#Ryanna was texting me this morning and I replied but the whole time I had no interest

[zickmonkey]

Oh my god hey besties guess who's having an awful time like mentally

#ironically I have an email to respond to for an appointment with my mental health worker but I don't have the energy to answer #I've eaten approximately one meal and then dessert today. Nothing else. It's 11pm #And the thought of eating just the half a bag (snack sized) of chips makes me want to cry #not to mention the days long urge to take a knife and try to cut out my veins. Like a dissection but I still get to watch #Playing guitar hero last night was great for giving me something to do that didn't make me think #except for the part where every time I missed a note I hated myself more #I ignored my bestfriend for 3 days after proclaiming that everything was bad and I didn't want to be alive #and then when he asked if I was still alive and I replied we had an entirely self deprecating conversation #Ryanna was texting me this morning and I replied but the whole time I had no interest #And at one point I wanted to cry just because nothing was right and it was all too hard #Ryanna is usually my favourite person to talk to #She said she'd text me again tonight (to finish the conversation) and I'm hoping she doesn't #I hope she's too busy #So yeah besties having a hard time lmao #jamie shut the fuck up #personal blog #just vibing #rambling #vent :(