#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN

[shoku-and-awe]

Okay, so we are well into December at this point, but does anyone feel like doing an advent calendar? Because there's something I've always wanted to show you guys and never have: THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN.

Redacted for suspense purposes.

It’s made of a brittle plastic that if you shake it goes wooba-wooba-wooba, and I imagine it used to hang in an English classroom somewhere in China. It has the conceit of being a poster OF a poster held up by a small child—you can see his little fingers and toes! It has illustrations of 25 different fruits and vegetables, all with their names and one "fun fact" each.

The fun facts are........ all I can say is that they are all over the place, in the best possible way. It's impossible to convey the unhinged joy of this chart, so I'm just gonna show you.

What a strong start! Honestly, I really can't decide which of these I like the most. In terms of important advice, you really can't beat "a potato is not same as a sweet potato." And, as both a linguist and a food person, I am always so charmed by the mismatched plural and deranged sentiment of "these cucumber are really tender." Tender?? Tender cucumbers??? Finally, the sentence "mum always orders me to have much chinese cabbage" has so much personality and flavor. It could be the first line of a novel! And it is also establishes an illustrious tradition of proofreading, where you get to call the same vegetable by two different names in the same breath. Very helpful for beginner language learners!

Anyway, that's the first four, so we are on track to finish by New Year's Eve EST. Check back to learn some really important fruit and vegetable facts and make your December a little sillier!

#the latest literacy wallchart for children #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Good evening, everyone! Let's banish our Sunday Scaries with Day 7 on the advent calendar of THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN. And, not to oversell it or anything, but it's a good one. A really good one, actually. I think I might make you scroll for it.

I am aware you haven't seen every fact yet, but let me assure you that this cabbage fact specifically has been commented on by *everyone* who has ever visited THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN. It is so poetic and resonant and pleasant on the tongue. Almost meditative.

"so large the cabbage is." I wouldn't want to diminish it with excess chatter, so let's just leave it there. I've already said too much. I haven't said enough.

#i thought that i heard you cabbage #i thought that i heard you large #i think i thought i'm a little drunk #THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

It is Wednesday, my dudes! And it's Day 3 of THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN Advent Calendar!

First of all, I love the tone of this one! Somehow I always picture it said by some snobby aristocratic lady—"Celery is a commoner's vegetable"—you know? Animated by old-school Disney (maybe 101 Dalmatians era), a white lady with a ski jump nose and a strawberry blonde bun. The kind of person who says "dreadfully" instead of "very." And I know it's probably that celery is a vegetable that's commonly available, but (1) that's not so much the case here in Japan, and (2) something about the phrase "a kind of common vegetable" really just does it for me. So snooty! I love it. The delivery, in my house, is always (in a pan-Atlantic accent), "Celery is a kind of ...........*sniff*.......... 'common' vegetable."

Also, "a celery." I think we need to embrace this nomenclature. People learning Japanese and Chinese love to complain about how confusing counters are, but English does it all the time too! English delights in doing it! We have a bunch of celery, a stalk of celery, a stick of celery, and when I Googled "how do you count celery," just to be sure that there was nothing else, I learned that celery counting is also an issue for programmers for some reason! Wow. My literacy wallchart really *is* educational.

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar #full disclosure: this webbed site posted an unfinished draft and i didn't realize for hours and hours #so i went in and edited it #(which feels uncomfortable #but not as uncomfortable as not doing so. #i am neurotic! #in other news: fork spotted in kitchen)

[shoku-and-awe]

Welcome to Thursday, everyone! If all went well (I am queuing this), I am in America now. I hope this posts on the right day despite the time difference, but either way, it is time for our daily installment of the THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN advent calendar!

Of all the different fruit and vegetable facts, this one might be the funnest to say. It's certainly the one I say in the sexiest voice. It's best to whisper it a little. Get kinda breathy. Pop the P in tempting.

