#Phoe's Shadowhunters Recap

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters Recap: Season 1

[all Shadowhunters Recaps here] @nightingalestakeflight​​

All the while, Jocelyn and Luke changed their last names and lived in peaceful hiding in the mundane world. Jocelyn became an artist, Luke became a cop, both raised the baby together and tried to protect her from Valentine by actively gaslighting her for eighteen years. And, like, not in the way fandom uses it. They were so busy convincing Clary that reality isn't reality, every time she saw something supernatural, that they took her to a powerful warlock named Magnus Bane to actually alter her memories.

(Clary Fray and Luke Garroway, who should be her dad, but her mom was an idiot. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, Jocelyn)

That works until Clary's eighteenth birthday, when she goes out to celebrate with her best friend the nerd Simon - and gets dragged into the supernatural.

(Clary Fray and Simon Lewis, best friends since diapers)

They run into Alec, Izzy and Jace, who are there on a demon slaying mission. The thing is, those three are using their rune-magic to be invisible to mundies - which works on Simon, who can’t see them, but doesn’t work on Clary, who can see them, since she is a Shadowhunter. Clary is startled and when she runs back home - it’s to find her apartment trashed, her mom gone and a demon waiting for her. Thankfully for her, Jace was intrigued by the supposed mundie who could see him and followed her (because it’s not like Shadowhunters just casually live in the world; there aren’t that many anymore and they live in the Institute and work there too).

Jace gets very involved from the get-go, Izzy is very friendly with Clary and is also on board with helping her, Alec is incredibly against this idea. He’s outvoted.

(Clary Fray and Izzy Lightwood. Looks gay. Isn’t actually gay though)

They investigate and find out that Clary is Valentine Morgenstern’s daughter. At the same time, Simon - who may not have understood what was going on but wasn’t going t let his best friend do this alone - gets kidnapped by vampires and, consequently, turned into a vampire by (Magnus Bane’s ex-girlfriend) Camille.

Their investigations lead them to Magnus himself, since he was the one who had taken Clary’s memories as a child. To piece the whole picture together, they think they have to get those memories back. Additionally to everything else, Magnus is also the High Warlock - basically, the warlock in charge of all warlocks in New York (though he bears the title “of Brooklyn”, which makes little sense and is unnecessarily confusing).

(Magnus Bane, magnificent warlock)

Naturally, that doesn’t work out so easily, because Magnus had fed Clary’s memories to a memory-demon “for safe-keeping” and to get them back, they would each have to sacrifice a memory of the person they love the most. For Alec, that’s Jace. Not because they’re parabatai, but because he’s in love with Jace - a thing he has been hiding for many years at this point now, so this makes Alec panic and break the circle and thus spell, causing Clary’s memories to be lost forever due to just how deep he is in the closet.

Meanwhile Luke, whom Clary hadn’t sought out due to a misunderstanding after overhearing half a conversation, is revealed to be a werewolf and Valentine’s parabatai and he also claims the title of alpha of the pack now, so he can protect Clary better. They now also learn about the existence of a Jonathan and about an ancient artifact known as the Mortal Cup that Jocelyn had stolen when she disappeared.

This mess unfolding in New York also reaches the higher-ups and the Clave sends an envoy to seize control of the New York Institute from the Lightwoods, because the whole Valentine-revival-party apparently made them think that maybe it’s not a great look to have two former Circle members be the leaders of an Institute.

(Lydia Branwell, badass envoy of the Clave)

Alec, still very deep in the closet, thinks it’s a good idea to get married to Lydia. Perfect beard. Also perfect solution to getting his family back in power, because usually a married couple rules an Institute.

I’m skipping over some minor details here, because they don’t factor in the overall plot, but Izzy’s Seelie on-again-off-again boyfriend Meliorn gets arrested and rescued by Izzy, which causes her to get arrested, Camille (the vampire clan-leader) gets fired because she turned Simon into a vampire without his consent and instead Raphael (who is like a son to Magnus) is promoted.

We are now going on a side-quest to an alternate universe because - and, just, don’t question certain things, they don’t necessarily make sense, they make plot - they need a thing that they can’t find in their reality and Jocelyn was carrying a shard to a portal so Clary goes seek that portal to check in that alternate reality to find the thing. It gave us a visual of soft pastel Jace, so I’m not necessarily complaining here.

Meanwhile, Inquisitor Herondale arrives in New York as judge for Izzy’s trial. She’s basically the highest figure of authority in the Shadowhunter society.

(Inquisitor Imogen Herondale. A GILF with power and authority. Kill me now)

While Imogen, Izzy, Alec, Lydia and also Magnus - who jumps in as Izzy’s lawyer for no really understandable reason (meaning: he is not a lawyer) - are busy with the trial, Jace and Clary, on their way back from the alternate universe, find Michael Wayland. Very much not dead. Only that he’s not Michael Wayland, of course, he’s Valentine, who once again took that form to mess with his children’s head.

This time, by telling them they’re both his children. Which, they are. But he makes them believe that they are both his biological children and that Jace is Jonathan #1. Since no one aside from Valentine knew that there were two Jonathans, this works. Because, well, at that point in time it made quite sense; if Michael was really Valentine, then Michael’s son Jonathan must be Valentine’s son Jonathan (at which point, let me note: Shadowhunters are not creative when it comes to naming their children).

This reveal is very disturbing for Clary and Jace, who over the course of the past eleven days of knowing each other have developed a mutual crush on each other. (Yes, all of that has happened in less than two weeks so far. Which, at this point in time, is actually still a believable timeline, honestly.) Also, they find Jocelyn here, with Valentine, but she’s in a magic coma.

