#I have the WORST chub rub from the amount of dancing and jumping I did but 100% worth it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gotbts7fics · 4 years

Text

Positive | Three |

| Two | April 2017 | Four |

It was the middle of April by now, you still weren’t feeling good, your hormones were chaotic and you were currently sitting at an empty table with a cold dinner in front of you. This happened, it was normal. Jaebum would get busy and be late, normally it was fine, however today it was not fine. You knew the moment he came through that door you were going to pick a fight. A very bad fight. Jaidyn had been so disappointed when he hadn’t showed up for dinner since it was the third time this week that dinner plans fell through. She was missing him, you were angry, and the poor guy wasn’t even at fault. This was the life you had signed up for and until now, were capable of handling it, but pregnancy was making you crazy. So you sat at the table, watching the meal you had made get cold, your daughter long since going to bed after her dinner was finished. It was approaching ten when you heard the front door keypad beep, signalling the entry of the only other person who had the pin code. You could hear him shuffle to take his shoes off, him padding towards the kitchen where you were currently sitting in the dark.

Jaebum assumed you had already gone to bed, he had noticed you were so tired lately, barely making it to eight on a good day. So he was shocked when he flipped the light on in the kitchen to see you, sitting there, looking like a corpse.

“Aissssshhhhhh! Wow, you scared me” He chuckled as he approached to give you a kiss. You leaned away from him, which judging by the look on his face, he assumed it was because you were angry.

“I’m sorry, I know this is the third time this week I missed dinner. We’re just so busy with the Japan tour that I can’t sneak away earlier. You have every right to be upset.” He said crouching down in front of your chair, resting his chin on on your lap. It was the moments like this that killed you. He was genuinely sorry for making you wait, for making you feel like you weren’t important. It was these same moments that made you want to tell him the truth.

“I know JB, but I can’t keep doing this. I love you but I’m so tired” You said barely audible, your resolve cracked, you were to exhausted to fight.

“Baby, I know. And I am sorry. You give me so much and ask for nothing. All I can do is love you and show you how much you mean to me. I know I suck sometimes, especially when you’re so patient and understanding with me and my career. You and Jai mean the world to me, its crazy how much love and support the two of you give me, making me feel like the luckiest man in the world.” He stood from his crouching position and kissed your forehead. His gaze then shifted to the cold plate of food in front of you.

“Did you not eat? Y/N you need to eat. Let me heat up the food. Then we can cuddle tonight, can I stay the night?” You nodded, feeling the tears fall down your cheeks. You would give yourself tonight, just one more night with the man you loved.

You woke up the next morning later than usually, thankfully it was a Sunday so you hadn’t been late to work. You remembered how the night before had found you tangled in the sheets, Jaebum pleasing you and making you see how sorry he was. It had been all about you and the pleasure you deserved. Turning over to look at the empty side of the bed he had vacated, sent a shooting pain through your chest. You sat up slowly from your position, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and feeling the ache between your legs. Looking around the room you noticed a vase with a rose that had not been on your dresser the night before. As you untangled your legs from the sheets, raising up and heading to your dresser, you noticed the little note beside the vase.

“Babe, I let you sleep in this morning because you deserve it.

I packed a bag for Jaidyn and brought her to the company for the day.

Don’t worry about anything. I figured she would like to see everyone before

we left for Japan in a few days. If you want to come by later, please do.

If not, we will be home at dinner time. Don’t cook. I will bring you your

favourite spicy rice cakes.

I love you

JB”

You read the note three times before the tears began falling. You were so hopelessly in love with this man. He was so incredible to you, and yet here you are, selfishly stealing more time with him before you shattered his world to protect him. The tears had finally stopped after a hot shower. Dressing in jeans that still fit and a lose fitting t shirt under an oversized sweater, you slipped your shoes on and headed to his building. One day, you just needed one day. This was the lie you kept telling yourself.

