Janis & Jimmy
Janis: ๐๐ having a party Jimmy: Where's my handwritten ๐? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: not enough ๐ฉธ Janis: ๐ Janis: [pic of jelly shots and other basic party tings taking up cali's fridge] Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: if you ain't fucked with them, I'm dumping you Janis: it's like you don't know me at all ๐ฑ๐ Jimmy: Oi, it's a secret, that Janis: not tweeted it yet, we're safe Jimmy: tah, Judy Jimmy: what's the ๐๐ then? Janis: ๐ค Janis: it's either taking their 'style', lack of a better word, and doing it better, 'cos duh Janis: OR doing the anti-them so hard she'll be ๐ก the second we walk in Jimmy: so do you want me in ๐๐ or looking like I slept in the park with nowt but a ๐ช and an empty wallet? Janis: both hot ๐ฅ Janis: probably hates poors slightly more than crossdressers ๐ Jimmy: have I got time to get a vote labour face tattoo? Janis: only if it's misspelled ๐ Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: trying to work out what ๐จ I could get to show I hate lawyers Jimmy: no win no fee finger tats? Janis: ๐ Janis: full of the ๐ฅ๐กs today Jimmy: downside being Ian might reckon it's ๐ฅ๐ก an' all, I'd have to โ 'em out or cover 'em up with something that'll get him fuming before he realises Jimmy: or put the ๐๐ on as well as Janis: that'll do it Janis: dress on a lad is still a dress on a lad, even if it's red Jimmy: getting into a ๐ฅ with him would only help the cause, nowt more common than a black eye and chipped tooth Janis: not had enough time for my fake pillow baby to be showing, WELL gutted ๐ญ Jimmy: can make the announcement on the night ๐พ be a lovely surprise for her Janis: godmother, anyone? ๐ Jimmy: only right after we conceived it in her bunk ๐ Janis: solid HILARIOUS lad speech story, hun ๐ Jimmy: especially when I add in that I ain't sure and it could've been her desk in computer science ๐ Jimmy: oh the #bants Janis: me, tryna remember that time ๐ญ๐ Jimmy: you and sir both Jimmy: draw the line at fake naming it after her though, what's her dad called? Janis: who knows Janis: Mike, John, Peter, Paul etc etc Jimmy: UGH fine we'll call the kid Jeremy Janis: gonna start doing #babytaylor updates around the ๐ Jimmy: same Janis: graphic details of the abortion, good times, like Jimmy: but the #datenight in hell after is gonna be ๐ฅ soooooooooo Janis: ๐ #hatersgonnahate #dontmumshameme #howtolosethepregnancypounds Jimmy: ๐ Janis: she lives ages from both of us so where do you wanna meet? Jimmy: middle? Janis: his MIND ๐คค Jimmy: it don't matter to me actually now your ankle's loads better and I ain't gotta carry you the whole way Janis: said as if that were my preference, ever Janis: or that I'm well fat Jimmy: you were warned I'm ๐ด and on death's door, mate Jimmy: I've had my ๐ญ about it but crack on with yours Janis: what else can be said about your stamina at this point, eh Janis: my cross to bear Jimmy: nowt 'cause I can't be all ears for your fake complaints after being deafened by your real praise Janis: if you're so gutted, I can promise you'll never ๐ it again Jimmy: can you? doubt that Janis: see how easy Jimmy: alright Janis: ๐ Jimmy: come here then Janis: where? Jimmy: where am I round the ๐ Janis: UGH, don't remind me Janis: my biggest fake complaint ๐ฅบ Jimmy: baby Janis: NEVER see you Jimmy: but I'm ALWAYS ๐ญ๐ about you Janis: that'll be why Mia don't tip ๐
