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folerdetdufoler · 6 years

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Do you ever feel that fandom is pretty negative, and that maybe Tumblr is kind of toxic? I'm just feeling sad, and seeing fandom drama (sp. With skam and the remakes) it's making me feel sad and lonely. I'm afraid of start hating everything, but I don't know how to quit.

hmm. i understand how you’re feeling. i get like that too, where i start engaging with too much of the drama and i end up hating things/people that i used to be so attached to, that gave me joy. then i lie in bed (though to be quite honest i’ve been lying in bed this whole time. it’s the negative feelings that come and go as they please) and start hating myself, wishing i could just delete all of my accounts and move on. but then i don’t know what i’d move on to, who else i would talk to, and then i feel…trapped. so i go back to tumblr/twitter/instagram and pick up right where i left off. i “know” how to quit but i also know how difficult it is to walk away from the attention that drama creates, and i go right back to feeding it. what’s frustrating is that i don’t have anyone to blame for this but myself. none of us do. fandom doesn’t exist outside of us.

there’s this thing that people say when they see other people getting too worked up over something that they consider inconsequential; they tell them (or rather subtweet/vagueblog them) to go take a walk. go outside. look at a tree. it’s a weird way of shutting down someone’s opinion, saying it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, in real life. and i kind of don’t mind the reality check, so i shrug off its offensiveness. but it’s also a good reminder that you don’t have to be here. and not in an “abandon fandom, focus on your real life” way, but that you don’t have to be in this particular place. there is no set boundary for fandom, it’s literally just whoever is talking about the particular thing at any given moment. so what you might think is the fandom could actually just be a small (yet loud?) subset of it, and there’s actually a lot more of it to be discovered. i know i’ve spoken about “the skam fandom” as if i knew its actual reach, as if i can speak to represent everyone who enjoys the show, but i know i don’t. i know about fifty people here on tumblr, fifty on twitter, and only a fraction of those people are from the actual countries that have aired a skam show. my point is, i only know the fandom that i choose to know.

i entered the fandom on tumblr, following as many people talking about skam as i could find. as i got to know them though, i trimmed my dashboard down to something i could manage on the level that i wanted. i found other people through conversations or tags, and i stopped following those who didn’t share my interests (skam or otherwise). i created a space on tumblr where i was only seeing what i wanted to see, and that made tumblr quite positive for me. drama-free, non-toxic. (we can discuss the risks of an echo chamber later, when i’m done listening to myself talk.) you might see an entirely different fandom on here though! and tumblr could be quite alienating if you’re constantly reading posts that you don’t agree with or understand, or if you feel your own opinions aren’t being heard by those around you. i made twitter and instagram accounts last year because i heard people complaining about their posts getting stolen, their work stripped of credit in favor of formats on other platforms that spread faster and gave more attention to the stealer. i wanted to see if things i had made were being ripped too (if my work, my jokes, my theories were worth being stolen because someone saw value in them for themselves). but then i started doing the same thing i had done on tumblr: looking for other fans, looking for shared interests, seeing other people be listened to and validated and wanting that for myself. so i followed and listened and jumped into conversations or cracked jokes and hoped people would respond. some did, some didn’t, just like on tumblr, just like most any social media platform, but i knew i couldn’t take offense because i did it too. i am selective with who i pay attention to, as everyone should be. i found people who wanted to listen to me just as much as i wanted to listen to them.

sometimes drama creeps in, usually involving people on the very outer reaches of my bubble of fandom, but i get a taste of it through subtweets and anonymous asks. i get angry, then i get frustrated that i let myself get angry, that i let something bother me like that, or worse, that i tried to chase down the subtweets and seek out the drama because i wanted some popcorn.gif. and to be honest that’s what makes me hate myself the most, when i get scared that i’m not actually in the thick of it, that someone else is getting my friends’ attention. but that’s when i remember i need to take a walk. look at a fucking tree. focus on being the kind of person that can contribute positively, and trust that i’ll receive positive attention in return. fandom is what you make of it. i’ve found it’s easier to not hate something if you don’t pay attention to the hate it’s already getting.