Izzy is cleared off all charges, Lydia and Alec are pretty much set for their wedding, yet another acquaintance of Magnus’ comes up as useful in all of this but he turns out dead, Magnus is developing a crush on Alec and is being pushing about Alec maybe not marrying a woman considering he’s gay as a rainbow. Which Alec doesn’t want to hear, because the gay’s gotta stay in the closet and he also can’t quite deal with his own blossoming attraction to Magnus.

It’s the day of Lydia and Alec’s wedding (after a long-lasting four day engagement)! And everything goes to shit. Naturally.

Magnus crashes Lydia and Alec’s wedding in the plot of a twelve year old’s first fanfiction, dramatically sweeping Alec off his feet in front of all of his co-workers and family, despite the whole rampant homophobia and the fact that Alec was so deep in the closet he was ready to marry a woman just a second ago. This one wasn’t written for the plot, it was written for the ship, hence the personal judgement of “a twelve year old’s first fanfiction”, because the dramatic moment’s serious repercussions are just... skipped. Shadowhunters kind of forget to be homophobic from hereon out and Lydia is very okay with this public embarrassment too, all works out well and Alec has gained a boyfriend with zero personal consequences despite having spent all his life fearing said consequences!

(A side note: Tackling big topics such as homophobia and then just not actually tackling them and dealing with the realistic outfall of them is one of this show’s biggest flaws. They just kind of pretend the big, systemic problem... goes away.)

In the aftermath of the failed wedding, a close friend of the Lightwoods betrays them and steals the Mortal Cup. (It had been hidden inside a tarot card that Jocelyn’s best friend had kept safe. They had found it and wanted to bring it to the Clave after the wedding.)

The group - Magnus, Alec, Jace, Izzy, Clary, Simon - chase after it, but Valentine tricks them. He threatens to kill them all if Jace doesn’t go with him. Jace chooses his friends’ safety over his own and goes with his abuser.

#Season 1 #Shadowhunters #Shadowhunters Season 1 #Phoe's Shadowhunters Recap #Phoe's Random Show Rants

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters Recap: Season 3

[all Shadowhunters Recaps here] @nightingalestakeflight​

Okay, here we go. Final season.

Magnus is no longer High Warlock, having been demoted after siding with the Seelie Queen during the war. He’s also an alcoholic now. Just, mentioning it here instead of repeating all the time how his drinking increases; he drinks more and more and more, becomes snarkier and isolates himself more this season, plagued with PTSD from the torture he had to endure while in Valentine’s body.

Meanwhile, a serial killer has started killing people. An ominous, dark figure whose face we do not see. It’s Jace. Because when they didn’t bother tracking down Jonathan’s body, he had summoned mommy dearest with his last strength and now Lilith is on Earth, seeking revenge on the one who had killed her baby boy. Conveniently, for her, Jace having died and coming back left him mentally weak and allows her to sneak in and manipulate him, possess him. Making him kill people without Jace noticing. All those kills aren’t just random; they serve as sacrifices so she can bring Jonathan back to life.

The new High Warlock replacing Magnus has a bit of a cock-measuring contest with Magnus going on. Bit funny, bit annoying. Same can be said about him.

(Lorenzo Rey, funny but annoying to equal parts.)

Relationship update: Jace and Clary are now officially dating, Simon is now dating Maia, Isabelle has a very short-lived thing with a mundie named Charlie, Magnus and Alec are back at it as of the last season’s finale and they are now rekindling things with Maryse (remember: mommy dearest made a 180° after ditching her cheating husband. It cured her homophobia and racism!).

Raphael’s sister dies. She was old, so no funny business there. Just... a very heartbreaking moment for Raphael, in which he finds (platonic) comfort from Isabelle, showing the two rekindled after the whole addiction-to-each-other.

His sister’s death triggers an urge in Raphael. He missed so much with her, including her funeral because it happens during the day. He becomes obsessed with curing his vampirism. For that, he starts experimenting on this girl, Heidi, because she had been accidentally sired by Simon (remember how Simon was accused of murder for a hot second? She was the murdered party! But she’s not dead. Just a vampire now). After escaping from Raphael, Heidi naturally wants revenge. Most people don’t take well to being locked up and tortured.

Jace all the while starts to think he’s losing his mind. He has visions of Jonathan, can’t sleep, has these blackouts that he can’t explain. He talks to Luke, who had been friends with Jace’s biological parents. Turns out his biological mother had some serious mental issues and was suicidal too; naturally, the show doesn’t name what exactly she had, it’s just vaguely suicidal problems, as TV shows like doing. Natural conclusion that he comes to is that he has the same mental issues (which, I do consider canon anyway; boy’s been suicidal for two seasons now).

He’s ready to seek professional help... but Clary stops him from doing so, claiming she can find a “better” solution. That solution is to summon the angel that Clary and Jace had freed from Valentine’s imprisonment - promptly getting him killed by Lilith without getting actual answers.

Simon all the while has his own issues. He has a suspicious roommate named Kyle and when him and Simon investigate the guy, they find out that he is actually Kyle Jordan, Maia’s ex who turned her, and he was sent by the werewolf council to keep an eye on Simon, because aside from being a Daylighter and thus walking in the daylight, Simon now bears something called the Mark of Cain that makes him indestructible. Remember how last season finale, Simon made that deal to stay in the Seelie Realm? Yeah, the Seelie Queen used that to place this mark on Simon and then kind of let him go again.

