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#Tahrin Dara
defira85 · 3 years
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She had a glass of wine in her hand, condensation fogging the outside and catching on her fingers; as he watched, a drop ran down the curve of her hand, leaving a glistening trail over her skin. He watched it, staring avidly until it dripped down onto the floor. 
There was music playing from somewhere in the town, loud and raucous and occasionally punctuated with shouting; Kol’aya made no indication that she’d noticed him joining her on the balcony, staring out into the night with a pensive expression on her face. Despite the glass in her hand, she didn’t seem at all interested in actually drinking from it. Her other arm was wrapped around her stomach, as if she was attempting to hug herself, and there was such... bitterness? No, that wasn’t the right thing he was feeling from her, it was more nuanced than that. But there was something enveloping her, a great sense of something that wasn’t quite anger and wasn’t quite grief and wasn’t quite loneliness, something tangled and messy and complicated. 
She made a small noise, as if acknowledging his presence, but she didn’t look at him. “I’m sorry I left without leaving a note this morning,” she said, her tone curiously flat. He didn’t answer immediately, so she continued. “And I’m sorry you had to take Wara’s call earlier..”
A name, at last. And an acknowledgement that something was amiss. “You don’t like him?”
She shrugged. “I don’t hate him,” she said. “But if I were drunk enough to be honest, I might admit to being... to disliking him. What he represents.” 
It was all so cryptic. “Is this because of me?”
She laughed, the sound teetering on the edge of bitter; she tipped her head back, her lekku sliding languidly from her shoulder. The spots on the lekku matched the spots on her back, still glistening with sweat. “Everything in my life is about you, these days,” she said.
{Read Chapter 26 on AO3, rated E for sexual content and familial abuse}
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icescrabblerjerky · 8 years
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Theron and his Auntie Tahrin, they look about as comfortable with each other as they would be in canon.
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tiefighter · 8 years
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“Tahrin,” he starts, and she forces herself not to tense. Which makes her tense. She’s been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar this time, the swell of her stomach more telling than her reading material and Lane looks like he’s about to start laughing any second now. She’s not sure she wants to hear it. 
“Yes, Agent?” She sighs, resigned. He sits across from her, the joker’s smile on his face permanently pulled up at the edges. It’s unsettling when she can see he’s trying /not/ to smile. 
“You know I’m proud of you, right?” 
That brings her up short. She frowns, caught off guard as he crosses his legs underneath himself, reaching one dark blue hand across the table to touch his fingers to hers. 
“I don’t see how-”
“I know, but listen. I’m proud of you. It’s got nothing to do with being pregnant or finally being a ‘person’ or whatever crap you’re thinking,” He doesn’t smile at her as she catches herself, her uncertainty splashed across her face. She’s not uncertain. Ever. She doesn’t feel things the way regular people feel them. She’s accepted that. “You’re stronger now. You’re not taking any of their shit. I’m proud that you’re standing up for yourself. That you’re doing what you want. I just....wanted you to know that.”
It’s not until after he’s pressed a kiss to her temple, until after he’s left the room that she feels the urge to say something. 
It’s not thanks, it’s-. 
“Thank you.” 
To an empty room.
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defira85 · 5 years
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Scourge shifted slightly, drawing her attention. “There is something on your mind,” he said, as the two of them stared out towards the horizon, over the unbroken sea of green trees and black stone.
Tahrin took a slow breath. “How do you know?” she said quietly
She felt his eyes slide over to her. “How do I know what?”
“When he’s gone,” she said. “When he’s out of your head for good. At what point do you know that you’re free of him?”
“Ah.” He shifted again, settling back and lifting his gaze from her. “I cannot say that I have an answer for that.”
Her fingers curled ever so slightly against her thighs, as if she’d wanted to ball them up into fists but had not the energy to do so. “Because you don’t know when it happened, or...”
“Or because I don’t know if he ever truly left?” He sighed, the sound almost snatched up by the hissing of the wind. “There are any number of viruses and diseases in the galaxy where- even if you are lucky enough to survive an encounter with them- you carry the pathogens within you for the rest of your life, always a risk to others, always a threat. I have long since accepted that our dear Emperor is as such.”
Her fingers curled in further, like claws digging into her trousers.
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defira85 · 5 years
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He tried to wipe discreetly at his eyes as Dia’ayla continued with the lesson. “Force healing can be beneficial when medical intervention could endanger the patient- it circumvents the need for surgery, for example, if their blood pressure is too low to safely operate. And there is certainly a case to be had for the immediacy that Force healing allows, but the point remains that the best care comes from medical treatment supplemented by Force healing, and not the other way around.”
