#I’m also a workaholic who was raised by a workaholic engineer mother so maybe I’m just INSANE

[stuckinapril]

how do u overcome the fear of failure when ur not instantly good at something? i’ve been interested in engineering for a long time but i didn’t major in it because the high level calc and physics courses didn’t come to me naturally and i’m a perfectionist who hates failing or struggling 🥲

No one is too dumb for something. It’s not that you’ll just “never get” physics or calculus—it’s a matter of playing around w the material and seeing what works best for you. It doesn’t make those who process things at a faster pace superior to you; it just makes them different. Ik it might sting to struggle for a little bit, I’m also a perfectionist and I still have moments where I want to avoid topics bc I fear failure, but think of how satisfying it will feel once you get the ropes down & things just start making sense.

You have to put your desire to grow over your aversion to struggling at it. I’m personally terrified of stunting myself by never pushing myself hard enough, and that usually keeps my ego in check when it comes to stuff like this. If you’re not struggling, you’re not growing. Period.

You’ll have more to say by the time the interim of discomfort is over. This world is oversaturated w nepo babies / protégés / people who’re just naturally proficient… but they don’t have much to say as far as struggling to get good at something goes. The most digestible analogy I could think of is having acne & wanting to consult someone about it. Who do you think would have more to say about that: someone who never struggled w skin problems a day in their life, or someone who had major skin problems but now has glass skin? Probably the person who struggled but paved their way through it.

No one is going to point at you one day and laugh at you for having once struggled in physics or calculus. Once you’re an engineer you’re an engineer, same as anyone else. It’s very rare for people to care how long it took you to get to the finish line. They just care that you’re there.

My neuroscience prof said this once & it literally rewired my brain—but half the mental battle is just thinking that excelling at something is in your future no matter how long it takes, how hard it may be, or what you have to do to excel at it. Literally just telling yourself “I know I’ll get good at physics and calculus no matter what, I just need to figure out how” will help you sm. This is my form of manifestation lol even if I don’t believe in manifesting or anything like that. It’s legit just telling myself that I’ll get what I want eventually, so long as I work hard for it.

#I’m also a workaholic who was raised by a workaholic engineer mother so maybe I’m just INSANE #but genuinely I think this is the secret to life. just unequivocally believing in urself. that is what I think #if you want to be an engineer then pursue that w all your heart!! u will get good at it if u want it badly enough #good luck friend x #ask

[avelera]

A few headcanons about what was going on with Newt’s parents during the Uprising years (that I’m writing out for organizing my thoughts for fic purposes):

- First of all, I personally headcanon Jacob and “Uncle” Illia Geiszler as a married gay couple rather than as brothers. I see Monica Schwartz as Newt’s biological mother but who is either 1) a good friend of theirs who agreed to be their surrogate 2) a woman Jacob had a fling with before he married Illia. Either way, Newt’s parents are Jacob and Illia and Monica is his “mother” but not really part of his life (and part of his joke about “Only my mother calls me Newt” is for Hermann’s benefit because Hermann knows he has two dads). I know this contradicts canon and all, but honestly, born-in-the-1990s Newt probably WOULD refer to his second dad as “uncle” to avoid trouble with bullying and whatnot in those days and it just fits his personality, I think, with being comfortable with himself and his sexuality and going to protests and stuff like what we saw the Drift that he would have that social awareness from a young age. 

- I know the canon also says that Newt is from Berlin but like... Charlie Day just isn’t portraying that. At all. So I’m totally willing to keep that Jacob and Illia are from Berlin but to my eyes, Newt either born in Boston or moved there so young that he has no other cultural identity. The man oozes New England in his mannerisms.

- So onto Uprising, while I do think it’s possible to keep Hermann and the PPDC at arm’s length I do disagree with the idea he cut off contact entirely, even with Hermann. I think he definitely isolated himself, and contact was sparse, but I don’t think it ever got so sparse that suspicion could be raised enough to prompt an intervention. 

- But the thing is, Newt was clearly a workaholic all his life. If we keep the ridiculous “6 PhD” thing or even if we don’t, the guy’s enormously accomplished by a young age at 35. I know people see Newt as messy and alternative but he is not lazy or a slacker, he simply couldn’t be with his background or what we see on screen. He is intellectually and just action-wise extremely high energy and proactive. Tragically, this leads me to believe his years at Shao wouldn’t necessarily raise any alarm bells with his family.