The scene you found when you walked into the dance studio was one of chaos. Apparently, it was break time and the boys had put on music just to goof around too. Your child was in the middle of an epic dance battle with Youngjae, as the other men surrounded them, shouting words of encouragement to the little human, and taunts to the older male. No one had noticed you yet, so you pulled your phone out to capture a video, something you often did, but now it was for a much more different reason.

“Y/N!!!!!!” Yugyeom called out, finally noticing you after several minutes. Quickly putting away your phone you walked towards the men in front of you, all of them simultaneously turning towards you. Jaebum broke away from the group and walked over to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle. Your breath hitched, thankful that you weren’t really showing yet and that the sweater provided extra padding for the tiny little amount of chub you accumulated on your tummy, something easily passed off as bloating.

“Maman~!, JB Appa and the oppas are so funny today! You’re just in time for the dance party.” She said while spinning around

“Jaidyn-ah, Oppa wants ice cream, shall we go to the store?” Jackson said, sticking his hand out towards her.

“Yes!!!!” she squealed in delight.

“Hey, wait a minute. It’s almost dinner time. You can’t feed her ice cream” Jaebum piped up, looking at Jackson sternly.

“We’re going to be gone for like a month, let me spoil my princess!” Jackson whined, grabbing your child and running for the door. Yugyeom and Bambam followed directly behind them.

“Um, you better supervise that shopping trip” You said as you nodded towards the door. Jaebum sighed beside you, reaching around to kiss your cheek.

“I’ll be back” he said as he walked after the group who had just left.

“I’ll be here” You smiled.

Youngjae had went to lie down on the couch and Mark followed suit. Jinyoung was sitting against the mirrors on the floor.

“We love when she is around. I can’t believe she is almost eight now.” he said as you went to sit next to him.

“Try being me. It’s crazy”

“Thank you for being so patient with Hyung. Not only are the rest of us thankful to have met you, but you really complete him.” Although his words were sincere, you couldn’t help but feel bitter.

“I really love him Jinyoung, always remember that. I will never love another man the way I love him.” You mumbled looking down at your hands in your lap. You neglected to see the quizzical look on Jinyoung’s face at your statement. He didn’t question you, but he felt it rather odd that you would say something like that. So he just wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close. You snuggled into him and basked in his warmth, silently praying you would not start crying. God, everything made you cry these days, this was so different from your first pregnancy. Jinyoung opened up his phone and you two watched videos until the door to the studio opened a while later.

“You know, I’m not sure how I feel about my girlfriend wrapped in another mans arms” JB said, as he walked in, holding your daughter’s hand. He cocked an eyebrow as he looked between you and Jinyoung. The two of you laughed at his reaction. The remainder of the night was full of love and laughter between everyone.

A few nights later, as you lay on the couch, you felt what you believed to be the first flutter of movement of the impending human to be, growing in your tummy. It was at that moment, fifteen weeks pregnant that you knew it was time. Jaebum was set to leave in a week for month long promotions in Japan, so it was time to let your fairy tale life end. You had been selfish to keep this relationship going, to make him believe everything was going to be okay. You knew how the members of GOT7 were going to be angry at you, not just for hurting him, but them too. You were going to rip yourself out of their life, bringing the little girl they had grown to love with you. There was no winning in this situation. The emotional turmoil had brought you down so much.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” A voice caused you to jump out of your skin, hand flying up to your heart.

“Jesus, I didn’t hear you come in” You gasped out.

“I’m sorry, I called your name, like five times. What is going on in your head” JB asked as he sat down beside you, arranging your feet on top of his thighs. A worried look on his face.

“Stuff, I guess I am unhappy about a lot lately” You figured it was now or never.

“about what? Is it your job?” He honestly didn’t have an inkling of doubt in your relationship. That was the worst part. The two of you got along and understood each other so well. The age difference didn’t matter, both of you respected the other and supported each other through everything. You two weren’t perfect by any means, and although rarely, there had been many fights that resulted in screaming. Usually the other removing themselves from the situation and saying that they needed time to cool down and then talk rationally, but it was never anything that couldn’t be fixed. You guys were mature about many things.

