#I don’t think children should have plastic surgery like a 16 year old does not need a nose job unless they can’t breathe

[froody]

Look. I’m going to be honest with you. Adopting that hard anti-plastic surgery stance while trans people’s lives and right to transition is at stake is absolutely horrendous timing. Knock it off.

#I don’t think children should have plastic surgery like a 16 year old does not need a nose job unless they can’t breathe #but other than that I do firmly believe in bodily autonomy

[ariseadaptascertain]

1-92 muhaha

Okay, but only cuz I’m in class not paying attention anyways 😅

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Yes. definitely.


2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Nope


3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Uhhhhhhhhh

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

I’ll trust you 110% no questions asked until you give me a reason not to 


5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

No, I don’t like anyone right now 


6. What are you excited for?

All of my family from California to get here tomorrow, thanksgiving dinner, football and beer 🏈🍻


7. What happened tonight?

It’s 2:30PM so ask me later


8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Depends… some people are cute and funny wasted, so some I don’t mind.. others just really shouldn’t get drunk lol 🥃


9. Is confidence cute

To an extent, yes 


10. What is the last beverage you had?

Water💧


11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

I have 2 brothers and a dad 


12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

I own way too many pairs of skinny jeans 


13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Saturday is my brothers birthday so dinner and celebrate with the family 🎈


14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Um probably food or gas… oh actually I bought my dog a sweater on amazon earlier so maybe that? 🐾


15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

No I am not 


16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

People are always changing and finding themselves so definitely 


17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My older brother 


18. The last time you felt broken?

A few weeks ago 


19. Have you had sex today?

no action happening here 


20. Are you starting to realize anything?

What I deserve 


21. Are you in a good mood?

Currently, yes😁


22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Am I trying to die? 🦈


23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Yes, mine are darker though 👀


24. What do you want right this second?

To get out of class 


25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Wtf bye? lol at least that’s what I think I’d say idk strangely I’ve been here before and idk we stayed together but we were never really together and it was confusing but that was 4 years ago and I was stupid so now, i’d probably just say bye👋🏽


26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Um the top half is😅 


27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

NO I need someone just as strange as myself 


28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Someone’s speech in my public speaking class at noon

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes


30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

That’s a tricky one, depends 


31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Um sorry I think you have the wrong person👭


32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I don’t have feelings for anyone now, the last person I had feelings for knew though


33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

No, I’ll have one every once in awhile

34. Listening to?

Right now an OChem lecture🙄 music wise, everything. Currently I’m listening to some throw back usher. But Marc e. Bassy, j cole, chance, been into Kelsea ballerini’s new album, Lauv, Lany, CVBZ, Devin Dawson, Parson James, maren Morris, post Malone, Noah kahan, Khalid, Chelsea cutler, Ben Howard…. list goes on I listen to everything all the time

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Yes exam days 


36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Yes, not sure who they are now or what they are doing but I know where geographically 


37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I’d like to, but I don’t think so.. at least for me, I don’t know a person until I meet them, I can’t develop feelings for them until I spend time with them 


38. Who did you last call?

The Ford dealership 


39. Who was the last person you danced with?

@iriseagain lolol


40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I loved them 


41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Omg um I made cupcakes on a Tuesday in October I think, so cute they were on my snap chat, go follow me lol 🍰


42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

No I did not 


43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I embarrass myself every day haha but I love it that’s just me it’s cool 


44. Do you tan in the nude?

I would if I didn’t have neighbors but hey tan lines are attractive 


45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

No, I probably would have made it more memorable though because I honestly don’t remember where we were or what we were doing 


46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Nope


47. Who was the last person to call you?

Haha my mom 


48. Do you sing in the shower?

Yes, loud and proud 🎤


49. Do you dance in the car?

As much as I can without crashing or being a hazard to others, but yes always


50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

No🤔 I’d like to 


51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Senior year of high school


52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Of course, but that’s why people love them right? 


53. Is Christmas stressful?

No it’s wonderful and full of love, pine, and everything warm🎅🏽🎄


54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes they are good with sour cream 


55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Apple🍎🍏


56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Veterinarian or Teacher or Surgeon of some sort


57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sometimes hah especially after a scary movie👻


58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

ALL THE DAMN TIME


59. Take a vitamin daily?

No…💊


60. Wear slippers?

I have one pair from like 6th grade I’ll throw on every once in awhile for fun cuz I’m weird


61. Wear a bath robe?

No I do not


62. What do you wear to bed?

Sports bra and Calvins usually unless it’s cold then a hoodie 


63. First concert?

It was a Jason Aldean, Florida Georgia Line, Dierks Bentley concert 


64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

I love target but I normally just shop at Wally World 


65. Nike or Adidas?

Um I can’t. If I had to I guess Nike cuz I own more Nike ✔️


66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos… but if y'all like cottage cheese (which I know most of you will be like EW.) dip your Fritos in cottage cheese. That’s some good shit 


67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Retired softball player so Seeds all the way 


68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

All the old stuff from like jr high love story, you belong with me, picture to burn, mine


69. Ever take dance lessons?

No I probably should though💃🏻


70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

No… maybe something medical wise


71. Can you curl your tongue?

No, I can make a stupid face while attempting to do so though that you’d probably like 


72. Ever won a spelling bee?

lol Yes 😂😂🤓


73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yes I have, I think whenever I get a puppy I go cry to myself about it, but many times… when I see beautiful things or beautiful people in my life I cry sometimes at how beautiful everything is, songs make me happy and cry… don’t judge me I’m appreciative and emotional 😅


74. What is your favorite book?

The giving tree 🌳


75. Do you study better with or without music?

with, quietly though in the background just to keep my mind going 


76. Regularly burn incense?

Regularly burn candles? YES


77. Ever been in love?

once, 5-6 years ago


78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Sooooo many people… before I die, chance, marc. e. bassy, usher needs to do a tb concert, pink, Carrie underwood, beyonce, I’ve been to so many concerts, the list goes on and on for people I want to see 


79. What was the last concert you saw?

I think it was Halsey


80. Hot tea or cold tea?

On cold days, hot. On hot days, cold. 


81. Tea or coffee?

Coffee ☕️ but both 


82. Favorite type of cookie?

My moms chocolate chip 🍪


83. Can you swim well?

Very 🌊


84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes…. can’t everyone? 


85. Are you patient?

I work with children and sick angry people who need their meds all day, so VERY 


86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

Aw a band could be cute, but if it was my wedding DJ all the way 


87. Ever won a contest?

Yes… a few
88. Ever have plastic surgery? My cheeks are naturally this way I promise


89. Which are better black or green olives?

Um I eat more black just cuz they are more common, but green taste like butter and are more expensive so I have those only when I’m treating myself or trying to be fancy 


90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Shit happens🤷🏽‍♀️ just be someone you are proud of

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Mines in the family room which is nice… but honestly best place for a fire is outside surrounded by good people with some s'mores and a drink in your hand 🔥

92. Do you want to get married?

I do 💍

[funface2]

101 Funny Quotes — Hilarious Quotes to Make You Laugh – Parade

Whether it’s a play on words, a funny observation about everyday things or old witty sayings, comedy has a way of making us realize we’re all going through the same stuff in this crazy life. These funny quotes about work, love, friends and family will have you saying, “So true!” because, well, they are. Others will have you remembering hilarious, meme-worthy movie and TV moments.

Take a much-needed break from your day to check out the 101 funniest quotes we found in stand-up comedy, books, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, as well as movies and TV shows, guaranteed to give you a quick chuckle. 

1. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” —Mitch Hedberg

2. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.” —President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove

3. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls

4. “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.” —David Letterman

5. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” —Jack Handey

6. Bob: “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.” Peter: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.” —Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space

7. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” —Mark Twain

8. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell

9. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner

10. “Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you—but I’m not going to.” —Phil Connors (Bill Murray), Groundhog Day

11. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” —Erma Bombeck

12. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller

13. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” —Ellen DeGeneres

14. “Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’” —Anonymous

15. “Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.” —Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld

16. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” —Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), The Office

17. “I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.” —Anonymous

18. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” —Rodney Dangerfield

19. “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” —Les Dawson

20. “There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.” —Surgeon (Graham Chapman), Monty Python’s Flying Circus

21. “Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’” —Steven Wright

22. Ted Striker: “Surely you can’t be serious.” Dr. Rumack: “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley” —Ted Striker (Robert Hays) and Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen), Airplane!