so i’m not sure what exactly feels so toxic for you, and i’m sorry i took this detour through my entire life story to get to this point, but maybe allow yourself to block/unfollow/ignore certain people or topics, and find new ones that better fit your outlook? numbers don’t matter, mutuals don’t matter, popularity doesn’t matter if it all contributes to your own sadness and loneliness. the skam fandom is huge, and there are smaller communities within it who might be kinder to you, to each other. they also might introduce you to other things outside of skam that you could bond over, have longer conversations about (y’all i am so game to spend hours discussing the way even’s eyes crinkle when he smiles that one particular way, but i’m also into hearing what else is going on in your life, what else is playing in your 3273 other tabs), or discover on your own.

fandom is constantly shifting, changing. you can too.

#kerryrants

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abnormal-angel · 7 years

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Im not sure I understand all the "drama" around DK and Norm. What happened? Why is everyone hating on her? Are they a couple or not? What did she do that makes people so angry? Where do people take their info on their relationship? I'm so behind on the gossips. Sorry for asking. I hope you'll be able to light my lantern.

Hey Anon! How much time do you have? Pull up a seat and I will tell you the tale of dk (lol). I’m going to try and stick the main points here, if I leave anything our anons will let me know.

First please check out the dk wank tag I created, this will start you at the very beginning of what started all this for me. Which was he trolling the fans on IG. Anyway here some main reasons why fans are upset with her.

1. I have known about DK since she started dating Joshua Jackson about a decade ago, I have never been a fan of hers and have always thought she was just entirely fake and only in it for the fame and attention. She used Joshua’s name to become “somebody” in Hollywood, from which I hear isn’t her biggest fan.

2. She is a serial cheater and known to leech off of one guy and then jump right into bed with another. She has cheated on her ex husband and cheated on Joshua with Norman while making the movie, Sky. Cheating on Joshua right under his nose, even though he helped get the film publicity by cameoing in the movie, which still flopped.

3. She carried on cheating on Joshua with Norman and who knows who else tbh after Joshua gave her another chance. After a year Joshua finally kicked her to the curb when she was caught cheating on him again. For some reason dk is the one who sought out Norman for the role in sky and had apparently wanted to get her hooks in him that early. What is even more sick is that Norman and Joshua had been friends and had known each other for years.

4. From what we known dk and norman have been casually screwing around with each other since then (2015) but Norman has also been screwing around with a lot of other women on the side at the same time. dk has been pushing really hard the past few months to try and force norman into saying they are exclusive, going so far as to set up her paparazzi rag (The Daily Mail) to snap shots of them out on the town or her going to his apartment (showing everyone where he lives btw). She then has her people there type up hyped up articles with headlines like, “Sorry Joshua, but she’s taken!!” Using Norman’s name to throw shit towards Josh all the while pretending she really cares about Norman. Who she was quoted to call, “a very broken,” man in an interview while filming sky. Uh what?? So you love your men broken do ya dk? Twisted.

5. She is an emotional manipulator and many of us worry that she is going to hurt his heart. She has already proven all the cares about is her face in the spotlight and she uses guys to get this attention. Literally, no one thinks she can act, so her life legit has become siccing paparazzi on Norman every second he has been in NYC on hiatus and then leaking them to her rag. All the rag articles mention Norman Reedus, even in ones where it is just her picking up her laundry or some shit, because it gets clicks and she gets paid.

