#I realise that this is sooo fucking irrevelant for many people but I didnt want to delete

[reyeslonestar]

a severely delayed reflection on 2.13 bc its been in my drafts for months and I dont want to delete it

you know what would have made that ep better structured for me?

the gunman is real. Tommy has to deal with the fact that she brought him in there and the guilt of potential harm. much of the first scene in the hospital plays out the same as she diffuses the situation and gets the others to leave. stays to handle the machines. evaluates the kid and decides that she’s going to believe in him, even though she knows theres no hope - but shes desperate to save someone today. she needs a miracle, to feel like she could do something to help someone. she and the gunman dont cooperate with the swat team.

another patient left behind in the ICU goes into a medical emergency which Tommy manages to handle - just. she saves a life, but not the one she thought she could. she realises that indulging this guy and his denial is a danger to people - the doctors and nurses need to come back and take care of their patients and focusing on those theyve lost is endangering others they can help. she’s faced with the father’s denial of his loss and she has to begin to process her own, but it’s in a detached way, like she knows it rationally but it hasn’t hit her emotionally yet. she talks the gunman down, empathising and commiserating but explaining that he has to come to terms with his grief and harming others in the process is not the way to do that.

the kid doesn’t miraculously wake up and the father begins to accept his loss - he says goodbye to his son, the swat team take him away, and Tommy finally breaks down as the emotional weight of her own grief hits her.

(alternatively the father continues to deny his loss and we have that contrasted with Tommy finally breaking down as she accepts hers)

#a has thoughts #episode chat 2x13 #911 lone star #tommy vega #i realise the other patients were probably evacuated but shhh #if lone star can write in contrivances then so can I #anyway yeah there were good bits in the episode #but I struggled with the structure and pacing #I realise that this is sooo fucking irrevelant for many people but I didnt want to delete #its been sitting in my drafts for months