23.“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” ―Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

24. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” —Joan Rivers

25. “Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.” —Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear

26. “My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.” —Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler), The Waterboy

27. “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” —Jimmy Kimmel

28. “Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.” —Pete (Paul Rudd), Knocked Up

29. “Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.” —Lessons from the Minivan

30. “I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.” —Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory

31. “There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.” —Elise (Goldie Hawn), The First Wives Club

32. Usher: “Bride or groom?” Wedding guest: “It should be perfectly obvious I’m neither!” —Four Weddings and a Funeral

33. Stan Fields: “Describe your perfect date.” Cheryl: “That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25. Because it’s not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.” —Stan Fields (William Shatner) and Cheryl Frasier (Heather Burns), Miss Congeniality

34. “I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” —Jerry Seinfeld

35. Lucy: “There’s just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.” Fred: “Your feet?” —Lucy (Lucille Ball) and Fred Mertz (William Frawley), I Love Lucy

36. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” —Anonymous

37. Coach: “How’s a beer sound, Norm?” Norm: “I don’t know, I usually finish before they get a word in.” —Coach (Nicholas Colasanto) and Norm (George Wendt), Cheers

38. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” —Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase), National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

39.“There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.” —Dowager Countess Violet Crawley (Maggie Smith), Downton Abbey

40. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” —Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey), Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

41. “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” —Clairee Belcher (Olivia Dukakis), Steel Magnolias

42. “I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.” —Anonymous

43. “A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” —Graham Norton

44. “I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” —Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends

45. “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” —George Carlin

46. “When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don’t have to shake hands.” —Larry (Larry David), Curb Your Enthusiasm

47. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” —Sir Norman Wisdom

48. “That’s why New York is so great, though. Everyone you care about can despise you and you can still find a bagel so good, nothing else matters. Who needs love when you’ve got lox? They both stink, but only one tastes good.” —Midge Maisel (Rachel Brosnahan), The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

49. “Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.” —Adam Gropman

50. “Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’?” —Neil DeGrasse Tyson

51. “I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” —Groucho Marx

52. “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?” —Jay Leno

53. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” —Steve Martin

54. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” —Dave Barry

55. “Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.” —Frank Semyon (Vince Vaughn), True Detective

56. “What do you mean, he don’t eat no meat? That’s okay, that’s okay. I make lamb.” —Aunt Voula (Andrea Martin), My Big Fat Greek Wedding

57. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” —George Burns

58. “To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” —Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis), A Fish Called Wanda

59. “Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?” —Shelley Darlingson (Anna Faris), The House Bunny

60. “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” —Ellen DeGeneres

61. Francois: “Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?” Clouseau: “The exploding kind.” —Francois (André Maranne) and Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers), The Pink Panther Strikes Again

62. “My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” —Tina Fey, Bossypants

63. “There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.” —Anonymous

64. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” —Robin Williams

65. “I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.” —Dory (Ellen DeGeneres), Finding Dory

66. “I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.” —Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters

67. Police officer: “Pull over.” Harry: “No, it’s a cardigan. But thanks for noticing.” —Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels), Dumb and Dumber

68. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.” —Bob Hope

69. “If we’re going to pay this much for crab, it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid.” —Claire Foster (Tina Fey), Date Night

70. “I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.” —Anonymous

71. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” —Mark Twain

72. “Woke up today. It was terrible.” —Grumpy Cat

73. “Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes.” —Anonymous

74. “I can’t end my messages with Love, Shaq because the B-52s ruined that for me.” —Meme attributed to Shaquille O’Neal

75. “My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” —Halley Reed (Mia Farrow), Crimes and Misdemeanors

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76. “Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.” —Erma Bombeck

77. “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” —Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant), Arsenic and Old Lace

78. Brian: “Look, you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody. You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals.” Crowd: “Yes, we’re all individuals!” Individual: “I’m not!” —Brian (Graham Chapman) and cast, Monty Python’s Life of Brian

79. “Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?” —Lillian (Maya Rudolph), Bridesmaids

80. “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” —Oscar Wilde

81. “What they could do to make it easier is combine the two, real estate and obituaries: Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.” —Harry (Billy Crystal), When Harry Met Sally

82. “The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.” —Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

83. “I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.” —Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Sex and the City

84: Cal: “You are really pushing my buttons today.” Becky: “Which one is ‘mute’?” —Waitress, the Musical

85. “The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.” —Anonymous

86. “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.” —Betty White

87. “My therapist says I’m afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting-around time.” —Maria Bamford

88. “From the ages of eight to 18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.” —Jarod Kintz

89. “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” —Dorothy Parker

90. “The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat. So people who don’t know what they’re doing, or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self.” —Joe Fox (Tom Hanks), You’ve Got Mail

91. “Good parenting means investing in your child’s future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday.” —Lin-Manuel Miranda

92. “I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.” —Anonymous

93. “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” —Groucho Marx

94. “I’m one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” —Emily Charlton (Emily Blunt), The Devil Wears Prada

95. “My perfect beautiful miracle baby? Never slept. Ever. Never. Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. You want to torture someone? Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn’t sleep.” —Shonda Rimes

96. “I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.” —Damien Fahey

97. “Why yes, I can carry on a conversation made up entirely of movie quotes.” —Anonymous

98. “I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” —Jack Whitehall

99. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” —Noel Coward

100. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” —Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

101. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” —Zach Galifianakis

Want more great quotes? Check out… 50 Thinking of You Quotes  150 Good Morning Quotes  100 Wedding and Marriage Quotes  50 Friday Quotes  50 Monday Motivation Quotes

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Bài viết 101 Funny Quotes — Hilarious Quotes to Make You Laugh – Parade đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

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[nicegoodgolden-blog]

Vaguely nsfw asks: 1 to 50 xx

Ohhhhh shit, here we go!1. Are looks important in a relationship?I want to say no, but I think, as humans, its natural to look at someone's physical beauty as something important in a relationship. However, it's not the ONLY important thing.2. Are relationships ever worth it?Oh, absolutely. The right ones are. And even the wrong ones teach us lessons.3. Are you a virgin?Yes. No, Im kidding...I've pushed 2 tiny humans from my vag, no virginity here. 4. Are you in a relationship?I'm quite married, yes5. Are you in love?I certainly am6. Are you single this year?Nope7. Can you commit to one person?Most definitely 8. Describe your crushHarry Styles9. Describe your perfect mateLoving, kind, witty, intelligent, honest, weird10. Do you believe in love at first sight?I believe in infatuation at first sight. To truly love someone, youve gotta get to know them, get to know their heart.11. Do you ever want to get married?I did & I am12. Do you forgive betrayal?I do forgive, yes. 13. Do you get jealous easily?Not really 14. Do you have a crush on anyone?Harry Styles 🙃15. Do you have any piercings?Just my ears, my nose has been pierced twice, but my body rejected the piercing each time. I sort of want my nip pierced, though. 16. Do you have any tattoos?Just one17. Do you like kissing in public?I do20. Do you shower every day?Honestly? Nope. I try to, but sometimes #momlife gets crazy. 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?I should hope so22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Probably not lol23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?I know I can24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?I really hope so 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?Yeth26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Indeed27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?I highly doubt it28. Have you ever been cheated on?No, I have not29. Have you ever cheated on someone?Absolutely not30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?No, not really 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?Too many times 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?Yes33. Have you ever had sex with a man?Once or twice 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?Nope35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yes36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?Yes 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Hahaha yes38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?I FUCKIN MARRIED HIM39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Yeah, silly me 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?Yes, many 41. Have you had sex so far this year?A couple times 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?Oh, not long. I'm a toucher43. How long was your longest relationship?Well, we're currently working on 6 years44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?1 actual, serious bf...and I married him 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?Just 146. How many times did you have sex last year?Oh my gosh, too many... *insert 'the limit does not exist' gif here*47. How old are you?2348. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Aye, fuck you mate lol49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?The way he is with our children 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?Leonardo DiCaprio? Fuck yeah. Like yes boo, I forgive you for bein blind all these years, I've been waitin for you bby. I've loved you since I was 4. Thank you, sweet bby Olivia xx

[wtfisbeautyjennifercarrasco]

What is Natural Beauty

What is natural beauty? Beauty at every age, today's going to be a very personal podcast on the natural aging process. At age 40, myself has been through definitely triumph times of what I feel that natural beauty should look like within a person, in my perception of my beliefs or what I see with my clients. Natural beauty is portrayed in the media and magazines with 20-year-old models. But as we age, we start looking up to the people that are older than us in the social spotlight. I have noticed over the last decade of women getting Botox injections, fillers, facelifts, other alternatives to always stay in that 20-year-old range. So today, what do we think? Or what the fuck do you think beauty is at every age of your journey?

When you look up to these individuals and they're changing their face to pretty much look 20 years younger than what they are, it makes us feel that we need to do those things for ourselves. And maybe think that we need to do these things to make ourselves look younger. And I'm here to say that I feel that in life, there should be a balance. We need to age gracefully. Having some fine lines are your journey in life and your path in life. It's your character. It's what shows you that you've laughed hard through life. I'm not against by means because I do it myself, Botox, fillers. I agree with all of that, but I think there is a point that you do it gracefully as we age.

So our next question is when should you start the anti-aging? When should you start those fillers? When should you start those Botox sessions? It's a great question. And it's a question that honestly, individuality wise, you have to figure out that for yourself. When you start getting a fine line that is not going away, it is forming a wrinkle. And that wrinkle forms scar tissue. Scar tissue starts to embed the tissue and it gets thicker and more embedded with time, especially as you're making those expressions over some time. My feeling is that is the point that you need to do Botox. That is the point that you need to deaden that line, so that way you still have a line there, but it's not embedded and deep into your skin to make you look or appear a lot older than your age.

I honestly tell the majority of my clients to do the Botox about every five to six months, because then you are getting some of the muscle atrophy during that period, so it's not embedding that line, but it also is making it to where you have a good month to two months without the Botox so you can work that muscle a little bit more and get more of that muscle movement because if you don't use that muscle over some time, it will sag like any muscle. It's called muscle atrophy.

And with getting filler, I believe that time that you start getting those embedded lines in your lips or your smile lines that are very prominent, that start to age you. I  feel that that's the time that you definitely should start doing a little bit more or even looking into some fiber blast treatments. I honestly think that fiber blast treatments are a great alternative for a nonsurgical approach to tightening the skin. I encourage my clients to start their fiber blast treatments probably in their late twenties because if we do that about once a year, it's going to keep that skin nice and tight through the aging process.

