#Castiel: he's got a psychosexual fascination with his car. Sam (actively fighting off lucifer in his brain): and he's in a band you say.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Castiel comes to Sam for advice about his crush on Dean but he obfuscates who he's talking about successfully because Sam doesn't know just how much he and Dean hang out without him.

Dean, obliquely trying to come out to Sam during a conversation about settling down: besides who would even want to date me long term. Cas is the closest thing I've had to a girlfriend in years.

Sam, casual and oblivious: I think Cas has a boyfriend.

Dean:...What????

Sam: yeah he told me about him. He's like a drummer or something, travels cross country a lot. I thought you knew? It's pretty serious, they've been together like 8 years I think?

Dean, seething with jealousy and horror: What's he like? Have you met him? What the fuck??

Sam, delighted to have more info on Cas than Dean does for once: Cas really didn't tell you? Well I guess that makes sense. I've always thought he and I share a more profound bond.

Dean: Sam.

Sam: Okay, okay. I haven't met him but from what Cas says, he's like, a real dork. Won't let anyone touch his CD collection, always brings up movie references no one has ever heard of- although it is Cas, who knows what his scale of normal movies is. He's good with kids, apparently.

Dean: sounds annoying.

Sam: ha! That's funny. I said he sounded like you, and Cas gave me a death stare. Yeah just like that one.

Dean: what does Cas want with a normie guy like that? And why didn't he tell me? There's gotta be something going on with this dude. This whole thing stinks. And - wait. Hold the phone. Cas is gay????

Sam: dude, you've met Cas, right?

Dean: shut up!!!! Keep talking. Where can I find this sonofabitch and how can we find out his intentions

Sam: well according to Cas he intends to be [cas impression] 'adorable and infuriating at the same time and succeeds on both counts'. Cas seems pretty happy with the guy, I think we should just be happy for him.

Dean, heartbroken and hiding it gruffly: yeah. I'm fucking ecststic.

#destiel #*zaps supernatural with my beam* sitcom NOW! #sitcomnatural #I love writing silly dialogue like this it's soooo fun. sam isn't stupid he just has Sam Plots happening whenever Cas confides in him #Castiel: he's got a psychosexual fascination with his car. Sam (actively fighting off lucifer in his brain): and he's in a band you say. #cawis creates