Jimmy: yeah that's TOTALLY the reason Janis: if you're THAT distracted how can you possibly remember how to make a decent latte?! Janis: if you're THAT distracted how can you possibly remember how to make a decent latte?! Jimmy: 1. there's no such thing as a decent latte 2. I could have you up on the counter and still make whatever โ dickheads want Janis: 1. okay got me there 2. not gonna have me there 'cos I'm nowhere near town so ๐ Jimmy: like I said ALWAYS ๐ญ๐ Jimmy: and always fucking here ๐ Janis: you're saying got time for that bus journey but how do I know it'd be worth it? Jimmy: I didn't promise to go mute on you for a start Janis: yeah? Jimmy: got loads to say, me Jimmy: [๐ฅ sext because why not] Janis: it's like that then Jimmy: it's however you like, you know that Janis: okay Janis: I want to see you Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I want you here Janis: I feel it Jimmy: I can promise you will Janis: you haven't forgotten just how long this bus ride takes, have you? Jimmy: no Janis: so you're being mean to me on purpose Jimmy: you started it by taking the piss out of my stamina Jimmy: this is just me showing you how much I've got Janis: but I'm already so Jimmy: and what I'm sitting here dead unfazed, do you reckon? Janis: I don't Janis: I think about you too, for real Jimmy: do you? Janis: yeah Janis: if I was good with words I could tell you about it but Jimmy: it's alright, you can show me Janis: when I'm with you, yeah Janis: what about all the times I'm not? Jimmy: you're decent enough at leaving reminders, I think I'll live Janis: you might Jimmy: how full's your ๐ gonna be? Janis: this time? Janis: ๐ปtown Jimmy: nowt to worry about then, is there? Janis: ? Jimmy: a ๐ฃ could go off and who's about to see or hear it Jimmy: just us Janis: and the driver Jimmy: he'll be chatting to his mate or missus like the one before Jimmy: and you're gonna be ๐ so you said Janis: ๐ค rude I'm now not that distracting at all, apparently but Janis: okay Jimmy: if he's that into it he can be our 3rd Janis: I'd ask but ๐ถ Jimmy: it'll go without saying, don't worry Janis: go on then Janis: you have to fill in the silence and tell me what you really think about me ๐ญ๐ Jimmy: [a voice memo to make it even more of a #mood and to make me lol cos do you ever do any work boy] Janis: has anyone ever told you your voice isn't a total turn-off Jimmy: it ain't a compliment that usually gets chucked at me Janis: they're stupid then Janis: more than I reckoned Jimmy: don't talk to them, do I? Jimmy: just you Janis: oh yeah, suppose not Janis: count myself ๐ Jimmy: dunno about that but you're alright to ๐จ to Janis: known worse, like Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you don't like compliments Jimmy: I never said that Jimmy: I don't know how to take 'em Jimmy: same as you Janis: it's when it's Janis: if you just said the same shit everyone says, it wouldn't even register Janis: but you ain't ever that predictable Jimmy: you're not a lass that's gonna get bog standard bollocks out of me Jimmy: ๐ฅ muse Janis: I can handle that Janis: you're pretty talented Jimmy: if you're the masterpiece, how could I fuck that up? Jimmy: barely have to do owt for it to be art Janis: be surprised how a lad can, 'cept not at all Jimmy: letdowns don't surprise me, whoever they're off ๐ง remember Jimmy: have had and have done loads, it's why the ๐ face fits Janis: you're far from a letdown to me, where it counts, like Janis: have that for free Jimmy: don't count for much when it's been days Jimmy: even Ian can manage to keep a lass about for that long sometimes Jimmy: but alright Janis: well it's all I've got Janis: and as I said, had worse Janis: you're free to disappoint me any time Jimmy: yeah, me an' all, but no need for me to chuck all the comparisons to my shit ex at you and pretend it'll do for a compliment Jimmy: or pretend that I wanna disappoint you Janis: It don't matter, we know it's inevitable but we also know we don't need to think about that right now Jimmy: it matters a bit Janis: not enough that we can do fuck all about it Jimmy: I just Janis: me too Jimmy: it ain't fair that you can ๐ง ๐ Janis: can't really Janis: could've agreed to anything there but fuck it, why not Jimmy: that's why I like you Janis: obviously Janis: whole plan hinges on it Jimmy: nowt to do with how fit and mysterious you are Janis: ๐ค tah Jimmy: Oi, I've been telling you how fit you are from day one Janis: don't stop Jimmy: not til it actually ๐๐๐s me Jimmy: how ain't there bollocks rumours about you being a model or an actress an' all? Janis: that'd be ๐ค๐ not ๐คค๐ Janis: anyway, the school trip before the last, some scout came up to me and I thought the gals might actually murder her, or drown her with their ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ Jimmy: right, it's different for lasses, so I've heard off you loads of times now Janis: and lads lack the imagination, not the kind of model or actress they're arsed about Jimmy: and that were why you didn't wanna do it then? Janis: didn't really have a chance, Lucas told her it was highly inappropriate to approach a child on a school trip, code for 'hands-off she's mine' ๐ Jimmy: I get it, you can only find out who people are when I read their tits and tell you Janis: obviously Janis: got the card if you really wanna kickstart your career Jimmy: I just dunno why you don't, it'd be ๐ฐ๐ฐ and a ๐๐ fuck you Janis: yeah but it's complicated Jimmy: which bit? the walk or the pout? Janis: very funny, dickhead Janis: ๐ฅ muse, so I've been told Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: why wouldn't you wanna get the fuck out of here? Janis: there's no guarantee that would happen Janis: might never get booked, or whatever the fuck they call it Jimmy: alright, you're scared of looking a twat Jimmy: but you're never getting booked if your name ain't down Jimmy: don't tell anyone you ๐๐ฉธ if nowt happens Janis: we've got well distracted from the point here anyway Jimmy: the new point is, stop being a selfish prick and think how ๐ฅ it'd make me look to have a model girlfriend, tah very much Janis: ๐๐ you're the fucking worst Jimmy: kindly crack on 'cause I ain't gonna be about forever, like Janis: ๐ด Jimmy: โ๐ or โฐ๐น either'll do Janis: know which one you meant Jimmy: it weren't me saying you can't ๐ง ๐ Janis: no brain to pick, you ๐ Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: yeah alright, that lass who tried to snatch you off the school trip'd know more than me but I still reckon you'd be good Janis: shh Jimmy: ๐ค Jimmy: meant to be you on mute though Janis: my point about the point exactly Janis: make it hard for me to speak in a fun way, dickhead Jimmy: [giving her pics because she gave him that glorious dressing room selfie and we know he looks good whenever even when he's supposed to be working lol] Janis: Jesus, boy Janis: how do you just look like that Jimmy: #notamodelbutmyfakegirfriendis Janis: definitely not doing it so you have a ๐ฅ # Jimmy: but LITERALLY what other reason is there???!! ๐ฑ๐ฑ #s are EVERYTHING babe Janis: I know, hardest decision I've ever had to make Jimmy: I'm leaving now, I just think Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: *it Janis: I reckon you are too Janis: like Janis: normal lads don't look like you do Jimmy: I can't fake that hard it being a northern thing Jimmy: ๐ if that means my parents weren't shit at everything Janis: same but that ain't news to me Janis: people LOVE being vocal about how fit my mum is Jimmy: bit rude of everyone to fake Grace being your twin when she's really adopted ๐ป Janis: she looks like my dad's mum and she's devastated, is a gutting comparison however you slice it Jimmy: I should've done more ๐ป๐ป Jimmy: I get it, I look like Ian so every other dickhead reckons Janis: ๐ค rude of you to say he weren't fit but I'll allow it Jimmy: ๐ค๐ he's my biological father ๐ค the other two can still cut and run Janis: seen your socials that ain't got me in, the kid looks like a small clone of you so ๐ง Jimmy: ๐ฐ on my sister then Janis: usually the middle child Jimmy: she's got his ๐ก and it can't be nurture as he don't fucking do none so Jimmy: that's all of us fucked Janis: shit, ain't it Janis: couple my sisters escaped having the same dad but my