The other question is, do you think we have a choice in the anti-aging process? And my honest opinion is no, I don't think we have a choice. I feel that social media and marketing is making it to the point that females need to take that extra step and they need to take care of themselves and make themselves look a certain way. I'm not saying that's for everybody, but for the majority of women, we all want to appear younger or look younger or grow gracefully. And I don't think there's anything wrong taking that next step of doing little things. Honestly, I  feel that when you are about adolescent age, I would say 13 to 16 years old, you should teach your children to come in and get cleanings, get their skin cleaned, keep up the maintenance. I have clients that are in their sixties and seventies who have never touched Botox, never had laser, have never had a facelift that is continuously seen me every four weeks for about 20 years and their skin looks just like a 40-year-olds.

As I tell my clients, as we age, we're like potatoes. So unfortunately potatoes start growing random roots out of it. And that's what happens within our bodies. I mean, we do form more moles, skin tags, lesions, and honestly, we're in a great time, a great era to be able to take care of these things and be confident in our skin. And I'm not talking about over plastic surgery or overcompensating with Botox or being frozen, but I'm saying we can age gracefully and we can do it beautifully. There are so many products on the market now that can help with skin tags, they can help with moles, they can help with tightening the tissues. There are so many alternatives that you can do naturally with your esthetician to get so many benefits that enhance your skin from aging.

The breakdown of the aging process and why I recommend my clients and patients to get regular facials is as we get older, our skin cells do not shed off as they used to and they accumulate on the skin and it gets thicker and you get a less collagen and elastin production. So when you're coming in for your monthly facials, you're getting that exfoliated, sloughed off. Helping the reproduction of the cells to stimulate, helping that collagen, helping that elastin.

And if you have a great esthetician that knows what she's doing, she's using microcurrent to help to lift and tighten the muscles. She's doing different treatments with vitamin As or infusions or non-surgical facelifts, things that are helping to stimulate the collagen, the elastin, the muscle stimulation, the product penetration. It's not just about going for a facial and just getting products on the skin. It's about finding an esthetician that can actually manipulate and maneuver and get that skin tissue back to the way it was.

And I always have my clients every year, usually about the holiday time or January time when they're not out in the sun, I have them come in for a series of treatments. And the reason behind that is it takes off that whole year of that sun damage, the aging process, it's getting in a little bit deeper. We usually do a great fiber blast. After the fiber blast, we do some non-surgical facelifts, some peels. We do about six to 12 treatments and it's about every single week that they come in. But honestly, it literally will take off a year to two years of their skin and it will keep them refreshed as they age and without having to go under the knife, without having to do a lot of invasive treatments for the skin and the tissues, which it's pretty harmful to the skin.

So aging gracefully to me is maintenance. It's about maintaining yourself, just like an older car. It's more maintenance. You have to get the tune-up now and then, you have to get the spark plugs changed. It's the same thing with our skin. It's about keeping up with it and doing it gracefully as we age.

I think it's time to change the message. I think that, and this is my belief, that if you want to get the Botox and you want to get the filler, I think we should. I think we should age gracefully. I think we need to do things to make us feel better as women, to make us feel youthful. I don't think there's anything wrong with going beyond what we want to do for our beauty and to own that, because that beauty is us. It's our confidence. It's what makes us stand out. And if that is what makes you happy, then, by all means, I think that is something that you need to own as a female.

I do think it's time as women who are over 40, over 50 and over 60 years old, show they're sexy and be them and be who they want to be and be able, I mean honestly, I don't feel like I put myself on social media as a sex goddess by any means and show anything provocative. But to me, I'm going to own my sexiness as I get older. And as a 40-year-old with a 20-year-old son, I'm going to age gracefully and I am going to take care of myself and take care of my body and be happy within my skin. And I don't think there's anything wrong with doing extra things to make ourselves more beautiful for our selves, not for anybody else.

But where it boils down to is beauty lies within. Beauty lies within if you are happy with yourself, with you're confident with yourself. Beauty stems from the beauty that's inside you. And that is the beauty that people are attracted to, and that is the beauty that people seem to gravitate towards.

I do see a lot more women wanting to go the natural route, wanting to do things more naturally. And I'm blessed to say, as a master esthetician, we can provide so much more for women these days to become that beauty that they want to be naturally. If a woman feels like doing something about a frown line, a wrinkle, or hanging eyelids, she should go right ahead. If that what's makes her feel beautiful and therefore happy inside, but to see a woman's struggle with the pressure of the media to look five, 10, or 20 years younger than she is, it does trigger an activist in me and I get upset. Because those are impossible, unnatural, and therefore unfair expectations. The media can be misleading, showing and telling us what we should look like at a certain age while in fact, the woman we're looking at in the picture or video or movies is always retouched, covered with filters, not even to mention Botox fillers and/or plastic surgery.

But I also believe that times have changed. That Botox, et cetera, will never leave our society. This is precisely why I started this podcast. To show how beautiful natural beauty is, and it won't be forgotten. I think that Botox injections, fillers, if you think you need it, it should be seen as something you do because you think it makes you look better for your age, not to look years younger. A small improvement without having to erase years off your aging appearance. To me, I believe that is what the fuck is beauty. And honestly, women, I think a little gray hair, I think a couple of little age spots and a little couple of wrinkles are nothing to be ashamed of. But I also do have Botox, I have filler and I color my hair. But I do have fine lines and I'm going to own them. So the answer for myself is I am aging gracefully, but the question to you is what the fuck is beauty to you?

#Beauty #Beautytips #pocast #health & fitness #men #woman #skin #beauties

[blog-optimisticcoffeestuden-blog]

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I'm about to turn 16 and am starting to look at cars. Does anybody have an Infiniti coupe and how much is it to insure? I'm just north of Houston if that is a factor

Car insurance for 18 y.o. good driver Honda Civic or Honda Fit?

Car insurance for 18 y.o. good driver Honda Civic or Honda Fit? Which car will be cheaper to insure for an 18 year old male? 2009 Civic LX Sedan 2009 Fit Base Hatchback He is a very good driver and has no infractions, we live in a low crime area. Thank you! Would just like to know which would be cheaper to insure.""

Should I notify my car insurance company if I paid for the fix myself?

I had a minor car accident in a Costco parking lot last weekend. I was backing out my parking lot; the other guy was also backing out. Unfortunately, we didn't see each other... Anyway, this seems to be a 50-50 accident. The damage to the cars are moderate and we agreed on just fixing ourselves. So no personal information was exchanged. I got an estimate today. The cost for fixing my car is not cheap but still lower than the minimal requirement for accident reporting in California. It is also lower than my insurance deductible. So I plan neither to report to DMV nor to file a claim. But one friend of mine suggested that in this case, I should still notify (but not to file a claim to) my insurance company. His argument is that the other party can still come back and sue me (if he is a freak). While we didn't exchange information, the other party may have remembered my license plate number so theoretically he could find out all other information about me. But I am not sure if notifying the insurance company will affect my premiums. What do you think?""

Motorcycle provisional licence insurance costs?

Obviously, to learn to ride a motorcycle you sort of need your own bike with insurance, but roughly speaking, on an average standard bike, how much would that insurance be please? Anyone who has experience of this, I'd appreciate to here from especially! Thanks! (I've mastered the driving licence, so now I'm moving on to the bike licence, well, planning to). The bike would be no more than 120cc, with no more than an 11kW output. UK-based answers please, apparently the states makes it a lot cheaper to insure vehicles, jealous! Also, if you have any experience, please tell me when this was. (Insurance prices have gone up, again!) Thank you!""

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boq travel insurance quote

How does rbs insurance differentiate itself from it's competitors?

Hi, I'm filling out an internship form, and I'm stuck on this question.. Please help me! Thank you""

Question about car insurance?

I am about to get my first car ! but i have to wait until the guy at the car lot gives me the ok to pick it up but I was wondering about insurance do I get the car first and then get the insurance or vice versa? because what if something happens and I would get pulled over do I just say I just got the car and the insurance is about to start up? thanks in advance.

Mazda rx8 or 350z insurance ?

Id assume the 8 might have cheaper insurance to certain companies due to it having four doors lol But my question is I'm 19 and been looking at progressive and I have to pay $1200 every 6 months for one of these cars! I have a clean record and took the safety course too. Now if I was under my parent's insurance would that be possibly cheaper? Were doing that with the lexus I'm driving right now (theirs) but I need to build credit and whatnot... no need to worry bout college cause its paid off

""What is cheaper, car insurance or motorcycle insurance?""

What is cheaper, car insurance or motorcycle insurance?""

What does it take to fix a flooded car?

Last June, my town fell victim to river flooding. It's caused tons of damage and many cars to be flooded. I'm looking for a cheap car and I got on a rebuildable cars website. I found a newer car that is reasonable on gas and insurance, but is flooded. What would they have to do to fix it and about how much would it cost?""

Unfair car insurance?

My car was very old but in excellent working order. It has been written off in an accident that was not my fault. The insurance company will only pay me what it's worth, about 150. To get a reasonable second hand replacement will cost much more than this, and I cannot afford it. So I now have no car and cannot afford a replacement. Over the last few years I've paid thousands for insurance. Can the company do this, i.e not pay for an equivalent replacement, but pay what they think it's worth.""

