#I also don't want to spend the time reinstalling everything I love

[potential-fate]

I have accepted my fate and scheduled an appointment with a repair shop tomorrow to see what the fuck is causing my computer to not boot unless it's in safe mode :)))))

#my posts #YOU KNOW #I literally haven't played my game in months (yes I have had that much planned out for the sims story that I haven't needed to) #and have been doing a lot of art and reading instead and also gaming that isn't the sims #and TWO WEEKS after I decide to start playing my game again #is when my computer decides to be like thisssssss #*the deepest of sighs* #anyways hopefully they tell me it's something simple to fix #although a part of me sorta does just want a new computer but #I also don't want to spend the time reinstalling everything I love #because the things I love take 7000 years to install!!! >:( #*looks at ts2 on disks* #nonsims #technically at least #pfate.txt

[kurtabong]

My name is Kurt, however, it is not my real name. I came up with that in 2012 since the NESTOR name is so fucking weird and sounds so archaic. I'm sure you don't like it either. 😏

I'm not sure why I want to write a blog and share my stories here. I went to bed around 8 p.m. Manila time today and awoke at 1:30 a.m. Manila time because I was dreaming and I was writing to my blog. Then I decided to reinstall this app, update my information, and make a post about myself, which is why I came back here to tell you about it. Perhaps it is fate, or perhaps I simply want to share.

I do not even know where to begin because this is my first time writing a blog about myself. It seems like I'm writing to my diary, but the difference is that I'm expecting someone to read this tale, which is essentially a public journal about me.

I'm 30 years old right now, and I'm not proud of it. “How old are you?” is a question that irritates me. When people ask me my age, I always tell them I'm 23 or 24 years old. I refuse to believe that I am too old, and I have been lying to myself, my friends, and others. Accepting who I am is difficult for me.

I was born in MAKATI and raised in Nasugbu, Batangas. When my biological parents gave me to my uncle since he doesn't have a son. He stands as my father and his wife like my mother. They care about me, they give me food to eat and clothes to wear. They love me and treat me as if I were their child. They send me to school from Elementary to High School. I love them and I cared about them. My foster mother has six children, all of them are older than me. I recall my foster sister and her siblings treating me as if I were her younger brother. She is the family's breadwinner. She provided for our family's needs and desires. She used to buy me shoes, designer clothing, bags, and school supplies when I was a kid. But everything changed when I was 19 years old. I made my own decision when I reached that age. I turn into a dark ship, hard-headed, and I spend all of my time with my companions, drinking booze and wandering until morning. The death of both my biological and foster mothers in the same year may have had a role in my development into a cruel person. I felt heartbroken and depressed. I ran away and stay at my friend's house for several months before deciding to visit my biological family.

When I returned home to my biological family, I was still processing the fact that this is it, this is the decision that I make. My father and sister are both working in Makati. I stay there since I'm studying and I was too tired to do a household that I need to cook for us (to my little sister and to my brother who also studying college). And clean our house. So I'm with my 2 siblings. I budgeted our weekly allowance and the hardest part is what food to cook for the next day I don't know why but that's the hardest part of being an adult.