#AUGH EUGH AUGH (sounds of sobbing) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wolftheidioticfan · 4 years

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THROWS fanfic at Count Lucanor tag before running away in fear of being seen.

I wrote this at like 9-10 am after staying up all night long and I do not know how to write and this is rooted so deep in headcanon that I will die of sheer embarrassment from having interests and writing. Also kinda rushed because I started getting way too self conscious midway through oop. B nice to me ok bye Ahhhh-

Nights without much going on in terms of the trial were nice enough, he supposed. Quiet, calm, and no unnecessary death at the hands of some blasted old man’s curse. Usually, peaceful nights like this were spent in his room, conversing with his closest friend and most trusted castle official, but tonight had been...a little off for the kobold. He was much more lost in his own head, leaned back against the bed as he stared blankly at the ceiling above.

He could hear The Camerlengo speaking, rambling about whatever was on the very strange man’s mind that day, but for the love of it all Patronio could not make out a single word of it, too focused on his own mind. Tonight’s worry was just how much the world had changed since this awful, awful curse had befallen the castle. The jester sighed softly to himself. This was never how he had imagined things would end up, cast aside by the rest of the world and put in-charge of some horrid ‘tests’ that did little more than dismember anyone who would dare take part in them.

It just wasn’t fair. He was in a time period far, far from his own, and completely unable to even take part in a single activity, nor know a single soul outside of the castle. Just how much had passed by? Advanced? While he was here to rot away, forgotten.

The sudden quiet of the room caught his attention, causing Patronio to let out a confused hum in response.

“You are not listening!” The Camerlengo’s loud, boisterous voice sounded out in the small room, “You know one person cannot have a reasonable conversation with themselves!”

The kobold chuckled, keeping his eyes steady at the dusty ceiling, “Sorry...I’m sorry, really. I’m listening now.”

“You are not!” The tall monster of a man snapped back, pointing a finger into the jester’s side, “The Camerlengo would like to know why you are ignoring him!”

Patronio squealed from the clawed jab to his ribs, squirming away, “I’m just- a little lost in thought is all. I’m sorry my dear friend, truly, it was not my intention.”

“Oh!”

And then it was quiet again. Uncomfortably so for the jester, causing him to sit up and see just what exactly his friend was doing. He blinked once or twice when he noticed the other’s eyes directly on him.

“Well! What is it you are thinking about?” The Camerlengo grinned, “That could be a good conversation piece!”

Patronio sighed heavily, pressing his fingers down into the soft paw-like pad in the middle of his palm, waving his other hand dismissively, “No, no, it’s really nothing interesting. What were you trying to tell me again, something about the garden?”

His friend’s eyes narrowed slightly, placing his hands on his hips in a disappointed manner as he spoke, “Well! He thinks you keep far too much to yourself lately! Very unlike you, Jester.”

Rolling his eyes – though with a lack of pupils, the action was mostly pointless- the kobold sighed heavily. He knew how this would go, this was a common pattern the two had gone through many times before. If The Camerlengo was set on something, it was rare for him to ever give up on the subject. Something he could admire in the tall man’s work, but something he’d utterly loathe when it came to things he’d much rather keep to himself.

“I don’t have a choice here, do I?” Patronio half hissed, flopping onto his back once more, resting his hand on his cheek with a puff.

“Not if you are going to be so gloomy and distant, no!”

He groaned in response.

“Besides, it is not a good idea to hide things! You know this. What else would friends be for?”

He hated when the other was right like that.

“...Fine,” the jester huffed, “You win.”

Quiet for a moment. Then two.

“Well?” The Camerlengo prodded, “Are you to talk or not, Jester?”

Nope, no getting out of this. Patronio loathed the serious conversations about emotions and fear...They were never any fun at all and only reminded him of the harshness of the situation the castle had been tossed in. With another annoyed groan, he began with the first thing on his mind.

“...A lot of time has passed, you know,” He blinked at the ceiling. When had he last dusted up there?, “The towns and world we once knew is now….very different. Yet, we are still stuck in the same days as before this wretched curse.”

He expected a quip or two, or something stupid and unrelated to be uttered from his friend, but for once found disappointment when no words were spoken. Great, he was simply listening. Why did he have to be quiet now, of all times? Discussions like this were not the kobold’s favorite! He knew this, right?

Of course he did, Patronio realized. That was exactly why he was silent, knowing the small blue creature would leap at any small opportunity to push this awkward conversation aside and change the subject. Blasted.

He gripped his cloak tight, thumb running across the slightly worn fabric as he continued, “I’m unsure how much has changed, what with being bound to this castle and forest. It is frightening to know that I-...That all of us have been forgotten to time. We have nothing to bind us to this timeline, no one to...remember who we were.”

