#i am neurotic!

[shoku-and-awe]

It is Wednesday, my dudes! And it's Day 3 of THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN Advent Calendar!

First of all, I love the tone of this one! Somehow I always picture it said by some snobby aristocratic lady—"Celery is a commoner's vegetable"—you know? Animated by old-school Disney (maybe 101 Dalmatians era), a white lady with a ski jump nose and a strawberry blonde bun. The kind of person who says "dreadfully" instead of "very." And I know it's probably that celery is a vegetable that's commonly available, but (1) that's not so much the case here in Japan, and (2) something about the phrase "a kind of common vegetable" really just does it for me. So snooty! I love it. The delivery, in my house, is always (in a pan-Atlantic accent), "Celery is a kind of ...........*sniff*.......... 'common' vegetable."

Also, "a celery." I think we need to embrace this nomenclature. People learning Japanese and Chinese love to complain about how confusing counters are, but English does it all the time too! English delights in doing it! We have a bunch of celery, a stalk of celery, a stick of celery, and when I Googled "how do you count celery," just to be sure that there was nothing else, I learned that celery counting is also an issue for programmers for some reason! Wow. My literacy wallchart really *is* educational.

#THE LATEST LITERACY WALLCHART FOR CHILDREN #advent calendar #full disclosure: this webbed site posted an unfinished draft and i didn't realize for hours and hours #so i went in and edited it #(which feels uncomfortable #but not as uncomfortable as not doing so. #i am neurotic! #in other news: fork spotted in kitchen)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs au #MDZS disco elysium au #[Pain Threshold - Formidable 13]: Endure it. #I am once again putting my brain ramblings on display to give me a bit more time to finish the comic this is based off of #I promise this will make sense in context. Maybe. #Disco AU gives me the opportunity to explore the idea of 'what if wwx and lwj were even *more* neurotic and haunted?' #LWJ absolutely would have repetitive nightmares about wwx with the themes of inevitability and helplessness. #Sometimes its him dying as wwx stands by. Sometimes it is him - unable to move as wwx slowly fades away. #Haunted by the past....Lost to the pale tides of mourning. Welcoming the pain just to feel the memory nearby. #See you all tomorrow for the Real Comic (manifesting it by saying it over and over again) #side note: I think wwx would be a great lifeguard. He would love heckling teens and helping out kids and old folks. #Goofy but takes the health and safety aspect of his job very seriously. #There's gotta be an AU for that out there....right?

[kermit-coded]

forgive me, i'm only on episode seven of fantasy high freshman year, but fabriz has bewitched me on the sole premise that i think it would be very funny if riz was fabian's bi awakening. like riz does some dope shit with his gun or is rambling about clues and fabian goes "oh shit".

#listen listen #i am aware that riz is canon ace and aro-coded #but i think they're neat and also im arospec and i get to choose the character i project onto #also i'm imagining fabian trying to woo riz with his motorcycle and it being like 'master what are you doing?' #'master there are women right there' #and fabian is having a breakdown bc he doesn't want the tiefling girl he wants the neurotic adhd goblin with the briefcase #d20 #fh #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fabriz #riz gukgak #fabian seacaster #soda speaks

[historicity-was-already-taken]

This whole exhausting months-long exercise of talking about The Conflict only started because I had the nerve to post here about Jewish resistance in Warsaw during the Holocaust--you know, the topic of my book. A very smug person left a comment comparing Gaza to the Warsaw Ghetto, and I spiraled.

Because that person didn't leave the comment because they were genuinely interested in discussing the parallels which could be drawn, and the appropriateness of such parallels (I've had those conversations offline; they were fascinating, difficult, mutually respectful, and no I'm not repeating them here); they left it to troll me and make me feel like an oppressor for....studying the Holocaust and posting about my work. And it worked. And the fact that it worked made me very angry, and...here we are.

I won't do that shit again. From this point forward I'm going to follow the rule I set for myself back in 2011: no talking about the Arab-Israeli Conflict here unless it's in regard to reference materials.

This also applies to questions in my inbox. Some of them are requests for secondary sources; when my draft is submitted to my editor I'll update the Reading List to include volumes which speak to the history of Zionism(s), and the international context surrounding the founding of the State of Israel. I also might delete some of the material posted between Oct. 7 and now. Mostly because I'm sick of the notifications. But I don't dirty delete, so there's your heads up.

