mean boxman and gar weren't childhood friends who had a big falling out and now hate each others guts

#god help me i cant stop thinking about the past present and future of this dang show #do you guys like my little eugene #because i do #i have too many ideas i need to get them out of my head noooow #children are so hard to draw tho #ok ko mr gar #eugene garcia #lord boxman #i need to name this au too #ok ko let's be heroes #ok k.o.! let's be heroes #ok ko fanart #kappart #my art

[tizzymcwizzy]

the brain rot is very extreme tonight lads

#i cannot stop thinking about him #i need to go to BED #HELP #the owl house #the owl house season 3 #the owl house spoilers #toh #toh season 3 #toh spoilers #hunter #toh hunter #my art

[heal2ninjagogirl]

I am cruel I am gentle I can make you laugh

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago morro #ninjago art #ninjago fanart #ninjago drawing #cop car by mitski was on repeat in my head and i couldn't stop thinking about morro #its literally him right there that song there is literally morro #guys i still hate him i hate this litttle creature i hate him #:33 #honestly i just started experimenting with shading later on #if you see a :3 in the drawing thats a sign im going crazy and i need help but i highly doubt that i put a :3 there :3333

[athina-blaine]

for my money, labru is head and shoulders above other ships involving them simply due to the unmatched yap potential, i imagine them feeding off each other's energy like they're slipstreaming in mario kart until they start going fast enough to break the sound barrier

#dungeon meshi #dunmesh spoilers #labru #the Compounding Yap Effect #thinking about kabru wanting to understand the value of monsterhood despite how much pain they caused him ... #laios wanting to understand the value of humanity despite how much pain they caused him ... #none of this even mentioning how much kabru needs a person like laios to spur his character growth #kabru is a schemy schemer who schemes and it's one of his best qualities #but it's also what gets him killed over and over again in an attempt to get closer to laios and co when none of his usual tricks worked #it took until the absolute 11th hour where kabru HAD to choose #between potentially unlocking the secrets of the dungeon or giving it up to the canaries and losing his chance forever #if kabru had fallen back on what he knew he would have killed laios then and never got what he wanted #laios forcing kabru to be honest with his feelings #(a feeling kabru had buried so deep he was barely aware he had it in the first place) #is what finally gets laios to stop and listen #and he finally gives kabru enough of a reason to trust him and make kabru stop the canaries and give the party time to escape #and it's ONLY then that kabru is able to get what he wants #legit i cant imagine a more fulfilling ending for kabru than getting to directly engage his interest in a way that directly helps people #with someone who both needs wants and sincerely appreciates his skills #literally riding off into the sunset gay ass ending im #im going to be sick #day 28 being normal about them