#AND im still trying to figure out the nausea with a new gp but cant see him till the 13th :)

[daaedoodles]

so an update for tumblr even though i don’t know who’s going to see this since i’ve been inactive for yonks

i have a diagnosis!! well, two actually. the cardiologist from my last appointment wrote (POTS) postural orthoststic tachycardia syndrome / dysautonomia, and i saw a GP last week who worked under the recently retired CFS specialist here, who says i fit the ICC (international consensus criteria) for, and therefore have ME/CFS.

my parents are still clowning a little trying to get me to take weird herbal medicines, but once that’s over and it doesn’t help (it probably won’t honestly) they finally have to take me seriously 😭

i have a treatment plan in place, right now for the POTS i’m trialing ivabradine and bisoprolol to see which one works best/less side effects.

for the CFS, i’ve got a lot to do so i’m just going to drop in a photo.

i mean i’ve been dealing with this for so long and i’ve never been able to grasp the concept of actually stopping before my body physically makes me stop (via pain, dizziness, nausea, fatigue) because i figure if i feel okay right then and there why should i stop before i get tired? and how do i even know when to stop on days where i feel like crap?? as a healthy person you feel fine doing things, you can go to a whole day at school or even do extracurriculars and go out to malls with friends so you never really have to stop before you want to or you’re used to - but now i’m pretty much being told ‘stop before your body tells you to stop’ which is just?? weird. i cant wrap my head around it but i’m going to have to because apparently if i keep going the way i am, my baseline will keep getting worse - and if i actually follow the doctors treatment plan i will feel better over time (months, a year even)

i probably need to be a little more attentive to my symptoms because sometimes i can’t tell when they’re starting to get worse until they’re bad enough that i physically have to stop whatever im doing and rest 😭 like even right now typing this i’m feeling okay but starting to get a little achey - but that’s normal for me doing just about anything ever, which i presume is when i’m meant to stop and rest so uhm 🤡

it feels really weird having a diagnosis, i’ve been working towards one for months because i knew this was the problem, but also now that i have the diagnosis i don’t really want to face it. it’s a bit of a feelings-of-doom inducing diagnosis, i mean there’s no end in sight, either way, it’s not a garauntee it’ll get worse or better or that i’ll ever recover, but if the doctor feels optimistic then i’m going to try and be aswell 👍

hopefully i’ll be more active posting here or on ao3 soon, i know a lot of new readers have dropped into pieces!au while i’ve been gone because of the email notifications so it would be pretty tragic if i just jumped ship and never wrote for the fandom again 💀 i will be back i swear, once i figure out the basics of how to even pace myself i’ll be more active on socials.

love you all, take care <3

#my health is 👎 #updates