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shra-vasti · 4 years

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KWON SOONYOUNG

Series : To all the boys

Pairing : Kwon Soonyoung x reader

Type : non idol au, ex-couple au

Genre : angst, drama, fluff, romance

Warnings : few curse words

Word count : 1.8k

Synopsis : You decided to write some letters to every boy who was a part of your past as your last message after getting diagnosed with chronical disease.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[Received, 01.10.2020] | one | previous | next

It's been exactly a week since you started dating Soonyoung. He was happy when you contacted him the very next day and asked him to meet you.

You were feeling guilty that you broke his heart and the tear stained picture on his face which was on your mind all throughout the night didn't let you sleep.

It was childish, you were aware. You had the right to reject but no one had ever cried for you so you didn't think twice before asking Kihyun for his number.

"You do realize that this is a one sided relationship?" Andie asked as she along with your other friend, Zeny, were hanging out with each other at her house.

"I know." you said softly as you plopped yourself on her bed on your back, your head hanging by the edge of her bed staring at the ceiling.

"You're going to get bored soon." Zeny tagged along, continuing the snack she was eating earlier.

"Actually I'm already bored." you laughed ironically.

Your friends told you what you did is going to end up hurting him but now you regretted not listening to them.

"You shouldn't have agree with him just because you pity him." Andie shook her head at you like she knew this would happen.

"I didn't realize I was pitting him okay? I just felt bad and thought I should do something about him."

"Could have friendzoned him or something."

You huffed feeling frustrated, it was all your fault and you didn't want to overflood yourself with guilt that he probably was thinking about you all the time and here you were thinking about how you regret going out with him.

Soonyoung's a fun guy with a really adorable eye smile. He loved dancing and was serious about it. He always had this habit of messaging you whenever he was going out with his friends or family.

He loved to brag about you, a thing you had come to learn over a few days of span and that only fueled you with more guilt.

You were still young, didn't know much about relationships and love and he was older than you by couple of years but that didn't stop him from showering you with love.

When you look back at the time spent with him, you had never really done anything for him since you still weren't familiar with him.

You knew basics about him but that's it, you didn't know what keeps him up at night, what's the story behind his non favorite ice cream flavor, what kind of a person he is, none of it.

And somehow instead of you feeling ecstatic about knowing more of him you found yourself getting more and more bored.

The sudden notification from your phone put a halt in your conversation, you reached towards your phone to see who was it.

Soonyoung : I'll pick you up in an hour ;-)

"Oh shiii, I forgot I had a date with him."

You instantly replied him with a quick okay and started packing your stuff to go to your house and get ready.

"How can you forget about a date with your own boyfriend?" Andie laughed sipping her drink and shaking her head at you.

"Shut up."

You waved them goodbye and meet you soon and made a run towards your house which was few blocks away from your own.

"If it wasn't for him being excited about the date an hour prior I wouldn't have even realized that we had a date today."

You talked with yourself as you hurriedly walked towards your house, sweating and breathing heavily.

"Gosh this is so tiresome." you cried out feeling more and more irritated. Now you even had to take a shower and get ready and meet him in just 45 minutes.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"You are looking beautiful today."

You smiled at his compliment, muttering a soft thankyou as you walked side by side with him on the park.

You had a great time with him, he took you to arcade, then you guys went to eat sushi after that you had some dessert, watched a movie and then here you were, at the park.

"Today's weather is great."

You held your hand at your back, appreciating the soft wind blowing on your face and hair.

"It is." he mumbled suddenly getting nervous.

"Why? Is there something wrong?"

You asked laughing at his nervous self, shaking your head.

You wanted to spend sometime with your friends cause you didn't get to hangout with them much since the past week and now that you were here with Soonyoung enjoying the soft breeze, you kind of missed being with them doing crazy things.

You liked the peaceful atmosphere but you felt restricted, that you'll have to show your unseen side to someone you barely knew.

"Nothing just, I wanted to give you this."

You stopped in your track, turning towards him.

"A gift?"

"Yes."

He took a small box from his pocket, eyes glittering with excitement and hope but you didn't feel the same excitement, yes your stomach was churning but not because of happiness, you were dreading.