“No JB, it’s about us.” You said sitting up, removing your legs from his body. He stiffened at that, probably trying to figure out where he had gone wrong, trying to rectify whatever mistake he made.

“Is it because I am never around? I know it can be hard, but you know this is what it is like with me. Come on, we’ve been at this three years. We can make it.” He said with a smile, ruffling your hair.

“Look, I’m not going to blame you. I signed up for this. I chose this. In the beginning it was okay, but now.. god you’re almost never around. Like ever. Plans are always broken. I go weeks without seeing you. It sucks” You groaned out.

“I know, but I try to message you as much as possible. You know I try. I’m so thankful you have been understanding of my career. You never needed to be. So please, just hold on a little longer. Look how far we come” He pleads, you can hear the tension in his voice now. Him realizing you weren’t letting it go like you normally did when this conversation would start.

“You always say that! I love you, don’t doubt that, but I want more. I want more time with you, I want to have normal dates. God, I want to post on social media about my happy family. But I can’t, and don’t even for a second tell me that I will be able to. You know as well as I know it doesn’t happen for a korean idol.” You let your voice raise in anger. To be fair, this was not how you wanted it to play out, but emotions were running high, and you were so tired of holding it together.

“No, you can have that. You just need to give it time. Come on. You know this. Were really getting popular now and you know I have a duty to the boys —-” You cut off his rant.

“Fuck them. I am greedy, I want it to be about me for once. I’m tired of being second. I am so fucking tired of it! Of you breaking dinner dates, missing out on Jaidyn’s things. You can’t even pick her up from school. I’m a single mom, and it sucks!” You snapped at him.

“No baby, not at all. I fully accept the role of her father figure, you know that. I love that little girl so much. I would do anything for her. Baby come on.” He was grasping at straws, trying to diffuse the situation, trying to make you believe in him like you normally did.

“No Jaebum. I don’t doubt you love her, hell I see how you are, but you’re not here. You miss the gymnastics competitions, the school plays, fuck even just like going on a random adventure to the Han River. You’re never there.” You were crying now. Something JB hated and knew only happened when you were really feeling frustrated and hurt.

“Look, I know it’s not easy. I can understand how you feel, but my career, we just need to hold on a few more years. Then we can go public, get married and be open. Right?” Jaebum he pleaded with such sincerity in his eyes. He really didn’t like how this conversation is going. For some reason this one felt different then the other ones you two had had before.

“I can’t. I am exhausted. I can’t do it anymore.” You said getting up, walking towards the kitchen to get some water.

“Really, just like that. You’re going to throw away three amazing years because you’re feeling a little butt hurt right now” His temper had finally snapped, and he couldn’t stop the words he was spewing, yelling at you. Normally holding it together much better than you, but tonight, with the emotions in the air, he lost his cool.

“This is selfish. You’re not the only one in this relationship. Do you honestly think I like leaving you? Hell we have a child together! I have been in that little girls life for three years. That is my daughter. We need to stick it out because I will not fucking lose her!!!” He had some how gotten in to your face, jaw sticking out and yelling at you.

“You’re not her real fucking dad!” You seethed words laced with venom, regretting them instantly. You had never said that before, even in the middle of a fight. You watched the colour drain from his face, as he stumbled back and his expression instantly became pained, then cold.

“You take that back.” He said in a low warning growl.

“Fuck you.”

“Take. It. Back.” He was in your face again, beyond pissed off.

“Appa?” a sleepy voice came from behind Jaebum. He turned around instantly, expression changing to one of love.

“Hi baby, did maman and I wake you up, we’re sorry. Let me tuck you back into bed” JB took her by the hand and led her back to bed. You went and threw yourself onto the couch, pulling your knees to your chest. This was by far the worst fight you two had ever had. You had said terrible things to him, but you were not going to apologize, you needed to end this. Several minutes passed until you heard Jaebum return to stand in front of you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked angrily. You didn’t look at him. “Really, you’re not going to have a conversation with me?” Again, you ignored his comments.