He took another shaky breath and looked down at the twisted limb. “Why use Force healing for this, then?” he asked, his voice an embarrassing rasp. “It seems a fairly straightforward injury.”  
She shrugged. “Merely to demonstrate for your sake,” she said. “And admittedly, our facility has its’ limitations- if there are instances where I know I can get a patient back on their feet and out the door through use of my-” Her mouth twisted in displeasure, “-gift, then I will take advantage of that. It means another patient receives treatment sooner, so I will use that edge whenever necessary.”
The injury looked a day or two old, no longer fresh. The skin was puckered and pink, no longer bright red with the fresh well of blood.
“When you were tending to Kol’aya’s injuries,” she said, and his head jerked up in surprise at the abrupt change of subject, “what was on your mind?”
He swallowed uncomfortably. “‘I...” Gods, it seemed so pathetically clingy to say it aloud. “I didn’t want her to die.”
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defira85 · 6 years
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He snarled again, stomping away from her so abruptly that he almost seemed to be heading for the door, to lock her out in the hallway. “You need to ask yourself what precisely it is that you stand for, Tahrin,” he said, his voice low, threads of anger running through it. She could sense it in him, bleeding faintly out into the Force, uncontained and uncontrolled; she had a brief moment of disdain for his lack of control, but his next words drew her up sharp. “Because right now, your philosophy and your morality suggests you have far more in common with our father than I’m comfortable with.”
She took a slow breath through her nose before she turned to face him, her expression neutral only under extreme effort. “I beg your pardon?” she said.
If he felt the warning in the dropping temperature, he did not heed it. “I don’t need to repeat myself,” he said as he turned back to face her, shoulders rigid and his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “We both know very well that you heard what I said-”
“Oh, I heard what you said,” she said, the temperature dropping further until they were both exhaling clouds of fog into the air. Behind Thexan, delicate spiralling patterns began to form on the glass through to the medbay, ice crystals flowering with increasing speed over the surface. “I just am not quite sure why you felt it wise to compare me to Vitiate.”
“What, isn’t it obvious?” He stepped further into her space, utterly uncowed by the growing warning signs of her rage. “You choose solitude over alliance, convinced above all else that your way is the only plausible way, that you alone have the intelligence and the conviction to see the future shaped as you see fit- plans that you never share with others, that you hoard and layer in order to complicate them further, so that no one will stumble upon your master plan-”
“Stop it,” she said, and she could feel her hands shaking. The cold was beginning to hurt her skin.
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defira85 · 6 years
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Senya instead looked out to the edge of the hangar bay, where the safety fields kept the atmosphere within the ship stable, and beyond which the Gravestone and the flagship were both visible, hanging silently against the stars. “My children are aboard that ship,” she said quietly.
Tahrin inclined her head. “They are,” she said simply. “It is Arcann’s flagship, after all.”
She turned back to her, her eyes haunted. “What do you intend with my children, Lord Wrath?”
“I might ask the same of you, Master Tirall. When you joined my Alliance, you were adamant that your loyalties were without question-”
“And they still are,” she said quickly, half lifting a hand as if to reach for her before realising the foolishness in such a gesture, and letting it fall back to her side hopelessly. “I want peace for the galaxy, Commander.”  
“Your children currently represent a significant impediment to that, Master Tirall.”
Senya bowed her head miserably. “ I am well aware of that,” she said quietly.
“Then what are you doing here?”
In an agonized whisper, she said “I can’t let you kill them.”
Tahrin was grateful that her helmet meant she was not expected to make eye contact with the other woman. “That is not your decision to make,” she said solemnly.
