#He's so insane I really think he fell out of a CW show into Glee by mistake

[alphabees-writes]

Question for Hunter: How many men's asses did you touch, and how often?

Asking for no reason whatsoever.

Hunter is a MESSY fucking bitch but because I hate Ryan Murphy with every fibre of my being I choose to embrace it in a Riverdale-irony sense. How many Warbler asses are there? Because it's that x however many rehearsals they had before sectionals.

Like okay king you and the homies going to go up on stage for a HIGH SCHOOL show choir competition and sing a song about blowjobs?

Huntbastian is sort of a grey area in my mind, but I do like the idea of them meeting and Sebastian being so petty about being usurped as Warbler captain (because fuck the council ig) that when he first sees Hunter and IMMEDIATELY recognises him like "Oh, he??? he's absolutely fucking unhinged isn't he????" decides to use that for evil.

Like I have more serious theories and HCs about how and why Sebastian let the steroids thing happen but, putting that on the backburner because it's ridiculous, I think Sebastian put Whistle into his head as an appropriate song while acting as his henchman. Like, rubbing his shoulders, whispering ideas to him and just seeing exactly how buckwild he could make Hunter act.

Also circling back to the original point of this question? After he gives all those butt jabs to everybody else, still wearing that weird fucking tank top for some reason???? He walks out into the rehearsal room and goes "alright, now who's going to inject MY ass??" with his hands on his hips and a big smirk like it's some kind of prize.

Which Sebastian loses his mind at, of course.

#Hunter Clarington #Sebastian Smythe #tw drugs #tw needles #Like fr I love Hunter Clarington #He's so insane I really think he fell out of a CW show into Glee by mistake

[starringstjames]

{ facie, 20, aest, she & her } ☆ did you hear the rumor? JESSE ST. JAMES has been spotted in the big apple! HE is TWENTY SIX y-o and works as a BROADWAY ACTOR. some things never change, because HE is still SOCIAL but also NARCISSISTIC. psst! we did our research and found out that HE is a compulsive liar and has driven his siblings away as he’s painted them as jealous and spiteful when that was never the case. i wonder how long JESS will play pretend! ☆ { jonathan groff, glee character }

cw. for mentions of eating disorders & drug use

about.

name: jesse anthony st. james age: 26 date of birth / zodiac: august 1st / leo gender: cismale pronouns: he/him sexual orientation: heterosexual hometown: staten island, new york occupation: currently in rehearsals for the new off-broadway show ‘the princess diaries: the musical’  family: margot st. james (nee. castello) - mother, anthony st. james - father, older sister, younger brother

background.

born in staten island to a pair of local chemists, jesse spent most of his childhood in a run-down house, sharing a bedroom with his sister. the st. james family had never left staten island, they had barely moved from the neighborhood for generation.

as a child, jesse constantly craved attention. he’d do anything if it meant people would praise him, and this usually involved harassing his sister into reenacting episodes of tv shows in living room together. eventually, to save their daughter the torture, the st. james parents enrolled jesse in a local youth theatre, hoping it would give him a place to get all of his energy out.

when jesse was nine, his mother fell pregnant again and gave birth to jesse’s younger brother ( jesse is not 100% convinced that all the st. james childhood share the same father but he has no proof of this ). jesse was immediately threatened by this, viewing his brother has competition and this was when he began taking his performing more seriously. he would not be overshadowed by a baby. 

jesse snagged his first lead role at age thirteen, playing the cat in a production of seussical jr. he spent every waking hour practicing lines and making sure he knew the songs and dances like the back of his hand. why it drove his family crazy, they humored him.

in high school, jesse was far from top of the food chain. being the lanky white boy, with a pretentious vocabulary and a hatred for ‘the ridiculous rap music’ but him at odds with the rest of his peers. but he was okay with his, when he got out of there and became famous they’d feel bad for not wanting to sit with him at lunch.

jesse’s success in performing gained the desired effect, with his parents loving to tell anyone who’d listen about how much of a star their son was going to be. jesse was even able to get his parents to leave his sister’s high school graduation early to come drive him to an audition.