Also, the beautiful phrase "this crystal pear" has embedded itself in the wrinkles of my brain in a really enduring way. It has such a grace and melody to it. For me, it's lovelier than "cellar door," way up there somewhere with "His wife has filled his house with chintz." Love it. "This crystal pear."

#oops. i clicked publish a week early and sneak-peeked this #let's hope that makes it sexier #THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Good evening, everyone! Welcome to my stressful Tuesday and to Day 9 of the THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN advent calendar!

Today's fact is the first that inadvertently sounds a little bit sexual. Don’t worry—it will not be the last!

In this case, I think it's a matter of combination? Like, alone, "matured" is fine, "sweet" is fine, "tastes" is fine; but "matured + tastes + sweet," all together, is...... hmm. It raises questions.

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Good morning and welcome to Day 2 of THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN Advent Calendar! Brought to you by I am in line at the Immigration Office right now and it is damp and slow.

I love this comparison and I feel intrinsically that it is accurate, and yet, despite having spent the last 7 or so years looking at this wallchart every single day (it lives in my bathroom), I still have never seen a tomato that made me think, “Huh! A lantern.” I do hope that someday I will. If you or someone you love has ever encountered the red tomato that looks like a lantern, pictures please!

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar #the reason that it lives in my bathroom is #because it lived in the bathroom of the friend who bequeathed it to me #it is tradition #also it is amazing that first-time visitors to the apartment come back from the bathroom with topics of conversation #(such as ‘a potato is not same as a sweet potato’ for instance) #at parties they have brought others back in with them #this is such a delightful object and it brings me such joy

[shoku-and-awe]

Coming to you live (well, queued) from Narita International Airport (oh gosh I hope it's not terrible), it's Day 10 of our THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN advent calendar! Today is an auspicious day: we are transitioning from vegetables to fruits!

There is so very too much that I could say about this one..... so I think I will say nothing at all.

#except --- it would be dishonorable of me not to mention #that this was the favorite fact of the person who bequeathed me this WALLCHART #who would say ''it's a red apple [shrug]. what else do you want?'' #thank you bro! this is still one of my favorite things #THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Here we are, Thursday night on Day 4 of the THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN Advent Calendar. Today, one of my absolute favorite foods:

This is actually a great fact for young English learners! Some of the facts can be a bit or abstract or whimsical, but this one is very useful. I think that if you couldn't remember the word "eggplant," you could say "vegetable that is purple" and you'd have a very good chance of being understood! Also, I like how the eggplants in the picture look like little booties that a pixie might wear. Overall, 10 out of 10, no notes.

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar #ooh my cauliflower is burning so that's the end of tags

[shoku-and-awe]

Happy Friday, everyone! It's cold and rainy in Tokyo so let’s get something warming for THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN Advent Calendar, Day 5!

This fact has it all! Two different names for the vegetable in question (both of which arguably actually refer to a different food!)*, article usage that is very slightly stilted, and a piece of useful information about Chinese regional culture. I love Sichuan food and I love spice, so that's extra nice :)

Speaking of spicy Chinese cuisines, I once read that the reason that Hunan restaurants are so common in the US is because it became popular after Nixon ate so much Hunan food on his historic visit to China. HOWEVER, in reality, it was just that any time he liked or asked about a dish, his hosts went and told him that it was from Hunan, because that's where Mao Zedong was from. And actually almost none of it was Hunanese! However, now I can't find that documented anywhere else so I hope I am not telling you a lie!

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar #*to me..... peppers mean bell peppers/capsicum/parika #while pimiento means either black pepper en español #or a southern american cheese spread #or a tiny non-spicy pepper that is usually inside an olive #............................right?

[shoku-and-awe]

Happy New Year, everyone, and a happy 22nd and final day on the advent calendar of my beloved THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN. What a long, strange trip it's been! Let's jump right in, shall we?

The other shoe has dropped! And with some regional Chinese knowledge I might never have encountered otherwise!