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defira85 · 6 years
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The Canon Eight
Battlemaster Ona’la // Lord Wrath Tahrin Dara
Jedi Master Asmi Adhi, Senate Attache // Kallathe Jen’zuska, Darth Nox
Doctor Aruha Adarias // Aranth’ess’anrokini, Minister of Intelligence
Colonel Ellaz Hervoz // Ysaine Pierce, Leader of Clan Lok
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defira85 · 6 years
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Swtor toons and hobbies
I was doing some brainstorming today trying to think about hobbies for one of my characters and realised I was sorely lacking in that department for a lot of my characters. So to that end, I wrote a stupid long list of characters and the things they do to waste time and indulge themselves
Ona’la
Endurance training, especially weights and long-distance running 
Parenting/baby-sitting/crechemaster duties at the academy PILE MORE BABIES ON HER SHE LOVES BABIES
She has a soft spot for action holoflix and romcoms. She likes things that have unquestionably happy endings
Is chocolate a hobby? Thexan says no, Ona’la says yes
Asmi
Gardening, a strange hobby for a carnivore, but it helped her recovery while living on Voss
She was trying to study for at least a Bachelor of Law after being assigned as attache to the Chancellor’s Office, but her various chronic illnesses made it very difficult. She was studying from home, but the workload was a lot to keep up with
Used to binge watch a lot of holoshows while she was bed-bound, has watched every season of Galactic House Hunters (yes, all one hundred and thirty-eight seasons). And yes, she loves watching those cringey old action flix that Felix loves 
Ellaz
SPORTSBALL. Surprising no one, Ellaz is a bit of a jock. Also, one of her brothers was a pro-racer for over two decades, and she was heavily into speeder sports as a result
Collects and builds model spaceships and speeders- another hobby she picked up from an older brother.
She and Aric are fans of crime procedurals. They yell at the screen and throw popcorn when the forensics lab in the shows offers completely implausible evidence about blasters and shrapnel in the murder case
Tahrin
Would you call it mixed martial arts? Whatever it is in a GFFA, Tahrin was extensively trained in every available saber style while locked in The Facility, and many of the more common fighting styles, and likes to practice in her private gyms. She likes to zone out while exercising
Meditating. Again, likes to zone out. Tahrin, do you not like being in your own head or something? 
She likes logic puzzles. Something she can sit and ponder for hours until the answer comes to her, something that tests the limits of her knowledge
Kallathe
Lana says she’s not allowed to say sex, what’s even the point Lana?
To the surprise of literally everyone who knows her, she likes strategy games, the harder the better. She’ll play against an AI opponent or another person, and despite her hotheaded nature, she is a masterful tactician. Again, to the surprise of literally everyone. 
She used to be a regular attendee in the front row at Dromund Kaas Fashion Week
Thessa
Reading, especially in bed, or in some kind of blanket cocoon on a rainy day. She will read anything, but has a particular interest in romance novels. They always have a happy ending. Also subscribed to numerous science journals specialising in xenobiology and xenochemistry
An art aficionado, she has a Patron Pass for the Dromund Kaas Imperial Museum of Art so that she can go year round whenever a new exhibit is unveiled  
Is tea a hobby? She likes to go to this particular Tea House in the Csillan Quarter near to where she and Vector and Arram live in Kaas City, it’s easy to lose an entire afternoon in there
Ysaine
Because of her years on Nar Shaddaa, she is inevitably a Huttball fan. Stans hard for the Djilka Dancers, an all women’s team
Involved in a lot of Women’s Support networks- for trans women, for veterans of the Great Galactic War, for domestic abuse survivors. Her services as a bounty hunter prior to the Great Hunt were almost exclusively in aiding women and children escape from bad situations, and she’s tried to follow through with making sure they’ve got networks to support them when they’re free
Enjoys a good raucous cantina. Drinking some beers with friends and watching the game and eating some greasy food and yelling a lot
Kol’aya
Long distance running, just likes to put her headphones on and start running and not stop until her legs are jelly 
Subscribed to a number of medical journals, specifically for neurosurgery and cybernetics but some general ones too
If pressed hard, she’d admit to enjoying sitting down with a beer and binging a couple of horror movies back to back, none of them scare her but she enjoys the genre
When she was younger, she used to enjoy clubbing, and going dancing until dawn
Xolani
Small scale gardening, like keeping small bonsai like plants in her home
Opera, and while she’s not a singer worthy of the stage, she does a worthy rendition of some of her favourites. Visited the Zakuulan theatre a lot during her time as the Lady of Sorrows
Crosswords and word puzzles
Bejah
R O B O T S. What’s that Nikos? Can I have that? Can I build that? I bet I can build that. Unconfirmed reports that she once built a Gree teleportation platform from scratch just from seeing them on Ilum 
M A R S H M A L L O W S. Do you know you can MAKE your OWN MARSHMALLOWS??? DO YOU KNOW MARSHMALLOWS HAVE LOTS OF DIFFERENT FLAVOURS??? 
She loves comic books, because the limited text and bright colours doesn’t make it too overwhelming for her to follow along with. If it’s particularly dense, she and Nikos will read it together. He does silly voices for all the characters. 
