#Up. Bc ive always been good at masking no one even considerd i was on the spectrum. And it wasnt until i got friends who was diagnosed and

[mrfoox]

Just remembered how after my autistic diagnose every offical person was so careful to approach me about it at first. I know that's probably standard bc not everyone will like those news or know how to handle it but I legit just had doctors go 'hey... So... Are you okay? How do you feel?' and I was like 'haha, nice, so I haven't just been faking/now I know why I'm so different'

#miranda talking shit #And i mean... I wouldnt be diagnosed at all if i didnt personally call for it. I wouldn't have been able to see anyone unless i brought it #Up. Bc ive always been good at masking no one even considerd i was on the spectrum. And it wasnt until i got friends who was diagnosed and #Discussed it with me and their experiences + me reading up on it myself ... Where i was like wait uh ... Actually lol that's me haha #But i know plenty of people probably don't like to get the diagnosis. For me personally it was 90% a gopd thing #It felt a lot like... Ive always known i was 'diffrent' and ive always felt something was so wrong with me bc i didny work like other peope #And then it was like .... No im different but this is the thing that makes me different and its not something 'wrong' with me #For me it felt very freeing to get i guess a label or name on why im different. Before iy was all just... On me? #Like it was my own fault. Why couldnt i do this or just act normal why couldnt i just handle things others could? It all felt very. ... #Personal. Like it was my own fault ? Idk man. It was just great to get a reason to why i was diffrent and that it actually ... Made sense? #There were reasons behind why i got so overwhelmed or behaved weirdly etc yeah #My relationship with my own autism is the weirdest shit ever bc i dont personally think there's many positives with this diagnose #I can think of 10 cons per 1 pro basically but i also... Never had any bad feelings about getting it on paper that i have it? #I know my life would be much easier if i didnt have it. But i also know it cant be cured and is just part of me so #I have a fairly good or at least neatrul general feeling about it. Before i was diagnosed I'd cry and have breakdowns as to #Why i was so weird and why i couldnt be like everyone else. I got that on an weekly basis. After my diagnose? Very rarely. #I guess thats why im so... Supporting and maybe pushing others who think they are on the spectrum to check it out #Many will think oh but it doesnt DO anything. It doesnt change anything. It doesnt help to get it on paper ya know ? #And well yeah i guess technically that's true but man idk. If you have ever felt alienated like ive been my entire childhood and teen years #Getting the diagnose was so nice. And i got to learn about myself in much different ways than before. And understand that i am in fact not #Alone and not so misunderstood by everyone on earth lol. #@anyone who think they might be autistic give me an message and lets talk tbh if you want and need someone to discuss that with #Autism tag