6. dk has a sick and twisted tie with the Daily Mail. Check it out. Not only are most of these articles just plain click bait, but it shows her connection to the rag is a deep one where she is basically paying paparazzi to setup norman and her and norman on the town and then she pays the daily mail writers to write whatever b.s. story she wants us to believe. Not too mention her IG appears to be filled with paid trolls who help her block and delete all negative commentary on her IG and fill it with bullshit, “you’re so beautiful we love you and norman,” comments. Which again Norman has NEVER come out and actually said they are dating so this just again shows her lack of respect and willingness to spin things her way, even in fucking IG comments. lol hilarious. She spends her days trolling fans and stalking norman, she has legit not left him alone this entire hiatus, except when he is at cons. Bitch is scared of fans and should be, we are catching onto all her b.s.

7. Don’t even get me started on the video she set up with her and norman about a month back. He was wasted out of his mind and she was parading him around like a puppy on a leash, while the paps snapped away. Then she set up up so we had to watch her attacking him basically while she gives him a hickey and he stands there awkwardly and tense af, knowing they are being filmed. Then she smacked his ass, as if to claim him, he looked pissed. If you can stomach the video (seriously the grossest thing I have ever seen tbh *shudders*) google “diane kruger daily mail norman reedus makeout” or something like that and you will find it. But be forewarned it is gross.

8. Also this very same day she paid paps in L.A. to follow Joshua around when he was on a date with his new girl. She then leaked those photos because she had been bugging Josh to go public for a while with this new woman and he wouldn’t. So she legit set him up so that he was forced to go public, at least in paparazzi rags. No major media magazine ever picks up any of these things it is tabloid fodder that she gets paid for and spins to her advantage. So that very day she leaks Joshua on his date pap picture is the very same day she set up and leaked that video.

9.She is trying to lock his ass down and show people he is hers, when in reality he has never come out publically about being in a relationship with her or it being anything exclusive or official. Norman also has always loved his privacy and has a hatred for paparazzi and has a well known history of this. So her using paps to force himself to out himself with her is really sick and twisted of her. And her setting him up at his apt, showing where he lives in also very disrespectful.

10. She is an emotional manipulator, she is very good at trying to spin everything so that she is the victim when in fact she is victimizing him. He is also not completely innocent in all of this, but I believe he has a good heart and she is playing with it. She is literally using him for everything she can squeeze out of him.

11. We also found out last week that it was her and her people who set up and propped up the false pregnancy rumors that have been flying around the past few weeks. Even though every event she is at she is caught drinking, just another way to troll fans and gain clicks on her rag. Also again if you respected Norman you wouldn’t be spreading false rumors and purposefully playing into them. Just shows what kind of person she really is, a user.

12. Norman is obviously hating the paparazzi be sicced on him all the time and some theorize this is a way she is keeping him on lock down. Think about it, he can’t fuck around if they are watching his every move. Another way to force exclusivity when it is obvious Norman does not want that. She traps and uses him and then calls it “love.”

[EDIT ANON ADDED ITEM]: Add to your list. DK was only allowed in Spain on the promise she would not call paps. She begged NR to go. She broke it before she left because she alerted the DM paps she was leaving the country for everyone to see. DK has also said shit about one of NR’s closest friends She has also said bad things about Norman himself last year to get what she wants.

[EDIT ANOTHER ANON ADDED ITEM]: Do not forget she is a plain classic stalker. She stalked NR fan blogs and saw about his ex-gf ig he commented on. She tracked the gf down and liked posts on her account about NR. She must spend most of her time researching his name. She went to Italy and when she saw he was hanging with his twd friends she flew back the same day because she is so crazy. And she keeps up comments about them marrying in secret on her social media.

—–

Whew! I think I got most of the main points here Anon. Long story short she is bad news and making Norman look awful in the industry’s eyes right now, which he doesn’t need or deserve. We all hope he gets away from this toxic manipulative woman soon. He deserves to be treated so much better!

WE LOVE YOU NORMAN! And we love Joshua! Who didn’t deserve any of this (after ten years with her she does this to him) And we hope that they both get away from her as soon as possible.

Hope that clears things up. Thanks Anon! Send Norman some love and clarity, he is really grappling with big decisions about this situation rn if you ask me…

#norman reedus #dk wank #diane kruger

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