Will my insurance agent report to my car bank that car is not covered no more.?

I'm with state farm. I been playing 190 monthly. Now they want me to pay 450 dollars. I just paid yesterday and my agent said my next due payment is due on 7th this month for 450 dollars. He said it was to be paid when I first got with state farm but I switched agents and now I am expected to pay next week. This is unfair and without fair notice. My insurance is going a cancle if not paid in weeks from now. What do I do. Is my car bank gonna find out car insurance got canceled. I was told it was 190 per month. I thought deposit was high but why 400 ?

Help with car insurance?

ok.. i just got a 1997 honda accord lx.. im 18 and a new driver.. but the car is in mine and my moms name every place we called it is over a hundred dollars just for state required ?? where is the cheapest place in shelbyville indiana.. i need car insurance and this is outrageous could anybody help me please

""Car Insurance, ammended details of profession lead to increased premium?""

My car insurance company rang me two weeks ago asking to update my details. I was previously registered as a student and unemployed but changed this to working part time as an admin assistant. A week ago I received my new certificate of insurance but today they rang me to say that my premium had increased by 150! I find this difficult to understand how changing my profession from student to admin could whack up my premium by this much. At the same time they offered me a new deal from another insurer , which they claimed would be cheaper, but I refused over the telephone as I felt too confused at the time. Now they told me that they will be sending me the bill to pay off the new increased premium. Can anyone help me confirm whether insurance companies can do this? I am not driving my car any more than I previously had and I cannot see as how my new job increases the risk of me having an accident!! Thanks""

Car insurance for LHD car ?

Hi there, I want to buy 2001-2004 year freelander (left hand drive), then drive to my country and insure it. I need insurance what would cover for two months on UK roads. Do you know any insurance company what would offer as cheap as possible and the possibility to cancel my insurance after 2 months ? Regards, Ed""

How is the mandate to buy car insurance different than the mandate to buy health insurance?

This seems to be a popular talking point among liberals. It saddens me that liberals are so partisan that they are blinded to the obviousness of the differences. So for the record, what are the two differences between the requirement to have car insurance and the requirement to have health insurance? 10 points goes to the most simplistic and straight to the point answer.""

How much does it really cost to own a Porsche 911 Carrera 4S in California? MSRP is...?

...$88,400. What other costs are there? http://www.porsche.com/usa/models/911/911-carrera-4s/ I am trying to own one of these. Just wondering what's is in store for me (i.e. tax, ...show more""

What type of car business insurance do i need?

i have a small take-away business and i want to let my employees to drive my car. i have 3 cars for my business. can you please give me list of websites

Car Insurance Temporary Additional Driver???

I already have a car insurance policy with Churchill. I am doing a very long journey this weekend and want to Insure my boyfriend for 3 days to help me with the drive. Is it possible to put someone on an existing policy for 3 days?? I take it there would be a cost involved.

""I need cheap car insurance, I'm in college?""

I'm 19, a college kid and need car insurance. I now it's going to be crazy high, but if anyone has any insight or tips to make it cheaper, it would me much appreciated.""

Would it be cheaper to put my name on my parents insurance ?

would it be cheaper to put my name as an additional driver instead of my own as i got the cheapest quote as 3000 euros for my own policy would it be cheaper to put my name as an additional driver on theres? my parents have 25-28 years experience with no claims ?

Does anyone know who is the cheapest for insurance for piaggio zip 50cc scooter?

Does anyone know who is the cheapest for insurance for piaggio zip 50cc scooter?

Does the Year of your Car affect Insurance Prices?

Does the Make of Your Car Affect How Much you are Charged for Insurance? Does the Year of Your Car Affect How Much you are Charged for Insurance? Does Having 2Doors Always Rise How Much you are Charged for Insurance? No Baby Answers.

Would a speeding ticket go to the lead insured or the owner of car?

my dad is the lead insured, my mum and i are named drivers, but my mum owns the car. Who would the speeding ticket be addressed to?""

What kind of life insurance should my husband get?

We are looking to get a life insurance policy for my 25 year old husband. We have three young children so we're trying to figure out what would best provide for the family if God forbid something were to happen to him.

How can i get cheap insurance?

Im 17 and i live in London. I just go my Licence and i have a 2k budget for a car. And my dad said he is going to pay for insurance as long as it is a max of 3k So far the cheapest quote i got was 5k for a VW Polo 1.4L Petrol. I want a diesel car because, my dad said he will pay for it. So need help deciding what car to get, and how to get insurance up to 3k Please help guys""

How come Americans can't afford medical insurance?

Yet we seem to have PLENTY of money to blow on Ipods, Itunes, Iphones, lap top computers, DVD players, flat screen TVs, designer clothing, fast food, porn, alcohol, cigarettes, and concert tickets?""

Insurance on ford focus?

i recently came across a cheap ford focus 2000 edition, and recently passed my test and just wondering what would the insurance be like? exspensive? i really like the car but i dont want it if the insurance will be a bomb""

How does american car insurance compare with british car insurance?

why can young people in the states drive nice, big, expensive cars, and in england it so expensive, and we struggle to get insured in england at a resonable price. you watch tv and they drive range rovers, and in england we drive old cars where the insurance cost more than the car. by the way i'm 18 years old anyone able to enlighten me?""

Help!!!! changing car insurance?

I called another company and had a quote with them and they offering me a way better price than my current insurance company... I wanna make a change.. what do I do? Do I have to call up the current insurance company and cancel the policy?

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boq travel insurance quote

Teen Car Insurance Price?

Currently driving my fathers old 2002 Mitsubishi Galant (basic 4-door car, nothing special), and planning on buying a Suburu BRZ (sports car) when I turn 18. My birthday is Dec. 25, I am currently 17 and I have had my license since I turned 16. I have a B average in school and I am planning on taking defensive driving also. I have had no claims or accidents at all. The car is just going to be for commute, probably about 13-17,000 miles a year (going to be traveling home from college). I will be on my parents insurance, but I was just wondering the quote. I tried doing it on a insurance website, however they don't give you a quote if you are under 18. I am planning on getting collision coverage. Thanks in advance.""

Car accident with no insurance?

I was stopped at a red light behind two cars. Both cars started to go and so did I the next thing I knew I had hit the car in front of me. The car in front of me hit the car in front of him. We all pulled over my car isnt to bad but I drive a suburban, the car in front of me was a smaller car so his looked a little worse. Nobody was hurt, and all cars were drivable, so we decided to not call the police we just all exchanged information. After we had finished and they left I immediately called my insurance lady to let her know what happened. I am not super clear on this next part, we have been going back and forth with our insurance since that call and will continue to fight it. When I called the insurance lady she said I wasnt covered. She said that they had received the last payment much later than it was due (not sure how because it was mailed the same time as always) but because of that our insurance had been cancelled. A couple of weeks ago they had chased our check, she said we were reinstated as of yesterday (the day of the accident) but because it was the same day they werent liable to pay the damages. We are going to keep fighting them because I dont think its fair. Even if they decide that they wont pay we can afford to just pay for the damages to the rear end of the car in front of us, because know matter what happened I am at fault for following to close. We cant afford to pay out of our pocket also for his front end and the rear end of the first car. Shouldnt those damages be covered by the car I hit because he was obviously following to close to the car in front of him? Im a little freaked out with all this, this is the first accident I have ever been in and we have always had insurance, so we thought. The insurance company did say they mailed us a cancellation notice but if they did we have never received one.""

Is Obama gonna make health insurance more affordable?

Is Obama gonna make health insurance more affordable?

""NYC Car insurance for 18 year old dude, please help.?""

Ok so heres the deal, I am 18, a guy, living in nyc and looking to buy my first car. Now my parents dont drive so Im on my own for insurance. Now Ive been shopping around to every large company and even small, and the lowest I could get a monthly payment down to was around $371 a month. That is the state minimum coverage with no collision coverage. Its gonna be used whatever I get so I dont need the collision. Now the help I need is if anyone knows any possible way to get anything cheaper, I can deal with something like $200-$250 a month. If anyone has a success story or knows any agents or brokers personally and could help, Id love to know. Now dont tell me I should go on a family member or something, thats not an option. Ive done all the research and been doing quotes 24/7. Now Im a student just trying to get to school and work safely and efficiently. I have a clean license nothing on it. Please and thank you for any help.""

""I'm 17 years old, and I'm going under my parents driver's insurance plan soon for driving, how much is it?""

My parents said I can drive now that I got a job, however I will have to go under their plan, and I'll have to pay the insurance. How much will it be? (:IMPORTANT NOTE: I took $1000 driving classes) So I'm guessing that will reduce the cost? Also I live in the state of PA and my parents are on AllState Insurance. So how much will the insurance be every month if I'm under my parents plan? AFTER I TOOK THOSE DRIVING CLASSES! And how long can I stay under my parents driving insurance? When will I NOT BE ABLE TO stay under my parents driving insurance? Or am I always able to stay under their driving insurance if I want to?""

A question about car insurance?

Does your insurance drop when you have a baby? I know it does when you get married, but I wasn't sure about having a baby. Thanks!""

""Lets be honest, will a 2000 mustang gt run a 17 year old over 150 per month on insurance?""

State or no state, tennessee. Will it run in 200's or more? Just need to know before i go looking. Don't give me your opinion, i get it has horses and can kick, im not looking for a preacher to praise down on me. thanks""

How much does car insurance cost.?