- Whether you see Jacob and Illia as living in Berlin or Boston, Newt’s move from Hong Kong to Shanghai wouldn’t impact them much travel-wise since they’re only a two hour flight apart but at least a 15 hour flight from both those locations. Aside: I tend to headcanon the latter, basically my fictional biography of Boston Newt is that he got extremely lucky at a young age at a time where over medication of kids with ADHD was extremely common, and instead of getting drugged to the gills he had loving, artistic/engineering dads who saw his potential and got him enrolled at an MIT kids program that quickly morphed into going straight into MIT at a crazy young age and effectively channeling all his overabundance of energy and intellect Matilda-style into a place that could actually handle him. Most kids are not so lucky and this only worked out because they were living down the street from MIT.

- So basically, you have a situation where Newt has been living away from home at least since he joined the Hong Kong Shatterdome, which is 5 years, but he was bouncing around to Shatterdomes before that. His dads are probably used to not seeing him except over video calls (when even THAT is possible given Kaiju disruption of communication lines) or a few times a year during good years in person. So him going to work for a high-powered job in Shanghai with a company that demands a lot of his time wouldn’t really change things very much. 

- The one thing that might raise eyebrows is that he’s working for a weapons manufacturer at all, but that’s only if you headcanon (like I do) that Newt was protesting the military industrial complex with his dads ever since he could walk. But again, a lot changes with the Kaiju, and even more changes for people like Newt especially when the Kaiju go away. Him making a dramatic switch in field might be odd, but who knows how losing the focus of his life’s work with the closing of the Breach would impact him? And he was working for the PPDC, a military organization, so him going to work for a weapons manufacturer isn’t really that out of the blue given the way private and public sector tend to pass people back and forth.

- While I think the Precursors would work to keep Hermann away, I think Newt would be able to convince them that he needs to keep at least light contact with his dads or they’re going to worry and maybe try to intervene. But again, we’re talking the occasional video call and a few in-person days of meetings (at most) maybe once a year. Either with Newt flying out for a “whirlwind” stopover in Boston/Berlin, maybe for just a few hours during a business trip because he’s “in the area” and he’s gotta rush out of there, or with them coming to Shanghai to visit and him being “tragically” busy with work so he can only grab a quick dinner with them. Again, sad, but probably not all that different from his Shatterdome schedule.

- The more gut-wrenching thing I can think of is: Newt’s making seven figures. He’s firmly upper class now, and with Jacob and Illia being a musician and an electronics engineer, they’re probably middle class but hardly wealthy. That means it would make sense for Newt to support them financially. And you know what supporting someone financially helps you buy? Control. Wielding status as a financial benefactor could mean he puts his dads in a position where they can’t really ask questions or make demands on his time without feeling guilty, and he can hold that over them, something I can 1) see Precursor Newt doing because he’s a douchebag 2) see as serving the Precursors’ plan for Newt very well. 

And frankly, his dads would be getting older at this point. Probably not traveling as much, not able to come out to Shanghai as easily if he doesn’t come out to where they are, and probably living on retirement and savings. Their senses may not be as sharp and therefore able to pick up the micro-expressions of distress Newt puts out. And Newt has probably always been pretty self-sufficient from a young age given when he got his degrees, so besides a certain coldness and level of distraction, there’s nothing you can really pin his odd behavior on except that, well, he’s working as a corporate douchebag now and that environment changes a person. But he’s making good money and he’s not in trouble or anything, so you can’t really intervene, can you? At least there will probably be the wedding at some point when he finally gets hitched with this Alice girl he can’t stop talking about, right?

#pr meta #maggie's writing progress #newton geiszler #pacific rim #this got long forgive my rambling

[jimmyxobrien-blog]

TASK ONE

BASICS

Full Name: James Patrick. O’Brien Nickname(s): Jimmy Age: 35 Date of Birth: April 10, 1981 Zodiac Sign: Aries Place of Birth: Nashville, TN Ethnicity: Irish American Nationality: American Gender: Male Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual Romantic Orientation: Heteromantic Religion: Catholic / non-practitioner  Occupation: Bar Owner Language(s) Spoken: English Accent: Southern 

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Charlie Hunnam Hair Color: Blonde Eye Color: Blue Height: 6′1″ Weight: 181lbs Build: Fit Tattoos: Several. Back, arms, chest.  Piercings: None. Distinguishing Characteristics: Boyish grin. Baby blue eyes. Sleek blonde hair.

