#No robin can hide from B or Alfred bc baby Bruce absolutely found all the good weird ass hiding spots a small child can wedge into

[redrobin-detective]

Listen, we know Bruce was traumatized by his parents’ death but I hold that even before they were killed Bruce Wayne was a little weirdo. Like his paranoia and difficulty with emotion and attachment are from that terrible night. But I imagine 8 year old Brucie was OCD as hell and painstakingly arranging and rearranging his things to his satisfaction. He was meticulous, even as a child, very detail oriented. Highly intelligent, showing a boundless curiosity and determination to understand everything from a young age. I bet he was hell to enforce bedtimes on, always to do much to do and too little hours in the day. 

Bruce was that kid who dragged bugs in the house for study, pulled down all the books on one shelf so could arrange them in height order, skittered around the house’s many passages like a little rat. He was the kid who was happy and cheerful but a bit awkward from growing up a Wayne, he would much rather squirrel away somewhere with a book considered too old for him than talk with people he didn’t know. He loved the macabre in the way weird little kids too, he wanted to see Zorro for the action and the violent fight scenes. Thomas and Martha Wayne had to listen to their precocious son ask them time and again how they thought they would die and listen to his speculations.

I want the Justice League to have to go back in time for whatever reason and they expect Bruce to be a delightful, happy, normal child. Instead, they find a kid with a lovingly worn Sherlock Holmes omnibus under one arm, an entire bag of raisins in the other, dark circles under his eyes from late nights reading and he’s covered in dust and debris from getting stuck behind the drywall again. 

“You’re not mom and dad’s friends,” he’d say in a petulant voice with a familiar set of his mouth. “I’m gonna call my butler and he’s going to kick your butt.” And the whole League loses their mind because Bruce really has always been Bruce.

#Bruce being a perfectly normal child is broke #woke is Bruce was a Weird Little Girl before he ever had trauma #Alfred knocks on his door to call him to dinner and Brucie Wayne is performing a seance to raise his great great grandfather to find treasur #he definitely wrote on the walls and floor when he was thinking too hard and needed to write something down #DEF was that weird kid who liked sneaking up on people and hide in small odd places #No robin can hide from B or Alfred bc baby Bruce absolutely found all the good weird ass hiding spots a small child can wedge into #he carries weird shit on him at all times in case he needs it #he works so hard to be seen as smart and mature #he's a bit of a brat but in kind of a charming way bc he's so sweet and thoughtful #he gives his mom a frog he found in the pond for mothers day #he's still dripping wet and covered in pond scum and grinning so proud as he deposits the frog in her manicured hands #we need more weirdo baby bruce wayne