#I also wanted to squeeze Gus in there too but in my head it'd be an 'admirer from afar' type of deal. Like Howard would have a crush on him-

[v7n5]

Feel like pure shit, just want a smutty multi-chapter Howard Hamlin fanfic that recounts the many secret sexual affairs that he has had with different people throughout the course of his life, most of which he sought out to recompense for the lack of intimacy in his marriage because both him and Cheryl were iron-closeted and only got married out of familial pressures (things took a turn for the worse after the fight that ended with Howard moving into the guest house). Ultimately, none of them could fulfill his wants and needs because they're all cold and distant in their own ways: there were the handsome strangers he met at some gay bar like Nacho who were emotionally unavailable and only wanted to dick and dash like they're in denial themselves; Jimmy whom he was smitten with and trusted to be able to keep a secret, but it didn't take him long to realize that Jimmy being selfish and cruel and rougher than Howard had liked and not paying any mind to Howard's own pleasure in bed was his way of getting back at him for being a jackass of a boss; Chuck whom he'd got especially close with ever since he was still studying pre-law, so close that he would make up any excuse to be alone with him and suck him off in his office from time to time to seduce his mentor because the daddy issues that had been developing throughout his father-absent youth came to fruition the moment a wiser and older man gave him a sliver of attention, Chuck allowed him to live out his fantasy but never reciprocated in that sense but they remained really good friends, hence Howard's desperation for his approval and affection and the idea of "I still have a chance" kept brewing in his mind even when he could see Rebecca out of the corner of his eye (the incident at the end of ss3 scarred him for life and talking about the intimate details of their relationship before it in therapy did not help). The latter half of 607 didn't happen because he decided that he was in fact the bigger person and the right thing to do was to drink himself into reflecting back on his life choices and wallowing in his own self-pity. Though he didn't storm Mcwexler's condo, the whole ordeal was still his Joker moment, so he put his foot down, got a divorce and resigned from his CEO position because fuck you, he deserves to do that. And maybe after a year or so, he met a certain Salamanca who got out of a certain shoot-out unscathed (haven't determined if Howard happened to stumbled into El Michoacáno or he went back to the gay bar), their chemistry was through the roof, they bonded over the loss of families/ lovers and "being a nepo baby is oh so hard", their romance blossomed because Lalo was textbook definition of charming and exactly Howard's type. One date led to another, and Howard ended up getting the best pipe he'd ever had while trying to hold back the tears stemmed from indescribable emotions. Would Howard find out who Lalo actually was? Would it matter? Would they last? Those are problems for future them.

Like literally that's all I want tbh.

#howard hamlin #He's my girl. My fucking princess. #Idc like he's still rightfully owed a soft dom who's gonna take good care of him and appreciate him #(as much as I feen for power bottom Howard) #The slutification of this middle-aged man HAS to be riddled with angst or else I'll die #1 of the worst things that could ever happen to me is getting ideas that I think are good but cannot for the life of me do anything about it #That and becoming a **** ****** but we're not trauma dumping today #Being a bilingual with an English-leaning brain is not the W that people made it out to be #Honestly Nacho came into the picture when I was deadass half unconscious. I was like 'Ariana what are you doing here???' #But it's hot. And I kinda wanted Nachoward to win a bit #I also wanted to squeeze Gus in there too but in my head it'd be an 'admirer from afar' type of deal. Like Howard would have a crush on him- #-but decided against making a move cuz he would think Gus is out of his league or sth #This is essentially a Howard x everyone who I think could be compatible with him fanfic #For clarification. Cheryl and Howard don't hate each other. if anything they're each other's emotional support system #But I feel like there's only so much pretense you can put up you know #And yes. Lalo and Nacho were in love there. #Ok I've got it all out there now. Time for me to go marinate in shame #nacho varga #jimmy mcgill #chuck mcgill #lalo salamanca #better call saul

[elderflowergin]

2022 kdrama/movie roundup!

It was a tough year for keeping up with anything because life, toddler, etc, but here are the things I watched, in part or whole, that I remembered. Hot Takes Incoming!

Sell Your Haunted House - Jang Nara in boots. Kang Mal-geum in dark lipstick. Touching, gay, many mother issues. The girls were fantastic. The boys weren't bad.

25 21 - I was dropped back into the 90s. Surprisingly, I didn't hate it. The girls were fantastic. Na Hee-do was correct to dump Baek Yi-jin. Moon Ji-woong, perfect boy. Ji Seung-wan for PRESIDENT!

Why Her? - Someone thought it'd be a great idea to throw Seo Hyun-jin's ex-client (shudder) current-student (TRIPLE SHUDDER) Hwang In-yeop into the romance mix when billionaire CHOI YOUNG-JOON and Crown Prince Bae In-hyuk were already there. And they thought it'd be funny if Hwang In-yeop won. NO.