PERSONALITY

Label: The Charmer Positive Traits: Charming. Approachable. Dependable. Negative Traits: Quick to anger. Private. Workaholic. Goals/Desires: See his siblings thrive. Fears: Becoming his father. See any of his siblings go down the same path as their parents. Pigeons—don’t ask. Hobbies: Drinking. Driving his Harley. Watching sports—and betting. And what many don’t know: keep a close eye in everything NASA, aerospace and engineering related. Quirks: Lives off cigarettes and black coffee when something’s troubling him, he’s stressed or worried. Border anarchist. Routinely works out. Likes: Harley Davidson, Nascar, Football, Marlboro Reds, Jim Beam, Them ladies... Dislikes: Half of the population and bad tippers.

FAMILY

Father: James O’Brien — deceased.  Mother: Rebecca O’Brien Sibling(s): Five. Callum O’Brien (28) @calxobrien; Sister/Brother (#); Sister/Brother (#); Erin (10); Conor (6) Pet(s): He’d like to say Callum—But at the moment, none of his own. Financial Status: Okay. His finances are straight. Not too bad, not great either. He’s still dealing with student loans and raising two kids. It could be better. 

TESTS

Myers-Briggs: ISFJ — The Defender: Very dedicated and warm protectors, always ready to defend their loved ones. Enneagram: 8 — Protector: Protectors believe you must be strong and powerful to assure protection and regard in a tough world. Consequently, Protectors seek justice and are direct, strong and action-oriented; they also can be overly impactful, excessive and impulsive. Temperament: Choleric — short-tempered, fast or irritable. Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw — values intelligence, creativity, learning, and wit. 

DIGGING DEEPER

What would your character consider to be the defining moment in their life? His parents death. While Jimmy’s decision to go after his dreams once given the opportunity to study aerospace engineering at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, leaving his family behind had been utterly selfish. With the notice of his parents’ death, he made the most unselfish decision to date: to leave everything behind and put his life on hold so that his family stayed together. He rose above, to some extent, and he hasn’t regretted it to this day. Not entirely, at least.

If things would only ever go their way, where you they like to see themselves in ten years time? Still in Nashville. Still close to his family. His youngest brother, Conor, would be just sixteen years old and, hopefully, en-route to High School graduation. Although he hasn’t had the chance to give it too much thought, his hands too busy and his life too complicated to even entertain the idea of it, maybe he could have a family of his own by then. Part of the reason why he doesn’t think it’ll happen, though, is because he dreads becoming his father. After all, he didn’t have a great example and doesn’t think he’ll make a good one. 

Who is their favorite person? Why? His brother, Callum, but if he hears Cal mentioned him in this question too he’ll deny it for fear of sounding like a chick flick moment. Cal is his best friend and confidante. Jimmy admires him greatly, his bravery and his strength. He doesn’t only see his brother as a national hero but his own personal one too.

If your character could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? To be able to free himself completely of the ever-lurking shadow of his father. Every time he picks up a glass of whiskey or smokes a cigarette, he can see himself turning a little bit more into the man he despises, and yet he can’t stop. Being stripped of the opportunity of fulfilling his capacities and sharing some of his intellect with the world left him in some sort of shell of the man he could be. Unfortunately, he doesn’t feel like he has the right to be that person anymore. 

What would your character most like to be remembered for? For taking care of his family and defending them to his dying breath. Maybe, just maybe, he may still have the chance to change the course of history with some transcendental discovery or theory pertaining aerospace and astronomy—though not many people are aware of his vast knowledge on the topic. 

MUN QUESTIONNAIRE

This section is optional, but will give us an opportunity to get to know each other a bit better!

Name/Alias: D Favorite Color: Blue Favorite Book(s): Madame Bovary Favorite Movie(s): Across the Universe  Favorite TV Show(s): Vikings Favorite Fictional Character(s): Golden Girl’s Rose Nylund (she’s me. I’m her!) 

3 Random Facts About Yourself: - I love musicals. - And hummus. - And the New England Patriots.

Why did you choose to create this character? Is there a story of how you came up with them or what you hope to accomplish with them? I had just finished watching Shameless’ most recent season and I wanted to desperately write a hybrid between Fiona and Lip. And voilá, so was Jimmy born. Ultimately, what I want for him is to realize he’s so much more than his father, and that he can still have the life he dreamed of without it meaning abandoning his family.

#nashtask #[ task ]