And if any of you are going to learn a lesson from this, I'd say that if you know hostile online interactions trigger your anxiety, you should do the opposite of me and refuse to engage. Or just, you know, don't post about topics you know invite toxic interactions and generally make you into a basketcase (that's me calling myself a basketcase).

Take care of yourselves please, and make sure your activism benefits more than simply your ego.

Now, I'm going to back to writing vivid descriptions of what happened inside Treblinka's gas chambers before the improved group went operational in late August 1942.

#i am one of those/ #melodramatic fools/ #neurotic to the bone/ #no doubt about it

[heybiji]

Human Wizard, Lacuna.

ever make a standby DnD character and immediately go feral over them

#dungeons and dragons #dnd #dnd oc #in a dnd lull so to keep myself sane i am coming up with some character concepts to keep in the tank #gotta have a neurotic wizard with a thousand yard stare #and enough ambition to cause serious damage #i have a couple other pc ideas but they require drawing armor and i love myself too much to do that to me right now #must resist making them all human #i am a basic bitch #style consistency who #saving this dude for a horror campaign #even though all my characters seem to be able to fit well in horror campaigns... look i love horror #the kiss is a tattoo #sometimes you just gotta ask yourself “what kind of dnd character would I want played by 70s Al Pacino?” then make an overwhelmed wizard #with a new york accent #original character #biji draws #oc #manifesting a game and the time to play in it

[stuckinapril]

Going out tonight for the first time in a month. I’m sitting in a leather skirt and a sequined club long sleeve and Naked Wolfe boots. My tits look great. Curls are amazing. The faintest hint of a shimmer on my eyelids. And yet here I am doing Anki cards while we wait for the Uber

#My levels of neurotic are reaching worrisome heights #I’m trying not to feel guilty that I’m even going out rn even tho I haven’t had a night out in so long #I’ve even surpassed my 300+ card limit for the day and yet here I am. Crunching more biochem flash cards. #I love studying but something has to give I cannot relax I’m such a textbook pre med rn #I’m getting smashed tonight that’s final

[fauvester]

old man snoring noises

#ds9 #garashir #BABY. WITH TAIL #ex spies will be like ‘I don’t want to adopt an orphan’ ‘if you bring an orphan home I will not care for it’ #‘I am too busy and also have too many complicated feelings about fatherhood and legacy’ #and two weeks later he’s making a whole little wardrobe for him #my dad got so neurotic about castrating (?fixing?) our boy dog. and thats garak w bappy's tail #like We Need To Do This. and julian like Why. WHAT harm is his cutesy widdwe tail going to do. #if you had kept your tail i would have made a move on you that first time we met in the replimat #but noooo cardassia is anti-fun and docks everyone's tails at birth like fucking cowards

[lesbianfakir]

The reason fakir and mytho ended up like that is because they have a master/guard dog dynamic but mytho is physically incapable of giving orders/leashing the dog so it’s left to run wild. Without a proper structure the dog begins to panic and starts growling at everything, even the master

This is not character analysis so much as speculation but I know in my heart what doomed fakir and mytho to That dynamic in season 1 is that mytho can’t be a little bossy like. fakir gets the rep for being controlling but he has such an intense vibe of someone who wants to be bossed around and in the absence of a proper structure for him he is floundering. The boy puts up a big show of being independent and doing things his way and then he literally drops everything to do whatever Duck wants forever. If mytho was like a teeny tiny bit more assertive and ordered fakir around it LITERALLY would’ve fixed him and solved like 90% of the interpersonal drama they had in season 1 in this essay I will—

#I feel insane for this one #in my defense I am sick #everyone who says fakir has cat energy is dead wrong that boy is a puppy dog #he’s like a neurotic bug eyed little chihuahua that goes yap yap yap #can anyone hear me I keep typing words god knows what they mean #lea talks

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

💕💕💕💕

#i am big enough to admit that i love austen because she gets my particular brand of neurotic and hysterical weirdo #dollsome's deep thoughts #jane austen #you know when you can just tell that you're the most highly strung person in the universe? #but then hey!!!!! there's some just like you upon jane austen's immortal pages!!!!!! #driving her more reasonably minded heroes and heroines cray!!!!!!