Eve - The superior commentary this year on the horrors of capitalism. It ends with reparations (Park Byung-eun hands over his entire empire to Seo Yeji, who promptly divests it), rich people dying in horrible ways and Seo Yeji doing the tango. Were the makjang knobs dialled up so high they're broken? Yes. Was it fun? YES, because I got to see Park Byung-eun's range, which includes Pained Hottie, and Seo Yeji running men's feet over in cars wearing couture. We can ask for no more.

Juvenile Justice - No one asked "What happens if we take three of the most charismatic working actors in Korean entertainment today and squeezed the life out of them?" But someone answered anyway.

My Liberation Notes - Lee El, a revelation. Mr Gu, a revelation when he started talking, and not the good kind.

Grid - Kim Mu-yeol. Kim Ah-joong and Jang So-yeon had a great year. I didn't understand the time thing at all. This is a me problem, but probably the only time I'll face it this year. Right? RIGHT?

Bloody Heart - Jang Hyuk has done nothing wrong, ever. The girls were fantastic. Lee Joon, I heard your script was meant for Lee Joon-hyuk. Sorry.

Pachinko - The girls were fantastic. Kim Min-ha, baby, you're gorgeous. JUNG EUN-CHAE was everything. Sorry to Lee Min-ho, who had the tough double role of acting as Ko Hansu and also like he belonged to this cast of greats.

Our Blues - Great acting, but my own blues were sufficient for me. The girls were fantastic. Unwanted to wanted pregnancy storyline: no thanks. This is a me problem, but probably the only time I'll face it this year. Right? RIGHT?

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - 75% love; 25% NOT THIS AGAIN.

Little Women - The girls were fantastic. I ran out of air by this point in the year. I'll come back for you, gothic interior design, poison orchids, and Song Joong-ki in the best role he's played all year!

Through the Darkness - Almost too many twirling moustache psychos and dead girls. I did it for Kim Nam-gil because he's so pretty in this and in case it wasn't abundantly clear by now, I don't think with my brain. The lone living girl - Kim So-jin - was fantastic. Jin Seon-kyu, well-adjusted stealth hottie!

Reborn Rich - Samsung owes Lee Sung-min its entire semiconductor business as @rain-hat said. Lee Sung-min owes me reparations for making me watch this show for him primarily (secondarily Park Hyuk-kwon, Kim Shin-rok, Park Ji-hyun and Kim Nam-hee for their acting; Kim Young-jae because he is THE DILF). I'm manifesting NO TIMESLIPS in 2023 dramas.

Under the Queen's Umbrella - Kim Hye-soo pushing up her hanbok sleeves to carry babies and do embroidery should be projected onto my tombstone unto eternity. The girls were fantastic. And I know this is unusual, so bear with me, but: the boys? FANTASTIC ALSO.

Movies:

Vikram - Fahaadh Faasil, my thoughts are nasty and you don't want to hear them. The girls might have been fantastic had they been permitted to live and not be dumdums. That was never going to happen, of course. There was torture and a baby in significant peril, but it was also the most fun I'd had in a while. I should get my head checked.

Ponniyin Selvan - The sheer scale of work and sweat that has gone into the enterprise of making Vikram seem taller than Trisha Krishnan for the last twenty years! Iconic. The girls were fantastic.

The Naked Kitchen - This is sold as a story of a woman choosing between two men. That is a lie. It's about a man coming to terms with his marriage drifting into polyamory, and enjoying it. Shin Min-ah and Ju Ji-hoon fuck in a museum, which was also weirdly sweet.

Asura City of Madness - AHJUSSHIS WHY. Hwang Jung-min's shirttails worked very hard in 2012. Jung Woo-sung ate glass and has pathological issues about being as handsome as he is. We love him for it. We did not love this.

Hunt - Love is your bestie learning how to write and direct just to write and direct you in the role of a lifetime for you, personally. I don't know if that's what happened here, but that's what love is. And chemistry is whatever these two guys have in this completely ordinary movie that did not give any feelings. Hwang Jung-min, pussy OUT.

Decision to Leave - A well-deserved love letter to Tang Wei, just beautifully shot, gorgeous.

Il Mare - Absolutely lovely little film, reliant almost entirely on the star power of two actors who are so charismatic they don't need to meet in the movie to convince you of their romance.

Laal Singh Chaddha - There was a very beautiful wedding at the end. Aamir Khan's face must hurt.

Darlings - A movie that appreciated and respected noted hottie Shefali Shah.

#2022 gin roundup