Balling his fist, he fought back the crack he felt coming in his voice, “Is it not cruel, to be cursed to forever roam in a world that does not need you? Only to exist as a pawn for a game that no one, not even the one ‘in control’ can win? Isn’t it cruel to have caught all the innocents in it as well, forcing them to look to a lonely, foolish court jester for their guidance?”

“Jester-”

“And isn’t it just awful? Awful to know that after being forced into this terrible leadership, that everyone who has died blames you? And that-...if you really think about it, it is all true after all? But what are you supposed to do then, let down everyone else whom wishes not to be apart of this curse? Doom them to an enteral prison because you don’t want to be blamed? Selfish! Selfish to become so cowardly! Perhaps you are deserving of your shame then!” His voice had raised without realizing it, hissing and spitting his self-anger freely, “Yes! Cower away dear fool, cower away and let others die as you lie to their faces about these trials!”

Was he crying? Patronio felt like he was crying. It hurt.

“Jester! Jester...” He simply whined when The Camerlengo’s thumb brushed his face, wiping off the cascade of tears he was now very, very aware of, “What has gotten into you?”

“...I...I never asked for this,” the kobold murmured, shoving the other’s hand off himself, “I never wanted this! I am merely a jester-….How could one ask me to just let others die? I only wanted-...I wanted to bring joy.”

“...He knows, Jester,” It was always strange when the tall man was quiet, soft spoken even, “The Camerlengo knows you are not to blame for this curse.”

“Yes, I know you understand that,” He grumbled, shoving the hand away once more, “Knowing so many people’s blood is on your hands however-...”

“But it is not! You know that. You did not….cause this.”

“But I continue to go along with it.”

“For the sake of the castle, yes? The Jester is no coward, he is only doing what has been forced on him!”

“...Hm,” Patronio sighed in half acknowledgment, “Yes, this is…for everyone...”

“Then why blame yourself so harshly? He...does not see the reason to.”

“I know, I know my friend,” He hummed, “Not much ever makes sense, does it?”

“No, not often.”

“...I’m aware this is no fault of my own. I suppose it’s just morphed into guilt due to well...I am the “face” of this entire operation now, since The Count’s death.”

“Ah...He sees, then.”

Quietness took over again, mixed with the heavy breathing of the previously sobbing kobold. Why had it gotten quiet again? He didn’t like it. Would he just speak already? This-

“Augh!” Patronio hissed, feeling himself quickly lifted from his very comfortable spot, “Let me go!”

The small male thrashed wildly from being so suddenly grabbed, slowly turning into small squirms as he was firmly pressed against his friend’s chest in a hug. A half growl escaped him, dying off in his throat as a hand gently rubbed the back of his head.

“...Do you still want to be let go, Jester?”

He puffed a bit, gripping The Camerlengo’s coat in his hands tightly, “...No. But do warn me before you do that! I don’t appreciate being grabbed like that.”

“Well! You looked like you needed a hug, so The Camerlengo decided to help with that!” The tall man smugly smiled.

Settling further in his friend’s arms, the kobold just let out a soft ‘eugh’ in response, squinting when he was met with a loud laugh. Whatever, this was fine.

“You worry of being forgotten?”

“...We already have been, my friend. There is not a soul left to remember any of us here.”

“Hm, well that certainly can’t be right!”

Patronio arched his eyebrow in confusion, “What do you mean by that? Years- Centuries have passed.”

“We are still here, are we not?”

“...Yes?”

“Simple! We remember eachother, yes? He remembers you, you remember The Camerlengo! We are not forgotten then.”

“Hah...” The kobold snickered once, slowly elevating into a full laugh, “Yes, yes...Of course we remember each other, you strange man! We’re friends, after all.”

“Well then! Someone remembers you, then! And therefore, someone does not blame you either!”

His giggling continued, rubbing his face further against his friend’s coat, realizing perhaps he truly did need this conversation after all. The other’s laughter joining in only heightened the strange joy the silly words had brought the kobold.

“See, you see? The Jester is very good at bringing joy!”

He snorted, squeezing just a little harder, “Stop, you’re going to make me cry again...You goof...”

#saltie fics #the count lucanor #OK TIME TO IMMEDIATELY BURY THIS IN A BUNCH OF REBLOGS #YOU ALL SAW NOTHING I NEVER WROTE ANYTHING BYE #I HAVE BEEN HOVERING BY THE POST BUTTON FOR LIKE 6 MINUTES LORD HELP ME #AHHHHHHH-#I love writing but the mortifying ordeal of being known online kills me

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