Magnus does the so far dumbest thing he’s ever done by brewing an anti love potion; a potion that will make someone fall out of love and forget that love. Because Lilith gives him a fake name and a fake story that appeals to him. Magic this powerful that affects someone who has no say in this... should maybe, I don’t know, get screened first. Lilith needs the potion because supposedly Jace’s love for Clary prevents her from fully possessing him. She slips him the potion when they meet up in a bar.

Alec and Magnus have yet another argument, this time about Magnus’ immortality. Where Alec only now realizes that dating an immortal means... dating an immortal. And where Magnus mocks him for only realizing that now. Both have a point. They never address this issue again and also never propose any kind of solution or approach to go about this, at all.

Everyone finally learns that Jace died. Which had been kept a secret... uh... for plot-reasons, I guess. Not for logic reasons, for sure. Especially since everyone had seen Alec’s parabatai rune fade when Jace had died. But Jace is now fully possessed so Clary finally comes clean.

Jace, now fully possessed and for some reason being referred to as the Owl (it does not look like an Owl. I would provide a visual at this point, but quite frankly, that shit was nightmare fuel so I’ll spare you), goes and kills Imogen Herondale. Also known as Jace’s only family.

After that, Alec, Izzy and Clary manage to capture him, locking him up and bringing him to Magnus to fix him. Which is much harder than anticipated. He sends Isabelle and Alec inside Jace’s mind, where they realize Lilith has been mentally torturing Jace too by making him kill Clary over and over and over again. This season, basically, just piles trauma after trauma onto Jace. They manage to get him back, buuut then Lilith knocks out Magnus and kidnaps Jace.

Clary gets arrested for high treason, since she summoned the angel and used the holy wish for selfish reasons to bring Jace back to life, getting her sentenced to death. She, uh, gets out of this - let me stress this: this death sentence she got for reviving someone - by reviving Valentine, because the Clave has some questions for him still. Zombie Valentine does for a great distraction and Jace-as-the-Owl breaks in and kidnaps Clary.

Because Jace is not the only one Lilith is angry with.

Heidi the vampire girl holds Simon’s mundie family hostage to mess with Simon, revealing the truth to his mom, who did not take it well and unlike Scott McCall in Teen Wolf who just gave his mom a little time to get used to it and explaining it to her, Simon immediately concludes that he needs to fake his own death, erase her memories and instead make her believe that he’s dead, literally not even giving her a day to digest that her entire world was turned upside down.

Luke is abandoned by the pack. You might have forgotten, but he became alpha, right? He kind of forgot too. All he did as the alpha was use the pack to help Clary, losing a lot of lives in the war and not really... doing much for them. They got fed up with that and kicked him out.

Magnus feels guilty about Jace, since you know he made the potion that made it possible for Jace to be fully possessed in the first place, so he decides to go to Edom (that’s hell) to make a deal with his father, who agrees to help in exchange for Magnus’ magic and immortality. Good parenting all around. /s

However, Asmodeus thus breaks the possession and Jace gains full control of his body during the final show-down. At this point, however, Lilith already managed to raise Jonathan from the dead, using Clary as a means to tie Jonathan to Earth.

It is now also revealed why the Seelie Queen put the mark of Cain on Simon, because it has the power to banish Lilith, which Simon does in this finale. (Note: Simon tracked down the real actual Cain. Turns out that making Cain a vampire who could walk the Earth at day too had been Cain’s punishment for the whole brother-murder. We do not delve deeper into that, or the implications this has on faith and more specifically Simon’s faith because he’s Jewish.)

Jonathan kidnaps Clary, but after Simon used his mark to banish Lilith, there is so much destruction, they assume that she has been killed too.

(Jonathan’s real face, because resurrected, he doesn’t use Sebastian’s borrowed one anymore.)

Some time passes, because this was the mid-season finale, and Luke and Jace go out to search everywhere for Clary, believing her to still be alive. They find her in Paris and save her, but due to the rune tying her to Jonathan, she’s kind of compromised.

For completely inexplicable reasons, the show decides to make Luke and Maryse become a couple.

Heidi took over the clan - because Raphael has been banished for the experiments he did on her. And she is trying to stir some shit between wolves and vampires, killing nearly the entire pack - and leaving Luke framed for it. Maia kills Heidi in a very badass manner by injecting herself with holy water and then making Heidi feed on her, consequently killing her.

Aline Penhallow returns to the Institute! She doesn’t do much, sadly, but I guess it was the set up meant for more in the following season.

That alcoholism of Magnus’ keeps getting worse, because now he lost his magic too and feels useless without it. He tries borrowing magic from Lorenzo, but it does not become him, making him cough up blood.

Alec thinks that with the alcoholism and the PTSD, what Magnus really needs is marriage so he gets the family ring to propose to Magnus. Look, I’m not trying to be ship-salty here, but seriously. What Magnus needed was therapy and someone to call him out on the alcoholism and helping him get help. Marriage doesn’t fix real issues - but the writers don’t know that, because they suck so badly, they live in a pink-tinted world where love fixes all problems. As can be seen by mentally ill Jace, who has his load of PTSD from the previous two seasons already and has now just killed 40 people including his own grandma, but we will never bring his mental illness up again and he is a happy camper again now because Clary is back and they are in a relationship so all of his personal problems are magically fixed too.

(Note: Holy shit the saltiness in my notes about this season make the ocean taste sweet. The writers made a lot of very subpar decisions this season.)

Moving on. Simon goes undercover and finds out that Aldertree - yeah that bitch’s still around - has been experimenting on imprisoned Downworlders, “curing” them with something called Heavenly Fire. Raphael is now human again!

