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#...why is my brain acting like im forcing it on a trek through fucking mordor just trying to get through a normal day at work
theygender
·
9 months
Text
*checking the tracking information for my package from under a pile of overpriced teas and vitamins* this next herbal supplement will fix me
#g o d what is up with my brain thats been making everything so hard recently
#like. im in a job that im MUCH happier with now and loving it. im no longer living a waking trauma nightmare as a call center sup
#...why is my brain acting like im forcing it on a trek through fucking mordor just trying to get through a normal day at work
#im on break from school. why am i not able to do any of the things that i wanted to do during the semester but was too busy for
#why am i not able to do anything that i want to do and if i DO manage to do it why am i not able to enjoy it
#why am i living like every moment of my life in fear that im wasting my time or doing something wrong or not good enough
#and like i KNOW the answers are adhd and depression and anxiety
#but my buddy. my pal. @ the wrinkly fleshy thing in my skull
#im on 6 different psychiatric medications with a total of up to 11 individual pills per day. im actively in therapy and have been for years
#and my life is currently much better than it maybe has ever been! WHY am i still struggling so hard 😭
#like i know recovery isnt a straight line and etc etc but like. it just feels like im doing everything im 'supposed' to do so what gives
#so. gonna start drinking more plants i guess and see if that helps. im already on some that seem to help but i think i need more now
#bc im having a bad time in my brain prison tbh :(
#im not even like upset typing all this out either im just like. bewildered. incredulous. exhausted
#lets hope this new overpriced tea fixes me i guess
#rambling
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