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letsgetrowdy43 · 1 year

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Chapter three— in all fairness

Au Masterlist!!

Philippe sat on the couch, the stubbornness of his daughter racking his brain as he tried to give her a bottle, his attempt lasting nearly twenty minutes and was fuelled with agony, “Flo, baby, you gotta eat my girl” he whispered as he bounced her on his knee, “your mama makes this look so easy.” The little girl stared at him for a second, her eyes glossing over as she stared at the bottle in his hand, her bottom lip wobbling as Phil tried to work the nipple of the bottle past her lips, “please no tears baby,” he mumbled to her as she whisked her up into his arms loud wails coming from her as he rubbed her back. “Where’s my smiley girl?” he asked while pulling her away from him to look her in the eyes, the cries slowly dying off as her tiny hands find the plush of his cheeks and squeeze, a smile growing as he pulls her back into his chest to places kisses all over her face, “There she is,” he says in between kisses.

“I get why people say you get your stubbornness from me,” he said grabbing the bottle again to attempt to feed her once again. “It's easy,” the young woman said from the doorway, startling Philippe, “You just have to let her hold it herself, she’s recently discovered independence” “Oh thank god you’re home,” “Yeah yeah,” the girl smiled as she dropped her bags on the ground to grab Flo from the man who was now in a hurry to get to campus, “go to class, have a good practice tell the media team I miss them” “I owe you my life,” he said as he kissed his daughter on the cheek before handing her over, then he placed a quick kiss to her mother's temple before searching for his car keys. “What's new” the girl mumbled as she sat down on the couch with Flo resting against her chest.

She grabbed the bottle off of the coffee table and smiled as she sat Flo up on her lap and placed the bottle in the little girl's hands, “now little Miss, time to eat” she said as they watched Phil triumphantly find the keys and run out of the house in a rush to make it on time class. Her phone lit up, a notification reminding her about an essay due the next day that she had completely forgotten about, “Oh shit” anxiety grew in her chest as she reached for her phone to look at the assignment, “fuck, okay” she groaned as she hiked Florence up on her hip to go and grab her computer and textbooks.

“Hey, sweets!” A voice behind her startled her as she entered the kitchen. “Holy fuck Jay you scared the shit out of me,” she said breathlessly as she looked at the three boys who all smiled back at her. Her eyes travelled down from Jay’s face to his shirt, her brows furrowed at the ‘I love hot moms’ in big bold writing across his chest, “you like my shirt, I wore it with you in mind” the man smiled innocently as Nolan high-fived him, the two of them ignoring the woman’s loud scoffs. “This is why Nick is my favourite” She pointed to the quietest guy who now sat on the couch as the group of four found themselves working their way towards the living room, Nick looked up from his phone with a small grin and waved at the baby who reached out for him, “see how he sits there smiling and stays quiet?” Nolan put his hand over his heart and pretended to act wounded, going limp and falling into the couch dramatically, “Is this what betrayal feels like?” He questioned as he looked at the woman, hoping she would say something to make him feel a little appreciated. “Suck it” Nick mumbled as she passed him the baby.

“You look tired,” Jay said in a serious tone as he passed her the coffee they had picked up for her on the way over, “Here.” “I just remembered that I have a paper due tomorrow in my child development class” She frowned and stood up from the couch in search of her laptop that she had meant to grab before they showed up, “I'm stressed, but Flo is due for a nap so I'm hoping to start it then,” the woman gave a defeated shrug as she settled back onto the couch “Hey, we will take Flo with us to practice, make Truss watch her while we all practice,” Nick said softly as he took the baby from the mat on the floor and placed her on his chest as he took her little hands and started to play with her. “That’s not fair to him.” “The idiot is out on an injury and still has to go to the mandatory practices if anything you’re doing him a favour and relieving him of boredom,” Nolan said with a scoff, the boys loved when she visited, it kept morale high so her visit would help the team and Jacob out a lot more than they let on.

“Can you at least text and ask him first before I send my child off with him? I don’t want to just assume he’s okay with it” she asked as she looked over to Jay who was already on it. “Give me two seconds,” he said walking into the kitchen to call him.