Clary has been going back and forth; trying to kill Jonathan, then helping him again, imprisoning Jonathan, then breaking him out again. The bond’s making her a bit wonky. So Jace goes undercover pretending that he will join them, which was just such a brilliant plan, truly, how could anyone ever doubt this would work. Clearly, it doesn’t, but he learns that Jonathan is trying to kill the Seelie Queen.

Alec breaks up with Magnus, after he summoned Asmodeus to try and help Magnus. He makes a deal with Asmodeus to break up with Magnus in exchange for Magnus’ magic being returned. Magnus will not question how his father returned to Earth and why he would give Magnus his magic back.

Magnus finally gets his act together and banishes Asmodeus to limbo.

Maia becomes the new alpha.

Jonathan tears reality apart, breaking a rift open between hell and the Shadowhunters’ home. Seeing as Alec truly has impeccable timing, he proposes now, just before Magnus sacrifices himself going through the rift to close it from the other side.

This is where the season ends and the show got cancelled. Thankfully, we got a two hour special at least tying up the loose ends.

While Alec is busy planning the wedding, Jonathan is still out there killing people. Luke uses that stuff Aldertree made to cure himself and become human again. Simon and Isabelle are getting together - sorry, forgot to mention, after two weeks of dating, Simon and Maia broke up again, I don’t think there was a reason aside from the writers remembering that Maia isn’t Simon’s endgame.

Isabelle goes to hell, because when her and Simon were investigating Aldertree, everything exploded - including the thing Aldertree was using to make his magic removal potion. It is now embedded in Isabelle’s skin and somehow makes her immune to hell.

The others follow her, because Clary is basically god now. After creating a resurrection rune, she is now creating a rune that ties Downworlder and Shadowhunter powers together, allows them to share. These are not normal rune-powers! Her special angel blood allows her to just break all known laws of magic and create new super powerful stuff. Like a god.

The Heavenly Fire embedded in Isabelle allows her to kill Lilith and also destroy hell. Don’t question it.

Clary gets a warning from a different angel, because the angels kind of don’t like that she’s down there playing god. No more creating new runes, or she will be punished. Should, quite frankly, be easy enough to do.

She does not do as she is told. Her brother has been out there literally wiping out entire Institutes (he also had sex with the Seelie Queen and then killed her). Clary is the only one able to get close enough to by now totally overpowered Jonathan and she... hugs him to death.

That’s not even a joke. She hugs him to death. She creates a new rune that gives her angel wings. And then she hugs him and summons her wings and uses them to hug him too and for some reason - something something demon blood something something angel blood, would be my best guess - that hug kills Jonathan.

She could have just stabbed him to death. She really liked stabbing things. But the writers needed her to break that one simple to follow rule so she had to create a new rune here, you see. Plot-reasons.

Magnus and Alec immediately get married. I feel like I need to remind you that three months ago, Alec was still in the closet and Shadowhunters were still deeply homophobic, but now we are celebrating Alec’s gay wedding inside the Institute, with all Shadowhunters present too. They truly did end homophobia with their love and man as a queer person I am so salty with those writers including homophobia as a big deal just to shrug it off and pretend “but you see, those two love each other. Love is beautiful! - oooh. We, the homophobes, now see that gay love is beautiful!”... Just don’t include homophobia at all then, please.

Clary starts losing her memories during the wedding and walks out. Outside, she loses them completely. This was the great punishment from the angel. Let me remind you, she is the freaking main character of this show. But instead of giving her the spotlight and happy ending that is going on over there *motions to wedding*, they are kicking her out of magic society and ending her alone.

Worry not, there is a time-skip though and it aged me a year too.

Luke, Clary’s father figure, is now living in Brazil, happy with Maryse and working for the very Clave that had turned its back on him when he got turned into a werewolf, but hey he’s a Shadowhunter now so they take him back and hey he takes them back to and it’s so much more important to have sex at the beach than to be close to his daughter who lost her memories. Sorry. Salty again.

Alec is somehow now the Inquisitor, the highest position the Clave has to offer, after only one year time. Even if you take the whole homophobia that would have definitely kept him from gaining this much power entirely out of the equation, it is still a ridiculous timeline to consider for a guy in his early twenties. But we see him be happy and successful in Idris, logic doesn’t matter.

Bat and Maia are now together and happy and successful, having taken over a restaurant.

Simon and Jace are now friends and even after a whole year, Jace is still hung up on Clary and apparently stalks her from a distance which Simon, her best and oldest friend, thinks is unhealthy. He’s right, but it also kind of sucks that Simon and Luke have seemingly moved on from Clary.

Clary is now an artist! But she is also miserable because she is all alone and doesn’t remember her life.

In the final shot, we see Jace stalking her art gallery showing, they lock eyes... and her memories come back to her. Making everyone in the audience question why exactly the writers thought it necessary to take them in the first place, because, again, Clary is the freaking main character of this show and goodness gracious did she deserve better than that ending. But hey! She got her memories back after a year of existential angst, so yay! /s

And that’s it, that’s the whole show. The end.

#Shadowhunters #Shadowhunters Season 3 #Season 3 #Phoe's Shadowhunters Recap #Phoe's Random Show Rants

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters Recap: Season 2

[all Shadowhunters Recaps here] @nightingalestakeflight​​

So Jace has won a luxury cruise with daddy dearest, all torture inclusive. While Valentine tries to torture him into obedience, the Clave has gotten more active. Clearly, Lydia didn’t do what the Clave wanted - first she gets engaged to a Lightwood, then the Mortal Cup is stolen away from right under her nose - so she is replaced as head of the Institute by Victor Altertree.