ma's got terrible taste so theirs weren't no better ๐ Jimmy: how many do you have? Janis: 4 sisters and a brother Jimmy: bet he were ๐ growing up Janis: yeah we made him well gay Jimmy: don't @iantaylor8 Janis: he ain't about to gay bash so it's alright Janis: about to have a gaybie though so pop off on that one Jimmy: he'd be well chuffed to hear he can still have grandkids to bully even though he reckons we're all gay Janis: weird flex on your nature and nurture there, mate Jimmy: duh it's MY fault not his Jimmy: couldn't keep my ex from sleeping with half the north 'cause I obvs weren't and turned them onto a gay lifestyle while I wasn't at it ๐ Jimmy: #myinfluence Janis: Is Bill your dad? Janis: the drama, the top class storytelling ๐๐ Jimmy: ๐ค you've still got that quill you borrowed Janis: if you fancy it, I'll come about and loudly let him know how gay you ain't Jimmy: he'd have to be about for that plan to work Jimmy: if we held our breath we wouldn't need the ๐๐๐ pact Janis: probably can't turn up at his workplace, yeah, bit weird Jimmy: โ delivery Jimmy: just brought my muse so I can do top latte art Janis: unrelated but where is the nearest storage cupboard, tah Jimmy: nowt to see here but everything to hear soz Jimmy: you'd have to break your vow of silence any road, can't have that Janis: not a nun, not an eternal vow Janis: just 'til you admit you like hearing it Jimmy: don't need to tell me on either count Jimmy: and I never denied that I like hearing you Janis: you were taking the piss Janis: so now you're gonna have to be well nice before I even consider it Janis: which is very ๐ for me 'cos I like making noise for you Jimmy: I've been SO nice since Janis: could you be nicer? ๐ค Jimmy: you tell me Jimmy: how can I? Janis: tell me what we're going to do at this party Jimmy: whose house is it at? Janis: #2 Jimmy: we'll find her fave bathroom then, she's bound to spend more time there than owt else Jimmy: ruin it for her Janis: anything that keeps her off the ๐ฝ is a ๐ for us Jimmy: we can work out where her ๐ is after Janis: probably four-poster Jimmy: probably be pretty hard to break Jimmy: but I'm up for the challenge if you are Janis: of course Janis: who am I? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: ๐ฅ Janis: you're fucking Janis: so good Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: if it's owt to do with me it'll be 'cause you've inspired me Janis: I'll take that Jimmy: do Jimmy: it's right Janis: I'm already bored of being on this bus Jimmy: it takes the piss but I need to see you Janis: I want it too Janis: takes the piss I live in the middle of nowhere Jimmy: I'll move you in when Jeremy's born, you're alright Janis: #1 dad Janis: get your own mug Jimmy: *๐ Janis: bit demanding, babe Jimmy: what kind of dad can I be if I don't have nowt to put my ๐ฅ in? Jimmy: size matters, babe Janis: ๐ Janis: join you once he thing is out Janis: only ๐ท๐ท Jimmy: @ Helena for ๐ Jimmy: your back will be killing you Janis: if he's got a head size of yours, I'll ๐๐๐ Jimmy: I'll ๐ช it out for you, what could be more #goals? Janis: basically a doctor ๐ Jimmy: wasted on just giving ๐งฝ baths, me Janis: not quite bubbles and ๐พ but Jimmy: when we get to the party, you can have that Janis: we can? Jimmy: if you want Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: one you never answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Janis: no Jimmy: yeah Janis: ๐ก Jimmy: I want you, dickhead Jimmy: I've said it before Janis: not a ๐จโ to wanna hear it Jimmy: ๐ love a crime, keeps me in a job Janis: I'll commit another, hang on Jimmy: ๐ Janis: pretty sure how you're tryna make me feel in public is illegal Jimmy: ๐'d quicker than the ๐ Jimmy: and hang on, isn't it working? Janis: if only Janis: it's not not working, but it'd work better if you were here Jimmy: brb just gotta change uniforms ๐ฎ๐๐จ Jimmy: be with you in a