#But now that those have mostly let up I'm just left with this weird toughguy mindset

[silverior968]

I hate being sick even more now than I did before my brain surgery, because while I was at the hospital my nose was stuffy because of how high the AC was. So, now whenever I breathe in with my stuffy nose, for a second I feel like I'm back at the ward with a stitched up neck.

As a side effect I crave chocolate pudding because one of the employees in charge of feeding the patients, whenever she was making her evening rounds she'd be like "here's a treat for you" and give me chocolate pudding (actually 2 of them on the first day that I could eat). I would have gotten the pudding anyways, but her calling it a treat made it feel way better. I hope she's doing well.

Anyway yeah now that my nose is stuffy and I feel sick I wish I could have a chocolate pudding, but I don't have any, can't walk to the store and don't want to ask my parents to bring me some because I get the feeling that when they told me to call if I needed anything, they meant like cleaning or buying necessary stuff. I think I'll buy some when I get better, though

#not art #text post #Also I can't sleep #It's more annoying than anything else tbh #Like being sick in general #And pain too #If it's not debilitatingly severe I'm like “ugh can we get this over with?” #I don't think that's a good mindset to have about your body being in pain #But at the same time it was necessary for my survival to develop that mindset because of the chronic headaches #But now that those have mostly let up I'm just left with this weird toughguy mindset #Maybe I'll get better at seeing sickness and pain as temporary and rare states where you need to be kind to yourself with time #Anyways I'm gonna go make myself some porridge if I can finally get the Jam jar lid open