#Tom Nook is a goddamn saint

[tiwaztyrsfist]

Looking for a contractor who can add a second story to my house for  ¥1,248,000 and dig out a basement for ¥2,498,000 (¥‭3,746,000‬ total or US$34,692.73) labor and materials included.

Also will need you to provide a self financed interest-free loan with an open repayment schedule. 

Thanks.

#ACNH #Tom Nook is a goddamn saint #also you notice how he's one of the only animals to wear pants? #It's to hide his ENOURMOUS balls #This has nothing to do with the loans #He's just a Tanooki #They have giant balls #which they have been known to use like Taiko drums #Folklore man what can you do? #Anyway #Tom Nook is awesome and if you don't love him you suck #And calling him a Raccoon is AT BEST a microagression #That should have been tanuki not tanooki #but I don't want to have to retype all these #so fuck it

[yuribeam]

Astral Projecting in Walmart

A Cautionary Tale

today was.. a trip bc we went out to get groceries and ended up getting dinner at a japanese restaurant first, and being the fool i am i got a large bowl of rice that ended up to be family size for several people and guess who ate it all? this bitch!!

i’m actually not supposed to have white rice or most simple grains (what i eat normally is nasty multigrain seed bread and "pasta” made from quinoa and brown rice) because my disease-ridden body turns simple carbs right into sugar, and i’m not supposed to have sugar because my body can not handle it. like at all. 

SO my brother and i ended up at a super walmart with me losing my shit hopped up on sugar, wandering the aisles trying and failing to stifle crazed laughter in between sudden bouts of seriousness and weird impulsive urges like smashing a can of baked beans open on the floor and sitting on the paper towels (which i did.) i’m pretty sure my mom thought i was on drugs which was fair tbh 

things i thought were goddamn hilarious when i was hopped up on sugar:

a package of canned ham (?)

a wet floor sign

a car that had a large picture of a rodent on the side

a group of tiny girl scouts who weren’t in uniform and their moms who i was momentarily convinced was a cult 

paper towels for lesbians (the version of brawny with a woman in a flannel)

yarn

eggs. just eggs. 

stuffed pastel bunnies that sing Jesus Loves Me and are probably haunted and definitely cursed

a tiny tom nook figurine

saint patrick’s day suspenders

horse shampoo, for horses

shampoo with a scent listed as “man”

the Walmart Receipt Cop

organizing the shopping carts 

a bundle of blankets in the middle of the highway that looked like a body and honestly may have been bc we’re in that part of rhode island

a river

doors

stairs

on the plus side, i will never have to pay for drugs because i can just eat a couple servings of rice so there’s that 

#you know when you were little and that one kid whose mom didnt let them #eat sugar and then they had sugar at your house and lost their goddamn mind? #that was me today but mentally unstable LMAO #personal #food mention // #drug mention /