sec Janis: love a chase scene Jimmy: ๐ Janis: reckon this driver is a new boy too Janis: going well slow Jimmy: Oi don't lump me in with him Janis: you can still be ๐ฆ of the month, it's okay Jimmy: is it? first my stamina gets slagged off now it's my tempo Jimmy: gonna need a complaints ๐ if you keep on Janis: babe Jimmy: soz I didn't ask you to fake ๐ฐ๐๐คต or ๐คฐ on day one, like Jimmy: dead slow, me ๐ป๐ Janis: like, do you even fake like me, OMG Jimmy: busted Jimmy: reckon you're a bit of a dickhead tbh Janis: ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ Janis: brb, throwing myself under this bus Janis: probably going too slow to kill me, THANKS Jimmy: see, what's to like, can't even stick to the plan, you Janis: nu-uh Janis: 'cos I'm NOT dying, but you'll show and think I have and go and off yourself Jimmy: ๐ค Janis: don't you ๐ค at me Janis: cheek Jimmy: keeping ๐ is one thing but denying you're dying right now is Jimmy: I know you are Jimmy: me an' all Janis: it's very inconvenient Janis: wanting you this much Jimmy: weren't part of the plan Janis: exactly Jimmy: but Janis: too late to stop ourselves now Jimmy: not if you want to Janis: I don't Janis: you know that Jimmy: Alright Janis: it is alright, ain't it Jimmy: with me Janis: you're hot, I'm hot, why wouldn't we Jimmy: I'm not gonna give you a list of why it's a ๐ฅ๐ก to do this Janis: we'll survive Jimmy: I don't care if I don't Jimmy: ๐๐๐ me Janis: hot Jimmy: I am, you are, you just said Janis: but seriously Janis: you are so Jimmy: I get it, you're taking ๐๐๐ me seriously an' all Jimmy: right now Janis: you have no idea Janis: if I was even as half as good with words Janis: you might feel a fraction of how I'm feeling Jimmy: I do though, you're doing a decent job of telling me Jimmy: and making me feel like I Jimmy: could just Janis: just Jimmy: ๐๐๐ here in front of everyone Janis: oh Jimmy: inconvenient, I think that were what you said Janis: on the counter, that's what you said Janis: what I'm ๐ญ Jimmy: I'm not closing up but when I am next Janis: promise Jimmy: are you asking me if I do or telling me you do? Janis: asking you to Jimmy: I wouldn't have said it else Jimmy: but okay Janis: your fake manager better not show up Jimmy: he gets us to so he don't have to Jimmy: ๐ป๐ฅ Janis: just saying, some prior warning if you wanna third Janis: no ๐ for you Jimmy: I'm alright with leaving the rest of the dickheads out Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos I don't really rate anyone else right now so Jimmy: I've never rated anyone ๐ฅ as you Janis: you don't need to chat me up Janis: I'm there already Jimmy: it's just a bit of honesty Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: you mean it? Jimmy: Why would I have bothered to say it if it weren't? Janis: I dunno Jimmy: the answer is that I wouldn't Janis: alright, I believe you Jimmy: ๐ Janis: me too Jimmy: ? Janis: I ain't rated anyone else this hard either Jimmy: it's the accent Janis: maybe Jimmy: when you're going all about modelling you'll hear some right ones Janis: obvs Janis: let you know your final ranking then, like Jimmy: Tah Janis: all the male models will be gay Jimmy: chuck them my number Jimmy: Ian will be well chuffed Janis: can't have that Jimmy: Oi, just 'cause you're the first I've fake dated no need to make sure you're the only Janis: you wanna real date them, don't lie Janis: make you look well ๐ฅ Jimmy: it weren't enough for you to make your brother gay, I'm next now Janis: yeah, my agenda Janis: if you spread that around, I'll ๐ฅ you Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll delete the tweet Janis: dick Janis: ๐ Jimmy: ๐ Janis: how old was you, when you got with your ex Jimmy: why? Jimmy: if you're undercover ๐ฎ an' all, I might believe we're #fated Janis: ๐ now I'm #gutted Janis: dunno, just asking Jimmy: ๐ป๐ป๐ญ dunno what we're pissing about at if we're not ๐ in