#And cherish and share my life with them. Idc if they work at McDonald's or is unemployed just want to share a little space with them

[mrfoox]

I hate how fragile my 'balance' is in life but especially mentally. I've been doing fairly okay in the type of not being too sucidal and generally not being negative mentally the last few months....

But now I am having the worst breakdown and I can't think of anything I've done right or am doing right haha

#negative #miranda talking shit #I need someone to sit down with me and just hold me... I know i got people online who would listen to me but im too ashamed to ever be #A bother. I feel so alone and its crushing me... Like i know a relationship doesnt fix a person but i just want someone to love #Who i can let my guard down around and who i dont have to... Pretend and act and perform around #And they'd still like me.... I feel so isolated its fucking stupid #I know its my own fault. I isolate myself from friends and i have no one irl outside my mom who cares to visit me #If someone would like me enough to share my apartment with who i could just be myself around would honestly be the dream #But id have to look for someone and idk how. Dating apps is honestly an exhausting mess and even if i find someone i know i am so diffrent #It wouldnt work. Bc what i want is so far from the norm. Im not looking for someone to have a family with and 'settle down' #I want someone to share life with. The boring moments the every day moments. They can do whatever they want i just want someone to love #And cherish and share my life with them. Idc if they work at McDonald's or is unemployed just want to share a little space with them #And cats.... But even if i found such a person there's so many issues with me like holy fuck... I couldn't be with someone with and above #Avarge libido for example. Im literally so dead in that department id have to be with someone who wouldn't mind not having sx for months #And lets not forget my autistic problems like thats a whole mess too... My add brain is a problem as well but eya #Wondering why im still alive again sucks so bad. I know im wasting my life but i also have nothing concrete i want to do with it so im just #Rotting. Legit my biggest dream in lifr is to be comfortable with myself and share my days with someone i love #Wsnt to not hate myself and want to die so badly ahaha #Want someone to Love Me ™ and is around