#1 chemical crutch is all I need to depend upon

[pink-spaceturtle5]

In a fucking glorious turn of events, my weed pen is working again

#it has been. one fuck of a day #at least the ppl I work for at very kind and reasonable and understanding about my car having issues #the baby was very fussy and I am so exhausted from walking #it definitely is not tenable for me to take the bus entirely both ways from work #I'm gonna have to call a Lyft after the first bus bc Ho Lee Shit public transport needs better funding and more options #also I still need to buy groceries and pick up my meds AND finish my hw before I can even relax at home #I'm gonna do as much hw as I can on the bus but it's getting too dark out to do it at the stops #at least the immediately upcoming bus was comfy this morning #and also Rubie is back in business #hazard to my lungs tho she may be at least she doesn't carry nicotine #that's one of many addiction roads I definitely want to avoid going down. among like. literally everything else #1 chemical crutch is all I need to depend upon #also as fussy as he was towards the end the work baby was very cute and silly and cuddly today so that was nice #and I do enjoy the dark #lmao I can feel the dab kicking in

[scumerage]

Attack on Metal Knight (Part 1)

Credit to /u/PoetOfSaffronPark for inspiration with The Human Monster vs the First Hero and When the Earth is in Danger. Loved the idea of ramming different character's philosophies into clashes to see how they would reach to each other. Here is my take on how Bofoi would react. Enjoy!

#I. Breakfast:

There he was, Dr. Bofoi, the greatest mechanical, weapons, armor, and robotics engineer, developer, and researcher in the world since the dawn of time. There was he was, hidden in his secret fortified industrial base, so secret even his student Child Emperor had never seen most of its complexes or the deepest of its bunkers. There he was, working tirelessly to save the world from evils not even tortured souls like the psychic Tornado of Terror, the brainwashed ninja Flashy Flash or mutant Zombieman could imagine. There he was, the most powerful man in the world while the invincible hero King stood idle and only acted infrequently on a whim… and what was Bofoi doing?

Having breakfast in his private domestic quarters like any ordinary human being.

Bofoi had already taken his daily physical scans, he remained in good health despite his age, no failing organs, no dietary issues, no significant physical weakness (he had never used a crutch his life). Yet here he was, filling his stomach with fuel to keep his limited biological system functioning… the basic, fragile system upon which the most powerful military force in history depended on. If he died, the access codes would be lost with him, his robots would continue to defend humanity until they failed without his efforts maintaining their effectiveness.

Ten minutes had already passed. The monitor on the kitchen wall beeped (Bofoi had one in every room), the efficiency levels of production had dipped 0.1% in his absence. He really needed to finish up eating and get back to work before things got worse. He still had nightmares from the time a single power failure in the factory coordination sector slowed down production by 2% for several hours. And the nerve of the Hero Association desperately trying to contact him! All about that “Monster Association” after rejecting the idea of simply killing them all at once. All because killing a single child to save humanity would hurt their public funding. Which was their own fault for selling out to donors and relying on popularity to support the Hero Association.

#II. The Attack:

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 10 Breached!

Bofoi started, his base was perfectly hidden! No radar, sound, vibration, or smell gave away its position, it was impossible!

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 9 Breached!

He jumped up and ran to his monitor. Already past Level 9? His test assaults by released monsters never made it that far!

“What is the assault pattern? Physical? Firepower? Chemical? Electrical?”

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 8 Breached!

“The method of attack is unidentifiable.”

“Unidentifiable? How?” Even if his sensors were annihilated, that itself would record the data of their destruction! Something is horribly wrong!

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 7 Breached!

This is bad! Forget the threat level, those defense were tens of miles apart. Whatever did it is moving faster than a fighter jet.

“What is the damage to the Defense Levels? What percent of them were destroyed?”

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 6 Breached!

“Damage levels are at…. 0%. Each Defense Level is functioning at 100% capacity.”

“0% Damage?! 100% Capacity?! That doesn’t make any sense!” All the expendable outer Defense Levels, 10-6, were overrun in less than a minute. Defense Level 5 with Bofoi's standby robotic armies was the last real line of defense.

“Mobilize all forces and destroy the threat! Aircraft, Mechas, Drones, anything! Destroy the factories if you must, but stop that intruder! Code **********!”

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 5 Breached!

“Military forces are not responding to orders. They are remaining on standby.”

“Remaining on standby? But I gave Attack Code! Standby Mode is disabled!”

If his robots were not responding… that could only mean… the enemy had disabled their programming! And that could only mean… oh no….

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 4 Breached!

Defense Level 4, the factories, the core of his entire military power, would be broken into. Now that they had fallen, humanity was as good as dead.

Next were the research labs. With the most powerful weapons Bofoi had ever created. As well as a few samples of human DNA and basic artificial wombs Bofoi reluctantly added as a safeguard in case of human extinction. If they fell, there was no hope of Bofoi ever recovering from this attack, of ever saving the world. But the intruder had not won yet.

“Activate All Prototype Weapons in Defense Level 3! Code **********! Is the intruder technological, and is it hacking my programming relays?” Damn it! Someone must have captured Child Emperor, and engineered a computer virus based on what few codes the student knew. Only they could be behind it!

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 3 Breached!

“No, the programming is functioning properly. There is no data of any hacking or foreign program. Nor have any authorized codes reversed the Attack Code or Prototype Code. All Prototypes remain inactive. The intruder is not technological.”

Not technological? No hacking? No malfunction? Not even stolen authorized codes? Bofoi turned off the monitor, it was obviously compromised. He pulled out his backup radio.

“Activating Alternate Communication Relays! Code **********!"

"Self-destruct all breached Defense Levels! Code **********!"

"AND all explosive and ordinance storage in Defense Level 2! Code **********!"

"If they want my technology, they can die capturing it! Is the intruder biological? Answer with maximum priority! Code **********!”

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 2 Breached!

“Biological Scan: Negative. Self-Destruct 10-3: Negative. Self-Destruct 2: Negative.”

All that was left was Defense Level 1… His fortress. His prison. His refuge. His home. Everything was lost. Humanity was lost. Even his few samples of human DNA in his private lab were lost. Earth was lost. But Bofoi… he had not lost yet.

#III. The End:

Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Waaahhh! Defense Level 1 Breached!

Oh… so Bofoi had lost after all? And he hadn’t even finished his breakfast. Well… if he was to die… he would die not a coward… but a warrior. He calmly walked to a side closet, opened it, and pulled the lever. No technological, biological, or supernatural interference could stop pure mechanical levers. Bofoi had always wanted to use IT. Even more than he feared IT. His final weapon. His last resort. His masterpiece.

The lever pulled smoothly.

Nothing happened.

Defense Level 0 Breached.

Bofoi shuddered in fear… and shame. Everything was lost. Even IT was defeated without a fight. His death would accomplish nothing, mean nothing, and… lose nothing. It was over.

“Kuseno.... I’m sorry.”

Nothing happened.

Bofoi waited for the end, shivering and almost crying. Just end it already.

He heard the sound of footsteps. The rustle of cloth. The slight sounds of light breathing.

Bofoi turned around. He could not believe his eyes. The spiky hair. The sleek suit. The gloves and boots. The large cape. It was HIM!

“Blast….?”

“Bofoi… we need to talk.”

#One Punch Man #One Punch Man Anime #One Punch Man Manga #One Punch Man Webcomic #OPM #OPM Anime #OPM Manga #OPM Webcomic #Dr. Bofoi #S-Class #S-Class Heroes #Hero Association #Child Emperor #Blast