[sapphorror]

oh the unbeatable romantic bond between an obsessive stalker and the guy with a pathological need to feel like the center of the universe at all times

#natterings #zadr #iz posting #i joke but i am actually obsessed with this dynamic #both because it IS hilarious #and in a deeply pathetic way legitimately romantic too #having your most desperate dysfunctional emotional desires fulfilled by the one person who actually WANTS them #someone whose attention you dont have to beg for #someone to whom you are actually as central and significant as you delusionally believe you are #or someone that willingly invites your worst most neurotic tendencies #who plays the game and rewards you for your behavior with exciting spectacle and implicit respect #someone who quite LITERALLY thinks these qualities arent just inoffensive but actively make you better than your whole species #my point is they validate each others egos in the most absurd ways and its beautiful to watch

[themagicalfancat]

Brb, I'm gonna go spend 3 months 'revising' (creating the most beautiful revision timetable this world has ever seen and then destroying my body with caffeine, alcohol, cigarettes and what I believe to be amphetamines)

#red dwarf #arnold rimmer #arnold judas rimmer #i am a fish #i am a fish i am a fish i am a fish #not doing it in a 'doing it' sort of way #not going to read into the fact that the unlikable neurotic repressed character is by far the most relatable one in the whole series #midterms are treating me very well thanks for asking

[verflares]

bored. might make a zelink tierlist

#well maybe less tierlist than zelink review. i wanna try out this thing called sharing my 'thoughts' and 'opinions' online #because i love zelink and the core fundamentals of zelink but if i can be so real..... there are some games i kinda dont care abt them </3 #or i have this whole thing in my head where im like it could work IF etc etc. because i am neurotic. #personal.txt

[bombusbombus]

Trying to find superbat fic where they're both just huge fuckin nerds. Why are there so few of those.

#I am scraping the bottom of the boostle barrel and mischaracterisations are starting to chafe #so I was like. superbat has lots of fic #but it has lots of boring fic where theyre sexy in normal ways #instead of being neurotic nerdy idiots #the 'autistic clark kent' tag is a desert #I just want that niche unhinged flavour of interaction #maybe that's why I write more superbat than boostle. cause there's an absolute desert when it comes to the characterisation I like #superbat

[victoria-coren-mitchell-stan]

"Kill them with kindness"

WRONG!!!! AUTISM, USE INFODUMP!!

#shitposting #autism memes #autism #feed the autism #i can pass as neurotical right #WRONG #i am autism

[veliseraptor]

if there is one thing i could at least. get people to think about when they are mocking someone or something, it is "consider the splash zone"

who is this going to hit that you do not, perhaps, actually want to hurt? what people might you be inadvertently catching in the blast radius of this statement? is it worth it?

like, it's not to say "never say anything that could hurt somebody" that's both impractical and unfeasible, but I just think it's worth thinking about and sometimes I feel like people...don't.

#or they do for some things but not for others #i mean. i do not want everyone to be as neurotic as i am #but maybe a little more neurotic sometimes #important text posts

[mixelation]

Question: where do you prefer to receive compliments on your writing? Via asks, in tags, reblogs, comments? Because I like your work a lot and want to tell you how much I adore it but I also don't want to spam your inbox or notes if you prefer one or the other.

Also, what sort of comments do you like and what do you absolutely not like? E.g. short, long, emojis, keyboard smash, quoting back parts etc? I recall that you don't like typos being pointed out?

oh! thank you!! ummmm

i guess i prefer ao3 comments if it was posted there, and if it's tumblr-only, i prefer comments/reblogs. this is so if years later i go through old things, i can see the commentary i got! asks are fine too (especially if you have a general question) but i tend to answer, like.... less than half? and then they get buried

i like a lot of different types of comments! you're right that i do really hate typos being pointed out though (yes, even if they're "funny"). i don't really get comments that are just the same thing on everything the person reads, but i'm not going to get mad at them or anything. i DO like long comments and i don't mind comments that excessively quote the text. I like short comments too, because sometimes all you have to say is "NOICE"

i will say i'm not great at replying to things, but i read every comment and appreciate them <3

#one reason i don't like replying to comments unless i have something specific to say is that #i don't like artificially increasing my comment count?? #i have been told this is a neurotic take to have but i can't change who i am~~ #also an aside on comments: some of you make a comment and then edit it three times #are you aware the author gets an email with the full text of your original comment #and then additional emails containing the full text of every edit you make? #if you do and you still want to comment this way. feel free. go ahead. #but JUST SO YOU KNOW----