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#I got into the honor's society this term but wow I don't know how I managed that (truly)
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I have no idea what I'm going to do for NaNoWriMo this year. I feel very uninspired lately.
I just want to do well in my class and my energy has been low lately (season change on my new medicine, I'm guessing???). I need some energy because it's Shakespeare and I need to keep my grades up to stay in the honors society (no pressure lol).
Much More in the tags as per usual... :P
#also it's grad school so C's are effectively F's which is fun#I got into the honor's society this term but wow I don't know how I managed that (truly)#I switched medications half way through grad school so I feel like a different person wrote that Anne Bronte paper even though it was me!!!#sorry but Shakespeare is not my favorite but he's better than other stuff I've read lately#I'm more of a Romantics/Victorian reader but I like the history aspect of the middle ages and renaissance so I can probs get INTO it#I read A Little Life right before class started and yikes yikes yikes- it's the worst thing I've read in a while :(#I try to read some popular literature as well as the classics#I try to understand why certain books are popular but sometimes it misses me entirely#maybe my taste is really bad but that book could have been better if Jude's suffering wasn't so drawn out (800+ pages...)#it became too much for me tbh#the best book (play) I've read in a while is Richard III#again probably my bad taste but so far Richard III is the top Shakespeare play#I am reading 8 of his plays for my class so we'll see how they all compare- if anyone is interested in that?#King Lear was not as good imo and I have to rewatch/reread Henry V before I can offically give my opinion of that one#my paper is going to be on Richard and Henry so you will probably get shit posts about them and their plays#you're welcome I guess?#maybe I'll post some pictures of the new (used) books I bought off my beloved thriftbooks? It's been a while since I've done that#I feel like I haven't posted any updates in a while so here they are#hope everyone is doing at least okay if not great- it's a weird season#irl updates#grad school#mychatter
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pompompurin1028 · 3 years
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Ok, I just finished "The Setting Sun" and wow I may have read a little too fast towards the end because I was so excited and eager to finish but I'm very much in awe of the whole novel. I hope you don't mind if I just put down my thoughts about it :')
Ig I should put a SPOILER WARNING and obviously, there's:
TW: Mentions of suicide
First off, my opinions of the main cast:
I honestly had very neutral feelings towards Naoji in the beginning but shortly after his suicide and his note to Kazuko I felt that I understood him a lot more. Maybe it was partly because the story took place in Kazuko's POV that I had a more discontented viewpoint of him but afterward I felt I understood him more as a person.
With Kazuko, I personally liked her character and the fact that she didn't seem like she was written to be the "perfect woman" like I've seen in some novels. She has flaws and I think her love for her mother is something I found interesting. Although towards the end, I felt that her love for Mr. Uehara sort of anchored her down.
Kazuko and Naoji's Mother was honestly my favorite character of the whole series. I adored her from start to finish. All the way from when she was first introduced she had a sophisticated and genuinely kind aura and when she died I honestly felt a little part of me die as well, haha. But her last line in the book: "It must have been a terrible rush for you" pulled my heartstrings a lot.
Secondly, I just wanted to ramble about some of my favorite quotes from the book lol
The first quote I highlighted was a line Kazuko says: "...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people." Which honestly felt so Dazai-like. In both the case of Dazai-sensei and the BSD version of him. There were so many times I wondered if it was the character speaking or Dazai-sensei himself adding himself into the character.
Another one I liked was "I wonder how it would be if I let go and yielded myself to depravity." I don't really have a comment on it, I just sort of liked it lol.
I highlighted so many in all honesty but I also wanted to point out this one: "The dying are beautiful, but to live, to survive--those things somehow seem hideous and contaminated with blood." Again, it just seemed so beautifully raw and just something I envision BSD Dazai saying and believing as well.
In Naoji's suicide note I almost felt as though it was coming from not just him but from Dazai-sensei as well. Which I'm beginning to see is a recurring pattern in the novel. In particular, this one line stood out to me: "Why must I go on living after what has happened? It's useless. I am going to die. I have a poison that kills without pain. I got it when I was a soldier and have kept it ever since."
I loved the Snake Metaphors(?) throughout the story. And especially Kazuko and Naoji's POV of their mother and how they call her "the last lady of Japan" I think they truly honor her and it's interesting to see such two somewhat lost and "tainted" characters almost obsess over this "light" and genuinely kind woman they hold in such high regard. It almost reminds me of BSD Dazai's opinion of Odasaku or even Atsushi.
That's mostly it- I just really wanted to talk about those things and overall I loved it a lot. It's been a while since I've been so absorbed in a book so reading it felt very relaxing and at the same time so riveting. I hope you don't mind me popping into your inbox and chattering on about this :')
Okay, before I begin, Ariel please don't apologize for putting down your thoughts here. I love discussing Dazai-sensei's novels, and I can't even begin to express how giddy, excited and overjoyed I am to receive this ask of yours. And please if you would ever like to discuss more of his works, feel free to chat with me as well, via asks or on discord it doesn't matter😭❤, I'm always down for it. And this whole thing is me rambling over this so please bear with me haha.