(Victor Aldertree, a bitch with small dick energy)

While Jace is being tortured - it bears repeating - people at home are turning against him. Aldertree, in the name of the Clave, sends out a DoA on Jace, suggesting that Jace going with Valentine was a sign of cooperation and betrayal against the Clave. Jocelyn has now been caught up on “btw your son is alive and uh it’s Jace” and she is not a fan, because - and I kid you not - when Jonathan #1 was a tiny toddler incapable of speech or bladder-control, he withered a bunch of flowers with his demon-powers, so the natural conclusion for a mother there is to go out and hunt your now twenty year old son with the intend to kill him at sight, instead of, I don’t know, giving him the benefit of the doubt or talking to him at least once before the death sentence. And, in the department of shitty parents, we are also joined by the Lightwoods, who feel like Jace is no longer beneficial to their family and that he should be cut out of their lives.

(Maryse Lightwood, a really shitty mother; she continues on referring to Jace as “a cancer” that needs to be cut out)

Jace isn’t exactly Team Jace anymore either, because Valentine, still leaning into the “Jace is Jonathan #1″, suggests that Jace has demon blood in himself. The fact that Jocelyn actively tries to kill him isn’t exactly helping.

Clary gets kidnapped by Valentine and together, Clary and Jace manage to flee - but an innocent werewolf dies during that, at the hands of Valentine. Jace ends up blamed and nearly killed by one of the werewolves.

(Maia Roberts, a werewolf with serious anger management issues. But we like her)

Alec’s at the brink of death at this point, because he made Magnus use dangerous magic to try and track Jace down. But Jace makes it just in time to save Alec’s life with their special soulmate bond magic. And then Jace gets arrested; remember, the DoA.

Jace spends a few days imprisoned and tortured, again, but hey, this time it’s not his father but instead his boss! Improvement?

Valentine breaks him out, but more as a side-effect of stealing the Soul Sword - the second of the ancient artifacts.

With Jace out of prison, Aldertree turns to a different person to torture: Raphael (new clan-leader, son-figure of Magnus). He’s trying to get details on the whereabouts of Camille (former clan leader, who fled and no one can find her). In the end, Magnus is forced to choose between the woman he once loved and the son he loves now and he ends up tracking down and delivering Camille to the Clave.

A demon breaks into the Institute and possesses Alec, using his body to kill Jocelyn. (Side note: This is done partially because Jocelyn has fulfilled her role as The Thing Everyone Is Looking For and partially because the writers want to force Alec to get along better with Clary, which he hadn’t so far out of jealousy over Jace but that’s getting awkward now since Alec’s dating Magnus and they couldn’t find a natural way of making Alec and Clary bond, so they have him kill her mom and feel guilty about it.)

Alec’s guilt drives him to nearly help her raise Jocelyn from the dead, which is just overall not a great idea in general.

Now that Jace is free (again again), he is still being punished (for... having been abducted and tortured) by being banned from fieldwork and made to do all the demeaning tasks Aldertree can think of. After a few days, he’s had enough of the work place harassment and the fact that his home doesn’t feel safe anymore so he leaves and... moves in with Magnus Bane.

(Jace interrupting Alec and Magnus’ first date to become Magnus’ new roommate)

Other things happen.   Luke’s sister, who was also a Circle member, is revealed to be an Iron Sister, which are the special magic blacksmiths of the Shadowhunters, and she becomes semi-helpful in Clary and Luke’s attempts to find Valentine. She helps Jace and Clary find the angel that Valentine had kept captive, whose blood is coursing through Jace and Clary’s veins. Aldertree gets Isabelle addicted to vampire-venom-based drugs for virtually no given reason whatsoever aside from him being a little bitch. Soon, the drugs are not enough and Izzy starts seeking out a vampire; Raphael.

(Raphael Santiago, snarky vampire clan leader and actual canon ace icon)

Clary and Simon are getting together, because Simon has been in love with her since they could walk and Clary is really trying to get over her crush on her supposed brother. (Side note: At this point in time, Clary has spent two thirds of her time of knowing Jace thinking he is her brother.)

Remember how Clary and Alec tried to raise the dead? Yeah, that comes back to bite them in the arse. The witch they sought out was actually running a warlock breeding facility (yeah. not kidding), where she made deals with human women and as payment, they got forced to bear demons’ children. One of those kids got kidnapped by Valentine and since Clary, like a dumbass, just blank agreed to things, she is now magic bound to find the kid, Madzie.

(Madzie, a ray of sunshine)

This one’s relatively irrelevant to the plot, but I have to bring it up for the audacity of bullshit of it: It’s revealed that Robert Lightwood cheated on his wife. That’s it. That’s the big justification for her being a shitty mom. Everyone hugs it out with her and treats her like she’s the poor victim now and with that her entire personality gets replaced by a Sudden Good And Supportive Mom for the rest of the series. No arc, no growth, just “my husband cheated on me uwu I divorce him. I’m good mom now!”. If I had to pinpoint only one thing I hate and wish I could change, it’d be this. What bullshit.

Anyway, Clary, Jace and Simon go and track down and try to save Madzie. Maia, in another one of her rage-fits (I meant the thing about anger management problems) tries to kill Clary for a bit, but they get over that. The saving Madzie part doesn’t exactly go down smoothly, because it leads to Clary getting abducted by Valentine, then saved by Jace and Simon, but that ends with Simon getting abducted by Valentine. (Side note: Getting abducted by Valentine is a bit of a rite of passage, really.)

Valentine slits Simon’s throat, because that’s just what a father does with his daughter’s boyfriend of whom he doesn’t approve, am I right, guys? /s

Jace, posing as Clary, saves Simon’s life, nearly at the cost of his own, and then - since that one didn’t kill him - continues on to the next suicide mission. Which, sounds sarcastic, is meant literal though; Jace is definitely depressed, suicidal and has other Not-Named mental issues.

He thinks he can destroy the Soul Sword (at the cost of his own life), which would mean Valentine can’t use it anymore. What makes him think that is that he still believes he has demon blood. He doesn’t. So the exact opposite happens and he accidentally activates it instead. This raises questions.

(Side note: Questions that should have come up after the alternate reality stint, because Clary and Jace were very much dating in that alternate reality where magic didn’t exist. Which. Should have led them to wonder “mh. strange, if you are my brother, should we not have been raised as brother and sister in that world?? How come we weren’t siblings but lovers instead?”. But I digress.)

Questions are then answered in an incredibly forced manner, because the Soul Sword has the perk of not allowing one to lie. And, despite it being entirely unprompted and there being no actual reason to reveal this, Valentine tells Jace that he is not actually Clary’s brother, while holding the Soul Sword. This, again, serves not the plot, but really only the ship.

Also the angst, seeing as Clary is happily dating Simon right now. Simon is a Daylighter now, by the way. Meaning a vampire who can walk in the daylight. That’s due to him having fed on Jace and the pure angelic blood in his veins purifying part of the vampire-curse away for some reason.

The hot Inquisitor returns, because shit’s hit the fan again. And after the second envoy of the Clave lost the second of the Mortal Instruments the big boss lady decides to take charge herself. (Side note: Those ancient artifacts - the Mortal Cup, the Soul Sword and the Mortal Mirror - are known as the Mortal Instrument. Feels like it should be the Mortal Sword then though.)

Clary learns that Jace isn’t actually her biological brother. Isabelle is attacked and meets a very helpful and Not Suspicious At All pretty blonde Shadowhunter named Sebastian Verlac.

(Sebastian Verlac. He’s pretty. Don’t trust it. He’s just Jonathan Morgenstern, wearing the pretty face of the boy he is literally keeping locked up in his closet)

Everybody’s an idiot when a demon kills people and they think it’s a good idea to summon said demon. Obviously does that backfire, I mean seriously. The demon body-switches Magnus and Valentine with each other.

Valentine-in-Magnus’-body kidnaps Jace (boy needs to catch a break) and throws him around a little. Magnus-in-Valentine’s-body is all the while being tortured by the Shadowhunters because they think he’s Valentine.

At which point Inquisitor Herondale comes into play again and her being here now is quite convenient, because Valentine uses Jace as a bargaining chip when he reveals that Jace is actually the son of Stephen and Céline Herondale. Making him Imogen Herondale’s grandson, whom she had assumed had died together with his parents back during the Circle War.

Bodies are being switched back, Valentine gets arrested, Jace and grandma have a brief and awkward reunion.

At which point the show decides since it so splendidly tackled homophobia, they should get their grabby hands on racism and solve that too. Jace’s past one-night-stand turns into a serial killer targeting Shadowhunters, making them super paranoid about Downworlders because she leaves marks of all kinds of Downworlders on the victims (draining blood like a vampire, claw marks like a werewolf), so they... decide... to chip... Downworlders. Like dogs.

See, on a meta-level, Shadowhunters work as an oppressive force and an allegory for a corrupt police force and how that is meant to serve and protect but instead intimidates and abues power. Driven even more home by the fact that the majority of Shadowhunters we meet are white and the majority of Downworlders are people of color. Interesting angle, shit execution.

Because they find the serial killer, solve the case, unchip the Downworlders and uh kind of brush the whole thing under the rug. No racism here. This wasn’t a sign of a much deeper problem. Certainly not an issue that should at the very least be addressed among the Downworlders we personally know. Nope, instead, Maia ends up fucking Jace behind the bar, after he removes her chip, which is a totally normal reaction to that.

(Maia and Jace behind the bar. Love that scene. He’s such a bottom)

In a move of total nepotism, Inquisitor Herondale appoints Jace as the new head of the Institute, who just immediately appoints Alec instead, which... makes them go full circle, I suppose, but also entirely defeats the purpose. Also, let it be marked that within one and a half month, they have now gone through six heads of Institute, making it literally an average of one week rule per head (Robert/Maryse -> Lydia -> Aldertree -> Imogen -> Jace -> Alec). Amazing.

In a sidequest that, once again, does not serve the plot but instead just the ship (side note: you may have noticed this to be a theme, because it is. The show writers are on the overall more concerned with shipping than with plot coherency or logic), Jace, Clary and Simon go to the Seelie Court to meet the queen, who plays mindgames with them and forces Clary to kiss “the one you desire the most”, meaning she kisses Jace in front of Simon, breaking Simon’s heart very publicly.

(Jace during the Seelie Court quest, just, casually and for no reason calling Simon’s face “pretty” #NoHomo)

Alec as the new head of the Institute is starting a little club, the Downworlder Cabinet, where the leaders of the different fractions gather together to... discuss politics, or something. Mostly they just bicker when they’re shown so I’m unsure what they did when they actually got anything done. This includes: Alec as the head of the Institute, his boyfriend Magnus as the High Warlock, Magnus’ basically son Raphael as the clan-leader, Clary’s basically dad Luke as the pack-leader and Izzy’s ex Meliorn as the representative of Seelies. Conveniently, we already know all of these people.

Aline Penhallow joins the show, as Sebastian’s (real Sebastian, the one in the literal closet) cousin! She’s not really important to the plot, but she’s a lesbian and also I love her so she bears mentioning.

(Aline, my beloved. Probably the second biggest reason I mourn that we didn’t get a fourth season where she could have, you know, played an actual role)

Magnus is suffering some serious PTSD from having been tortured by the Shadowhunters, but this show being this show, that’s never actually... resolved, as in making him see a therapist on a personal level, or the Shadowhunters confronting the fact that maybe torturing people for answers isn’t a great approach to policing. Magnus becomes an alcoholic to numb the pain. This is only discovered several weeks later by his boyfriend though, despite Magnus’ incredibly obvious behavior about it. Not that Alec’s the only one to be blamed here, no one really... does anything to help or speaks up. I’m judging them all for that, btw. Magnus deserved better.

Valentine escapes prison, because of course he does. He’s being transported from New York to Idris - in case I didn’t mention that yet; the Shadowhunters’ main base is a magical mystical fantasy country named Idris that is located between France, Germany and Switzerland. On the transport, Jonathan-still-posing-as-Sebastian breaks him out by blackmailing one of the Shadowhunters responsible for the transport.

(Side note: Still can’t believe that losing Valentine Morgenstern during a regular-ass prison transport wasn’t reason enough to once again switch out the head of the Institute, seeing as just how fast and loose they played with that so far.)

Everyone’s in a bit of a panic, because well duh the genocidal terrorist is loose. Clary and Jace travel to Idris to find her, but they just find Jace’s childhood home and the disturbingly detailed documentations of his childhood abuse, which includes the fact that there’s two Jonathans documented in there. So far, they kind of just assumed Jonathan #1 died and Valentine replaced him with Jace. But during their little trip Clary has a chat with that angel who had been held captive in Valentine’s basement - normal thing to do - and he reveals that Jonathan is still alive (fails to reveal that he’s pretending to be Sebastian though).

They are now looking for the third Mortal Instrument, the mirror. Meanwhile, Alec and Magnus’ relationship is slowly coming apart at the seem due to them mutually lying to each other, Alec now realizing that he’s dating an immortal, Magnus mocking Alec for that but not actually talking about the issue, Magnus not talking about his PTSD and Alec ignoring his alcoholism, also there was that whole bit with the chipped Downworlders that also put a strain on their relationship because Alec wasn’t exactly vocal about being anti-chipping, Alec snooped around in Magnus’ private things despite being told not to.

Simon and Izzy are teaming up to train Max into becoming an active Shadowhunter, but the kid’s a bit too curious and tackles too much on his own by trying to track down Jonathan Morgenstern. He succeeds and is nearly killed by Jonathan-as-Sebastian.

Clary, Jace and miracle character Dot think they found the Mortal Mirror. (Side note: Dot is Jocelyn’s best friend mentioned in season 1. She is also a warlock who used to date Magnus Bane. And she kind of died like three times on this show, or what looked like “this time for sure though” just to reappear when the plot required a named warlock again. Bit of a deus ex machina character. This time, she dies for good though. I think.)

At this point, Magnus and Alec break up, because to top off the above listed issues that have been piling up, Magnus also decided to join the Seelie Queen during this war now.

Max is in a coma, they realize that Jonathan is alive and in the Institute, so they put the place on lockdown after Clary and Jace return with the mirror. Just to realize the mirror is fake. They also realize the Sebastian is fake.

Not really noticing any of this due to not being Shadowhunters, Maia and Simon are blissfully unaware and on their first date, where they find a newly turned werewolf who has literally nothing to add to this plot because he has a total of like five lines and two minutes screentime but I love him and much like Aline, most likely would have gotten more to do if there had been a season 4.

(Bat Velasquez, a cutie pie who deserved better)

The Shadowhunters track down the real Sebastian, who is now dead in the closet, and then track down the real Jonathan, who is dead after an epic showdown between Jace and Jonathan to determine who the better J.C. is (Jace’s words. Not mine).

(Jace being incredibly extra as he takes off his weapons holster to fight Seb. I’m a simp so I had to include this. Sue me)

Jonathan dies. More or less. Conveniently, he falls off the bridge so he survives just barely. Enough to crawl onto land and summon his hellish foster mother Lilith, who is going to come into play next season.

The Seelie Queen, who is an obsessive stalker for Simony now by the way, abducts his girlfriend Maia, which forces his hand and makes him strike a bargain with the queen, freeing Maia but forcing Simon to stay in the Seelie Realm.

Jace and Clary track down Valentine. On their own. Because they’re idiots. (They are. They always do things alone and it ends horribly. See: Seelie Court and forced kisses, portalling to Idris to find Valentine the last time which nearly got them killed, now this.)

Naturally, this doesn’t end well. In fact, it ends in Jace’s death. Because Valentine kills him. Don’t worry, it doesn’t stick. Because the lake where they find Valentine is the actual Mortal Mirror, which makes so much more sense than a hand-mirror. It’s the place where the Angel first appeared and created Shadowhunters, using that sword and that cup (because you drink the blood, not inject it into the womb via needle, Val). With all three Mortal Instruments present, Valentine can summon the Angel, who will fulfill one wish. Val wants to use that wish for genocide, so Clary quickly murders her father and then uses the wish to bring Jace back from the dead.