I am 18 and ready to get my drivers license but how much does car insurance cost per month on average.?

""I am 17, and I recently got my driver's license. Can I avoid being added to the insurance policy?""

Because my rates go really high, since I'm a new driver. If my cars receive minimal insurance, and they're insured under my parents' name, could I legally drive the cars and would the insurance pay for any liabilities?""

Insurance help! Tennessee?

My bf moved here from west virginia... he has to big health problems one life threatening... He needs cheap insurance but i dont know anything about insurance. hes 23. can anyone help me or know of any type of insurance??????? It would be appreciated..

Can I insure a car I don't own?

My dad bought me a car when I was 17, but its in his name. I still have that car and the insurance runs out at the end of the month. I'm tired of having him pay for things so I'm paying for my own insurance. He's going to sign the car over to me, but I will still need to get insurance on it and he probably won't transfer the title for a few more weeks. So, can I shop around for insurance rates and purchase and pay for my own insurance on the car, and include my husband as a driver, even though I don't own the car yet? Or does my dad need to transfer the title first? The problem we're running into is, I'm in Missouri, my dad is in Utah (where the car is currently registered), and I'm moving to California in 3 weeks.""

""Do professional race car drivers have life insurance and if so, how much does it cost?""

Do professional race car drivers have life insurance and if so, how much does it cost?""

Being sued by an insurance company?

Hello, I got in a car accident about two years ago and i didn't have insurance, i was found at fault and now im getting sued for $20,000 by the other driver's insurance company, The original amount was $17,000, They have been trying to collect for a longgg time now. I know i blew it off for a long time but now im ready to take responsibility and start trying to pay it. The car i was driving was under my moms name and they are trying to go after her also but i want to take full responsibility. I have to go to court next month, and im wondering if I should get a lawyer to represent me even though i'm guilty. I'm hoping that I can make a payment plan or anything I need to get my life back on track""

Graduating from college and need affordable health insurance. Suggestions Please?

I'm graduating from college in Chicago this year. My parents are kicking me off their insurance. Does anyone have any suggestions for affordable health insurance?

Average motorcycle insurance?

I'm 22 and I pay right at 100 a month for insurance. How much does a regular sports bike cost to add insurance on? I know it depends on the bike but for like a GSXR 600.

California Medical for teens?

I am 19 & i have no insurance at all and i was wondering if theres a way to get on the Medi-caid or medi-cal that the state offers to usually younge kids or pregnant women? can someone give me info?

How much do car rental agencies typically charge for insurance?

How much do car rental agencies typically charge for insurance?

What's the best car insurance company? Your experience?

I just purchased a new car and my family and I have about 4 cars currently under farmers insurance and pays way over $200 on car insurance...the dealer at the agency mentioned that he bought the same car and has 4 other cars with Nationwide and pays under $200 full coverage. In your experience and in your opinion from what you know or have experienced which insurance companys over the best service for your buck or offer great options. I think we are paying a lot and the options aren't that great. Thanks

How much for car insurance?

My mom told me to look for my first car and I found a 2002 Mitsubishi Eclipse GS, Silver, non-convertible, and i asked her if it was ok. She said that the it is considered a sports car because it is a coupe and insurance will be high, it has 2 seats in the back but it is a 2 door....can somebody tell me if insurance will actually be high for me...im 16 and ive never been a accident Thanks!""

Do I need insurance for my license?

I live in North Carolina, and I just got my license a few months ago. I don't have a car yet, but I was told that I needed insurance in order to have a license. So, I'm paying $80 a month for insurance, just for holding a license. My car savings aren't looking too good at this rate, so I was wondering if anyone knew of any cheaper insurance companies I could go with?""

Who does the cheapest 1 day car insurance?

UK

Do Car Insurance rates go up when being rear ended?

I was rear ended and it was NOT my fault. I live in California and have State Farm. Will my rates go up?

Does the insurance rate go up or more if I get my license?

Ok my mom and dad both have a car and they bought a car just for me. It already has insurance and license plate and everything. I'm planning on getting my license soon. So when I do would my dad have to pay for more money because of me driving it? I mean the insurance is on my dads name. Thx for replying.

Auto insurance rates in USA?

Auto insurance rates in USA?

What is the average insurance cost for a 2012 Chevy Cruze?

I will be turning 21 in June. No tickets or accidents on my record. What would the average monthly payment be for insurance?

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boq travel insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/average-insurance-cost-mercedes-benz-arthur-berry/"

[iannoyinglysweetstudent-blog]

online medical travel insurance quote

"online medical travel insurance quote

online medical travel insurance quote

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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online medical travel insurance quote

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Where is the cheapest place to get insurance for a 17 years old?

Where is the cheapest place to get insurance for a 17 years old?

What personal information can be revealed by a car insurance card?

Friend asked me for a copy of my car insurance card, said he needed it for something but didn't tell me what.""

Can i get a no insurance ticket if the car was insured but my name isn't under the insurance?

i got pulled over and i was driving my brothers car so the cop gave me a ticket for no insurance cause he said that my name wasnt under the insurance. If i go to court and show the insurance that i had in the car will they still fine me?

""As an owner-operator, working for the big taxi company, what kind of insurance do I need on the cab?""

I'm in California. I'm working as a cabbie for that big taxi company with the brightly colored cabs. You know, the one everybody thinks of first. I just bought my own taxi car and it's being converted into a taxi which I will drive for the company. The boss has given me an insurance card, and he says this is the only insurance I need. But I'm worried about it, because the taxi car will also be used a little as my private vehicle, you know, like to drop off my kid at school, or pick up groceries, etc. If anyone knowledgeable can shed some light on this for me, I'd appreciate it. Thank you.""

Fraudulent car insurance claim against me?

hi my problem in a nutshell is my vehicle was hit in the rear while it was parked, when i confronted the driver we had an argument and the police were called no offences were committed and the police left after me and the other driver exchanged names and addresses. A month or so later i received a claim for neck injuries to the driver and his 2 passengers for approximately 20,000 for an accident that he said i drove into the rear of him which was totally false, i have witnesses which include the police officer who attended to the fact that the other driver hit my parked unattended car, i have lost my no claims bonus and i applied for a job as a driver which i did not get because of this pending claim, my insurance company have tried to contact the other driver who has not answered for a number of months and when i spoke to my insurance company i was informed that the other parties insurance company does not have the full story i.e they have not been told that he hit my vehicle and i have witnesses to prove that i am at a loss because i have been told it can take 3 years for the claim to close if the other driver does not answer any of the correspondence he receives. any advice please""

""Just got my M1 , wondering what kind of motorcycle I should look at? ( price/Insurance wise )?""

I have my eye on the Suzuki 500 gs , Since its considered a Touring sport, I will have cheaper insurance... Any suggestions on some motorcycles, I live in Ontario Canada. Thanks""

""What is the best, cheapest, online car insurance on the internet?

For FULL COVERAGE

Which company deals with indemnity title insurance for remortgaging?

I want to remortgage my property and have been given an offer by a lender, however I can't complete without indemnity title insurance. Norwich Union no longer does title insurance due to the credit crunch, is there anyone else who can help me?""

Can my parents insure my car?

Planing on fianacing a car with my father a cosigner can he insure my car? Has anyone done this before? Or is currently doing this?

Does anyone know an insurance company that will insure expensive cell phones?

AT&T will not insure its own cell phone if it costs too much money. (phones like the Iphone, Tilt, and Duo, among several others) Any phone above $300 dollars before contract and ...show more""

Is kit car insurance cheaper?

Hi, Just wondering if kit car insurance is cheaper than normal insurance for a 17 year old?""

""Car insurance, Am i being Ripped off?""

so Im 18, and my brother is claiming that my dad has been ripping me off on car insurance for the past year since Ive had my 99 coralla, its a beat up car. I pay $70 a month, where my brothers gf is only paying $10, I have only liability, we are with country financial or whatever and Im under my dad, and my dad has three cars with them, so his insurance is like 30+ for full coverage each car. So is 70 bucks justifiable for me or is my dad lying to me, i never seen the bill, ive always have given him money when he told me to give it to him. (i do understand that my age causes my insurance to go up) im just curious before I confront him.""

Cheapest Car Insurance Company In NY?

Hey i am really need to help with car insurance. Is my first time buying a car and i am really looking for a good deal for a car insurance company here in NY. Either the cheapest or the one that you personally recommend for my age (21 years old) I really appreciate your time. I have been searching for a lot of them before i make a call.

Car insurance in California?

Is it true that if you are financing a car you HAVE to have car insurance??

online medical travel insurance quote

online medical travel insurance quote

Why are teens against high auto insurance?

Why are teens against high auto insurance?

Car insurance without a license? Help?

Hi. So my dad just bought me a car in Chicago. We live in North carolina. I need to transfer the title and get it registered, but i think i need insurance first. I also need proof of insurance to get my license. I dont know who will give me insurance without a license and a car that hasnt been transfered into my name yet in North carolina. So what do I do? what insurance companies have policies for somebody like me where i can spend a decent amount. I'm think 250 max a month. and yeah my parents dont wanna put me on their insurance.""

Is car insurance cheaper with a new vehicle or old vehicle?

I am 21 and married and we are trying to buy a car. we don't care if its new or used but we are wondering if the car insurance quote will be cheaper with a new or old car.