Nolan smiled as Nick handed him the baby, a smile on her face as she ran her chubby hands over his moustache, “I think that's a sign to shave” “She loves it” he smiled as the baby yawned and rested her little head against his shoulder, “do you need anything before we go?” “No no, I just need some quiet” she grinned watching as they pretended to be offended by her words. Jay came into the room and gave everyone a thumbs up, pointing to his phone to let the boys know that they needed to leave in order to make it to practice in time, “want us to drop you off at the library?” Nolan asked as the woman stood up to help them get Flo ready, she shook her head and grabbed a warm set of pyjamas from Florence's freshly clean laundry basket “Okay, let us know if you need anything and we'll make sure Phil gets it”

“Thanks Jay” she smiled as she scavenged for a clean pair of baby socks. “Anything for my fav Milf” he joked “Choke,” she said in a dead tone, lightly hitting him in the chest as Nick passed her the baby to change. Jay smirked and watched as she ignored his laughter, “You love me, I know it”

Nick opened the front door, “where’s your car seat?” The girl looked up from the babbling baby, Flo was squirming making it hard to change her “You’re a hundred percent sure that he’s okay with it” “I wouldn’t lie to you about this, read his texts” Jay said as he grabbed Flo’s snowsuit and maize Michigan hat, or her ‘rink fit' as mum liked to call it. “Okay the car seat is in my car, let me go and get her dressed quickly” She started to change Flo before Nolan swooped the baby and her clothes off the couch. “You stay sat, I will go get her little diaper bag and the necessities, don't worry I know the drill” The girl frowned before opening her mouth to interject, “Don't try to cut me off and say you can do it, I'm aware you’re capable, I just want to help you out, I've decided to be kind” “You guys all suck” she closed her mouth and folded her arms over her chest as she death stared Nolan. “Hush”

Once the boys are ready and Flo is in her car seat the three of them stood at the door with proud smiles, “You guys call me if anything happens,” she says sternly as they all nod, “and tell Truss that if anything happens to my baby on his watch I will break his other arm.” Nolan laughs at her threats as he lifts the carrying to make Flo wave her little hand to her mum, “Yeah sure, anyways, we love you go do your assignment.”

-❀-

The woman smiled at her phone, three texts from Mark popped up on her screen, two little photos of him on the ice holding the baby in his arms, Flo’s little hands on the flushed skin of his cheek as she smiled up at him. the baby raise hat on display as she giggled, it was merely a photo but the woman could hear her baby’s laughter through the image. The other photo is of him hugging her against his chest, her little hands now wrapped around his neck and pulling at his long strands of hair, as she placed a kiss on his cheek. Mackie stood on the other side of him and placed a kiss on Mark's other cheek, mirroring Flo’s actions. It is impossible to stop her face from warming up as she reads the tiny caption “Always knew I was her Favourite”.

She stares at the two photos for a few seconds longer, she doesn’t even know why, it's like she’s trying to pick apart every aspect of the photo, trying to decipher what about these images are making her stomach feel fluttery and her chest tight. Convincing herself that it's just the cute way her daughter smiles in the photos, the happiness displayed on her daughter's lips as she hugs the boy.

She highly shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut and dropping her phone back into her lap so she could return to her work, the essay had been coming along very easily as she finished finding her sources and her outline. The intro paragraph wrote itself and now she just had to finish the bulk of the work.

Her phone began to ring in her lap just as she went back to staring at her computer screen, her eyes stinging from the brightness of the screen. Philippe’s contact photo pops up on her phone as she looks back down at her phone. “I’m about to ask you a question, and feel free to say no if you’re too stressed,” he said, the girl was able to hear his smile over the phone as the boys in the background all chatted in the locker room. She smiled as she heard Duker softly singing to Taylor Swift in the background, Flo squealing in the distance, “What’s up?” “The seniors are having drinks at their house tonight and I was wondering if I could join them?” he asked, his voice wavering on guilt and desperation for a yes.