To be embarrassingly honest, I have vaguely imagined that someday, I will meet someone from Xinjiang and they won't expect me to have heard of it, but I will ask them about the famed sweet grapes and they will be surprised and pleased that I know this about their home province. And before you ask—yes, actually, I did have the formative experience of meeting an Eritrean who was shocked when I knew where their country was and said that no one ever had before(??), a high that I am sure that my neurotic, pedantic, acceptance-euphoric ass will be chasing for the rest of my natural life.

Anyway. I really enjoyed going on this journey with you all. Thank you for sharing the joy of one of my prized possessions, something that I would endanger myself to save in a fire. Happy 2024, I love all of you and I hope that joy and whimsy and trivial facts will live on in your hearts this year. The advent calendar is ended; go forth in peace to love and serve the fruits.

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Wow, are we having Friday again? Welcome to THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN advent calendar, Day 12!

Now that it's getting so close to Christmas, I should reiterate that this is a secular "advent" calendar and will end on New Year's Eve (EST). Unless I counted wrong, which is not unlikely! But even then, we have several days of fruits more than Christmas. Sorry if that's confusing, but I get to make that decision because this is my blog! Anyway:

I am kind of ashamed to admit this weird take, but years ago, I decided I would not seek to learn anything else about who Monkey Sun is. I am vaguely given to understand that this probably refers to a figure in Chinese mythology, a subject that is normally very interesting to me, but……… I dunno, I weirdly kind of like the version of the world where the only thing I know for certain about Monkey Sun is that he likes the peach. So, while this might change someday, please do not tell me more about Monkey Sun at this time. (If you want to tell me more about the peach, that's okay.)

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Hello, everyone! It is Sunday and it is the 21st day of our THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN advent calendar, and it seems that I did miscount because it is New Year's Eve already and this is only the penultimate day! Oh no! But I think that's understandable across two time-zones with a 14-hour difference, with all the work and holiday stress. Plus, it means more time with these fruits! Look what we have today!

Litchi is a spelling we don't see much! I like it. But lychee is cuter, I think. (Though I hate the double-e when it comes to kimchi; kimchee just looks so undignified!)

If you've been watching closely, you'll notice that this fact is a bit derivative: the descriptor "sweet" already belongs to the matured pumpkin and "juicy," of course, to the orange. But I'm not mad at today's repetition like I was about the lukewarm treatment of the mango. Why? Partly because I just don't like lychees that much (sorry), and partly because at least they bothered to think up two words to describe the lychee. Like, it's called half-assing for a reason; if you're not full-assing, then your ass has room for a second thing! So write two things—it's only the decent thing to do!

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Merry Christmas, happy Monday, and happy Day 15 of the LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN! Today, we have for you:

Strawberry! And strawberry jam IS so tasty! And strawberries are red and green, like for Christmas! I couldn't have planned this better. See you tomorrow!

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Saturday is here, bringing with it Day 20 of our THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN advent calendar! And this is a controversial one, at least in my house. Where the WALLCHART lives.

That.... that is all you have to say about the noble mango? My favorite fruit? The king of fruits? AND you already used "is nutritious" as your carrot fact! What IS this.

I am scandalized. After years and years of looking at this every day, I am still scandalized. This is the only day of the whole WALLCHART that I actually resent. I have a mango allergy and still eat them so I may be biased. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Good morning, it's Thursday again somehow, which means it's time for Day 18 of THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN!

Gosh, I love pineapple. Also: A shoe! Is foot fetish tumblr going to find this post, the way they often do when I have an accidental slipper in the background behind whatever snack I'm holding up? Hmm.

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar

[shoku-and-awe]

Hello everyone! Here we are on Friday, Day 19 of THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN advent calendar! We're getting towards the end!

I honestly am not familiar enough with loquats to comment on this. My English brain was picturing kumquats, which don't really look much like the picture, so I ended up looking it up in Japanese to make sure I even knew what a kumquat was. And yes, I can sort of picture the flavor of a biwa. Couldn't choose you a ripe one, though. And I'm not gonna comment on "fully developed;" we got sexy enough the other day with the cherries.

#getting loquacious with loquats #THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar