#Soap has a dubia roach colony in his closet for the lizards and hes been trying his hand at gardening but its hard

[cthulhusstepmom]

Price is the first one to suspect something is up. Largely because he has trouble believing that the same man who buys all the god awful frozen dinners has a secret vegetable habit, he barely eats them when they're served for dinner but he almost always has a bag of kale or spring mix in the communal fridge.

When he confronts Soap about it what he didn't expect was a goddamn nervous breakdown, babbling about "ye wernae sposed to find oot, I promise ye they're all wee angels". When he puts his foot down, expecting the worst as he makes the poor sergeant unlock his door with shaky hands, he's pleasantly surprised at the state of Soap's room.

As a rule, he'd put his foot down on room inspections for the 141, mainly for Ghost. The poor boy doesn't need people going through his things he's traumatized enough. Looking Shepherd in the eye and saying "you haven't got a problem ignoring the things we do in the field when it suits."

He'd expected the small room to look like... Well like an explosion had gone off. Instead it's pristine, not an article of clothing out of place, on the window there's even what looks like a slightly pathetic attempt at a garden. What draws his eye is the massive box that runs adjacent to the bed. Scratch that it's a stack of boxes, a large one on the bottom running about eight feet, maybe three feet deep and a couple of feet high, on top of it are a couple of four foot by two foot by two foot boxes. They take up nearly the entirety of the room, making it a tight walkway between the boxes and the bed and there's just enough space by the wall to shimmy around the back to get to the small bathroom.

On top of the two boxes are heat lights and a long strip light. Soap is shaking and wringing his hands as Price rounds the front and stops in his fucking tracks. He'd expected a herd of rabbits to be perfectly frank, hadn't really pegged his sergeant as a reptile person but he supposes it makes sense with just how excited he gets wading in crocodile infested waters.

"Sergeant?"

Soap squeaks out a shaky "Yes sir?"

"Is that a labyrinth mutation?"

Soap doesn't speak for a moment, doing a great impression of his goldfish counterpart. Slowly a blinding smile breaks on his face.

"Yessir"

#Price's uncle used to breed retics #so he knows a few things #hes a little pissed before soap explains that they're all rescues and then he's so proud if his scottish son #Hugo the falsie lives in a bioactive palaudarium in the bathroom #better humidity in there #next time on brain rot: gaz finds out #cod mw2 #fish person gaz #john soap mactavish #john price #reptile person soap #brainrot #Soap has a dubia roach colony in his closet for the lizards and hes been trying his hand at gardening but its hard #pray for him