Pop music. She got to see Moon Room in concert for her 25th birthday and she cried
GLITTER AND BRIGHT COLOURED MAKEUP, she watches a lot of tutorials on HoloTube to get it right
Evie
Typical pub games- card games like pazaak and sabaac and ball games like billiards and pool
Computer games, especially arcade games 
Not much of a reader, but she’s great at mathematically minded things. She’s memorised the stats for her favourite Grav-ball team, and knows how to count cards, and plays things like Sudoku when she’s got nothing else on hand
She follows Grav-Ball religiously, has a tattoo of her favourite player’s number from the Terminosi Terrors
That’s not everyone obviously but it was all I could get done during work (oops, work?) so we’ll leave it there for now :D
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defira85 · 6 years
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“So you were the captain of a treasury ship,” she prompted, “but five years ago decided instead to become one of the solo agents of the throne, hunting down defectors and dissenters and those who would threaten the stability of Zakuul’s reign.”
Senya licked her lips. “That’s right.”
“And now you’ve had a change of heart, and want to help us?”
“Yes.”
She leaned forward slowly, eyes far too knowledgeable. “My dear woman, we can end with the facade any time you are ready- I had my people search everything about you the moment Captain Voresh called to say you were on your way.”
She sucked in a sharp breath, feeling remarkably light headed. “Oh,” was all she could say.
The Lady’s eyes turned kinder, almost sorrowful. “Indeed,” she said gently. “We were not aware that the Dowager Empress was still alive-”
“Please don’t call me that,” she said quickly. “I- it was never, I was never...”
She trailed off hopelessly, trying to convey the tangle of her ruined relationship with her family in a convenient soundbite. Thankfully, the Lady seemed to understand. “It is no easy thing to turn one’s back on one’s family,” she said, and her hand seemed to drift almost of its own volition to the ring she wore on the chain around her neck. “I can only imagine this has not been an easy choice for you to make.”
It took her a long few moments to respond. “No,” she whispered, “it has not.”
{And here we are at the end. I’ve left a more poignant message on the end of the chapter in AO3, but for now... enjoy. And thank you for reading along with me on this journey}
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defira85 · 7 years
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The holocomm fell to the floor with a muted clatter, any noise it made lost over the riotous party below; she pressed both hands to her face as she sobbed, the feeling huge and ugly, like it was trying to tear its way out of her body. It hurt, it all hurt so much, and she was angry and humiliated and frightened and so miserably fucking lonely. Did they think that she was like this on purpose? Did they not think that maybe she was like this because this was the only part of her that could survive all the years of her father’s brutal torture?
Could they not just... could they not see that she was the same person, the same sister? Or did they only want her like they remembered, smiling and laughing and sweetly, naively childlike?
She tried to suck in enough air through the weeping, but her chest burned like it was wrapped in molten iron, and her lungs didn’t want to inflate. She choked as she sobbed, angry, ugly tears that shook every cell of her being as they struggled to break out of her fragile skin. The tattoos on her arms burned, like they had when they’d been new, and the scars along her wrists ached and writhed and itched.
She didn’t want to be an unfortunate reminder, an uncomfortable thorn in their sides, a shadow of what could have been. They only wanted the blonde haired little girl, not the adult woman whose mere existence left them riddled with guilt and shame.
No one wanted her.
{Trigger warnings for self harm, PTSD, disordered eating, dubious sexual consent, child abuse and references to torture}
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defira85 · 7 years
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Ellaz breathed out sharply through her nose, jaw tight as she swung around to face him. “I’m a part of the Alliance,” she said bluntly.
He blinked. “The one with the Wrath-”
“Yeah, that one,” she said. “I’ve been funnelling information and defectors towards them for over two years now. But with the attacks on the Star Fortresses, there’s been a lot more hysteria amongst the Zakuulans and a lot more scrutiny on all of us, and it’s been damn near impossible to get in contact with folk out in the field. Hence, I made arrangements to meet up with Beniko, and used you as my cover to get upstairs-”
Navin felt a sick feeling in his stomach. Serren’s accusations rang in his ears, the implicit threat that the only reason the Green Jedi were allowed to exist at all was at Zakuul’s whims. And now he was standing party to the very same people who were conducting those attacks? “How dare you,” he snarled.
Ellaz blinked at him, her eyes turning quickly to steel. “Excuse me?”
“How dare you drag me into this without my consent,” he snapped, stabbing a finger into her chest. “You endanger not only me with your recklessness, but my entire Order! The lingering remnants of the Jedi can be quashed at any given moment for any given reason, and here you are giving them a good goddamn reason to wipe us out!”
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defira85 · 7 years
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With a yelp, Koth jerked backwards, swatting Len’s hand away. The neon lights were giving him a headache. Some psychopathic creature calling itself the Wrath was out there sending threats to the Emperor. He could feel his pants sticking to the leather of the seat. His whole body was throbbing from the fight with those thugs.
But none of that hurt as much as his soul.
He had borne the horrors of war, seeing first hand how the Zakuulan occupation of the galaxy had been far from the grand benevolence they had been told it would be. They hadn’t brought peace and stability to stars, they’d just... gods, they’d carved them out and left them hollow, leaving ruin and desolation in their wake. He’d lost friends and comrades on countless worlds, seen the suffering the Exarchs he served under enacted upon the worlds- and he’d felt the moment when the last sliver of desperate hope shrivelled and died in his chest, standing before a frenzied mob of civilians as they’d tried to swarm the Denon Planetary Senate. They’d been starving, furious, ground down underfoot by the greed of the man who had been granted control of the planet by their Emperor, and all he’d seen when he’d stared at them... had been his parents.
Desperate, humiliated, starving, but still willing to fight for what they believed in.
And for the first time in his life, he understood why they hadn’t believed in Zakuul.
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defira85 · 7 years
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Galla smiled. “We call it Odessen,” she said, her eyes an eerie silvery-white that reminded her far too much of the eyes of the possessed on Ziost. Lana’s reports had referred to them as seers, essentially, bound to serve Valkorion almost obsessively; the few times Vivaane had been able to give her credible information, she had seconded the observation. She couldn’t say she was entirely comfortable in the woman’s presence, not given how often she still dreamed of the hoards of white-eyed possessed sprinting through the streets of New Adasta towards her. “It is an ancient world, one that was known to our priests in ages past.”
“Does Zakuul know of it now?” she asked, uninterested in a lesson in their history.
“It is unlikely. There are no records of it in the public archives, and those of us who had access to the higher levels of Zakuulan Intelligence were unable to find any mention of it prior to our disgrace.”
“Oh?” She cocked her head to the side. “Your Order is out of favour with the establishment?”
For the first time, the woman looked something other than blankly ethereal, her expression shifting to one of irritation. “Our path does not align with that of Emperor Arcann’s,” she said, the most painfully diplomatic answer if ever she’d heard one. “It was always tradition in the time of Valkorion for each Scion to be paired with a Knight, a perfect balance of mental and physical prowess. But in the last year, we have seen the need for the Scions diminish, while the Knights flourish. Emperor Arcann no longer finds our services... necessary.”
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defira85 · 7 years
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“Are you trying to charm me, Master Tirall?” she asked, putting her hands over his where they rested on her belly.
“Hmm, possibly.”
“I’ll have you know, mister unmarried bachelor, that I have a fiancé and he won’t be happy if he catches you trying to woo me.”
She felt him smile against her neck. “Oh? Do you now?”
“I do. He’s very handsome and very strong.”
“He sounds intimidating; how lucky for me that he’s not here, and it’s just me instead.”
She couldn’t stop giggling, and she turned her head enough to catch him for a kiss. He laughed too, resting his forehead against hers as he held her gently. “I love you,” she said quietly.
“I love you too,” he said, without hesitation.
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defira85 · 7 years
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After a moment she cleared her throat and stepped away again, letting her hand fall back to her side; her fingers were warm where she’d touched his skin, and the sensation prickled. “Come now,” she said, “you didn’t travel across the galaxy to fret in a cave while inane children’s songs drill into your skull. Where is Ona’la?”
He had a hand over the place where she’d touched him, as if he was hugging the arm to him; she didn’t know what that gesture meant. “She’s resting,” he said, “she’s doing well with the pregnancy except for how easily she tires.”
“Well, that’s understandable. I found the process unbearably exhausting just with human children. I can’t imagine the strain it must put on a body to carry a hybrid child to term without the body rejecting it.” He winced, and she realised immediately that that had not been anywhere near as comforting as she’d intended it to be. “I- forgive me, Thexan, I am not- sometimes I do not recognise-”
“It’s alright,” he said quickly, the wince still lingering in the tight press of his lips. “She’s healthy. And the baby is healthy too, apparently.”
She clasped her hands behind her back. “That is most excellent,” she said. “And again, my apologies.”
Wherein Tahrin is bad at being a person, Thexan is struggling with the responsibilities of being an adult, Theron is thrown in the deep end yet again, and two guest characters sneak on in
Apologies for the long delay between chapters, but onwards and upwards!
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