And, I want to say, I was extremely eager to read and finish the novel as well as I continued on reading. It is strangely alluring and compelling. And honestly, I tend to be in awe of Dazai-sensei's thoughts and writing as well😫💕.
Okay, so before I begin to address your thoughts on the novel. Let me write down some background information on the novel to hopefully give you maybe a better understanding of it and Dazai-sensei as well?
The book was published in 1947, not long after the end of the Second World War which ended in 1945. The book in general talks about the state of Japan after the Second World War, and the decline of the aristocracy that came with it. (It should be noted that Dazai-sensei came from an aristocratic background as well, but he also seems to have a sense of shame towards it). The title of the book is literally a metaphor for the decline of Japan. Japan is often known as the "land of the rising Sun", and therefore "The Setting Sun" as the title is fitting for this theme.
And well, this defeat created according to here (an article written in Chinese unfortunately😥) caused a great change in moral values in the Japanese society, which caused an uproar for democracy. Dazai-sensei, however, was quite critical of this, as he sees this as a sign that the Japanese do not feel any guilt or remorse for their actions in the war that took place. (From what I've read Dazai-sensei in his works is very much known for his sense, albeit unusual for Japanese writers from what I read, of guilt, remorse and in a sense seeking for atonement, in one of his prose he even wrote that he writes literature for "remorse, confession and reflection" [my translation from my native language]).
Also, it should be noted that The Setting Sun is also deeply inspired by a diary written by one of Dazai-sensei's lovers (especially chapters 1 to 5 I believe). However, Dazai-sensei himself is best known for his I-novels and their semi-biographical elements. In one of his short stories, or prose in his book I am reading, he confesses that he cannot write things he doesn't know or hadn't felt for himself...
Now onto your thoughts on the novel!
Naoji, I honestly felt the same about him at first, but the more I dove into the novel, especially in the chapters Moonflowers and his note to Kuzuko, I felt more connected to him. And when I read the novel I felt as though Dazai-sensei had actually reflected a part of himself in Naoji, and I read something from what @/bsd-bibliophile had said which confirmed that perhaps Naoji was in a sense an extension of Dazai-sensei himself. (Same for Mr. Uehara I should note, who is also an extension of Dazai-sensei, which I had also noted as well when reading the novel).
And yes! I loved Kuzuko as well, and I have to agree with your statement about her love for Mr. Uehara. I was somewhat disappointed with that as well. But I actually had just been reading on something today which is a bit interesting. However, I do not know enough on the topic yet, nor am I entirely confident at myself explaining it at the moment, but I will talk about it briefly down here.
CW Religious Mentions [Christianity] (Feel free to skip if it makes you uncomfortable <3 For this is simply for literature analysis uses)
Before I begin, I should note that Dazai-sensei is by no means a "religious person", many scholars do not believe so either. It was mentioned in a paper that he even holds a critical view of the Church. However, Dazai-sensei commonly mentions the Bible in well the prose of his that I am currently reading (which brought me to research this topic). It was written in some papers that I am reading that he simply understood the Bible through his own means and not what the Church says (perhaps he sees it as a piece of literature as well in a sense...). Some papers say that he formed his unique views of the need to find "atonement" for his own guilt due to this, which some say is not often seen in Japanese authors.
I'm getting off-topic, but what I'm trying to say is that some scholars say that that action by Kuzuko might've been an allusion in a sense. But what the paper was trying to say was that it was meant to be something powerful? But, personally, I'm not sure what I think of it, it might be a bit far-fetched. But I just wanted to make a note of it.
End of CW
And yes! I do agree I loved their mother as well. I loved how genuine and kind she was. I think she is my favourite too, but she also acted as a form of symbolism for the theme of the novel I believe, which I will talk about briefly later on.
"...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people."
I really liked this quote too actually! And yes, I can definitely see Dazai-sensei saying this... It is hard to tell which part is him confessing, but most of his work tends to have elements of his own feelings and thoughts. Personally, I think it might be Dazai-sensei himself speaking... But I'm not sure, but it should be noted that Dazai-sensei held the concept of "tenderness" in high esteem (other people have also mentioned it here).
And honestly, I get what you mean when you say you don't know what to say about it haha. Sometimes authors just put sentences and words together so beautifully.
And yes, I definitely understand that! I felt that as well, and as I said, Dazai-sensei seems to have put elements of himself into Naoji...
And ahh the snake metaphor! I read on it a bit before, and some say that it might've been symbolizing the decline of Japan/the aristocracy. And the use of the term "the last lady of Japan" seems to symbolize the fall of the old traditions of Japan. It had seemed to me that their mother was a symbol of the "old Japan" that had fallen after the war.
