#Like it was sad when he wrote down his missing canonmates but going back in and writing everyone else's names ;;;;

[sysig]

Last man standing (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #It's lonely at the top :( #Poor dearest is worse for wear ah </3 #This scene made me cry ;; #Like it was sad when he wrote down his missing canonmates but going back in and writing everyone else's names ;;;; #Even his shaky alliances! Even the people he hasn't seen for a while!! Wehhh <3 <3 <3 #You soft heart ;; I see you Admiral ♥ #Also had a lot of fun writing in VUK ZIX again hehe ♪ #The translations from VUK ZIX to English aren't exact - for starters they're upside down haha #So if you started from the top down it would actually read KINLEZ NATPAK but I figured that wouldn't be as readable #You read from the bottom up! I also still headcanon it being written/read from left to right #So he started with Zelnick then Fwiffo then Tanaka and so on #Although I did change it up for the second one - Teisel then Xelloss then Xigbar then Asch and Van #The more I think of it the more I'm surprised there's no H :0 #Even just as a demarcation of a pause before during or after a syllable #The ''sh'' sound makes complete sense tho hehe <3 #Any incorrect shaping of letters/poor handwriting on my part can totally be chalked up to ZEX not being used to human hands! #Totallyyy lol #I really like the way specific syllables are shaped - like how Teisel and Zelnick almost share the same shaped between ''SEL'' and ''ZEL'' #How Z is a more connected extension of S just agh it's so pretty <3 <3 Eco_Mono really did such a lovely job with it ♪ #And then certain ''incorrectly'' spelled syllables still turned out so pretty! Like the ''ANA'' in Talana - look how swoopy and continuous! #The ''BAR'' in Xigbar looks really cool - honestly reminds me of the fanweapons I made ages ago for I? think? Xigbar's apprentice?? #It's been too long I don't remember now lol but it's cool to me in particular because of that!! :D #Fwiffo looks so funny haha - Tanaka has a cool star-like kind of letter in his name?? Man it's just so neat <3 #As for ZEX - I mean he made it this far :( Not one to give up easily that's for certain ♥ Tenacious #I want him to be happy :'0

[kmdngt]

Big paragraph under the cut. I’m not very open about my personal life, but this is something I feel I really need to get off my chest. Don’t read if you don’t want to or aren’t interested, because this is going to be a lot of happy/sad reminiscing about my boyfriend.

I’m a kinnie and I’m not super open about it. My Izuru was a fictive in my now-ex girlfriend’s system. For a long time he was an aggressive alter who antagonized and harmed her. I met him nearly a year after her first showed up because she was scared to tell me, and immediately tried to befriend him, not knowing the gravity of the situation. After finding out we were canonmates and having some rough talks, I began to develop some rather intense feelings for him. More rough talks and an incident of aggression made me reconsider the validity of the feelings I had. I shifted my focus--I wanted him and her to get along because I wanted to not be afraid of him and what he was capable of. It took a very long time, a three-month absence, and some encouraging inter-system talks before this (mostly) came true. Two days before my birthday, he calmed me down from a panic attack, kissed my cheek, and told me he wanted me to be comfortable and happy. On my birthday, April 24, we kissed. I remember asking and him saying yes and being too breathless to move at first. I remember reaching for his hand and him reaching back. I told him I loved him. He said he did too. I was happy. Continued physical encounters for about a month followed. I asked him to be my boyfriend on May 28th and he laughed at me, because of course he would be. We joked that night more than any other, and we loved each other. My Izuru is a strong, reassuring presence. He called me darling and I decided it was all I ever wanted to be called. He hugs tighter than anyone I’ve ever known, so tight it helped even out the knots in my back and my bones popped. He kept us on equal footing always. He always asked permission. He kept me safe and happy, just like he said he wanted. His favorite animal is the owl, and when I got him a small owl plush for Christmas, he beamed in a way I’ve never seen another person smile. I fell asleep in his arms too many times to count. When I felt bad and he pulled out one of those terrible tabletop joke books I suddenly felt whole. When I cried he held and shushed and petted me and rubbed circles into my back and told me it was all going to be alright and he would always be there. He promised to help me get better. He put up with my hours-long rambling and my music he most certainly didn’t like and he always kissed me goodbye. So many times he promised me he would always be there. When another alter went dormant, he told me he never wanted to leave me. I didn’t want him to either. When his host broke up with me, I worried I would never see him in person again. I wrote him a letter. He never responded. I asked if he was there. He was. Was he coming back for me? Could he feel how I missed him? Izuru? Are you there? I left a flood of messages. “I miss you. When you come back lets go on a date! I still haven’t gotten to show you the garden, won’t you come? Are you there? ...Are you there? I’m tired. I’m so tired. Are you going to come back for me?” My birthday passed. Our anniversary passed. His birthday passed. Months passed.  Today I learned he went dormant. I still miss him. I woke up missing him this morning and I’m going to sleep missing him. I’m going to miss him for a very long while. But since he is gone, and gone for good, and I never truly said goodbye, this is that. I loved him very deeply for what feels like a very long time. I remember practically everything he ever said to me and I don’t believe I can forget. I’ve never had someone I loved this much die before. It’s pretty much death, isn’t it?  Either way, goodnight and goodbye Izuru. I loved you--I love you, I won’t (and can’t, I’m sure) forget you, and I am more glad to have met you than I am to be alive. You made everything worth it. You were worth it. I love you, darling. Goodbye <3

#izuru kamukura #danganronpa