#I don't think people roleplaying your ocs is even a thing anywhere else

[souscramble]

obsidian looks so tempting but im really intimidated to use it ... i noticed that it's not like Google docs where i can just send the link to someone and they can read it either. id need to publish it i guess and that's a specific service...

venting ahoy 🥶

it's 5:47am as i type so it makes sense that im tired but i can't help but feel unmotivated to write about my ocs... i just really idk . i know you're supposed to do art and shit for yourself but im not that fucking enlightened... if nobody is going to pay attention to it i won't do it, shrimple as that...

i could probably draw other things to practice my art skills right? but the only thing i NEED to draw are reference sheets for ocs.

i NEED to design a stuffed animal type character so i can commission these people if they open commissions. but i don't have a Sense of self so it's impossible for me to Even be satisfied with anything i draw. if i end up owning this thing irl how much will i care about it? because ive done this before without a proper ref and paid the price... i don't hate him but i don't love him either. pressured myself for paying 300 for a 20cm still from an artist i never even heard of nor did i like them or their style

i NEED to draw Rodney so i can finally have a reference for one of my ocs. he has a full backstory, side characters, relationships, and id like to talk about him, but only a small group of people actually know him bc i had a horse to represent him on ponytown and i actually roleplayed with him. my friends have a sense of his character. i can't talk about him with anyone else bc nobody would ever read a Google doc on a mf they can't see, but how ridiculous is it to put a horse up. i did that on my last doc in an attempt to do it for me and nobody else but let's be real it doesn't matter how much of a friend you are im sure it's embarrassing and cringe so i won't be sharing that doc again sorry for wasting your time, and my own time! he needs a proper ref but i can't draw his hair. i don't want him to have bangs but i jmgffhckydkfullufdul can't draw hair with no bangs. everyone i draw is too cute anyway. nobody would ever care if he was just in a cute silly style like i usually do for everything.. nobody would think he's a complex character. just a really lame design i should sell on DA

these are the only things i need to draw and everything else feels like a waste of time. i don't have time to practice to learn and change my style but even when i do have the time i just feel so fucking exhausted i don't want to live anymore like. just being anywhere is exhausting bc im always expected to clean up after others and it feels like nobody gets me... id really love to live alone if i could afford it but everywhere around here would probably suck even though i don't want to leave this neighborhood p

im just so tired maybe it's because i just woke up it's 6:05 i just want to be someone else if i were if o if i looked better id be more confident if i was more interesting and had better struggles growing up then id be interesting and have character and personality besides won't attention seeker. can't believe i got 0% histrionic on that test like no i need people. iv love my friends but i need strangers who don't even know who i am to admire me. i need supporters and fans that I'll never talk to i need to not be just a random person standing at a bus stop i need people to think im attractive and interesting and they want to get to know me and then they do and find out im talented and smart and interesting, not weird, introverted, and ugly, and yet i can't shut up about things nobody cares about. if i were handsome or cute im sure they would care about whatever bullshit i have to say. ugh

it's not fair why can't everyone just be beautiful and happy why do there have to be unattractive people in the world what the hell did we do to you why do we need to learn to love ourselves this literally sucks and it's detrimental to my health i wish i could go change my appearance and start my life over. would be fun to compare

#sou unhappy

[onebizarrekai]

is it okay to make fanart for dreamswap? /gen (i haven’t been here in a while and idk if the policy has changed)

yeah bro do whatever you want! my faq's not out of date so you can check that out for future reference.

#seems wack to have nonprofessional policies #my faq's kinda sparse but like #you know #it's so weird how some of the questions in there #they're particularly geared towards stuff I got a lot in the utmv #so they might be less relevant now #like roleplaying was BIG #I don't think people roleplaying your ocs is even a thing anywhere else #in the utmv people made stuff of each other's characters all the time #and if they blew up more than the og #that would become the accepted interpretation #it was pretty… weird #and ocs that were made by utmv creators #even if they weren't utmv #they got associated with those creators and their utmv creations #so there was a chance they'd get snatched up for rps #I dunno if that was just my imagination