And yes, they do hold her in very high esteem! I wrote that in my analysis as well before! From what I have read, Dazai-sensei does seem to hold such people highly, especially those that are honest and genuine it seems. And yes, exactly, it reminds me of BSD Dazai as well T^T.
And please, thank you for coming over to chat with me about it haha. You could probably tell by how long this is how excited I am about such topics😅. Don't hesitate to come by if you want to chat more! And I'm also really glad that you liked the book as well <33
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olivieblake · 4 years
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Happy Halloween Olivie! I feel like it's been forever because I've been so inactive both on tumblr and fanfiction wise, but hope you're doing well!
It's been a crazy couple of years for me actually - among other things also because I was in a situationship (I think that's what it's called) with a younger guy who was supposed to move away eventually and who ended up doing so recently- surprise surprise lol. So idk if this counts as me confessing a crush, but for someone who has crushed on boys easily for years and yet somehow been very very (almost too) careful about actually getting into a relationship, this was much harder on me than I expected. I went into it with the 'I don't care how this ends, it makes me happy rn' mentality that's just NOT me at all so idek what I was expecting tbh, but I realised more and more how easy it was to be with him, how I'd fallen for him without even realising it, how comfortable I was being myself around him, how he felt like a friend I'd known all my life AND someone I wanted to get to know everything about - basically all the stupid cliches I'd heard about that didn't seem that stupid anymore
His leaving was a sword hanging over my head for the last 1.5 years, and in a way I'm glad it finally happened because I know I wasn't thinking straight or considering other more liable long-term options because of him. But this also felt like the worst heartbreak I've had so far because it felt so out of my control- had his circumstances or my career been different, it may really have been something - but I don't blame him at all.
So I'd like to ask if you (or anyone you know of) have a similar story about feeling like someone really could've (to quote Taylor Swift) been The One if not for circumstances, and how looking back on it after a while makes you feel.
I have been wondering this for a bit now but have the ask character limit/formatting limitations gone away?? that’s great news okay now let’s go into your story. it has VERY MUCH been ages since I’ve seen you and I’m so happy you’re here!! okay let’s do this
let me start with: I totally crush easily. I always have a crush. several crushes. pet crushes. I used to wonder how it was possibly to love one person forever until I realized you can still have crushes and it’s fine because it’s not the same thing; part of the fun of a crush is the cerebral part, where it only exists in your head and is perfect, which is also what most situationships are because some element of intimacy (the commitment part) is missing. but anyway yes okay so you had a crush and lol, I know, we all tell ourselves we don’t care how it ends but of course we do, all of this tracks... yeah, I can see totally this as something that hangs over you. I completely understand. I’m a daydreamer myself. there are lots of people in my life that I think I could have been happy with, even if it’s not the happy I ultimately chose. and because things are left open-ended or without the conclusion that satisfies you, it’s easy to imagine they’re more perfect than they actually were, or to imagine what they would have been if you hadn’t already known it couldn’t really happen.
I really thought I was going to end up with this one guy I knew in college. I still don’t understand what happened with him? he was so, so smart; I don’t remember exactly how we got to be friends—a class, probably—but then gradually he started taking me as his date to things. like, fancy things? galas he got invited to by the university, a secret society he was part of, big networking things—I’m kind of a great date for schmoozing, he was totally beloved by all the VIPs, and we always had fun together. I remember one night he showed up at my sorority house with flowers and it was totally that scene from Legally Blonde where all my sorority sisters were screaming about the boy who showed up in a tux to take me to this event. when we spent time alone together I was like wow, we’re planning a future together, aren’t we? like, this is what it would be like if we were together. but he had a lot of personal issues; a very private but very serious substance abuse problem, difficulties with intimacy. overall it was not a good situationship for me, even if I was perfectly content while I was inside it. I think about him all the time; he’s like the daisy to my gatsby. the last time I saw him he was dropping me off on my doorstep—he kissed me goodnight, told me I looked beautiful, and that was it. now he’s just gone, and like, it’s not just that he’s gone, but the whole future I imagined with him is gone. the galas and parties and feeling like part of a power couple is the opposite of the marriage I eventually chose, and yeah. sometimes I imagine there’s an alternate version of myself living that life, though it kind of satisfies me to think that version of me probably isn’t happier. she just didn’t know yet who she really was or what she really wanted. she didn’t know what kind of love would actually make her feel safe
after him there were a couple of others. someone in law school while I was dating mr blake, someone I worked with after I had gotten married. just crushes, people with chemistry who I knew would have chosen me if I’d asked. I’m an imaginative person, so yeah, sometimes I think about the fact that I could have made other choices and gone down other paths. I really think that letting yourself travel down that AU of your life is worth it; you just have to be honest about how it actually looks. and in this case it’s probably too fresh for you to feel anything but sad, but that’s okay. some sadnesses are important, they teach us something about what we really want. everyone in your life touches it and changes you, and I think it’s perfectly fine to honor that
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