#Sisters Insha'Allah and for the sake of Allah

[bintturaab]

Some Words on Marriage:

"We really need to stop pressurizing people into marriages that they either don't want or are just not ready for. I witness so many sisters suffering (and I'm sure some brothers are too) and we have far too many people stuck in unhappy marriages and unfulfilled lives because they rushed one of the most important decisions in their life.

Take your time folks, and for God's sake people in the community, take off the pressure! It's fine not being married at 25 or 30 - whether man or woman. Not everyone finds the right person in their 20s and not everyone needs to settle within that time frame.

Some people are much better off spending those years flourishing in the ways that Allah has written for them - some need to live out their dreams or ambitions, some need to travel or learn, some need their life to unfold or rise and fall, and some need to just grow up and mature. When the right time and person comes, they will all settle insha'Allah - because they actually *want* to settle with that person and begin a new chapter, not because they were pushed and pressured.

There's also the matter of 'settling with yourself'. Dear brothers and sisters, don't get married if you're a hot mess and unstable. Instead use your time to ground yourself; develop spiritually, emotionally, and *be settled*. Some of you also need to 'man up' and 'woman up' to life itself. The worst thing you can do is marry a good soul and then put them through hell because you're so rocky, unprepared or unwilling. Then they leave you and go out into the world scarred and emotionally-wrecked. Everyone then scratches their heads and wonders what happened. Well, it's not rocket science.

Take your time, people. It's a life decision and that means you will be the one living it for life.

Wa billahi-tawfiq."

— Farhia Yahya

#txt #i find this so relevant and on point #especially the part about settling with yourself

[ummmaymoonah]

Hi sis. I feel so lonely like to the point I have literally no one around me that I can talk to about deen and more. I found it hard how I can’t really find any good companions and nice sisters around me 💔💔. Like as much as being lonely is a good thing you do need people around u occasionally to uplift you when your imaan is down 💔. And nowadays friendships doesn't even mean much!

As salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, what country and city do you live in sis? Barakallahu feeki. Be optimistic when you think about sisterhood and hold a good thought as sisterhood is very important to have. It takes time to cultivate sisterhood and a lot of patience. We also have to embody what we seek in other females if we want a good companion we have to give them a good companion in return. 

And if you're a female in 2019, it can be hard finding other sisters to band together with as,

Our priorities change, we feel further and further away, strong female bonds can fall by the wayside as women start to focus more on their education, jobs, spouses, and children. 

I can only advise that you go to halaqah’s of the sisters, masjids, conferences purely go for the sake of Allah to benefit yourself and by way of this insha'Allah you will meet sisters seeking what you seek. I know, it’s often not that easy and you might feel unwelcomed and hoping that sisters greet you first but maybe they’re also shy, one thing that holds a lot of people back from making new connections is social anxiety.  

The Prophet SalAllahu alayhi wa salam said: 

“By the One in Whose hand in my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something that if you do it, you will love one another? Spread Salam amongst yourselves.” [Muslim] 

Be a regular attendee of a masjid, go to the lessons and by this, you will find benefit when your imaan is low and may Allah facilitate it for you to find good sisters. May Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’alaa) grant us all pure, true sisterhood,  and May Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’alaa) increase our Imaan, Ameen!  

[reverthelp]

How can I love someone for the sake of Allah?

Assalaam AlaykumLoving someone for the Sake of Allah is the purest form of love because your ego is not in the equation. You dont love the person because he/she is beautiful, smart, rich etc. You dont love the person because you benefit something out of this love. You love the person because he/she reminds you of Allah! So basically, loving someone for the sake of Allah comes in two ways: in your heart and with your deeds. You love someone for the sake of Allah in your heart because of their position with Allah, and this starts with loving the Prophets and Messengers and everyone who follows them. You should have this love in your heart for other Muslims. Outwardly means that you support that person in the good deeds they do, and you respect and defend them according to their good deeds.This means you don’t love them because you know them very well, or because they brought you a direct benefit or because they have a nice appearance: you love and support them because of their efforts to please Allah! So what happens when you love for the sake of Allah?There are 4 huge rewards: 1. Taste the sweetness of faith.To start with an invaluable reward in this world, the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: There are three qualities whoever has them, will taste the sweetness of emaan: to love Allah and His Messenger more than anyone else; to love a slave (of Allah) only for (the sake of) Allah; and to abhor returning to infidelity after Allah has saved him from it as he would abhor to be thrown into the fire (of Hell). [Al-Bukhari, Muslim] We have to realize that of everything you can have in this world, a taste of the sweetness of emaan is the most precious.2. Enjoy the shade of Allah.Moving to the Day of Judgement, the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said that Allah will ask on this day: Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade. [Muslim] As you see this type of love never dies! This type of love will actually save us insha'Allah 3. The Prophets and martyrs will envy you.The Messenger of Allah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: Allah, the Exalted, has said: For those who love one another for the sake of My Glory, there will be seats of light (on the Day of Resurrection), and they will be envied by the Prophets and martyrs. [At-Tirmidhi] Imagine yourself sitting on seats of light and the best of the best envying you because you made it a priority to love others for the sake of Allah! May Allah grant this to all of us. Ameen4. You will have a high rank with Him.The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: A man set out to visit a brother (in faith) in another town and Allah sent an angel on his way. When the man met the angel, the latter asked him: Where do you intend to go? He said: I intend to visit my brother in this town. The angel said: Have you done any favour to him? He said: No, I have no desire except to visit him because I love him for the sake of Allah, the Exalted, and Glorious. Thereupon the angel said: I am a messenger to you from Allah (to inform you) that Allah loves you as you love him (for His sake).[Muslim] Isn’t this breath taking? By loving someone for the sake of Allah, you gain the love of the Highest and which love is better than His? Alhamdulillah!!So coming back to your original question: How to love someone for the sake of Allah. Here are some of the things we can do: 1. Live for others. Be so selfless that think about your brothers/sisters before you think about yourself. Worry about their akhirat so much that you forget about what you want! Do it only to please Allah! 2. Be patient with others and strive for a clean heart. In your relationship with other believers don’t try to seek the negative side of each word or gesture, be fast in accepting apologies and don’t be selfish. A common issue is the more ‘religious’ some people get, their hatred for others increases. Try to seek the good side in others and always try to find a good explanation or interpretation of certain behaviour or the speech of the other.3. Be a person on whom others can rely in times of need. The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: The believers, in their mutual friendship, mercy and affection, are like one body: if any part of it complains, the rest of the body will also stay awake in pain. [ Al-Bukhari, Muslim ] You might know this hadith, but try to truly reflect on it. Do you truly feel the pain of other believers, does it affect you? As this is a sign of your actual love for another!4. Tell others you love them for Allah’s sake.The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: If any of you loves his brother then he should inform him. [At-Tirmidhi]And Allah knows best