""If insurance companies are so evil, why buy insurance?

If insurance companies are so evil and make obscene profits; why not take your money and put it into the bank until you need it for health care?

Is the presidents plan to get everyone insured but no one covered?

The Affordable Care Act is a pro-insurance-industry plan implemented by a president. You have to closely look at your plans. Know what illnesses you are going to come down with. See what kind of medications you will need. Know all the advanced medical care needed and the facilities needed. Then insure they are in your plan. That is only the easy part. When you sign up. You should daily check to see if you are covered. People are going to emergency rooms thinking they are covered when they are not. Democrat have an answer to out of network medications and doctors. Pay out of pocket. Democrats say it is personal responsibility to know every disease facilities and medications needed for every conceivable disease. Then insure they are in your plan. Democrats have your best interests at heart when they insure your sex life is listed in your medical record. Democrats would never misuse sex or gun information requested in Obama Care by looking in the electronic records. They are safer then the doctor putting them in a file and keeping them in their office. Now they keep it in their office and a database that Obama can access.

How does health insurance work in the USA?

I wanna visit but I keep hearing crazy stories of how going to a hospital makes you bankrupt :/

Why are so many Americans losing their health insurance plans due to the Affordable Health Care Act/Obamacare?

Is there serious corruption in the health insurance industry? Would that have something to do with it? Why would so many health care professionals like doctors and dentists have problems with the Affordable Health Care Act/Obamacare? By the way, I'm keeping my employer based plan.They're not changing it, and, it's through my union.No one else in my store is changing theirs,either.""

How can i claim for a new alternator under insurance- it cost me 400?

I am selling my car, and I would like to get some cash from my insurance policy. I just had a new alternator fitted 2 weeks ago- any ideas??""

Does anyone know the best way to get insurance leads?

i'm looking for a way to get insurance leads, I would rather own software myself as appose to paying for an individual leads, can anyone tell me the name of a some good software? thanks in advance!""

Is there insurance for replica cars(EX. Replica Lamborghini Countach).?

Is there insurance for replica cars(EX. Replica Lamborghini Countach). OR Do you just say to the insurance company the donor car used to build the Replica(EX Pontiac Feiro)($3-5K) So they cover only the car used and just treat the replica kit as just additon stuff(EX like adding more exspensive RIMS to a VW). Is the replica insurance cheaper then a real cars insurance. EX Replica Lamborghini Countach($25K)(V6 Engine, Pontiac Fiero) VS. REAL 1988 Porsche 911 ($25k)(V6 Porsche Engine) Do 21st auto Insuracne company have Replica Car insurance and/or will they cover just the donor car used to build the Replica.""

How much would insurance be on a dodge stealth?

i am going to be sixteen and i may be buying a 92 stealth and i need to know how much insurance would be. it is only a 5,000 dollar car. but the speed meter goes to 160mph.""

Whats a good car from the year 1996 to 2002 for a 16 year old boy so that the insurance is cheaper?

Whats a good car from the year 1996 to 2002 for a 16 year old boy so that the insurance is cheaper?

Where can I get Car Insurance for over 80 year olds?

Where can I get Car Insurance for over 80 year olds?

Car Insurance for 18 Year Old Girl? :P?

I am wondering how much my insurance will be once I have gotten my full license. I would be getting it for 6 months only and on my mother's car. I live in Ireland and am 18 years old. Any help would be great :) Thanks :D

Car insurance-what happens if I crash ! and the car insurance is in someone elses name?

I'm down as a second driver of my mums car.if there was some sort of accident/crash what would happen? Yes the insurance would go up but would it go on my mums record or mine?

Whats the best multi car insurance company?

I live 5 miles from work. got a great driving record and i own 3 plus cars one daily driver the others i only drive not even 3000 a year just toys i like to keep im single and sick of pulling insurance off and on just to say id rather just pay a decent price to cover them all my daily driver is like 250 and my van i havnt even drove this year they want the same along with another 300 for a truck. Is there a insurance company that realises im one person and collectors plates mean i barley drive these things! please only respond if you have more then one car insured and have tryed a couple diff companys

Alamo insurance coverage?

i am going to renting a car through Alamo and i only have liability coverage through my insurance plan,how much will it cost for 10 days of coverage? what are my options?""

How much would car insurance cost for me?

I'm 21 years old and I have had my driver's license for 2 years. however i still have not been able to drive since i am a poor college student and cannot afford anything. however i will be graduating soon as a registered nurse and will get a job. So i would like to know the price range for car insurance just to have an idea. thanks.

""Is car insurance on a coupe, two seater car really that expensive?

or is it only like $20 extra as compared to a regular four door? my mom makes it sound like its another hundred....

Car Insurance. 50/50?

I was in a minor car accident like a month ago. and they've finally almost resolved the claim. It's probably going to be 50/50, now how will that work out in terms of money?? As in, I had an estimate of the cost it would have took to fix my damage, am I gonna get half of that?""

Would health insurance be valid in all states or just in the one you bought it in?

I am currently in Houston Texas and I wish to receive health insurance. I will be moving back and forth between Texas and Utah. I wish to know if health insurance here in Texas will be valid in Utah. I think this is a pretty uninformed question but that is why I am asking and I am only 18 so I do not have to much experience in this matter. If you know of a website I could look into to be informed then that would be very well.

How much will my car insurance cost?

(I dont know anything about cars or insurance so please bare with me!)Okay so i'm 20, female and I have a Vauxhall Corsa 1998. I got it when i was 19 and i'm paying A LOT for my insurance- 199 a MONTH! This is my first car and I bought it in December 2011. Anyway, its due for renewal in October. Im insured third party fire and theft. Bought the car for 600, I live in London. My question is how much will my insurance cost when i renew it? The reason i'm asking is because I don't want to call my insurance company and ask them, cos if they tell me a price and its still very high i'll just panic and agree to it without looking around. Will it go down by much? I haven't made any claims or anything like that!! my excess is 250 if it helps. Thanks! ... I realise that you probably won't be able to give me accurate quote- but anything will help!""

What is the oldest year car I can buy without paying for collision insurance?

I want to buy a new car in the 2000's. I know that when you a brand new car you have to pay for collision insurance and I don't want to have to pay for that. What is the oldest year car that I can buy without having to worry about the collision insurance?

How do i get my insurance quotes lower for driving?

im 17 and i want to insure a car but every quote i get is allways about 4000 - 10000, is the any way i could get them lower on my quotes? like having another person as a driver and things like that?""

Insurance rate?

Is it more money (insurance wise) for a new driver to drive a new car or a used car. Give an estimate of how much more?

online medical travel insurance quote

online medical travel insurance quote

How much is car insurance in NY state if your 17?

Ive been looking for how much car insurance is in ny if your 17 but i cant find it. My mom doesnt want to pay for it so i have to pay for it myself. Can someone tell me how much it costs?

What laws if any must car insurance companies follow when responding to a claim?

It seems that the only remedy if an insurance claim in Ontario cannot be resolved is to take the issue to court. The average driver may not be aware of any legislation that may force insurance companies to meet certain deadlines.

Cheap Auto Insurance (Liability)?

I need to register my tags which has expired. I know I need to be insured before doing so. I am looking for an Insurance company whom would insure me today with all proper documentation (today) . Does anyone know of such a company with affordabile rates? Ex: $45.00 or less monthly. I live in Georgia outside Atlanta.

Why can't I get car insurance?

I passed my driving test on the 11/10/12 I am not the registered owner on the V5 Log Book, my father is already insured on the vehicle that will be handed over to me as a shared car yet, I can't get my own insurance because I had one claim as a provisional license back in 2010, would it be better to go as an additional driver on my fathers policy or somehow resolve the problem as be the policy holder myself. Also my father admits he will be no longer needing the car when the insurance expires, but what do I do? just to be able to drive my car as I've only recently passed and want to go out for a drive!!!! Will the log book eventually need to be in my name so I can insure it? Also I'm having great difficulty with the claims, I can't seemed to be insured just because of a motorcycle accident claim that wasn't even my fault! thanks.""

Can you purchase Life Insurance on someone without their knowledge or approval?

Would not the documents require the Insured's signature? How can someone 'get away' with this? Is it not considered unethical or illegal? 110509 8:42

Has anyone used Young Driver Insurance ? With CO OP?

Im searching for cheap car Insurance, I came across CO OP Young Car Insurance, Been Quote 1700 with my 1 years no claims and been driving for 4 years. Without CO OP insurance confused website I did the same search was quoted 2500. Has anyone had CO OP young Insurance can you tell me the Pros and Cons of this Insurance Company, Also if I was driving at 35MPH in a 30zone would I banned from the Insurance company.""

When does insurance go down for minors? at 18 or 21?

im wondering because i am getting a car and i am 17 and i am wondering if i should just wait till im 18 to get it cheaper or if i should just be on my parents plan

""Ohio motorcycle insurance, 18 years old.?

I want to buy a motorcycle and I have the money but the only question I have is where I can find reasonable insurance rates. I am 18 and have never owned a motorcycle before. I am interested in buying a 1970's Kawasaki 400. Can someone give me advice or point me in the right direction regarding insurance?

Georgia Car Insurance?

If i'm moving to Georgia it states that I have 30 days to register my car and I need to get car insurance within those 30 days. If i'm looking around for insurance am I allowed to drive with an out of state insurance during those 30 days? Please give a absolute answer not something that you are guessing.

Got a ticket for no insurance?

An officer pulled me over for not using my blinker. He gave me a ticket for that and not having insurance. The problem is I have insurance, I just had an expired card in my car. I don't remember getting the knew ones in the mail and I had just forgotten about it. I know I pay my preimum every month because it is taken out of my checking account electornically. The officer didn't believe me. I even told him he could call my insurance company to verify. He refused to do so. I am very upset. He could have spent 5 minutes calling my company, instead I have to spend several hours going to court to get this cleared up. Is it true that officer doesn't have to call a company if he doesn't want to? Shouldn't it be a department policy that he verify insurance if someone asks him to?""

About how much does insurance cost for a 16 year old male in new Mexico cost????????

About how much does insurance cost for a 16 year old male in new Mexico cost????????

Is It A Good Idea To Get Rental Car Insurance?

I was posed that question yesterday when I rented a car.

Getting Car Insurance?

I'm getting married and because I'm moving to another state I'm having to switch from one insurance for my car to another. My question is this, how much up front money will it cost to get insurance for me and my wife? For example, will they need a deposit, or expect a certain number of months up front? Also if anyone could refer me to a good insurance company, I live in Alabama near Birmingham I 'm considering either state farm or alfa. Thanks!""

Is Health care affordable in the U.S? How much insurance do you need?

I hear alot of propaganda from fellow Canadians that its bad in the U.S. Is this true? I figured if you can pay 3,000 to 4,000 a year to your health insurance comany you are pretty much protected, true or false? I would like to know the truth. Thank YOu""

Home & Auto Insurance Rip-Off?

My home & Auto insurance has doubled thisyear. I called today to ask why as I had no claims or tickets. The reason I was told was the new way that rates are based. My agent said that your credit score is now used in the calculation of your rate. With one credit card that I pay off in full monthly and never a late payment nor any outstanding debt i would think I should have scored high on my credit report. I feel by being fiscally responsible I am being ripped off by the insurance companies by this foolish way of rating policies. are their any other insuance companies that still rate you the old fashioned way by your record?

""No health insurance, now what?""

for the last 3months ive had numbness in both my arms and feet, i believe its a pinch nerve, as of now i have no health coverage until january cause i applied late for it through work. am i doing the right thing by waiting , i cant afford to pay for a doctor, medical bills are expensive, what would you do""

Will my insurance be raised because someone else got a ticket in my car?

My boyfriend was driving my car and got a texting ticket. Will my insurance rate increase?

How can we get health insurance?

My Fiance (22) and I (18) are planning to get married November 30th, but if we do, I will no longer be covered by my mother's health insurance. We live in NY (currently Broome County) and we need cheap to free health insurance. At the moment, both of us (full-time students) have an income of zero, with no pay stubs (obviously) or other proofs of income. How can we get health coverage?""

What is the cheapest car insurance in michigan?

I am looking for cheap car insurance I live in battle creek mi. I am 22 years old and on ssi. I have autism diagnosis. And I want to be able to get a car I do not have a license right now. But can get one social worker told me that. I would be allowed to drive. I do not own a car right now. But I have $2000 save up for a car. Before I take anymore steps I need to find out if i can afford insurance. I have about $30-$45 to spend a month on insurance for a car. That cost about $2000 I only need the bare minimum that will allow me to drive with a license legally. Dose anyone know where in i can get cheap car insurance? Any help would be greatly appreciated.Thanks

Teen insurance question?

this is just a hypothetical question. but say your 16 and got a bmw 528i, 2008 version. what would your insurance rate be? including the following: you took drivers ed. family has 3 cars, so add the car into that pile. etc. thanks. ****JUST WONDERING****""

Can anyone recommend any car insurance companies to me that are pretty cheap?

Just bought a new car yesterday and need to get it insured before i go pick it up. I'm a 19 year old female and passed my test on august 27th last year so havent even been driving a year yet...dunno if that helps at all lol the cheapest quote i got so far is 920 annual...does anyone think this is the cheapest i'll get.

Paying to transfer insurance?

I brought a car a few years ago and I'm still not sure how state farm insurance works. Do you have to pay to have your insurance transfer over? I'm under my mothers policy still and our bill is combined. Can someone please help me? I'm buying a new car tomorrow and want to be prepared before. Thank you Only reason I'm asking is because when I first brought a car earlier this year state farm wanted 350 bucks on the spot while I was at the dealer ship. I don't want that to happen again. 28 minutes ago

Car insurance Age: 18?

How much is insurance on average for a 18 year old in the UK

Does it cost more to insure a house with a pool?

We are thinking of buying a house with a pool but we heard that it costs a lot for home owners insurance.Is that true? How much more compared to a home without one (approximately). Thanks

Is there any low health insurance with low deductible?

I already have an insurance, but my parents don't and my dad can't really afford paying high prices, especially now. I was looking for affordable health insurance with low deductibles because my mom needs to see a doctor really soon and I don't want to delay it because of money issues. Please if you know of any affordable plans tell me. Thank you""

online medical travel insurance quote

online medical travel insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-rates-tied-credit-score-logan-peters/"

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 16: Pay it forward

On Christmas, SB Nation’s RedZone diarist looks back on a season of football and parenting

Christmas is difficult, even if you like it. As the days grow shorter, the responsibilities mount. You need to buy more gifts than is financially responsible. Buy and decorate a tree. Purchase and send Christmas cards. Arrange travel during the most difficult season to travel. And if you’re a parent, there’s a whole other slew of things to be bought and baked and dropped off at school.

Perhaps you are the kind of person who buys gifts throughout the year, then labels and stores them in a logical place. Maybe you can come home after a long day of work and crank out 30 Christmas cards while listening to Bing Crosby. I am not that person. I abuse my Amazon Prime membership to get gifts delivered in time, and I still end up shopping on Christmas Eve, which is also when I wrap gifts. The holiday cards we send — kids smiling, bullet points about the family — inevitably get mailed in the days after Christmas. (They say “Happy New Year” for a reason.)

On Friday, my grandmother had a massive aneurysm near her heart. She survived surgery but lost a kidney; the doctors said that similar conditions are fatal 90% of the time, and of the 10% who survive, 90% never leave the hospital again.

And of course I hadn’t sent her card yet. I dashed off an attempt to be positive, commending her toughness through the ordeal, which wasn’t over. I dropped it in the mail, and she died 12 hours later.

She never met my kids, but that didn’t stop her from lavishing them with gifts on their birthdays and Christmas. I called infrequently and visited less. And because of who I am, a bullshit deadline artist who can’t work ahead of schedule, a nice old lady didn’t get to see a couple more pictures of her great-grandchildren before she died.

I woke up to the news on Christmas Eve morning. My wife asked if I needed a few minutes. “I think so?” I said, and she went to get the kids up. But they were attuned to my absence. My son caught a glimpse of me in the doorway, and he ran to me yelling, “DADDY! DADDY!” with my daughter in hot pursuit. I gathered them in my arms and told them that I loved them, and if they didn’t see my tears, it’s only because they don’t yet understand that I’m fallible, flawed.

I wept because I can never repay the love I’ve gotten. I wept because I can only pay it forward.

In lieu of play-by-play of Week 16 RedZone action, this week’s NFL Dad is a retrospective on the season so far.

Week 1: Tony Romo’s announcing debut

Football: Tony Romo in the announcing booth is “like breathing pure oxygen after YEARS of Phil Simms leaking carbon monoxide into my home.” Elsewhere, Tom Savage gets mauled by the Jags for six sacks in the first half, and Bill O’Brien accidentally discovers that Deshaun Watson is his franchise quarterback.

Parenting:

Quick story from the kids’ birthday party. One of the dads there had a thick orange cast on his hand. He was a bookish guy: slim, glasses, graying hair and gray beard neatly trimmed — a Brooklyn Dad like many other Brooklyn Dads. One of the other dads gestured to his cast and said, “What happened?”

He sighed. “I smashed it pretty bad at Burning Man.” A long pause, and none of us interrupted it. He added: “... as one does.”

Week 2: Sick kids and dog vomit

Football:

In Pittsburgh, Sam Bradford is a late scratch due to his knee rejecting last week’s touchdown implant. Case Keenum will start, and if I had a bookie I would put my salary on the Steelers today.

Parenting:

My daughter broke her clavicle last week. It’s a common injury for young children, not just Tony Romo. She fell out of a chair a few minutes before we had to leave for her second day of preschool, and I didn’t think it was a serious injury at the time. “We have to go! Can’t miss the second day of school!” was my thinking. I should be an NFL team doctor.

So she’s in a sling for Week 2 of the NFL season (and for the next four weeks) while my son happily toddles around the house. Just kidding! My son is battling a 102-degree fever and an ear infection. Ha HA! Let’s watch some football!

Week 3: Protests, Naps, and Guacamole

Football: The 0-2 Saints start doing wild stuff like playing defense in their win over the Panthers; the insane ending to first half of Steelers-Bears deserves revisiting; Deshaun Watson’s brilliance isn’t enough to overcome the Pats in New England; the Eagles need a 61-yard field goal at the end of the game to beat the Giants.

Parenting:

My son’s other obsession tonight — besides smashing his face into the couch — is the hokey-pokey. He’s no good at putting his hand in and shaking it all about, but he DOMINATES at turning around. He spins around in circles until he careens left and crashes into the credenza. He thinks it’s hilarious. He is correct.

Week 4: Disney Princesses are a scourge

Football: Antonio Brown gets angry and flips a Gatorade cooler; the Dolphins get shut out in London while Jay Cutler’s no-effort Wildcat play goes viral; Dalvin Cook’s season ends with an ACL tear; the Jets beat the Jaguars in overtime; the Bucs defense is so bad that Eli Manning scores on a 14-yard scramble.

Parenting:

With the exception of Moana and maybe Frozen, the rest of the Disney princesses are a scourge on parenthood. The Disney Princess Industrial Complex essentially operates like the anti-vaccine movement. No matter how many parents want to raise their daughters to be action-oriented, independent problem solvers, there’s always a nanny or a grandmother who’s pushing Sleeping Beauty or Snow White (which are the SAME DAMN STORY), and that shit spreads like the plague.

And regardless of your feelings on feminism, the message isn’t a great one to send your kids. “Got a problem? Just go to sleep and someone will take care of it.” That only works if your dad owns an NFL team.

Week 5: Apple picking season

Football: Myles Garrett gets a sack on his first NFL snap; the Browns finally get their first lead of the season (it doesn’t last); Ben Roethlisberger throws five INTs, including consecutive pick-sixes, in a blowout to the visiting Jags; Odell Beckham suffers a season-ending injury; HOOOOO-WEEEEE look at this Cassel-Cutler shootout at the half.

Matt Ufford

Parenting:

My son is up from his nap. He sleepily staggers over and throws his arms around me in a big hug. I know that doesn’t really pop off the screen as anything special, but trust me when I say my brain is FLOODED with dopamine from his carefree smile and chubby arms.

This is the bone that human biology throws to parents. “Oh, is every day with a young child the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced? FINE, bathe in the warmth of infinite love.” And all of us stupid parents are like, “Oh, yeah, that’s good. This is worth surrendering my house to childproofing measures and chiming plastic bullshit.”

Week 6: Daughter’s birthday party; Aaron Rodgers injured

Football:

The Falcons were 11.5-point favorites at home, and they lost to Jay Cutler. Gonna have to fumigate the whole stadium after that one.

Parenting:

My daughter runs into the room wearing a pink cape. She eats a tortilla chip that my son discarded on the couch. “I’m a superhero!” she says.

“What’s your superhero name?” I ask.

“HMMMMM.” She has obviously not done the groundwork on her origin story.

“Are you the Pink Crusader?”

“Yeah!” She runs out of the room, then runs back in. “I’m a superhero!”

“What’s your superhero name?” I ask again.

She yells, “The Pink Crusader!” Again, she runs out of the room.

She runs back in and stops in front of me. She casually leans an arm on the couch and says, “I’m the Pink Crusader.”

Week 7: Pumpkin flavored everything

Football:

The Bears earned zero first downs in the second half and became the first NFL team to win with fewer than five completed passes since ... the last time John Fox coached in the NFL. I’d rather have a block of cement coach my team.

Also, Joe Thomas tears his triceps :(

Parenting:

My sister had kids years before I did, and I was the typical ignorant drunk uncle when it came to her devotion to the kids’ naps and schedule. “What’s with the schedule? Why can’t the kids just power through this one time?” Because the schedule is GOD, man! The schedule is all powerful. It is the weather; it is the earth beneath your feet. Reject it and your life will be untethered from reality, a nonstop maelstrom of tears and tantrums.

Week 8: Halloween is my daughter’s Super Bowl

Football:

The Texans-Seahawks barnburner owns the late afternoon games. And while Deshaun Watson and Russell Wilson will rightly be remembered as the stars of the game, I’d like to point out that at one point Pete Carroll challenged a Wilson incomplete pass, claiming it was a fumble. The challenge was successful, and the fumble forward was good for a first down. That game was WILD.

Parenting:

MIRACLE: Both of my kids are eating their dinner without complaint or hesitation. They ignore the TV to pay attention to the Halloween book my wife is reading. Years from now, when their grade school teacher praises their attention spans, I’m gonna get up in the middle of the parent-teacher conference and do Mick Jagger’s rooster strut.

Week 9: Daylight Savings and Football Fights

Football: Julio Jones drops a wide-open touchdown in the end zone on 4th down; Tyreke Hill scores on an end-of-half Hail Mary that was 40-plus yards short of the end zone (the Alex Smith special); A.J. Green and Jaelen Ramsey are both ejected after Ramsey provokes the normally calm Green into an MMA takedown.

Parenting:

I want to make it clear that when your 18-month-old child usually naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon, then circumvents that with a 25-minute doze before noon, you don’t just have an awake kid instead of a sleeping kid. You have a walking tire fire instead of two hours of silence. I will run for office and/or lead a revolution to eliminate seasonal clock changes.

Also, this memory would be lost forever if not for this dumb column:

[My daughter] brings over a small bowl of cashews, climbs onto the couch, and sits next to me. I say, “Oh, you brought me cashews!” as I take one, because Stock Dad is the role I was born to play. But then she feeds me a cashew, so I feed her one. And we go on that way until the bowl is empty. There’s football on TV, I guess.

Week 10: Poop. Poop everywhere.

Football: In the fantasy crime of the year, the Saints score six touchdowns on the ground while Drew Brees throws for none; rampant stupidity at the end of Chargers-Jaguars leads to overtime; John Fox challenges his team having 1st and goal at the 2, resulting in a Bears turnover. Coaching Move of the Year.

Parenting:

It’s weird the different stages kids can be at despite being similar sizes. My daughter, at age 3, is capable of having a conversation and expressing her feelings with words. My son, 18 months, understands everything we say, but is less a human than an organic chaos engine. The kid does forward-facing trust falls off stairs.

Week 11: National Interception Day

Football: Jay Cutler throws three interceptions in the first half, Alex Smith throws two against the Giants (including one on a shovel pass), Shane Vereen and Travis Kelce both throw picks on trick plays, and Nathan Peterman tosses FIVE on 14 passing attempts in a single half against the Chargers. Also, this Brock Osweiler interception is my favorite play of the year:

PICK-6-OHHH NO! Dre Kirkpatrick nearly has a 101-yard PICK-6... But fumbles inside the 5. Wow. #CINvsDEN http://pic.twitter.com/zUyPI5Q0xZ

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

Parenting:

My daughter is 3 years old and has still never seen Moana (or any movie), but frequent exposure to the soundtrack and a couple of plot points — “Moana has to save her people” — gives my daughter enough information to guide her body language, and we can see it in the way she play-acts.

When she’s Cinderella, I have to pretend to put a gown on her, and we dance together at the ball. When she’s Rapunzel, she flips her hair around; Ariel, and she holds up a scarf as a bikini. But when she’s Moana, she throws her shoulders back, struts with purpose, and thrusts her fist into the air — something she’d only previously done when saying, “I’m Batman!”

Week 12: Things fall apart

Football: Alex Smith implodes (again); Julio Jones destroys the Bucs; Broncos-Raiders is barely underway before the main event, Crabtree-Talib II: The Re-Snatchening.

Parenting:

I’m familiar with the schools of thought that say you shouldn’t incentivize potty training, and that’s how we started off, too. Then my daughter started holding in poops for several days before struggling to crank out the hardened rock in her butt, and we implemented a multi-tiered system of bribes that would put FIFA to shame.

Week 13: Christmas season!

Football: Tom Brady yells at Josh McDaniels; Eli Manning’s ironman streak is snapped by McAdoo-induced self-benching; the Jets-Chiefs shootout ends in Marcus Peters throwing a referee’s flag into the stands.

Parenting:

The kids play Ring Around the Rosie, and at the end of the song, only my daughter falls down. She looks at me from her back. “I just scored a touchdown.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask.

“I’m the Seahawks!”

My wife cuts in. “If you were the Seahawks, you wouldn’t get in the end zone so easily.” HARSH, WOMAN.

Week 14: SNOWBALL!

Football: LeSean McCoy carries the Bills to an overtime win over the Colts in a blizzard; Cam Newton single-handedly defeats the Vikings; the Browns choke away a two-touchdown lead against Brett Hundley’s Packers to keep their winless record intact; the Eagles-Rams heavyweight bout lives up to its billing, but Carson Wentz is lost to a torn ACL.

Parenting:

Before I had kids, diapers were the thing I feared most about parenthood. Which is stupid, because the thing you end up fearing most in the entire world is your own mortality. Diapers are fine.

That said, I just changed a diaper filled with the scent of death and campaign promises.

Week 15: Get used to disappointment

Football: Aaron Rodgers returns to save the Packers’ season, but the Panthers win to kill their dreams; Nick Foles coolly throws four touchdowns in his first start in relief of Wentz; catch rule shenanigans continue, with the ending of Patriots-Steelers the most pear-shaped; Teddy Bridgewater retakes the field to throw an interception.

Parenting:

Two- and 3-year-old kids have moods like the weather: Sometimes a thunderstorm hits, and there’s not much you can do but hole up and wait for it to pass. Eventually, the sun breaks through like nothing happened. As a parent, you feel your child owes you an explanation or apology for the 30 minutes you just lost, but you’ll get none. The weather has changed. You may as well shout at the sky, demand an explanation from the passing clouds.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Thank you for dealing with me and my kids this season. NFL Dad will be back with an especially loaded Week 17 edition next week.