the ๐ซ Janis: I'll turn 'round, you're right Janis: been fun Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: good luck getting that pout and walk sorted out Janis: good luck getting a new muse Jimmy: probably just give up ๐จ nbd Janis: yeah right Janis: it's your ๐ and life Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: come be my personal ๐ธ and I'll think about it Jimmy: no expert but I don't reckon that's how it works Janis: then I don't wanna Jimmy: you don't need me to hold your hand Jimmy: ๐๐ช you Janis: don't like having my photo taken Jimmy: fake it then Jimmy: you've had loads of practice Janis: true Jimmy: I'll take more, you won't give a shit about ๐ธ by the time I've been dumped Janis: like it when you do Janis: maybe it's your process Jimmy: I'm sure any photographer'd be chuffed to have a crack at doing the same for you Jimmy: won't be as fit and mysterious as me but Jimmy: you'll live Janis: ๐ Jimmy: ๐ฅ๐ก to keep the pull out and pray method in mind, take a bit of the homeland with you Janis: ha ha ha Janis: shut up now Jimmy: not having my fake baby raised by other photographers Janis: doubt I fancy explaining that sentence to anyone else Jimmy: you don't fancy it, nowt of Jimmy: so alright, I'll leave it out Jimmy: ๐ค Janis: it's all bullshit Janis: nothing real about it Jimmy: the ๐ฐ๐ฐ is Jimmy: and โ๐ Janis: I'm not a Hadid Jimmy: I dunno who that is Janis: it'd be less ๐คฉ and more, local ads and old lady catalogs Jimmy: and what? Janis: โ๐ฐ๐ฐโ๐ Janis: โ ๐๐ Jimmy: โ๐๐ then Janis: so soz it ain't as glamorous Jimmy: I doubt standing about in ๐๐๐ waiting for ๐ธ is Janis: yeah Janis: stupid Jimmy: like the lasses who'd be ๐ค๐ or ๐ญ๐ Janis: literal Janis: must not know you can't ask the photographer to facetune you just how you like Janis: the breakdowns they'd have with the proofs would be worth it Jimmy: the Q&A they'd die for but'll never get 'cause you're out Jimmy: ๐ป๐ป Janis: hmm Janis: could fake that Jimmy: a career? yeah works for Mia's dad Janis: ๐ Janis: my ๐ฅ inspo forever Jimmy: obvs Janis: sorted then Jimmy: ๐ Janis: be selling skinny tea on the socials in no time Jimmy: I'm not even gonna ask what the fuck that is Janis: laxatives Janis: ๐ Jimmy: ๐๐ would have to be fake nice to you for the discount Jimmy: not gonna put them on daddy's ๐ณ Janis: he's all about triggering that gag reflex Jimmy: my ๐ฅ inspo forever Janis: ๐ Janis: nice Jimmy: I am yeah Jimmy: SUCH a good lad Janis: not gonna disagree Jimmy: but you LOVE disagreeing with me, Judith Janis: maybe I LOVE making you feel like a lad more Jimmy: there's nowt you ๐ more than a challenge, I get it Janis: 'course Janis: far as you know Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Janis: #fitandmysterious Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: what else do you have to think about that's more fun than me? Jimmy: tip jar Janis: ๐๐ญ damn, can't compete Jimmy: gonna fare piss poor in this fake divorce now you've โ๐ฐ๐ฐโ๐ Jimmy: gotta do something Janis: never would've got a penny out of me Janis: not a mug Jimmy: with Mia's dad having to choose sides it'll be ๐๐ญ all round Janis: how it's meant to be, isn't it Janis: get the best #drama out of the break-up Janis: Bill'll be happy, at least Jimmy: he'll be LIVING Jimmy: #ghostbants Janis: wow Janis: ๐ค Jimmy: am I ready to be a dad or what? Janis: you've got the jokes and the fashion, babe Jimmy: working on the body obvs ๐ป๐ฅ๐ฅง Janis: can't wait to be disgusted by you ๐ Jimmy: helping you fake your morning sickness is just the kind of lad I am Janis: don't need ๐๐ tips Jimmy: ๐๐ญ๐ป for her Janis: good thing she's got the gals to look up to her Janis: not #2 she's clearly better at it, but the other ones Jimmy: I hope she goes live the day she does her in for surpassing her at starvation Jimmy: always need ๐๐๐ tips Jimmy: ๐ค๐ฅ๐ก Janis: not gonna be as good as ours Jimmy: no need for