#AND I GOT A NEW WINTER COAT BASICLALY FOR FREE AND ATE CHEESECAKE AND HAD A GOOD MINI DANCING SESSION

[deathsmallcaps]

My mom has suddenly decided I say sorry to much. And she’s right but god getting angry at me about it just triggers it :pppppppppppppppppppp

(She hates it when I stick my tongue out at her so :ppppppppppppp more)

SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY

:pppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

It also makes me angry because it reminds of all the times I’ve had to apologize and I DIDNT MEAN IT. And by ‘didn’t mean it’ I’m talking about the times where I had to be the bigger person or someone else was having a power trip or some shit. >:ppppppppp

I just want a totally guiltless, consequence free day where I can be as mean as fancy strikes me. And this is okay. It’s an unrealistic dream and should stay that way. But it’s also okay to feel aggressive and hurt. Two things, surprisingly, can be true at the same time. :ppppppppppppppppppp

#suddenlyish. this ain’t the first time #vent #don’t mind interactions just ain’t looking for solutions #my mom and I had a good day today actually #I’m just winding down and feeling things #my mom cannot function when it’s cold #and by cannot function I mean more her neural pathways for being nice shut down #she’s improved a lot but between her and customer service things to do today I’m just feeling a little upset #I’m also week 8 out from my period and goddamn this hormone shit is cumulative #like you’d think #oh dsc gee whiz since it’s been 8 weeks since your last period #assuming it starts tomorrow #that means all the steps of the period cycle were stretched out proportionally over the doubled length #NOOOOOOO ITS CUMULATIVE #it was 10 weeks in between the second to last one and the last one and I WAS FUCKING MANIC #FUCKKKKKK #BUT IN GOOD NEWS I GOT TO LISTEN TO ALL THE WAKANDA FOREVER SONGS TODAY #AND I GOT A NEW WINTER COAT BASICLALY FOR FREE AND ATE CHEESECAKE AND HAD A GOOD MINI DANCING SESSION #I DO NOT NEED TO MENTION GOOD THINGS IN ORDER TO MAKE MY NEGATIVE FEELINGS VALID BUT IM STILL CONVINCING MYSELF OF THAT FACT AND IM TIRED #AND YELLING FEELS GOOD. UNFORTUNATELY IM AT MY DAD’s house so if I scream I’d probably wake a neighbor #SO IM GONNA SCREAM HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #the cute aggression article on Wikipedia is a fun read #EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION #I might go eat more cheesecake