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#Archbishop of Banterbury (your dick in me)
theficpusher · 4 years
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The Locker Room. by kotabear24 | E | 2792 Anon prompt
Missed Connection by Kingsofeverything | E | 2997 Harry is absolutely clueless when it comes to figuring out if other guys are into him, so he enlists his friend Niall to assist. That may or may not be a mistake.
Give It To Me (I'm Worth It) by sweaterpawstyles | E | 3812 "Who the hell puts lube packets in their sock?" "A boy who wanted to get fucked in the locker room by his daddy," Harry said innocently. "I have my good intentions, Lou." or Louis can't resist Harry in the red shorts that he wore during the James Corden skit. Featuring locker room sex.
Archbishop of Banterbury (your dick in me) by becka | E | 4000 On the day of the match, the bet is this: should the England side lose, Louis’s promised to rip his kit off at the end of the match and kiss Mourinho’s feet in penance; and should the England side win, Niall will strip naked in England’s changing room and let all the lads at him with sharpies.
You're Not Distracting, You're Mesmerising by teaandtumblr | E | 4031 It was on purpose. He had been doing it on purpose. That little Irish shit had been doing it with one goal in mind…and Louis had fallen for it. True, it hadn’t made a difference in the end but Louis had still fallen for it. Niall distracts Louis during SoccerAid and Louis doesn't realise until the match ends. He then makes sure to tell, or perhaps show, Niall exactly how that made him feel.
sensitive to pressure by momentofclarity | E | 4451 Harry’s breath stutters on its way up his throat, his cheeks heating more with each step as Louis gets closer and Harry can’t move. Feet stuck to the carpet, heavy and unwilling, unable to shuffle away or take control, stuck in place and waiting.
Feeling it Out by YesIsAWorld | E | 4857 Harry lost the grip on his towel, and it fluttered to the ground. The other guy took a step forward, reached down to pick it up, and stepped closer to Harry to return it. Close enough for Harry to see the occasional grey hidden in his beard, the unruly pit hair, still wet and clumped together, the way his dark chest hair continued down, through the middle of his belly and directly to his— Harry jerked his eyes up to see the the other guy's questioning look.
Members Only by kikikryslee | M | 14484 “Well, I’m gonna go work out now, so…” Harry said, his voice trailing off. Louis nodded. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go get, uh, you know, strong and buff.” What? Louis wanted to die. “Um, thanks?” Harry said. “Um…” Without another word, Harry walked away from the desk. Louis pinched his thigh – hard – hoping that was some terrible, awkward nightmare that he might soon wake up from. --- Or, the one where Louis works at Harry's new gym and neither one of them knows how to hold a coherent conversation with the other.
Unbelievers by isthatyoularry | E | 136875 It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan. Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.
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wellharkather · 3 years
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So, i saw that post going round about VtM vampires at Cons. The one that references Canon Vampire Jan DutchName. And i was all "@mourningafterdark who the hell's that?" They gave me the brief deets, and it got me thinking about how few canon VtM characters i actually could name.
Thus, i give you:
Canon VtM characters i can name (for a given value of name).
(Excluding Antedeluvians and earlier.) (Also excluding Bloodlines characters.)
Mithras. Ventrue.
The Man, The Myth, The Absolute Legend. Prince of London, King of English vampdom, Archbishop of Banterbury. In my head he's played by a more Iranian-looking Matt Berry. Took a bomb to the face, then fought a Werewolf Pack (or vise-versa?). Hates the Tremere cos they did his boy Rodge dirty. Literally a Golden God, so boss his whole bloodline takes less sun damage. Every other Ventrue canon chara can go home.
Roger "Rodge" de Camden. Hecata/Cappadocian.
Mithras' butler and boyfriend. Came back from the even more dead. Probably eternally looking into the camera like he's on the Office. Wears a skull, maybe? Matthew Dawkins' sort of self-insert.
Sasha Vykos. Tzimisce.
A Bad Bitch. A nonbinary icon. Sabbat big name. Once threw their balls at The Man. Got significantly less cool after that though. The Eldest got them pregnant this one time.
The Man Who Vykos Threw Their Balls At. Ventrue.
Like, head of the Camarilla or something. Probably a dick.
Theo Bell. Brujah, i think?
Seems like a dude? Swapped sides? Probably cool.
Yorak. Tzimisce.
A trans icon. Started the Cathedral of Flesh. Then annoyed the Cathedral of Flesh by trying to turn Dracula. So the Cathedral of Flesh ate him. Fair.
The Cathedral of Flesh. Tzimisce-ish.
Your Honour, i am just a simple monster-fucker, and i love them. They can do no wrong. Just a big ol' building made of bodies, roaming the Carpathian Mountains like an x-rated Howl's Moving Castle. i hope they're a hivemind.
Ruthervan? Tzimisce.
Kind of a wet. Saw the Eldest not die, then gets brutally trolled by them. Surprised the Eldest didn't make him pregnant too.
Helena & Maeneleus. Toreador & maybe also Toreador? Or Brujah.
Eternally big mad at each other. Is it about Carthage, i think it's about Carthage. Helena kept her ghoul boyfriend alive for, like, two thousand years. So mad props for that. He kept her under a nightclub for a bit?
That One Lady Malk who's Prince of Wales. Malkavian.
Doing her best. Probably needs a Spa Night. All the respect.
Monty Coven. Banu Haqim.
A London gent. Calls you "bruv." Ate Mithras this one time, and wishes he hadn't. i imagine he has the same sort of energy as Tom Hardy in the Venom 2 ad. Only instead of an alien, it's a Golden God with Big Dick Energy.
The Science Malk, Dr Something. Malkavian.