a few weeks before jesse was set to start his senior year, the st. james’ relocated to manhattan. the years of being put on the back burner had done a number to his sister, which everyone else seemed to have notice besides jesse. they had to move so that she could be sent to an eating disorder clinic in manhattan. jesse jumped at the chance to move closer to the great white way, it didn’t matter if his sister had to work her way through a little bulimia in order for him to get that.

after graduation, jesse decided to skip the whole college thing, he wanted to get out into the world and began auditioning whenever he could, earning money on the side by working at his parents’ pharmacy. it was this work on the side that led to finding his eleven year old brother unconscious in the storeroom, having knocked himself out by inhaling a bunch of the cleaning spray. 

after the confrontation that went down between his parents and his brother, jesse decided it was time to get his own place, finding a small (insanely overpriced) apartment in new york city and getting a job as a cater waiter.

this job, however, was only needed for a few weeks before jesse booked his first gig as the gerry understudy in beautiful on broadway. the first night he went on for the role, he invited his whole family, but his parents were the only ones to show up, saying that his brother and sister had been busy. jesse knew that was bullshit and when his cast mates asked him why they hadn’t seen his siblings at stagedoor, jesse told them that they had never come to see him perform, that they had never supported him. which wasn’t true. but it felt it.

the next year, after his contract for beautiful ran out, jesse performed the role of anatole in great comet, unfortunately only for a few weeks before the shows closing. 

during a livestream he did on instagram during his run in great comet, jesse was asked about his family. and he said that he had grown up in poverty - which wasn’t true. staten island wasn’t very pretty, but they weren’t poor. but jesse saw all of the praise he was getting for overcoming adversity, and things only escalated from there.

in 2018, jesse joined the north american tour of waitress as dr. pomatter and the interviews that followed his casting on theatre publications only fueled his fire for making things up. when asked about how he got into theatre, jesse confidently stated that he turned to theatre to get away from his sister’s self-destructive behavior and her rampent jealousy and that he got his first professional role only hours after his little brother overdosed in front of him to get attention because jesse was succeeding. jesse couldn’t help how the way people patted him on the back felt.

as the tour came to a close, jesse got a phone call from his sister. the two hadn’t spoken in months, but she had finally stumbled upon his interview. she accused his of being a liar, stating that she had come to every single show he had done as a kid and even given up her free time to help him with lines, accusing him of using her sickness for his own gain and said that his brother barely touched drugs and that his OD was just a case of peer pressure from some bad eggs at school and that his parents had no clue he had been saying any of this. his family was officially cutting ties with him. jesse didn’t say anything, he just hung up the phone and made a tweet about how his family was toxic. he didn’t need them, people already thought he had gotten this far without them, he could do it for real.

jesse’s 2020 plans include rehearsals for a new musical, the princess diaries: the musical as michael. it’s jesse first time originating a role and his first time off-broadway and he knows it will do leaps and bounds for his career. this will show his family the real jesse, the one everyone else was seeing, the hardworking and driven kid who overcame everything thrown his way.

headcanons.

— jesse’s favorite musical is sunday in the park with george, and is counting down the days until he’s old enough to play george. — jesse has a shellfish allergy, which is a real shame because he loves the idea of being rich enough to order lobster at a fancy hotel restaurant. — besides the girl he went to prom with, jesse’s never had a girlfriend. it’s a lot easier for him to keep up his professional life by sticking to hook ups with people who won’t do harm to his career. — once he earns a tony award for acting, jesse wants to move into directing. and after that, release an album and after that, move into hollywood acting. he wants to be a EGOT winner really badly.  — jesse met patti lupone when he was fifteen on a field trip to look at various new york tourist spots. she was buying a croissant at a local cafe. it was a highlight of the trip.

connections.

(open to any gender unless otherwise specified)

best friend — they’ve known each other for years and jesse always makes sure to get them the best seats when they come see his shows. he’ll even excuse them bootlegging if they really want.  co-star — weather it be a show they did in the past or a cast member in the princess diaries, jesse wants to make the best impression he can and build up a strong connection with his cast. he hates backstage drama. rival — they’ve been stealing roles from each other and jesse doesn’t hide his negative feelings. hook-up — a one night stand, or a repeat offender. let’s just hope no one catches feels ( female or non-binary character ) anything else you can think of!

@pretendinghq​

#tag. about #pretending.intros #pretending.tasks #pretending.task001