#SO YES LET ME KNOW I CAN SCRAP IT SOOOO FAST ♥♥♥ LOVE YOU LOADSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mythvoiced]

@theimpalpable | the GBEP

If Samuel could will a hole into existence every time he so desperately needs one to just swallow him whole and drag him to the centre of the Earth, a coffin designed perfectly for the kind of messes he's been creating all around this already doomed planet, he'd have turned said doomed planet into the oddest piece of Swiss Cheese ever come into existence.

Which is either a very funny thought or he's bordering on succumbing to the hysterics curling his lips into that odd smile he can't shake off his lips, no matter how inappropriate it feels to wear.

His hands are pressed into his face, eyes freed still and staring at nothing at all, his fingers buried into the beginnings of his hair, messing what is already pretty messy on its own.

This is a nightmare. He hardly has the mental capacity necessary to recognize the possible and very likely implications and ramifications of the creatures he set out into the world, the slow march of decay swaggering about along the bottom of the ocean; being sat directly next to the direct consequences of his actions isn't any easier to stomach as a result, in fact, he's pretty certain that his desiring this to be a dream is teetering dangerously close to him starting to convince himself it is a dream.

Which, of course, would be violently useful.

A psychotic break in the middle of a bar next to a guy who's life he's ruining.

He groans, hands moving to slide over his face, rub into his eyes until he sees stars and begs them to come down upon him like vengeful angels and strike him off the face of the planet. Maybe that would do it. Maybe his death would kill everything he's created along with him, kind of like... killing the sire of a vampire...

"The Sazerac, please," Samuel manages to interject pathetically, which he assumes is not the tone of voice bartenders prefer out of their clients in terms of who they decide to serve and who they'd rather see out of their establishment in the next few 'immediately please'. Samuel has never been refused service before, never thrown enough back to give any barkeep reason to, never crumbled in public in a way obvious enough that it leaves any impression.

But, then again, he's also never half-assed a plot outline and have it lead to meeting the guy said plot outline had forced into itself, perhaps in a weird attempt on the universe's part to fix what he can't, to finally be the author he should be.

Oh, great, an existential crisis on top of the 'supernatural' crisis.

Samuel looks up when the barkeep returns with a glass and doesn't even have the energy to pretend he's surprised when it turns out to be water. He sighs, curses his existence with the exhausted resignation of someone who's given up on trusting in self-curses, and grabs the glass.

He manages a wry smile, charming and handsome, that the stranger is, which is perhaps part of the reason he'd fit so fucking well into the kind of story Samuel had attempted to emulate. Clichés upon clichés, all he'd managed to scratch together, who doesn't love a good explorer story and a Nathan Drake to charm anyone who'd swoon at the easy smile and easy wit?

If anything, Samuel is slowly becoming self-deprecatingly surprised he hadn't realized the moment the stranger had turned his head his way, that this is who he'd been looking for.

He'd tried to find something new to add, something fresh to add to the genre, something to stand out with, and that's precisely while it's now half-deceased and half-abandoned somewhere in a pile of notes with stories just like it.

He hadn't come up with anything that would have made it worth reading above others just like it.

"No, I... I don't think you'll die," Samuel finds himself uttering back, an open-mouthed drag of his mouth to one side to put emphasis on the word 'die', all while he unconsciously peeks over the stranger's arm to watch his sketch unfold. Oh. He can draw, too, he muses, subconsciously adjusting the glasses he sees reflected on the paper.

Charming, handsome, creative, extroverted, makes easy conversations and commands a scenario without ever making Samuel feel like he's backed into a corner by a personality much louder than his own. A guy, friendly, but not overly so.

Samuel has no idea if the plot chose him because who wouldn't fancy a heartthrob protagonist like that - which is honestly just embarrassing to admit - or because if Samuel could pay money to have any of those qualities...

The usual. Is he hot or do I just really, really wish I were him?

Samuel takes a big sip of his water.

He's loosing his goddamn mind.

He's hoping he won't die. He had briefly considered... perhaps a good way to stand out would be to... just...

He slams his hand onto the stranger's arm, eyes blown wide in a frantic panic to fix something he can't fix and prevent something not even happening yet. "Can I have your number?"

He gives himself a few seconds of sirens blaring in his ears before he connects the dots of how he sounds and recoils, only to lurch forward again, an odd dissonance of pulling away, but not appearing... what? Exactly? Damn the bartender for refusing him that drink.

"Not- not like that, wait- uhm, I'm Samuel, hi, nice to meet you, do you think we could...? As in, I would like to help. I think I might be able to- I think you might need my help- this will sound ridiculous, do--?"

He closes his eyes, counts to ten, hates himself a little more, opens them again with an exhale.

"I think I'm partly or mostly to blame for your situation but the reason why I believe that will make me sound insane. But I... need you to believe me and I think... listen, can we talk somewhere else? Maybe...? Or... some other time? Or...?"

#theimpalpable #the samuel;author #HOLY FUCK ALEX THIS IS SUPER SILLY BUT--- I NEED TO MENTION IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND THIS #I DID IT-- I FINALLY MANAGED TO RECOVER ENOUGH MUSE FOR SAMUEL TO FEEL LIKE I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITH HIM #SO I'M?? SORRY IF HE DOESN'T SOUND A LOT LIKE PREVIOUS REPLIES? #I THINK I'M... LETTING LOOSE ENOUGH TO UNCOVER A BETTER CHARACTERIZATION SO YES-- #DKSLGJDFLKGFDKLJFG JUST-- can't wait to see Félix flaunting his new face >:333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 #NOT TO SPOIL THE DASH BUT!!!!!!!1 THAT'S MY GUY RIGHT THERE I LOVE HIM SO #SO YES HI FDKLHGJLKFDGL STILL IN LOVE WITH THIS PLOT AND-- I HOPE THIS REPLY IS OKAY? #i tried to just dip into an authentic thought process for Samuel that's why his head is all over the place #also had to sneak in Félix being yes charming in fact VERY MUCH SO #i'm just such a huge fan of him I HOPE IT'S ALL RIGHT THOUGH? IF SAMUEL THINKS HE'S A LIL HOT? #he's not INTO him like that necessarily but he's attracted to Men and NOT BLIND i just felt it more realistic if he acknowledged that-- #JUST BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS A LIL WORRIED BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IMMEDIATELY TRYING TO START SOMETHING? #BECAUSE I KNOW Félix is straight i'm most DEFINITELY not starting anything #SO DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? LET ME KNOW IF YOU'D RATHER DELETE IT? #i also wanted to add it because i wanted to bully Samuel a bit more by adding a queer crisis on top of it #the good ol' 'am i attracted to them or do i want to BE them' Timeless Classic #SO YES LET ME KNOW I CAN SCRAP IT SOOOO FAST ♥♥♥ LOVE YOU LOADSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also the 'a) i see you again and b) i don't die in the process' is making me chew on pillows i just love that line so much i love Félix so #;queue