#You Should Be Wearing A Hat Outside Even If School Hasn't Started Yet

[wizardlyghost]

yknow i think i would maybe have had an easier time in life if i had been a little less autistic :/

#looking back its just an endless parade of me Caring About The Rules Come On Guys We Need To Follow The Rules Stop Mucking Around #You Should Be Wearing A Hat Outside Even If School Hasn't Started Yet #This Is A Sleepover We Should Be Sleeping Bedtime Was 7:00 Stop Trying To Talk To Me And Go To Sleep #The Code Of Conduct Says No Swearing And So Does The Bible So Knock It Off Please #It's Unhygenic To Cut Different Fruits Without Washing The Knife In Between There Was A Whole Section Of Training About Cross Contamination #honestly far and away the most shocking thing about my life is that nobody has ever punched me in the nose #i just. can't. stop. somehow. despite how much i hate myself for it #it's not even like i enshrine The Rules as their own thing! i've broken so many rules that i thought were stupid or inconvenient! #i guess i just internalised the idea of Standing Up For What You Believe Is Right as a kid. and then tried to practice it. like an idiot. #and it just gets me into trouble time and time again because you're Supposed To Stick To It No Matter The Opposition #which combines with my scots bloody mindedness to turn me into a terrier clamped onto a mack truck #utterly pointless kinda ridiculous looking yet biting even harder any time someone tries to make me let go #it sucks and i hate it but it's also the only way i seem able to live without being completely crushed by shame over Turning The Blind One #:(