There was something so familiar about this occurrence, the conversation felt like it had happened at least a hundred other times. A constant loop of Phil asking for lenience and her letting him live the life he had pre-Florence. This conversation was happening almost every other weekend, him asking to do things that normal twenty-year-olds do and her letting him go off and experiencing life, the way it was before their daughter. She couldn’t say no to him, because she had held a lot of pent-up guilt about their situation, like his new way of life had all been an accident and all of the blame falling onto her shoulders.

The girl's smile faltered as she looked at the time and the amount of work she had finished so far, annoyance wracked her brain as she let out a short sigh, followed by a “yes.” Phil profusely thanked her and apologized as Steve and Jay cheered in the background. “How are you getting Flo home?” she massaged her temples, remembering her daughter was stuck at the rink. "Mark and Eddy offered to drop her off on their way home,” he said shortly.

"Can you give Mark the phone?" She asked as he silently agreed and handed the phone over to his teammate who stared at the man who ushered for him to put it up to his ear. ”Everything okay?” he asked as he was met with silence on the other end. The woman softly sighed as she shut her laptop and got up to retrieve her sweater, ”I can go pick her up, Phil shouldn't be putting his responsibilities on you" she said the ending bit in a hushed tone as she searched for her keys in her bag. “It's fine really," Mark shook his head, the phone now balanced between his shoulder and ear as he snatched up Flo from her spot on Luke's lap and put her back into her car seat,” besides, if he’s putting the responsibilities on anyone it's you, I'm just driving her home" Mark reasoned as Flo ripped her hat off of her head and giggled.

"He needs a life too,” she felt like a broken record, that sentence seeming to be the only words ever leaving her mouth. “You deserve a life just as much as he does,” he paused to let it sink in for a moment, "me and Ethan will be over with her in 20 sounds good?” She softly frowned on the other end “perfect”

-❀-

Mark and Ethan had come and gone, staying for a bit to help Mum with the bulk of getting Flo settled and ready for bed. Ethan had left the two of them for a brief period of time to go and pick up Dylan, Adam, and Luca from the party that they had deemed boring.

The boy sat with Flo in his arms as he feed her one last bottle before bed, “I don't get how she is so perfect” he whispered as she closed her eyes, lazily drinking from the bottle as she fought off sleep. “she gets it from me” the woman joked as she reached forward and took the bottle out from Flo’s mouth. Mark looked up at her seriously, “She does” his tone held not a single ounce of humour as he handed the now sleeping baby over to her mother, the woman softly murmured to the little one as she cradled her to her chest.

He watched with soft eyes as she smiled down at her daughter and then back up t him, he was always there in moments of need, or even the softest of domestic moments so far in her journey of motherhood.

“I wasn’t meaning to tell you how to handle yourself earlier, I know I sounded harsh,” he said as she looked back up at him with confused eyes, completely forgetting their phone call earlier, “It's just that you treat yourself so unfairly, he gets all the freedom at your expense” Her lips formed a straight line as she shook her head, “it’s fine, no harm done,” it was now his turn to frown, she was always so dismissive to her own emotions.

“When was the last time you went out with the girls, or even just joined us for drinks while he stayed in?” She shrugged her shoulders and thought for a second before the answer came up as nothing, “never I guess.” “That’s not fair to you” he reasoned, a sad expression on his face as he watched her look away from him, blinking back tears, “I love Phil, we are teammates, brothers even, but that’s not fair to you.”

Mark’s phone began to ring, startling the both of them as he looked down at the caller and back up at her with soft eyes, “the boys are here so I'm gonna head out,” he ushered out the window to Luke’s car. “Thank you” she whispered as he placed a kiss on the side of her head, a sad but knowing look on her face as she stood up to walk him out, the baby still on her chest as her eyes began to water, chalking her burst of emotions up to exhaustion. Mark put on his sneakers as she opened the door and waved out to the boys in the car who smiled back at her, “call if you need anything” Mark whispered as he ran his thumb on the soft skin of Flo’s cheek as a sort of goodbye, “promise?" She gave him a soft look and nodded, he stared at her waiting for verbal reassurance, “Yes Mark.” “Good.”

