#I harsly talk to anyone In real life anymore I just feel like I'm inconveniencing people by being around

[aberooski]

Luke's song Diamonds is hitting me a little too hard and close tonight.

#really hoping things will finally start to turn around again soon #I've been so depressed this year it's probably the worst I've been in a long time #the worst part is finding a job has been next to impossible and I have no driver's license so I can't leave my house #my bedroom is the attic of my house and I have windows so all I've been able to do for literal months is sit up there in my cave #and just stew in my misery and try and fail to find a way out of it #I've just stopped taking care of myself as the months have gone by too #at least I haven't been doing as well as I was. I never really did a very good job to begin with #I just sit around and try to look at jobs and cry all day and I have to fight myself to drink water or brush my teeth at night or even eat #unless it's breakfast or dinner. that or I actually do eat but tell myself I've been eating too much and stop eating for the day again. #I harsly talk to anyone In real life anymore I just feel like I'm inconveniencing people by being around #I can't sleep without taking melatonin and even then it's hard to sleep and I'm just tired all the time #'Is this the way it will always be' indeed Luke #I'm serious when I say I think I have several undiagnosed mental illnesses only making things worse for me #but who needs therapy when we've got Luke's solo album and Taylor Swift right? #it's me. I know I do. when I can actually manage to find a job (soon please I really need/want 🤞) and can afford it I'll look into it #abby's just rambling don't mind her #abby's having a crisis #goddammit I don't have windows in my room that's what I meant how could I miss the word no 😭