us to make it look like an accident Jimmy: I know what I want Jimmy: not a tease like those pair Janis: if you were gonna lead me on that much Jimmy: you'd actually have to fake it Jimmy: can't have that Janis: shut up Janis: I'm ๐ฅ Jimmy: but still ain't been scouted as an actress have you, mate? Jimmy: says it all Janis: 'cos no one knows I'm in character Janis: called method acting, look it up dickhead Jimmy: you know I can't read Jimmy: bit bloody insensitive that you keep bringing it up Janis: ๐ Jimmy: be about right Janis: you started it Jimmy: bollocks Janis: you did too Jimmy: I never Janis: ๐ Jimmy: Oi don't be copying me Jimmy: [a ๐ selfie cos he's a nerd] Janis: oi yourself when you know that's a #kinkunlocked Janis: very rude Jimmy: or very nice Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: you don't? Jimmy: could just leave you with your ๐ญ Janis: subtle hint Jimmy: I know ๐ Janis: dunno how good a photo you reckon I can take on this bus but Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: you said you were ๐ฅ Janis: not at Jimmy: I rate you Janis: only 'cos I know you've got no mates to send 'em to Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: that why you're always trying to set me up on playdates? Janis: 1. when? 2. 'cos I want any nudes I do to get better views? yeah, obvs Jimmy: any teacher or coworker for a start Janis: that's you, you're insatiable Jimmy: tweet that and keep your nudes out of it Janis: blame me for your ๐ Janis: psh Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: shh Jimmy: I can't ๐ me Janis: I can Janis: call it your literary voice Jimmy: I still don't believe you can Janis: why not? Jimmy: experience Janis: what does that mean Jimmy: it means you never ๐ค Janis: ๐ Jimmy: ๐ Janis: you're a twat Jimmy: yeah Janis: literally not talking to you ever again Jimmy: sounds fake that does Janis: you'll see Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: well Jimmy: well you're still ๐จ Janis: alright Jimmy: ๐ Janis: bye Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah, party Jimmy: funny Janis: is it? Jimmy: what are you gonna do, get straight back on that ๐ when you come off? Janis: I've got shit I can do, tah for the concern Jimmy: alright Janis: bit of a pisstake, actually Jimmy: what? Janis: you've dragged me out Jimmy: done nowt of the sort Janis: yes you have Jimmy: never made you do owt, real or fake Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know you're being a dickhead Janis: then stop replying if that's what you reckon Jimmy: it ain't me who don't wanna talk Jimmy: that's your party trick Janis: it's me who talks too much Janis: can't have it both ways Jimmy: I didn't say I wanted it a different way Janis: stop being a headfuck Jimmy: stop taking what I say wrong Janis: if I could, I would Jimmy: why can't you? Janis: it's me, not you Janis: you just said it Jimmy: no need to make it sound like the start of a breakup Janis: how would you like me to say it Jimmy: just listen to me, how about that? Jimmy: I like how much you talk Jimmy: I like talking to you Janis: but then I don't know what to say back Janis: it's compliments Jimmy: I don't mind not having any back Jimmy: silence is alright an' all as long as it's not a ๐ one Janis: it's not fair Janis: you should feel uncomfortable and all, like Jimmy: I don't feel anything ๐ป perks Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll stop if it makes you feel better Jimmy: signing only or something Janis: I don't feel anything either, that's what you don't get Jimmy: fuming is a feeling, girl Janis: so's ๐ Janis: but we both know, not really Jimmy: we both know that's just my face Janis: sure Jimmy: go on Janis: you clearly feel shit Janis: and it ain't just me that don't like talking about it, that's as obvious Jimmy: What are you the ๐๐ญ๐ ๐ฎ? Janis: ๐ just don't chat shit about my party trick when you're