We end the season on a victory celebration between everyone, because yay, Valentine is dead, this time for good. And after having been broken up for literally two days, Magnus and Alec get back together, without having resolved a single above listed issue. Simon’s imprisoned in the Seelie Realm now and Clary is toasting to having killed her father like that’s not super traumatizing (regardless of what a dirtbag he was). And Jace is trying to convince Alec that he is Totally Fine And Did Not Actually Die (which Alec isn’t buying because his parabatai rune faded from existence for the duration of Jace’s deth). Surely that’s the end and everything will be roses and sunshine from hereon out. No dire consequences to, say, bringing Jace back from the dead, or Jonathan’s body not being recovered.

#Shadowhunters #Phoe's Shadowhunters Recap #Season 2 #Shadowhunters Season 2 #Phoe's Random Show Rants #season 3's not gonna happen today though #tomorrow. maybe

[takaraphoenix]

yes, actually i will take that shadowhunters bedtime story

Okay then, children, settle in and get your cocoa ready, time for Phoe's bedtime story! And, for this to make more sense, let's do this in a linear, chronological manner and not in the "and then this happened and revealed x exposition about the past!" fashion it happens in the show.

And, listen, this turned ridiculously long so I am cutting it into four parts. This here, the introduction what what happens before the show kicks in and one recap for each season, makes it easier portions for reading too.

Once upon a time, there was a charismatic bigot named Valentine Morgenstern. He was a Shadowhunter.

Shadowhunters, here, are half-angels - humans infused with angel-blood to make them stronger, faster, more durable. They are also capable of using rules to further enhance themselves (though most runes only work temporary magic). Their duty is to protect normal humans - called "mundies", short for "mundane", in this universe's version of mortals/muggles - from demons.

Our antagonist had a wife (Jocelyn), a son (Jonathan), a cult (the Circle) and a superiority complex. Valentine thought that Shadowhunters were better and should, instead of just protecting from bad demons, just erase everyone with demon-blood.

That's where the "bigot" part kicks in, because not everyone with demon-blood is evil. Warlocks/witches are born from a union between a demon and a human, vampires and werewolves transmit their demon-blood through bite and then there are Seelies (elves, just think Legolas, really), who are half angel half demon. Just like with humans, there are good and bad people among them all.

But Valentine wants to destroy them all, so he gathered his little cult of followers who support his cause. Until they don't, in what is now known as the Circle War, where the Circle fought against the Clave (the high council of Shadowhunters, basically) and some Circle members turned against Valentine.

Among them his wife, Jocelyn, and his former best friend, Luke. Valentine left Luke for death among wild werewolves, but Luke survived, albeit now turned into a werewolf. Together, Luke and Jocelyn fled - after they thought Valentine died in a fire.

Naturally, Valentine didn't die. He too fled, with infant baby Jonathan and the spare-child he stole from a pregnant Circle member.

Because, aside from being a genocidal cult leader, Valentine also loved human experiments! He had been experimenting on Jocelyn while he was pregnant with Jonathan, he experimented on her while she was pregnant with their second child, and he also experimented on that other pregnant Circle member, trying to create even more powerful Shadowhunters as human weapons for his cause.

Just like Luke and Jocelyn thought Valentine and Jonathan had died, Valentine had thought that Jocelyn and their unborn baby had died. So he only grabbed Jonathan #1 his biological son and Jonathan #2 the stolen baby. Thankfully, Jonathan #2 goes by "Jace", making it easier to keep them apart. Still, Valentine raised them both as the same person, as his son Jonathan. They were in hiding, Valentine using magic to change his appearance, posing as Michael Wayland and living in total isolation with the two boys.

Until he banished Jonathan #1 to literal hell. Because for reasons unexplained, he thought it was a good idea to infuse his son with demon blood to make him stronger. Naturally, that backfired. (Here's where questions of nature vs nurture can be asked and where the author's decisions regarding "the one with demon blood turned out evil! ...kind of proving Valentine's point of demon blood = evil".)

When the kid got too scary, Valentine banished him to hell, where Jonathan was then tortured and raised by Lilith, queen of demons. We'll get back to Jonathan later.

For now, there is still Jace. Jace, who was a disappointment to Valentine too. Though he had been infused with pure angel blood. At only ten years old, Jace wasn't living up to his father's expectations so Valentine faked his own death in a bloody manner to leave Jace behind. At least he didn't banish him to hell, am I right? /s

Jace, severely abused and also traumatized by seeing that, moved to the New York Institute ("institute" being the base of operation of the Shadowhunters, usually one per bigger city), because that is being led by the Lightwoods and Robert Lightwood was the parabatai of the real Michael Wayland.

A parabatai is a soulmate, a chosen soulmate. Two Shadowhunters can choose to literally tie their souls together. This bond strengthens them and makes them more in tune with each other, sensing each other and each other's pain.

(This arises the question as to why Robert couldn't tell that Michael had actually already been dead for a decade. The in universe explanation: Michael was in love with Robert and Robert was so violently homophobic that he cut his soulmate out of his life to the point that the bond withered.)

The Lightwoods take Jace in. Robert and his wife Maryse have three children; Alexander (Alec), Isabelle (Izzy) and Maxwell. While Alec and Izzy are around Jace's age, Max is much younger than them all.

Jace and Alec grow close. To the point that Alec falls in love with Jace and also to the point where the two of them become parabatai.

(Jace Wayland and Alec Lightwood, two idiots sharing one braincell)

[all Shadowhunters Recaps here]

#Shadowhunters #Phoe's Random Show Rants #Phoe's Shadowhunters Recap