#Napoleon himself sees Andrei and commends his courage but Andrei barely notices because the sky is so so beautiful

[queenlucythevaliant]

'Yes, that old oak with which I saw eye to eye was here in this forest,' thought Prince Andrei. 'But whereabouts?' he wondered again, looking at the left side of the road and, without realizing, without recognizing it, admiring the very oak he sought. The old oak, quite transfigured, spread out a canopy of dark, sappy green, and seemed to swoon and sway in the rays of the evening sun. There was nothing to be seen now of knotted fingers and scars, of old doubts and sorrows. Through the rough, century-old bark, even where there were no twigs, leaves had sprouted, so juicy, so young that it was hard to believe that aged veteran had borne them.

'Yes, it is the same oak,' thought Prince Andrei, and all at once he was seized by an irrational, spring-like feeling of joy and renewal. All the best moments of his life of a sudden rose to his memory. Austerlitz, with that lofty sky, the reproachful look on his dead wife's face, Pierre at the ferry, that girl thrilled by the beauty of the night, and that night itself and the moon and ... everything suddenly crowded back into his mind.

'No, life is not over at thirty-one,' Prince Andrei decided all at once, finally and irrevocably. 'It is not enough for me to know what I have in me- everyone else must know it too: Pierre, and that young girl who wanted to fly away into the sky; all of them must learn to know me, in order that my life may not be lived for myself alone.

From War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

#there are so many gorgeous passages in W&P that i could pick #why not this one in which Andrei reflects on several of them? #I've already talked about the Natasha and the moon passage on this blog. truly one of the most beautiful scenes I've ever read in any book #but part of what's so interesting about that scene is that we actually get it from Andrei's perspective. he's listening below the window #and overhearing Natasha that night is really what makes him love her #it's what made /me/ love her #and he carries that experience with him alongside his own experience looking up at the sky on the battlefield at Austerlitz #Napoleon himself sees Andrei and commends his courage but Andrei barely notices because the sky is so so beautiful #the lofty heavens which he never really considered before #but Natasha did #and so it's those moments his friendship with Pierre this old oak that renew his lust for life #life is not over at thirty. once i heard a girl exclaim at the loveliness of the moon and wish to fly away. #once i lay on a battlefield and all i could see was the beauty of the sky #and my friend Pierre believes in the future and he's searching it out #and look. this tree is still here #first time i read W&P i was honestly so relieved that so many people got happy endings the tragedy of Andrei's death didn't fully register #i mean the chapters concerning his death are beautiful and sad. the kinship between Natasha and Maria at his bedside #the peace he finds as he dies #but it really is a story in which he had decided to live fully only to die young. and that's become increasingly tragic to me as I've grown #happy birthday tolstoy #russia where are you flying to? #pontifications and creations