doing the same Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: I've said loads to you Janis: I've said shit to you too Janis: I'm talking about now Jimmy: what about now? Janis: you're being weird Jimmy: what does that mean? Janis: dunno Jimmy: ๐ Janis: let's leave it Jimmy: ๐ Janis: I dunno about any of this, alright Jimmy: and I do? Janis: more than me Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: you've done it before Jimmy: no I've not Janis: real is more of a challenge, if anything, not less, so Jimmy: weren't disputing that Janis: so you have Jimmy: no I've not Jimmy: it weren't the same Janis: obviously not Janis: not at the core Janis: but there's still shit you can use Jimmy: oh yeah, hang on I'll crack on andโ out whatever I can't then it'll be piss easy Janis: I'm not saying that it weren't real with your ex, you don't need to get defensive Jimmy: you're being a massive twat Janis: not trying to Jimmy: leave it, like you said Janis: alright then Jimmy: ๐ Janis: ๐ Jimmy: Why would you say that? Janis: what part? Jimmy: that there's shit I can use Janis: not like a bad thing Janis: just pointing out it's harder for me Jimmy: how isn't it a bad thing to reckon I can just swap out one lass for another? Janis: if this was real, maybe Janis: just meant experience, like Jimmy: right Janis: I didn't mean it as a diss Jimmy: I'll dry my eyes then, tah for clearing that up Janis: yeah, yeah ๐ Jimmy: โ Janis: harsh Jimmy: if this were real, might be Janis: okay Janis: got it Jimmy: I don't reckon you do Janis: you never do Jimmy: alright, it's my fault Jimmy: that sounds real enough Janis: yeah, exactly what I was after Janis: cheers and tah Jimmy: ๐ป๐ป๐ป Janis: ๐ Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: don't you know that and all Jimmy: just asking for the fun of it, me Janis: letdown all 'round then Jimmy: it's been said Janis: not by me Jimmy: โฌ there Janis: that was the first time Janis: ๐ญ accordingly Jimmy: I will do Janis: hmm Janis: wasn't very believable tbh babe Jimmy: I'll send you the video when I'm on my next break Janis: cool Jimmy: I'll try and look it ๐๐๐ฌ Janis: it's your whole brand so Jimmy: won't have to try very hard then Janis: ๐ Jimmy: ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ Janis: post you your oscar Jimmy: bring it to the party Jimmy: save yourself the postage Janis: oh yeah Janis: ๐ one Jimmy: full of top quality ๐ก me Janis: reason I keep you about Jimmy: duh Jimmy: see you there then Janis: alright Janis: in a bit Jimmy: ๐ Janis: [better skip to this party when you don't come around gal] Jimmy: [such fun] Jimmy: Oi, where am I headed? Jimmy: [after a bit when she has not replied] Jimmy: very helpful, you Jimmy: are we going to this party or what, dickhead? Jimmy: [after another bit] Jimmy: no? alright then Janis: [I'm thinking this is hours later, so the party is over] Janis: had to go somewhere Janis: say I'm at yours if anyone gives a shit Jimmy: tah for telling me when I could have done something to keep us #goals Jimmy: oh hang on, nah, you didn't Janis: sorry Janis: I'm busy Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: literally always Janis: this is different Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I didn't ask Jimmy: it's nowt to do with me, what's to do with me is that you didn't bother to tell me you weren't coming Janis: alright Janis: sorry again Jimmy: now you need me to cover for you, yeah Janis: don't if you can't be bothered Jimmy: I do what I say I'm gonna do Jimmy: you can piss off Janis: yeah well you ain't promised so do what you want Jimmy: I don't need to, it ain't that #deep Jimmy: we have a deal and I pull my weight with it Janis: I'm not wasting battery saying it again Jimmy: you heard me say piss off then Jimmy: on you go Janis: bye, Jimmy Jimmy: ๐ Janis: [that's that on that]
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