He took your hands in his gently as you stood there still looking at him in shock. He slipped the ring on your right hand.

"In the far future when we'll be ready, I'll give you a more beautiful and proper ring on your left hand. But for now this is all I can give, a promise ring."

You immediately took your hand back making him confused as you scanned your hand where a new piece of jewellery was adorned.

"Aren't we too young for this? I mean we don't even know each other much."

"But I see a great future ahead. Is it beautiful?"

You couldn't say anything he kept on cutting you off. You nodded your head as you scanned the ring, it was indeed beautiful.

"My sister helped me to choose it."

"Your sister knows about me?"

Your thoughts were running wild just like your heart, he told his sister about you and the ring too.

If you look from outside you could see that you gave zero fvcks about this relationship so since when did he get so ahead of himself?

"Soonyoung, don't you think this is too early? You have to think things through. We're still young."

You saw his face fell at that, he looked down at his feet and his hands found their way inside his jeans pocket.

"You didn't like it?"

"It's not about me not liking it. We don't even know much about each other to take such a huge commitment."

"Such a huge commitment? You're acting like you don't feel for me. Wait, you feel for me right?"

His hands were suddenly on your shoulders, his body pressed against your. You tried to pull away but his grip was tight, completely opposite of the delicate and solemn look on his face.

"Soonyoung-"

"You feel for me right? Isn't that the reason why you agreed with this relationship?"

His voice was hurried looking desperately for an answer in your eyes but all you did was ignore making an eyes contact with him.

"Soonyoung I think we should head home, both of our mind are mess and I don't want you or me to say something which will end into something both of us don't want."

You pushed him away from you slowly, taking in his form for one last time beside you turn your back on him hailing a taxi and leaving him behind in the middle of the park, tears flowing down his face.

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"Kihyun everything is fucked up, I was dating him casually and he's all serious for me, he told his sister about me and gave me a freaking promise ring. I'm still young to get committed and I don't even feel for him at all."

You were currently on a call with Kihyun, as soon as you reached your house you changed your clothes and had your dinner hurriedly before calling him.

You chose to tell him cause he was the one who had decided to bring Soonyoung into your life and he was a common ground between two of you.

"Tell him you don't want this. You will keep on leading him on. You do before it gets out of hand. I'll try my best to handle him."

"Kihyun, you know how I'm right? I really didn't want to hurt him but this is starting to suffocate me."

"I know you babe chill. It's just a relationship, it isn't supposed to be this stressful." he laughed trying to calm your nerves down since he knew you'll not be able to sleep at this rate.

"This isn't funny." you pouted even though he couldn't see you.

"Tell him now or tomorrow but do it as soon as you can."

You talked with him for few more minutes before hanging up the phone. You layed down on your bed cursing at yourself.

You had to do it otherwise it will get out of hand, it was going to hurt him and you only blamed yourself for it. The look on his face after rejection would have been much more preferable than his heartbroken one.

You got up, reaching for your mobile kept on the night stand.

You took a deep breath before opening up his inbox.

You : what are you doing..?

You : are you home yet?

You : I'm sorry about earlier but I want to talk with you...

Sent

You took a deep breath, waiting for his reply. You went inside your bathroom washing your face and doing everything else to avoid the nervousness building up inside you.

Soonyoung : I reached few minutes ago and had dinner. What do you wanna talk about?

Read

This was now or never, you encouraged yourself as you looked at your phone.

You : I think it will be great if we just break up, I dont think this is working anymore. I'm sorry...

Soonyoung : Is this because I gave you the ring? I'm sorry if you think it's too soon, I can wait. Seriously, believe me. But don't do this, don't leave me.

You : I'm sorry Soonyoung, I really don't feel anything for you, I thought the feelings would come after spending time with you but it didn't I'm really sorry, I can't do this. The ring was really beautiful but I felt really guilty I'm sorry. Please don't contact me from now on.

Soonyoung : So is this how it is?

Soonyoung : how could you?

Soonyoung : you seriously hurt me.

You : typing...

Blocked

You closed your eyes when your message couldn't get delivered, he fucking blocked you? You laughed at yourself, you were feeling awful about yourself but you prayed that he'll find someone who will treat him like he deserved, unlike you.

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