#I'm not even doing the bare minimum and I'm still struggling. I'm so pathetic sometimes

[femsolid]

i'm a het separatist and i don't understand most osa women at all when they talk about dating men. they constantly brag about the bare minimum standards their men meet ("hes nice and compliments meeee" & "he makes me orgasm sometimes and doesn't hit me") like do they realize how pathetic they sound? it's also insanity to see osa women realize how shitty men are, but they still sleep with them constantly one after the other. it is free entertainment though to see all this complaining

No I can't say I find it entertaining.

A woman once came over to me and my separatist friends bragging about having managed to persuade her husband of doing the dishes. Which took some effort on her part. But to her it was proof that she was the boss in the relationship and that her man was receptive to her feminist lectures. The next day she was even more excited when she told us that her husband had complained about her not preparing his meal for work (when all his colleagues' wives did so) and she responded that she would not do it. Again, to her it was a great feminist success. And divorcing him was out of the question because she was "educating" him, he was a work in progress, she had to believe this. None of us dared to tell her what she already knew. She was trying to convince herself, not us. And when she left, we didn't laugh or say it was "free entertainment". We were sad for her.

Mocking these women is in contradiction with separatism's goal in my opinion. Think about it. Why would a woman leave men only to join a group of women who laughed at her pain and said that her trying to make her life more bearable was "entertainment"? I understand you being irritated at the cognitive dissonance, but separatism isn't just about separating from men, it's about offering an alternative based on female solidarity. So that alternative can't have anything to do with mocking women for how they dealt with subjugation. I'm sure you've had your share of denial and misplaced affection before you decided to reject men. I don't expect separatists to spend our lives pleading with other women to join us, but we must leave the door open and create a home that is welcoming to all women. A great number of women come to this later than you and me. They come with shattered illusions and heartaches. Separatism is a political movement but it's also a healing place or it ought to be.

So if you've lost patience with domestically abused women then focus on building that alternative of freedom for the women who are already on that path. It's good for you and it's good for the women who might join you someday.

And if you struggle to understand why women bond with their oppressors so desperately and intimately I suggest you read the book Loving To Survive (though the title says it all really).

#ask

[localvoidcat]

my day be so fine

then boom

procrastination leading to overall disappointment and anxiety 

#why is it so hard for me to remember something as simple as like. putting on a clean shirt or eating something or doing laundry? #I'm not even doing the bare minimum and I'm still struggling. I'm so pathetic sometimes #vent tw

[jehovahhthickness]

My brother said that he didn't ask our mom to do all she did for him but had no issue and still has no issue with taking anything She offers.She is a single parent ,worked three jobs to raise us and put her life on hold.He played sports,got to travel etc.She paid for everything and never got anything from the government because they claimed she didn't qualify since she made over $1,5000 per month.So we struggled a lot with food etc but she always made a way.Them my brother got into trouble because he wanted fast money since the two jobs he had weren't enough...he went to prison for a couple years.Our mom sent him money all the time to the point sometimes we didn't have money for food and our lights would get cut off but she wanted to make sure he had.Whole time he was locked up,he disrespected her and blamed her for his choices.He didn't even want her to visit. He only wanted to see his gf who stole his shit and left him within a year of him being away. She messed his house up,stole tv's,his clothes etc.Our mom paid to have things in his home worked on that the gf trashed and broke ...and before he got locked up that's the same house my mom and I were never allowed to visit.He would have dinners and parties but we couldn't go just his friends and her family could... And for him to have the mindset of... I didn't ask you to do this or that is pathetic. He's no longer locked up and still doesn't treat her good unless he can get something from her. He's in his 30's and she cook for him,clean,wash clothes,make his bed etc.It's sad and she doesn't like me much but I'm her only daughter,take care of her and never treat her disrespectful plus she's always done the bare minimum for me. People are weird af and having the attitude of well I didn't ask you to do this or that pisses me off because that's most of my families mindset.

So what now, boo?

Clearly, you are fed up. Rightfully so

But I suggest that you start getting your ducks in a row and leave your family behind so you can focus on yourself.

It sucks how moms treat their sons like they’re honest little princes who can do no wrong. And they treat their daughters like a red headed stepchild.

Stop thinking that you owe your family any of your emotional and physical labor when they don’t even appreciate your efforts.

I’m sure if you dipped the fuck out, your mom would be shit out of luck.