#And i dont want to tag celenos either

[valerico]

thoughts from my icewindale session that happened like two weeks back. I just need to put this down somewhere because this has been getting to me pretty bad for a while now. Readmore for reasons of a long post, and nsfw conversations about a brothel specifically.

So I want to make it clear that this reaction from him was not due to a lack of wanting sexual stuff. I want to make that extremely clear. He set up this place and described things with a broad brush but has never shyed away from showing sex and sexual things before. We're all still in our 20s, etc. I mean hell we were there to try and find someone, and one of the players (tabaxi) who was trying to skirt around the sexual stuff was given the opportunity Twice to be an unnoticed vouyer and each time when she refused he described a bit more and asked again, and after that he'd cut it off (and she was not uncomfortable i want to clear that up too) but I'm saying that he wasn't trying to steer our party away from these things at all, and almost encouraged the rest of the party (druid tabaxi (female), druid "self-described MILF" satyr (female)) to participate. I mean the satyr got hit on for godsakes, rightfully so but still. But my character (male tiefling) gets no passing glances or even acknowledged by anyone there but the one npc we knew from before (who was accidentally there and still barely acknowledged celenos), and the mistress who immediately went to threats of death and the "soul-searcher" thing once he tried to show his preference in men over women (who also showed 0 signs of aggression before I want to make that very clear). Oh yeah and then it panned over to a chick who was passed out who had "Soul Searcher" drawn in big letters across her chest. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that man. A? A, what the fuck did you mean by this? And how the hell is my character supposed to react to that? My character, the romantic pseudo-bard, who I had told you before is usually heavily tied to exploring romance and sexuality, who is still trying to figure out if he likes men or not (he does and only likes men), and who's taking this event as a sign from lthander that he's wrong for wanting that and doesn't want to he humiliated as a "soul searcher", who I chose for this campaign because everyone in this campaign is some shade of gay or trans and I knew you all would be okay with that stuff because I Don't Get To Do This Side Of Celenos Ever. Despite having played Celenos for 4 iterations now.

Anyway. I'm done. I hope I never have to talk to him about this ever because I know whatever he meant I'm blowing this way the fuck out of proportion, and that thirty minute conversation was probably some fucking bit I'm not getting as usual, and though I don't know his reasons I have no right to be uncomfortable with things the DM does or says if I am still enjoying the campaign, and honestly it'd make me extremely uncomfortable and I just kinda hope no one questions why celenos now has stopped flustering or making any form of romantic advances despite that being a core part of his identity.

#op #I dont want to tag this with his tag #And i dont want to tag celenos either #I just dont want to tag this. I hope this post rots.