Nerd. Discovered the Blood Point in universe. Doing Science for the people who are not still alive.
Cuthbert "Daddy" Beckett. Gangrel.
Another nerd. Wrote a tell-all book about every vampire he fucked. Fandom is big horny for him? i don't quite see it, but i respect his vibe. Probably has cat ears.
Tremere Big Boys Who Aren't Mr Tremere. Tremere.
Ugh. The worst wizards. At least two of them are dating. Named after Asterix characters, maybe?
Tremere Girl, Carna? Tremere.
Made gargoyles. Maybe a "girlboss" stereotype. But she did go rogue, and seems to care about her gargoyle babies, so i'll allow it.
The Capuchin. Hecata... probably.
Probably not five undead monkeys in a robe. Stepped in to make all the Hecata play nicely together. Refuses to accept title of <strike>Daddy Hecata</strike> Clan Leader. Probably a time traveller. i imagine them played by Patrick Troughton (the second Doctor Who).
The Dracon, Michael, and the Boring One. Tzimisce, Toreador, Ventrue.
Epic doomed threesome that Made Constantinople Great. The Eldest was against the relationship, ordered the Dracon to come home, and sent the Dracon's three-headed brother to go get him when he refused. Dracon ripped all three heads off in what i'm assuming was an Absolutely Epic Fight. They all eventually broke up when Micheal tried to get the other two <strike>puppies</strike> Childes (in an obvious attempt to keep together a flagging relationship).
BABA FUCKING YAGA. Nos.
i nearly didn't count her 'cos she's practically an antedeluvian. Rules Siberia with big iron claws. Everyone is scared of her. Fair.
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theficpusher · 4 years
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Archbishop of Banterbury (your dick in me) by becka | E | 4000 On the day of the match, the bet is this: should the England side lose, Louis’s promised to rip his kit off at the end of the match and kiss Mourinho’s feet in penance; and should the England side win, Niall will strip naked in England’s changing room and let all the lads at him with sharpies.
Stealing Flowers by lululawrence | nr | 4287 When Louis finally arrived, he walked in and grabbed an apron. Without even saying hello, he immediately approached Jesy and said, “Sexy Stranger steals flowers.” She kept pouring the Tanqueray shots she had lined up in front of her, but her face screwed up in confusion. “I’m sorry, he what? Did you finally talk to him and that was what you learned?” He nodded to another couple of tourists and welcomed them to the Way Station as they eagerly made their way to the Tardis restroom. “No, I didn’t actually talk to him, but—” “Then how do you know he steals flowers?” She was wiping down the bar and stacking the empty glasses to take back to the dishwasher when Louis realized maybe he should help too. After all, he was there to work, not just talk to her about his maybe crush. “I saw a poster.” Or the one where Louis pines after the Sexy Stranger on the Subway and almost asks him out. That's when the strange posters start showing up around Brooklyn.
Why Do You Kiss Everybody But Me? by justyrae | M | 8042 Nick and Fiona make a bet that if Nick can snog every member of One Direction, then Fiona will ask Ian out on a date. Nick agrees to this for three reasons: 1. He never turns down a bet. 2. He's completely plastered. 3. How hard could it be?
Knead You Now by Writcraft | E | 11409 Harry used to be a baker, Louis definitely didn't and Nick just wants to know how the fuck they got into his kitchen.
Boyfriend Material by Speechless | E | 22565 What really fucks with his head is the fact that Nick Grimshaw didn't just lie and disguise his evil plan as a birthday present. He didn't simply force Louis into his little psychological torture despite his efforts to keep that from happening. He didn't even stop after involving another innocent person into his cruel game. He also paid Harry Styles, a handsome, charming, young chef, so he would teach Louis how to cook. He told Harry Styles which days Louis works the morning shift and that's why Harry Styles knocks on his door every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. * So basically Nick bets Louis he can't go two months without sex. And then he introduces Harry to him. Because he's the Devil*
Play the Odds by alivingfire | M | 25963 Harry and Louis are best friends since childhood who, after a night of drinking, find themselves locked in a bet: first one to kiss the other a thousand times wins. Wins what? They don't know. Glory, Harry supposes. Bragging rights, though those don't do much in this economy. All Harry knows is that this is one bet he can finally win. What he doesn't expect, though, is what happens when he starts kissing his best friend on a daily basis. Namely, he doesn't expect falling head over heels in love with his best friend. Now all he has to do is make sure the bet never ends, so he never has to stop kissing Louis.
I Love You (From My Head To-ma-toes) by yousopuglywrites | E | 26083 When Louis is dared to ask out the attractive Man in the Sweater Vest at the pub, he certainly doesn't expect their relationship to bloom the way it does. Featuring a dare that isn't really a dare, too many vegetable references, and two silly boys falling in love.
My Saddle's Waiting by RealityBetterThanFiction | E | 28383 Harry smiled when the Chicago skyline came into view, its imposing cloud-scraping towers nestled into the edge of lake Michigan. The air was crisp and biting, as it was more often than not in the midwest in February, but that didn’t stop him from rolling his windows down to allow a bit of that infamous wind to fill his lungs. He put the pedal to the floor, cruising down Lake Shore Drive, weaving in and out of traffic as his pretty Shelby GT350 tore up the asphalt. Sometimes it felt like he spent all year waiting for this trip, the two weeks he got to play in the city of broad shoulders. The Chicago Auto Show. ---- When Harry finds himself in charge of Ford's installation at the Chicago Auto Show, there's already a lot on the line. Little does he know that a seemingly harmless bet on the fastest pony car might just up the stakes even more. With the help of a few familiar friends, Harry finds out that sometimes it's not about the destination, but who's along for the ride. And that Niall will not be denied his churros.
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