It wasn’t long after she was awoken from her bed, a slightly tipsy Philippe stumbling into her room with an expression of worry on his face as she sat up in her bed. “Phil?” “Yes?” He mumbled as he laid himself across the bottom of her bed, letting out a soft sigh as she sat up, her pyjama top was twisted and her hair a mess as she wiped the sleep out of her eyes, her arms folding over her chest as she turned on the lamp beside her.

Phil groaned at the light as he propped himself up to look at her, a soft smile on his face as his vision travelled over to the crib next to her bed, “Where are the boys?” She asked pulling him back into reality. “Still at the seniors,” his hand found her shin, drawing shapes on her skin to occur himself from staring at her, “I needed to come home.” Her brows furrowed as, “Are you okay?” “I’m fine” he started, “but we need to talk” “We do?” “yes.”

He slowly stood up the shut the door, just in case someone came home, a frown on his face as he stared down at his sleeping daughter, “Have you ever thought about us?” “In what way Phil?” She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut to fight off the exhaustion creeping back up on her. “Like together, a couple?” “I’m confused?” “I think I'm in love with you!” He blurted out loudly gaining a soft cry from Flo who was awoken, the woman sat frozen for a second, staring at Phil as he waited for an answer.

She then stood up from her spot, not daring to blink as she walked around the crib to retrieve her crying daughter, her heart was loudly beating in her chest as she read an unreadable look on the man's face. His eyes were hazy from the booze, his cheeks flush from the heat of the party and what she assumed to be the sprint home. “Phil, you’re drunk,” she bounced the baby on her hip to settle her as she made her way back under the covers of her bed, he sat back down on the bed. She shook her head as he grabbed her hand to make her look him in the eyes, “I'm not, I’m nearly sober,” she frowned at him, pulling her hand away from his grasp to run it over her face, not believing his lies.

The woman let out a sigh as Flo went silent once again, her face cradled in her mother's neck as the rocking continued, “I don't know what you want me to say to this Phil” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes as she shook her head, vision blurring with tears as his hand re-found hers. “I just wish I could understand how we can do this,” he motioned between them, the baby, their current life, “ we literally created a life, and you still have not an ounce of love for me” he whispered back, tears now rolling down his cheeks as his thumbs wiped away hers. “Philippe, I love you so much, so deeply” Her sentence got caught in her throat as she placed Flo down on the bed in front of her. Her cries were so intense that her body shook, and trembling hands reached out to wipe Phil’s tears away, “I promise I do love you, I just don't love you in the way you want Phil.”

“I think if you really loved me, I think if you really loved this family you would at least try to,” his tone was so serious and so cold that she backed away from him, her hands letting go of his as she physically moved away from him.

Her jaw dropped as she let go of his hand, “That’s not fair to me, to you, or to her” “I'm not being selfish, I just want our daughter to experience parents who love one another,” his voice now less a drunken whisper and more an annoyed tone.

“That’s such bullshit, Phil,” she said numbly as she stood up from her bed to find her phone and the baby’s diaper bag, “I think it's really shitty of you to show up to my room, confess your feelings and then tell me I'm basically failing my daughter cause I don't love you in a romantic way” her voice grew venomous as she found an old hoodie on the floor of her closet and slipped it on “That’s not-" She cut him off by opening her bedroom door and motioning for him to make his exit, “no you don't get to speak to me right now, I'm done listening” she wiped her tears again and ushered him out of her room, before shutting the door and rummaging through Florence's drawers for some spare clothes.

She dialled her phone and waited as it rang three times before a tired voice picked up on the other end, ” Hello?” “Can me and Flo come and stay with you for the night?” “I'm on the way”

I feel like the reader needs a nickname, so please lmk what you think fits her :)

Also sorry (kinda, not really) for the update literally taking a month. I've been through it with adulting and shit, so we are just gonna pretend that this didn't take me an entire month to finish...

#mylittlestlovesau!!#mark estapa #mark estapa fic #mark estapa x reader #philippe lapointe #umich boys #umich hockey #umich imagine #luke hughes #ethan edwards #dylan duke

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