#Highly recommend checking this guy's website out if you're not fit but want to be

[dreamsofanenbysapphic]

becoming queer

read about this project on my website

view on my website (srsly check it out i figured out how to make the cursor trail sparkles)

when i started this project i was planning to write about gender, but i was surprised to find that most of what i've written about has been the platonic/romantic binary and how it doesn't make sense to me. there's also a theme here about not fitting into labels & the pressure to find the "right" one(s). (and i want to be clear that at this time i don't really like to use labels & don't want suggestions) but most importantly, there's a theme of love-your-friends-and-stop-worrying-about-being-too-gay. highly recommend

full text below:

Monday, March 29, 2010 So yesterday I found out what "lesbian" means I don't understand how girls think guys are "hot". I don't think girls are "hot" either. 5/10/11 part of me has already accepted the idea that I don't like boys and I kinda like girls part of me insists I'm not attracted to either but I don't think that part is right I might be asexual though September 2011 "it's fine if you're asexual I'm just against lesbians but I'd still be your friend if you were one" 11/17/2013 3:08 PM what qualifies love from love if gender is out of the question? [separate, undated entry] And then suddenly I started liking this other girl and now I like the two of them equally one is like anti-gay have no interest in ever having a boyfriend..... I don't think I get crushes on either boys or girls (if someone would define "crush" for me that might be helpful.) Fears 11/16/13 why do I have to fit under a label what if it's wrong? what if this is all in my head and I really am straight and I just haven't found "the right one" yet? 2/16/14 there is no coming out for me me without my definitive label 3/24/2014 2:04 PM It's hard for me to Find an identity When I don't quite fall Into your straightened categories We all know I am not male, But I am not a "woman" I am just I The artist, architect of words 7/7/2014 2:07 PM just because you know my secret on a legal document does not give you the right to change my identity 7 May 2014 Without the gender binary, or the belief that there are only two genders, gender becomes a very abstract concept and is difficult to define. 8 December 2014 I have been completely fascinated with gender socially constructed March 17th, 2015 what is romantic love? do I love this person romantically or platonically? maybe I was just too scared to be a lesbian, Now I'm like, I'm asexual but I just do not know what romantic love is and that is why I think I might be quoiromantic. What is in between? i don't know what my romantic orientation is because i am not romantically or platonically attracted to people but somewhere in the middle for a lot of people and what do i do 15 December, 2016 And if gender is permanent, how do we explain people whose gender changes throughout life? September 10th, 2016 you once said that you didn't think anyone would ever love you and i almost said that i already did September 12th, 2016 why can't everyone just be polyamorous? October 18th, 2016 11:11pm # internalized homophobia being Out. i'm not out. i love girls, okay? being misgendered constantly. it's so exhausting. i don't have the energy to have the gender 101 talk every. single. time. no one fucking cares about my special snowflake gender i think some people think i do it intentionally to make my life harder. i just want to be myself and i have so much dysphoria December 4th, 2016 i think i could be polyamorous March 4th, 2017 and i stopped saying 'no romo' because i still have so much internalized homophobia April 22nd, 2018 it's not just a level of how much I love someone but also how emotionally connected to them I feel, and how much I want to spend time with them.. and how much I trust them I don't know if I can categorize this as romance but I definitely want it to be equivalent in importance to a romantic relationship, and I just feel like too many people think my experience isn't real June 13th, 2019 I feel like I'm starting to understand a reality where I don't need to assign everyone into two categories because they are just social constructs I feel romantic toward my friends because I love them, but that doesn't mean that we're going to be Married and Monogamous I don't know if I am also polyamorous or if I only think I'm polyamorous because I feel so disconnected, experiencing the world this way, but I think it opens a door to a whole new world to allow myself to fully love my friends

#quoiromantic #arospec #amatonormativity #queer poetry #queerplatonic #nebula writes #on my website i have a whole little essay written about this project and the themes i see in it #i really hope this resonates with some other people #and if it does you might like some of the other resources and writing about the platonic/romantic binary that i've gathered #i also hope no one responds to this post with “you might be x label” #posting this in the middle of the night and have already found one big typo so there may be more