#In the gentlest way possible. Kill yourself you fucking waste of carbon

[aftermathing]

Probably going to give myself a mohawk (there has to be a better word for that) today even though I'm dreading my mom yelling at me every single day about it. I don't know how to tell you this but almost killing yourself makes you realize nothing matters and life is too short to not be able to cut your hair when you want and the way you want and life is too short for it to be as miserable as possible

#She doesn't know and she will never know!! #My earliest genuine contemplation of suicide was at age 13 after I was beat up at school and she said it was my fault because I was annoyin #I had been planning to tell her I was also sexually assaulted that week but the way she acted about being physically assaulted baby no way! #I went out on the roof and planned to jump but I didn't think it was high enough to kill me so I did not #Plus I did not want to die and be buried on a goddamn peanut farm like my favorite dog #Mental health isn't real and she is the only person in the world allowed to feel sad or anxious or bad about herself #She says shit like 'my brother touched me and hit me with his car and I didn't want to get a sex change because of it!!' #In the gentlest way possible. Kill yourself you fucking waste of carbon #If you're not going to get therapy and you're just going to traumatize a whole litter of children to this day then you deserve to die