“Whatever Y/N, I’m done tonight. I’ll call you in a few days. I love you” He said, still angry. If there was one thing you two always did, no matter the argument, you always said that you loved each other.

“Don’t bother. We’re done.” You said.

“Really? You’re going that far tonight?” He asked, his temper flaring even more.

“Goodbye JB, don’t let the door hit you on the way out” You said picking up your phone as a distraction from the man looming over you. He finally turned around and headed to put his shoes on.

“Whatever y/n” He said as he slammed the door shut.

You waited a minute before you walked over and put the chain on the latch. It was over.

You returned to sit on the couch, you would give anything for a bottle of wine. Instead you cried yourself to sleep.

JB arrived at the dorm in record time, his anger boiling over. He slammed the door with so much force that the window glass rattled. Several heads snapped up to look at him as sank to the floor in front of the door, putting his head into his hands.

“Hyung?” It was Jinyoung who went to him right away, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“I think I just lost them.” Jaebum said, head still in his hands.

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked the man, as he sat down beside him. Concern etched on his face.

“I lost them. Y/n and I, we…we got into a fight. I-I-I think it’s over” Jaebum stuttered.

“Don’t be ridiculous, it was just a fight. Couples fight. You two always work it out, she loves you way to much.” Jinyoung reassured him.

“This time feels different Jinyoung, she didn’t even say she loved me as I left, she always tells me she loves me… “ He whispered, tears falling from his eyes. No one said anything for the rest of the night.

It had been five days since the fight. Neither you, nor Jaebum, had reached out to each other. Usually by the second day someone was showing up with food, saying sorry and showering the other with kisses. Although you knew it needed to end, you were still hoping that maybe he would call, even a text. Instead you were met with radio silence and it just made the heart break worse. You hadn’t talked to any of the members of his group, and with them departing for Japan in a few days, the likelihood of you seeing anyone was also very slim. Your three year relationship was over, completely done.

And yet you wanted nothing more than to run to the man who you were pushing away.

“Maman, how come JB Appa hasn’t been home lately. I really miss him. Can he come see us soon” Your little girl asked one day as she was getting ready for school.

“I’m sorry baby, he is so busy. He has to get ready for a month in Japan.”

“Will we see him before he goes?”

“I don’t know baby. I hope so, but if we don’t it’s okay. You know he loves us so much right” You hated lying, but this was not a conversation you wanted to have with her just yet. Instead you busied yourself getting her ready for school. You had two weeks until you were done your contract at your school, so you hadn’t been packing or anything useful yet for the move. The emotions you were feeling were very overwhelming. Guilt, anger, sadness, and relief, were consuming you. You were finding it harder and harder to hid the baby growing in your belly. It was exhausting.

“Jaidyn, grab your bag. We need to go.” You yelled making your way to the front door.

“Coming, Maman, I love you.” She smiled as she slipped her shoes on and grabbed her coat.

“I love you to baby.” You replied, taking her hand and heading out the door.

It was somewhere along the way of dropping your daughter off at school and heading to your own classroom that you received the text. The text you had been praying to come, but not to come. That damn text that was going to put your heart together again, only to shatter it at the same time. It was a wicked trick of fate, really. Having what you longed for so much, only to throw it away. You must have stared at the text for a solid five minutes before you made the decision to not reply.

[8:03am] Jaebum</3: I love you. You deserve everything you want. The dates, social media posts, random adventures. I promise when I get home from Japan, I will become the boyfriend you deserve babe, promise. Hold on just a little while longer, okay. We got this xo.

He honestly knew how to be the best man possible for you, yet you couldn’t be the woman for him. You let your phone screen shut off and placed it in your bag. Jaebum would never be able to fulfill that promise.

#Positive #jb x reader #jb got7 #got7 x reader #got7 #pregnancy au #got7 pregnancy au #jaebum #jaebum x reader

1 note · View note